"I know you did it," Lassiter said with cold certainity.
"I did not! You have no proof," Guster protested wiping crumbs from the corner of his mouth.
"That's because you just wiped away the evidence. You stole my cookie!"
"I did no such thing," Guster replied.
"There's chocolate under your fingernail," Spencer pointed out from where he was sitting on a near by desk.
"Shawn! You're supposed to be on my side," Guster protested and then paused and added, "Hypothetically. If I needed a side. Which I don't because I did not steal this man's cookie."
"Well, hypothetically, if you needed someone on your hypothetical side, hypothetically, you should have given this hypothetical person half of your hypothetical cookie, hypothetically speaking," Spencer said, getting off the desk and moving closer to Lassiter.
"That's way too many hypotheticals," Guster protested.
"Hypothetically," Spencer replied and then looked at Lassiter for approval.
Lassiter nodded in agreement and Spencer smiled at him.
"I cannot believe this!" Guster protested.
"In fact I think I'm getting a vision! I see a jar. It's a little hazy, it might be jelly jar... no... wait maybe a jam jar... no... no... it's becoming clearer... it's a cookie jar and someone has stolen a cookie for it! And that someone is you, Gus!"
"Who me?"
"Yes, you!"
"We are not doing this, Shawn. And this stupid because there was no jar."
"How do you know there was no jar unless you were there to steal the cookie?" Lassiter asked.
"Exactly!" Spencer nodded.
"This is totally ridiculous. I don't know you anymore, Shawn, that you would accuse me in this manner."
"Well maybe I don't know the man who wouldn't share another man's cookie with me," Spencer replied.
"This from the man who never shared his ding-dongs with me. There are two ding-dongs in a package. Two, Shawn. And you would just shove them both in your mouth at the same time," Guster replied, starting to raise his voice.
"I was nine! At least I'm not a cookie thief!"
"I am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Hey... Hey!" Lassiter shouted grabbing hold of Spencer by the shirt as he moved to lunge at Guster.
They both turned and looked at Lassiter with curious eyes.
"I don't care who stole my cookie. I just want you both to go far away, please," Lassiter begged.
"Look what you did, Gus. He's mad now. You can't go taking another man's cookie like that," Spencer said, shaking his head sadly.
"Why does it sound so sordid when you say it. And I didn't do it!" Guster protested.
"Sordid? Who uses that word?" Spencer objected.
Lassiter closed his eyes.
"Lassie, are you okay?" Spencer asked, worried.
"If I can't see you, then you're not there," Lassiter replied grimly, eyes tightly shut.
"Oh Gus," Spencer said sadly as they started to walk away, "You broke him."
Part II
"I did not! You have no proof," Guster protested wiping crumbs from the corner of his mouth.
"That's because you just wiped away the evidence. You stole my cookie!"
"I did no such thing," Guster replied.
"There's chocolate under your fingernail," Spencer pointed out from where he was sitting on a near by desk.
"Shawn! You're supposed to be on my side," Guster protested and then paused and added, "Hypothetically. If I needed a side. Which I don't because I did not steal this man's cookie."
"Well, hypothetically, if you needed someone on your hypothetical side, hypothetically, you should have given this hypothetical person half of your hypothetical cookie, hypothetically speaking," Spencer said, getting off the desk and moving closer to Lassiter.
"That's way too many hypotheticals," Guster protested.
"Hypothetically," Spencer replied and then looked at Lassiter for approval.
Lassiter nodded in agreement and Spencer smiled at him.
"I cannot believe this!" Guster protested.
"In fact I think I'm getting a vision! I see a jar. It's a little hazy, it might be jelly jar... no... wait maybe a jam jar... no... no... it's becoming clearer... it's a cookie jar and someone has stolen a cookie for it! And that someone is you, Gus!"
"Who me?"
"Yes, you!"
"We are not doing this, Shawn. And this stupid because there was no jar."
"How do you know there was no jar unless you were there to steal the cookie?" Lassiter asked.
"Exactly!" Spencer nodded.
"This is totally ridiculous. I don't know you anymore, Shawn, that you would accuse me in this manner."
"Well maybe I don't know the man who wouldn't share another man's cookie with me," Spencer replied.
"This from the man who never shared his ding-dongs with me. There are two ding-dongs in a package. Two, Shawn. And you would just shove them both in your mouth at the same time," Guster replied, starting to raise his voice.
"I was nine! At least I'm not a cookie thief!"
"I am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Hey... Hey!" Lassiter shouted grabbing hold of Spencer by the shirt as he moved to lunge at Guster.
They both turned and looked at Lassiter with curious eyes.
"I don't care who stole my cookie. I just want you both to go far away, please," Lassiter begged.
"Look what you did, Gus. He's mad now. You can't go taking another man's cookie like that," Spencer said, shaking his head sadly.
"Why does it sound so sordid when you say it. And I didn't do it!" Guster protested.
"Sordid? Who uses that word?" Spencer objected.
Lassiter closed his eyes.
"Lassie, are you okay?" Spencer asked, worried.
"If I can't see you, then you're not there," Lassiter replied grimly, eyes tightly shut.
"Oh Gus," Spencer said sadly as they started to walk away, "You broke him."