hackthis_archive ([personal profile] hackthis_archive) wrote2004-01-12 11:18 am

It's my right to be contrary!

I’ve been sick for four days.

Did I mention that I am the world’s crankiest sick person? I'm running around cursing just because. When [livejournal.com profile] ethrosdemon asked what she could do to make it better I asked her to kill fictional characters for me. Or do something snarky. A fictional character being snarky about their own death would be better than chocolate - which I cannot have right now.

Other things I have decided in my 72 hours of cabin fever:

1. Jet, the 80’s band which sang ‘I’ve Got a Crush on You’ is vastly preferable to Jet, singers of ‘Are You Gonna Be My Girl’ even though I do like the latter. (Mad props to [livejournal.com profile] serialkarma)

2. If I eat another bowl of chicken soup/chicken broth/chicken anything, I will lay an egg.

3. I don’t really like Messiah Complex Protagonists. I don’t like Superman. Or Clark Kent. Or Harry Potter. This does not stop me reading or writing about them, but it does stop me from empathizing with them. It stops me from appreciating them the way I do characters I can empathaize with, like say, Lex or Faith or Neville. I think you should save the world because you think it's worth saving and you want to, not because someone says you have to. I hate it when people pull that obligation shit. ETN: This is not some gauntlet I'm throwing down to player-hate on Superman. This is not some Smallville-esque ode to Clark's characterization either; I've never been into Superman. I've always preferred Batman to Supes and Plastic Man to both. I'm more Everyman than Ubermensch.

4. I like accidental heroes. Like Neville. And Plastic Man.

5. I don’t like the Justice League cartoon. This has no bearing on my massive collection of JLA comic books (issue #92 in stands now), because as I said in #3, I heart Plastic Man. But I highly doubt that the Cartoon Network is going to put the deadbeat father who’s, gasp, not model material, at their animated table. Their loss.

6. MS Words sucks ass.

7. If I don't get out the house soon there's going to be an accident.

[identity profile] meret.livejournal.com 2004-01-12 11:25 am (UTC)(link)
You might enjoy my latest manip if you haven't seen it.

http://www.meret.illuminatedtext.com/clarkbound.jpg

I hope you feel better. *hugs*

[identity profile] tigress35.livejournal.com 2004-01-12 12:40 pm (UTC)(link)
You crack me up. #2 just made me laugh for like, 2 minutes.

And word on #5 and 6.

[identity profile] shoewhore.livejournal.com 2004-01-12 01:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I had a Plastic Man action figure when I was a kid. But, once you pulled on his arms and/or legs TOO much, he wouldn't quite snap back to his original form. In the end, he looked like he'd been put into some strange torture device a la Braveheart and pulled like taffy... All the while, the bastard still had his painted on smile tacked to his face. Heh.

Sorry you got the sicks, yo. But, I bet you'll be feeling better when it's time to go a stalking The 'Mez.

Hmm. Death and snark. Kind of.

[identity profile] serialkarma.livejournal.com 2004-01-12 01:21 pm (UTC)(link)
"Well, Potter, when I said I wanted you to get squished like a small furry rodent, I have to admit, this is not exactly how I imagined it happening," Draco said, his neck craned at an uncomfortable angle as he watched as the sun was blotted out above his head.

"Well, Malfoy, I have to say, when I said I hoped you'd end up ground into little tiny pieces someday, I was kind of hoping I'd get a chance to do it myself. I didn't really mean this, though. Wish I knew what went wrong." Harry didn't bother looking up. He was busy closely inspecting his wand, as though if he looked hard enough a little flag would pop out of the end with a sign that read "Ha Ha! Fooled you!"

"You're an incompetent wizard, Potter you git, that's what went wrong. My only comfort is knowing that you've screwed yourself over as well as me. Also, I find it tremendously amusing that Voldemort will have won the war by forfeit, as it were." There was a great whooshing sound now and Draco's hair flew around his head as he spoke. He still hadn't bothered to actually look at Harry.

"Yeah," said Harry glumly. "Bit embarrassing, that, really. You know, Malfoy--"

But whatever Harry would have told him was cut off, forever, as the hawk swooped down over the tiny, shrunken figures in the grass, snatched them up, swallowed them both down and went on in search of more substantial prey. It was kind of hoping for a fat chipmunk. These little hairless creatures were too crunchy.

[identity profile] staraflur.livejournal.com 2004-01-12 02:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Jet of Are you gonna be my girl are remarkably terrible. And stuck up, which makes them worse.

[identity profile] redfirecracker.livejournal.com 2004-01-12 02:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Bummer about being sick. Hope you feel better soon!

Personally, I'm wishing for about a month of snow days, but I don't think it's going to happen any time soon. *pouts*

(Anonymous) 2004-01-12 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I never post other than to comment on how great your fic is, but your reluxtant hero rant made me curious.

Do you not like Buffy? I got the impression from your work that you might be a fan, but she definitely fits in the 'save the world because you have to' category. That's part of the reason why I didn't love the finale, I didn't understand how spreading the power around let Buffy off of the moral obligation hook.