Is being pretty really all that?

[hackthis_archive]

I’m over here shifting through Jude Law photographs for Draco icons, and I remembered a conversation that I had with somebody last week (possibly in RL, possibly with serialkarma or ethrosdemon) and now I must inquire what other people think. The gist of the conversation had to do with Boys vs. Men vs. The Others, i.e. Beautiful Men and who really comes out on top.

Now, we all know what Boys are. We date ‘boys.’ We think boys are cute. We refer to them as The Boy. Ryan Gosling is a boy. Dom Monaghan is a boy. We all love boys. They are adorable. They wear Chuck Taylors and cute second-hand shirts. They belch, and we just roll our eyes. They have beer nights with *their* boys and we just smirk, because they are boys, and we expect this, because boys are not *men*. Men are another species altogether.

Men sometimes have facial hair. They generally own more than one suit, and it’s a good suit, too! A fair amount own property. They can cook more than one meal without burning it. Men have deeper voices, and they exude testosterone. “Men” tend to make your ovaries act funny. George Clooney is a man. Johnny Depp is a man. Brad Pitt in all his 40-year-old glory is a man. Men are good. Boys are good. People take them seriously to the best of their ability, but what happens when you come to those with the XY chromosomes who don’t quite fit the mould? I speak, naturally, of Beautiful Men.

I generally stick Beautiful Men in the “Other” category, because they are not quite men, but they’re not quite boys either. They are a category unto themselves. Whereas Men make your ovaries hurt, Beautiful Men give you cramps. You walk into walls. You forget how to speak. Beautiful Men tend to make women, and other men, act kind of stupid. You forgive the belching and scratching and other pet peeves. BM’s make us all a little messy, and they tend to bring down the average IQ in every room they enter. Jude Law is a beautiful man. Tom Welling may not be Einstein, but when he smiles, people do not fucking care. He is a beautiful man. And yet, in a society where everybody wants to be flawless and thin and *perfect* (whatever the hell that is), is it really better to be an “Other?”

I suspect it must be a bit harder to be taken seriously if you’re a Beautiful Man, because who really cares what you have to say? You look good; people don’t want to hear your thoughts on global warming! So, is it better to be beautiful, but not preternaturally so? Can life really be hard when you look like Jude Law? In an recent Details interview, he talked about 2003 being the worst year of his life. He split with his wife, their divorce was all over the rags, and then he had to explain it all to his children. This cannot have been easy by any account, but it makes you wonder -- people have to go through this same thing everyday, so it’s not like he’s the first person to have a messy divorce. And yet, do you think people have more sympathy for him because he’s good looking or less? Why? Do we always feel this way about people we consider to be more attractive than normal? Why? Is it jealousy? Conditioning? I understand the scientific explanations about feature placement and the way that humans tend to desire symmetry, etc, but I really do have to ask, do people think that life is better for the pretty people just because they can get in a club easier or a few free drinks?

Do you guys think being attractive all it’s cracked up to be? And who would you rather have? A Man, a Boy or an Other?

*Who knew Jude Law could make anybody think so hard!

[Poll #239134]

Comments

[romanticalgirl.livejournal.com]

I don't think we tend to feel more sympathy for beautiful people/men, but less, because we figure they must suffer in some way. We have to suffer and be ordinary, the least they can do is suffer gloriously gorgeously for our benefit. The press and media do their best to make them "poor, little, rich people" and, while they do have their problems, I think much of their problems are fostered by the lifestyles they chose. Perhaps cynical, but also logical. Some don't chose the life (royalty, for example) but they do have a choice in how they adapt and live in it.

As for personally, I like a man who can be a boy. Most of my friends are boys and boys, sadly, tend not to grow up so much. They pick a lifestyle that works for them and, unless they chose to become a man, they are content with it. Men have the luxury of being boys when they want to be. Men, however, have far more power to hurt you than boys do. But they're usually worth it all far more in the long run.

Unless, of course, you're just looking for sex, in which case, you want a pretty boy. Mmmmmm.

[lyra-sena.livejournal.com]

Unless, of course, you're just looking for sex, in which case, you want a pretty boy. Mmmmmm.


ooohh, you know what? While yes, having sex with a pretty boy might be good for you if you're taping to watch later, *wink*, in my experience, sex is SO MUCH BETTER with boys/men who are average looking. Why? Because pretty boys don't have to *work* at getting someone to go to bed with them. Girls will just fall into their beds simply because they are pretty. Thus, they either a) lack sufficient knowledge as to how to really *please* a woman and/or b) just simply know that it doesn't matter if they aren't any good...they *think* they are good because they get so many partners, and hell, what woman is going to complain after she's just had sex with a Beautiful Other? *laughs* An average looking guy? Has to work for it. He has to know what he's doing and do it *well*. He makes damned sure to please you, so you'll keep coming back for more.

whoa. didn't mean to ramble on there. Back to Zahra's regularly scheduled program. Also, damn, all this talk about sex has me horny...

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I don't think we tend to feel more sympathy for beautiful people/men, but less, because we figure they must suffer in some way. We have to suffer and be ordinary, the least they can do is suffer gloriously gorgeously for our benefit. The press and media do their best to make them "poor, little, rich people" and, while they do have their problems, I think much of their problems are fostered by the lifestyles they chose. Perhaps cynical, but also logical. Some don't chose the life (royalty, for example) but they do have a choice in how they adapt and live in it.

I don't agree with all of that, but I agree with enough of it. I mean the entertainment industry by defintion is about entertaining *other* people, which really forces you to be out in the spotlight, and if you don't want to be in everyone's faces then why would you choose it? And yet, by that same degree, I think that everyone should be entitled to a little privacy, which really doesn't tend to exist as it should. If you continually put yourself out there, then no, I will have no sympathy, but otherwise I can have some. Just a little.

Also, sex with pretty boys is not bad, but I distinctly remember making a point about this to somebody else, and I quote: "I don't like pretty people. [They're] Nice to look at, generally, nice to fuck - if they're not too busy asking about their best side, but I prefer people with character. Pretty people, inevitably, bore the shit out of me."

So, yeah, that's my .02.

[romanticalgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do agree that they deserve a private life, and it's not fair that they don't have one, but by the same token, they mostly choose the life they live, knowing that's one of the conditions of it. I feel bad for the kids involved (in Law's case, for example), because they *don't* choose it, it was chosen for them, but it is all part and parcel of celebrity-dom.

I also agree with much of what you say on the Pretty People. However, very rarely to any of us think/say our fantasies are "Oooh, I wish I could fuck [Average Actor Guy] rather than Jude Law" or what have you. Admittedly, there are exceptions, and I think male-wise, our society is opening up more to the "underdog" (say, Pacey on Dawson's Creek or Seth on The OC), if you will. Not traditionally Pretty, but appealing enough in their Boyish/Man-ishness to overcome our society's tendency to prize beauty above all else.