hackthis_archive | War, Southland and comment-fic, oh my!

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War, Southland and comment-fic, oh my!

It's interesting that the plague showing up in China and the Birthers bullshit only kind of makes me nervous, but

tomricks interrupting his vacation to blog about shit falling apart in Iraq makes me want to crawl under my desk and kiss my ass goodbye.

Also, this article about a personal trainer who put on 88 lbs. just so he could lose it and see what it's like for his clients is pretty compelling. I think this is going to make him a much stronger trainer.

I feel like I'm saying this every time I post (and I probably am, too bad!), BUT, for those stragglers who aren't on the train yet. NBC is re-airing Southland right now in the run up to the premiere (Sept 25th) on Friday nights at 8pm. You can also watch it on NBC.com and on Hulu. They have the first four episodes up (there are only seven), so please, please please, watch it. You won't regret it. Really.

In other Southland news: Michael and Ben start filming tomorrow. If I was any more excited I'd bounce out of my chair. Oh, wait, and L is writing me comment!porn featuring slutty!Ben. You all wish you had an L, but she is mine. Okay, jointly shared with Q and A. And her family. And all of you, but you know what I mean.

Offer Redux!: Oh, and I've been thinking, you know, I had so much fun the last time around that if anybody's got some like photos or something and might want some comment-fic, you know, I think I'm open for business.* Who knows, you might even get L, A and Q to play along too. Then again, they might all boycott and you'll be stuck with me. ;-)

*You know how it goes.

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Nate's going to a BROTHEL?! When did this happen? Esplain!

You don't worry about salmonella when you are killing people all the time. I learned that from L.

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

No, THAT'S the line of the day.

See? Watch Brad's head go KABOOM.

It's L's story. It may have been the inappropriately!jealous!Brad one. I, in my helpfulness, suggested Brad should go in and check to make rilly SURE it was a brothel...only to find out they solely employed MALE whores. 'Cause Brad would go apeshit. But then it disappeared from L's musings. She's a tease. Or else that even broke her brain.

Ooh, that kinda makes me proud of myself.

ETA: Also, this is just more proof that I should leave the angst to L because dude, I am just sadistic when I go there.

Edited 2009-08-11 07:27 (UTC)

THEY IS DELICIOUS!

fed the raw dough to Brad as foreplay.

it's inevitable when Brad does his baking in nothing but an apron!

...*shall not to make 'kiss the cock' joke, no no no*

^ jesus, i really miss the edit function.

Why did it go somewhere? I was just using it earlier today!

You can't edit once someone's replied to the comment.

Oh, that bit, yes. Hate that.

And if you're not a paid member, you can't edit at all. I missed it like crazy the last time my paid account expired. I don't know if that's the case, though.

John supposes that in a way it's touching. The fact that when some twink with bright blond hair and a little too much eyeliner gets too close, Ben gets possessive.

Or that when said twink's really rather large leather daddy gets involved, Ben's first thought is to kick somebody's ass.

Except that a) John didn't even WANT to come out tonight and b) he doesn't need Sherman to fight his fights for him.

There's absolutely no call for the violence, but if Ben doesn't like people getting too close to John, John really doesn't like it when they get too close to Ben.

You don't need to be a brain surgeon to know that somebody's going to call the cops, and really, who the hell is going to explain that one? John just happened to be at a gay bar with his rookie partner and they just happened to get into a fight with some blonde cocksucker and his pimp?

John grabs Ben by the scruff of the neck and drags him out of the bar, his fingers poking holes in the collar of Ben's shirt. Outside the club is loud and full of people, and John doesn't let go at all. He just keeps dragging Ben along behind him, ignoring the cat calls about people getting spanked because they've been bad. Ignoring the offers to help discipline his bad boy.

They're 100 yards away and around the corner before John lets go of Ben and shoves him into a darkened doorstep. "If you ever pull shit like that," he begins pinning Ben to the wall, and then he stops talking. Ben's face is sweaty, his chest heaving with exertion. He's got a scratch on his face and what looks like a bruise under his left cheekbone.

John's stomach grumbles and he can feel the anger flaring under his skin. "Are you okay?" he asks, his hand cupping Ben's yaw. The softness in his tone belying his rage.

Ben's jaw is set hard. "Why'd you stop me?" he demands.

John blinks. "Why'd I -- why'd I stop you? Do you want me to arrest you for assault?"

"That asshole had no right to touch you," Ben spits out.

John can feel the laugh starting in his gut, and by the time it emerges from his mouth he's shaking with it. So amused that he has to press his forehead against Ben's cheek. "You are priceless, did I ever tell you that?"

"I could've fucking taken him. Both of them!"

"You could've put them in traction," John admits. "And then gone to jail. You know what they do to cops in jail? Especially the pretty ones?"

Ben's skin is damp, slick. "He touched you," Ben insists doggedly. "He doesn't get to do that."

John presses a kiss to his exposed neck. "I know you're a tough one, Sherman. You don't have to beat people up to prove it."

Ben relaxes just that little bit. "The next time Cesar says we need to get out more, tell him to shut the fuck up."

