As an english person I'm sorry. Entire country is watching them with a sceptical expression on our faces and the sports radio, Radio 5 Live, actually produced a parody of Bad Romance detailing all our shortcomings entitled 'At Least We're Not France'. But they've pulled their socks up in the last match so they're okay now. Ish.
welll.... good players don't have to be tall. Half the Brazilians and Argentinians aren't. The North Europeans just tend to breed big and train for speed and bulk due to how we play the game (watching our side against the Algerians was scary. Giants vs little green people!) and being too tall is a disadvantage in most cases, reserved for goalies and Peter Crouch, freakish good-humoured stick insect that he is. Defoe is only about 5'6 or so.
I would also like to apologise on behalf of my country for Rooney and his ability to drag our droolworthy average down. his nickname is Shrek, but we feel that Shrek is better looking. But on the other hand, I can proudly offer up both Coles, Milner, Gerrard and Lampard to combat his ugly. also our useful goalie, James. (one of the few who's consistently earning his keep)
I'm wondering at the moment if we're going to be able to get through an England game without commentary about Terry trying to fuck everything in sight or Ashley Cole shagging everything but his spectacularly gorgeous now split-from wife. Seriously, every time either of them get near another player someone in the audience will come out with a line about this.
also, we are all in favour of shorts getting as short as they did back in the early 90s, when they were practically hotpants.
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welll.... good players don't have to be tall. Half the Brazilians and Argentinians aren't. The North Europeans just tend to breed big and train for speed and bulk due to how we play the game (watching our side against the Algerians was scary. Giants vs little green people!) and being too tall is a disadvantage in most cases, reserved for goalies and Peter Crouch, freakish good-humoured stick insect that he is. Defoe is only about 5'6 or so.
I would also like to apologise on behalf of my country for Rooney and his ability to drag our droolworthy average down. his nickname is Shrek, but we feel that Shrek is better looking. But on the other hand, I can proudly offer up both Coles, Milner, Gerrard and Lampard to combat his ugly. also our useful goalie, James. (one of the few who's consistently earning his keep)
I'm wondering at the moment if we're going to be able to get through an England game without commentary about Terry trying to fuck everything in sight or Ashley Cole shagging everything but his spectacularly gorgeous now split-from wife. Seriously, every time either of them get near another player someone in the audience will come out with a line about this.
also, we are all in favour of shorts getting as short as they did back in the early 90s, when they were practically hotpants.