ext_7740 ([identity profile] lyra-sena.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] hackthis_archive 2004-05-06 10:46 am (UTC)

You wrote it! When I saw your post, you... really don't want to know how I screamed like a crazed looney. And no, no I was *not* jumping up and down. Now that we have that cleared up...

Z, this is hot and wonderful. I adore the structure, and the keen way you incorporate drowning and water into almost every scene. I can't even list them all, but it was the little things, like 'melting out his ears' and 'spilling from his lips' that subtley keep the reader right there under with Ray. I felt like I was drowning along with him, and good god when he and Fraser kissed, I could *feel* the weight off Ray's chest. I love how they're both gasping for air, how they're both *right there* with one another.

This is a brilliant debut into the fandom, and by god I'm going to keep encouraging you and jumping up and down like a monkey on crack if this is the result. *adores you*




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