John opens his mouth. Licks a little of the sweat beading Ben's skin. "You're so into being arrested, why don't I just take you home and cuff to the bed instead. That work for you?"

Ben shudders a little when he sighs. "Yeah, that's -- that would be okay."

"Good," John says. "Because if you keep fighting with the other kids, I'm going to punish you, and it won't involve sex."

Edited 2009-08-11 01:06 (UTC)

It's going to take my brain a long time to recover from that picture.

No edit feature for us ~~plebes~~ basic account holders.

"Is this the moment when I tell you that I lost the keys," Walt asks. He's grinning. Normally, Ray is estatic when Walt is this happy. It usually takes hours of effort on Ray's part. The last time he saw Walt with such a big grin was when Ray had done sock puppet theater for him with a Brad sock and a Nate sock. Walt had been especially impressed with how the Brad sock's eyes seemed to follow you where ever you went. The point being that Ray loves making Walt happy, but even Ray has his limits.

"I think that's supposed to be my line," Ray replies because really if anyone was the handcuffer in this relationship as opposed to the handcuffee, it was Ray.

Walt looks hurt. "You were planning on handcuffing me naked to the bed and then losing the keys? That's not very nice."

Ray glares. Some people thought Walt didn't have a sense of humor. The truth was that Walt's humor was just too twisted for even a Marine. There was fucked up. And then there was Walt. Everyone thought he was such a nice boy, too.

"Take off the handcuffs, Walt," Ray orders.

Walt smiles. "No."

It would be one thing if Walt was using this as opportunity to do incredibly perverted things to Ray while Ray was all helplesss. Ray would be a little cranky about the handcuffs then, but a tongue up his ass and a really nice orgasm would make Ray inclined to forgive Walt.

Walt, however, was just standing there watching him and it was making Ray nervous.

"Do you not understand how this game works?" Ray asks. "You tie me up. I'm all helpless. You shove your dick in my mouth and come all over my face and then blow me. Or there are really any number of options that I would be happy to go into more detail about. The point being that we should be having happy fun kinky sex times now. You're not just supposed to be standing there like a retard with your thumb up your ass. Actually, feel free to put a thumb in your ass. At least I'd have something interesting to watch if I'm stuck here."

"I could gag you too," Walt threatens.

Ray pouts.

"I'll use the Brad sock puppet," Walt add. "I still have it."

"That's fucking sick!" Ray says. He's kind of impressed, though. He decides be quiet might be a good idea.

He lasts for about three seconds.

"Help! Help! I've been handcuffed to my bed by a man who doesn't know what to do with his dick!"

Walt laughs and Ray counts it as a minor victory.

"You have better fucking do something soon or I am taking away your pervert card," Ray says.

"There is no such thing as a pervert card."

"Walt, fuck me now. This is me begging. See what you have reduced me to?"

"Begging usually involves more pleading and less angry shouting, Ray."

"So you're just going to stand there and watch me?" Ray asks.

"You never stay still," Walt says. "I just wanted you to stay still for a little bit."

Ray thinks maybe this is when they're supposed to be having some sort of a moment. And Ray is all about moments. He would fucking hug the shit out of Walt if he could actually use his arms and get off the bed.

"Also," Walt adds, "Brad said he would give me 20 bucks if I'd do it and post the pictures to the internet."

"Walt," Ray says. "You do realize that when I get free from here, you are never going to be able to go to sleep ever again because the second that you do, I'm going to tie you to the bed, spank you, and then fuck you so hard the handcuffs won't even matter because you won't be able to move for days."

"Really?" Walt asks, finally taking a step closer.

"You really are a sick fuck," Ray says.

"Thank you," Walt says and then takes another step.

Ray's legs are not tied down and Walt is almost within range. Ray tries to look innocent. It's not something he's very good at.

"You don't think I know what's going to happen if I take another step?" Walt asks.

"Sex. A whole lot of dirty of sex. And then you'll make be pancakes," Ray says.

"I am not making you pancakes," Walt says, but he takes a step forward anways and Ray kicks out and knocks Walt onto the bed.

Walt lands with his head in Ray's lap. Ray is awesome.

"So..." Walt says. "Nap time now?"

"When I tied you up and fuck you, I'm not going to let you come," Ray threatens.

Walt mouths at Ray's cock and then looks up at him. "Tell me more."

"I think," Rays says as Walt bites at his hip. "I might love you. A lot."

Walt grins in delight and licks Ray's stomach as Ray plots out his future revenge.

"Oh my god, the shrine is unchanged."

Nate bangs the back of head on the underside of his desk in surprise, pencil he was retrieving forgotten. Brad's due home from Pendleton any minute and he's cleaning shit from under his desk. Could he be any more of a fucking girl?

"Fuck!" he says, backing out on his hands and knees to sit on his heels and rub his skull.

Natalie stands in the doorway of Nate's bedroom, hands on her hips and a huge grin on her face. "Do you kiss your boyfriend with that mouth?" she teases.

Nate scowls. "You ever heard of announcing that you were in the room?"

