It's like a virus.

[hackthis_archive]

serialkarma has officially come to the dark side of HP. Not only is she’s writing Harry/Draco, but she’s writing it the way ethrosdemon and I like it -- meaning there are dead people! *cackles* Oh, yesyesyes. Read Newborn, now!

*

Yesterday was shanalle's birthday, which, I um, missed. But dude, I'm really kinda late on the birthday train normally, so I suppose this shouldn't be any different. Yeah, really, not making myself sound good here, am I? Okay.

*tosses confetti*

Happy (Belated) Birthday, shanalle! I come bearing fictional tidings.

Standard Hack Disclaimer: This is fiction, all fiction, and nothing but fiction, so help me Merlin. This did not happen to the best of my knowledge, although, I have been known to forget things that have certainly happened. I don't believe I forgot this -- if I was privy to it in the first place. If I just guessed a lot, I don't think you can sue me for that. But if you can, please don't. Merci.

LOTRips
Love Not By Degrees




As much as Billy loves Dominic, he doesn’t always like him very much.

Dominic talks too much and can be impossibly self-righteous to the point of parody. His unending energy can be tiring and grating; surely it wouldn’t kill him to stand still for longer than one-sixteenth of a second.

At the very least Dom could do something about the Californication of his hair and his vocabulary -- Los Angeles is not on the express service between Manchester and Glasgow. And Billy knows it’s unfair to judge someone so much younger by the same standards, but on occasion, Dom’s lack of common sense is appalling.

Billy knows his own sense of preservation isn’t necessarily much better given his predilection for strip clubs and the like, but at least there’s no photographic proof of his exploits. If Billy has to see one more image of Dominic being pawed by some errant starfucker, who probably can’t tell Lord of the Rings from Star Wars, he’s really going to lose the plot.

Billy knows that these are simply minor irritations in what is otherwise an amazing relationship, various complications, girlfriends, and intrusive media aside. However, sometimes his resolve gets pushed too far.

Sometimes Billy tries to divide the things he loves from the things he hates, but he can’t because they’re all a part of the same design.



45 Degrees of Irritation

There are little habits that Dominic has that drive Billy to distraction, these tendencies that do Billy’s nut every time.

Dom breathes too loudly when he’s doing his yoga at the arsecrack of dawn whilst Billy’s still trying to sleep, and Dom’s unfailingly chipper before his first cup of tea, when Billy still can’t tell his arse from his elbow.

In some interviews, Dom’s entirely too candid about the things he knows about Billy’s past, and that just irks Billy to no end.

If he wanted to share his past with the entire world, he wouldn’t leave it to Dom ‘I’ve Got the Tact of a Rhinoceros’ Monaghan.

Thankfully, Billy’s not the sort of person who believes you have to love everything about someone in order to be in love with them. In fact, Billy believes that it’s best not to love everything about a person. Willful blindness can only end badly when the truth comes to light, and there’s nothing worse than realizing the priceless bauble once relished is actually cut glass from the off-license on the corner.



90 Degrees of Irritation

Billy dates women. Dominic dates – well, he dates. When they’re in the same city they go out on the pull with Elijah and Orli, or they did before Orli decided to domesticate himself, and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

Billy likes women. This does not mean that he can’t like Dominic as well.

He’s fairly certain that Dominic understands this, but every now and then Dom will make a particularly vicious comment about Billy’s marital state, and Billy will blink for a just a fraction too long.

In the beginning, Billy just thought it was mere jealousy, but now he knows that he underestimated Dominic’s feelings about the openness of their arrangement. Apparently it’s fine to date but not to get too serious.

There’s jealousy and then there’s the wicked, green-eyed monster of ‘You Are Mine, and If You Think I’m Giving You Up to that Slag, You Are Quite Mistaken.’

The thing is, though, that Dominic doesn’t have any real competition in Billy’s affections, but he doesn’t seem to listen when Billy says this. Instead he rails and shouts, and then he hangs up the phone and winds up splattered all over the cover of the Daily Mail the morning after.



180 Degrees of Irritation

When Billy first met Dom, he wasn’t quite sure what to make of him. Too young. Too loud. Too obnoxious. Too good looking. Too much of pretty much everything.

Naturally, Billy couldn’t help but find him fascinating and amusing. He still does. And yet, all the things Billy loves are things he can easily come to hate. He knows how simple it would be to dislike Dominic for his openness and his candor. On more than one occasion he’s had to berate Dom for being too honest, for not being honest enough, for not playing by the rules of the industry they’ve chosen. And then Dom goes back and does the same fucking thing over again, and it drives Billy up the fucking wall, and Billy can’t live like this. He’s not on for dating drama queens, and sometimes Billy wonders what on earth he’s doing with Dominic in the first place.

They’ve always known there are no guarantees, and this is not to say that Billy’s planning to split any time soon, but there’s always the chance that they won’t work out. There’s always a voice in the back of Billy’s head warning him that one day Dom will push too far, and Billy will have to take the hard line.



360 Degrees: Full Circle

Billy likes the way that Dom rubs his eyes with his fist when he’s still waking up first thing in the morning. He likes that Dom still gets excited before interviews, even after three years of being asked the same stupid and pointless questions over and over again. And the fact that Dom always seems so happy to see him, no matter how long it’s been since they were last together, is a pretty prime example of why Billy has this perpetually amused expression on his face.

Billy does love Dom.

Perhaps he loves him more because he knows that there are so many things that they do that annoy each other, and that they’re not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. And yet, he really can’t imagine ever being with anyone else.

If Dominic were truly everything that he’s always wanted, Billy knows he would love him a lot less.


-end-

Notes:

+Betad by serialkarma, who is very good to me, so you should be very good to her. Or else I'll come after you and spork you in your sleep.

+Improv: prime, split, fraction, fair, divide

+Title taken from the Elbow lyrics for ‘Newborn’.

Comments

[starlikeshadow.livejournal.com]

this was...jeebus I could quote the whole damn thing!


Gosh, I loves this!

I do hope you write more monaboyd!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I do hope you write more monaboyd!

I've already written a fair amount (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=hackthis&keyword=LOTRips&filter=all), but I'm pleased that you enjoyed this. Thanks for commenting!