Please bear with us while we break for the crazy.

[hackthis_archive]

A few days ago I learned that Michael Phelps was enjoying his post Olympics, err, R&R at a resort in Portugal (Hilton Vilamoura at Cascatas Resort & Spa). I noted it, noted that it said he was with his friends, but not which friends, which then lead to this exchange yesterday:

alethialia: Hey, Michael's in Portugal! Did you know this?
hackthis: Uh, yeah. Did I not tell you this?
alethialia: You didn't but I LOVE that you just know that. Is he with Ryan, too?
hackthis: They haven't said who he's with, but does anybody even know where Ryan is? Exactly. Process of elimination: if I can't eliminate where you are, you must be with Michael.
alethialia: I'm shocked you don't have spies in the resort sending you daily updates with, like, pictures. Or at least that you don't have someone who has someone who has these things.
hackthis: Hmmm. Maybe not enough people know I'm looking. Not that I'm looking. Actually, you know, my spies may just be waiting to stumble upon the photographic evidence.

Right? RIGHT!

Because I spend a lot of time with you lot and I just know that if you all have any information of any kind you would tell me, right? RIGHT.

This morning I get this tidbit of information. To wit, Michael and Ryan aren't playing 18 holes anymore, because Michael's back in town hanging with Tiger Woods (even though the person he really wants to meet, and has said so ad nauseum is Michael Jordan). Where was I?

Oh, right. So I knew that Michael is slated to host Saturday Night Live on 13 September, which you know a) I think will be kind of a disaster. I heart Michael, but he's no public speaker b) Ryan will most definitely be there egging him on and c) did I mention the diaster part? Maybe if he wanders around in his LZR nobody will care.

But Wait! There's more!

Now, it's not just SNL. It's also the VMAs (MTV Video Music Awards for the acronym lite) [insert cringing here]. Maybe this will be where Shia kidnaps him for Ari sparky77.

But wait! There's more!

The musical guest on SNL the night Michael hosts will be none other than his most favoritest rapper ever -- Lil' Wayne.

This is going to be epic. I am now required to watch this.

If I spent half as much time doing real work as I do doing this shit I would totally be Queen of All the Cool Countries by now.

Comments

[alethialia.livejournal.com]

Because I spend a lot of time with you lot and I just know that if you all have any information of any kind you would tell me, right? RIGHT.

I would! Except, you know, I have no information. But I can always egg you on. Really, I'm appalled people haven't been feeding you these things just as a matter of course. Unless said resort has, like, White House-level security, for MP Must Be Protected, and then I understand...and am amused on an entirely different level.

Maybe if he wanders around in his LZR nobody will care.

This seems to work for those ESPN commercials. I...still do not get those. But I keep seeing them while at the gym and really can't be bothered with the non-understanding. I could worry about it...or not.

Maybe this will be where Shia kidnaps him for Ari

Oh. My. God. That is too awesome to contemplate.

Actually, off the top of your head, do you know who his agent is? Is he repped solely by a sports agent or is he being courted now by the Hollywood full-service ones?

[starfishchick]

They haven't said who he's with, but does anybody even know where Ryan is? Exactly. Process of elimination: if I can't eliminate where you are, you must be with Michael.

iseult_variante and I have a theory like this... but ours is that everyone in the world ever is having sex with Ian Thorpe. And that it cures all ills. :)

The musical guest on SNL the night Michael hosts will be none other than his most favoritest rapper ever -- Lil' Wayne.

DUDE.

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

Maybe he'll bring Ryan as his date to the VMAs.

Maybe this will be where Shia kidnaps him for Ari.

It really is kind of perfect because then there will be a week for things to get fixed before SNL.

Oh... and would happen is that Shia and Michael would just be talking and then Michael would stumble, fall, and hit his head on Shia's car. Shia would panic, stuff Michael in the car (though I have no clue how Shia would pick him up) and run for it. And thus, an international incident would be born.

[antheia.livejournal.com]

I love you.

[gene-lee.livejournal.com]

Phelps is heading to Disneyworld... in very close proximity to Gainesville. ;)

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20222196,00.html

[britchick5000.livejournal.com]

Hi, I lurk on your journal occasionally, hope you don't mind me chipping in. Phelps is, according to various blogs, going to be appearing in the season finale of Entourage. I think the original story came from Perezhilton.com, so this may have to be taken with a pinch of salt, but, it would be pretty awesome.

[metrosex.livejournal.com]

http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_olympics/106094.html

=)