"My presence announces itself," she says, grin wide. "I was too busy staring at your ass. Besides, I can't believe your ex-girlfriend sense didn't go off."

"I don't have an ex-girlfriend sense," Nate says getting to his feet and giving Natalie a hug.

"Oh, that's right," Natalie says, squeezing him tight. "All your senses just shriek 'Brad!'"

Nate pulls back to raise an eyebrow. "I see freshman year of college has made you just as mouthy as ever."

Natalie thumps Nate lightly in the chest as she brushes by him and drops down on his bed. "Ray has made me just as mouthy as ever," she corrects. "You wouldn't believe the vocabulary he's learned in the Corps."

Nate smirks. "Two words: whiskey tango."

Natalie purses her lips. "Two more: cock holster."

Nate blinks. "What?'

"You know exactly what I'm talking about – don't pretend you don’t know what a cock holster is."

"I don't."

"I believe it's the job of choice for people with lips like yours."

Nate's mouth opens but nothing comes out.

Natalie grins, throwing her arms up in a 'V'. "I win!" she crows gleefully.

Edited 2009-08-11 01:44 (UTC)

"Cock holster?" Nate parrots in disbelief.

"Just for you, Nate," she says blowing him an air kiss. "Although, looking around this room, I really am shocked you haven't heard this before."

Nate picks up some errant clothes he hasn't unpacked yet from Dartmouth and flings them at Natalie's head. "Shut up, Wayne."

Natalie snorts, extracting a pair of boxer-briefs from her hair. "Nate, did anybody ever tell you that papering your walls with photos of your boyfriend is kind of gay?"

"These are old photos," he says defensively.

"Gay... gay... gay...," Natalie mocks. "No wonder you never wanted us to have sex at your parents' house."

"This conversation needs to stop right now," a deep voice calls from over Nate's shoulder and every nerve in Nate's body quivers.

He hasn't seen Brad since Thanksgiving. Seven months is a long time. He swallows before turning around. Jesus, it's just not fair the way some people get hotter.

Brad's skin is tanned, burnished without being orange. His hair is short, but not unappealing. The smile though, the way it's broad and wide open, it pierces Nate right at the heart.

He reaches out and yanks Brad to him hard, doesn't kiss him as much as he attacks with his mouth. Brad's hand cup his cheeks, holding him still while Brad sucks on his tongue and every fibre of Nate's soul screams, "We need to have sex now!"

"I could so sell tickets to this to half of my class at Berkeley," Natalie pipes up from behind them.

Brad pulls away, his mouth slick. Nate watches him lick his lips. "Don’t you have somewhere else to be?" Brad says evenly. Nate blinks at him. He can't remember the last time Brad was civil to Nat.

"Jesus," Natalie appears at the corner of Nate's eye. "You must've really put it on him if he's being nice to me," she mocks.

Nate can feel it when Brad grumbles in his chest and he shakes his head, waving his ex off. "Go away. Go bother your whiskey tango reject and leave us alone."

"I'm just saying," Natalie calls on her way out. "Cock holster, Nate."

"Do you not understand how this game works?" Ray asks. "You tie me up. I'm all helpless. You shove your dick in my mouth and come all over my face and then blow me. Or there are really any number of options that I would be happy to go into more detail about. The point being that we should be having happy fun kinky sex times now. You're not just supposed to be standing there like a retard with your thumb up your ass. Actually, feel free to put a thumb in your ass. At least I'd have something interesting to watch if I'm stuck here."

COMEDY GOLD! It's like Walt didn't get the memo about his TPS Report.

"Help! Help! I've been handcuffed to my bed by a man who doesn't know what to do with his dick!".

And this is what you call the cops for. Ben and John would LOVE this call.

Ilu so hard. I even wrote more Southland and some Gs-verse. I will ponder Nate and Assassin!Brad when I get home.

Wait? What!!!

Natalie purses her lips. "Two more: cock holster."
Nice! You get bonus points for that.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalt! ♥ How are they so fucked up yet completely precious at the same time??? LOVE!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THey just make me so happy it's a little embarrassing.

HOW IS HE SO FUCKING PRECIOUS? GOD! IT SHOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW!

I reckon only the three of you will get that, but it cracked me up to no end.

Wow!!!!!!!! I love you so much!

Why do people keep on breaking me today? And why do I think something like this often happens when these two try and go out.

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War, Southland and comment-fic, oh my!

Re: because we are equal opportunity, the LT gets some love

Re: REPOSTING

Re: because we are equal opportunity, the LT gets some love

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Re: :)

Re: because we are equal opportunity, the LT gets some love

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Dude, I am cutting you off from the sugar - PART 1

Part II

Cock Holster Part I (GS-verse)

Cock Holster Part II (GS-verse)

Re: Dude, I am cutting you off from the sugar - PART 1

Re: Part II

Re: because we are equal opportunity, the LT gets some love

Re: Cock Holster Part I (GS-verse)

Re: Part II

Re: Cock Holster Part II (GS-verse)

Re: because we are equal opportunity, the LT gets some love

Re: Cock Holster Part I (GS-verse)

Re: :)