Trade cookie - Doing Your Part

[hackthis_archive]

Written spur of the moment for circe_tigana. Trade-verse. Based on the e-mail which the lady in question sent me regarding this brilliant bit of pop political programming. Un-betad.

TRADE

Doing Your Part



Draco never understood Blaise's fascination with the telly. It was all well and good for watching football, of course, but to just sit down for hours and watch Big Brother or Emmerdale or The Bill or What Not to Wear -- well, they tended to watch that one together, if only for the appalling state of today's woman. Nevertheless, all that vapid, imported American programming on Sky didn't turn Draco's crank – Oz and Sex and the City not withstanding.

Blaise, however, would watch anything: Trisha Goddard, Question Time, bad soft-core on Five. He was like an enormous sponge for bad television. Most programming had a soporific effect on Draco though, except for Coronation Street, so he could hardly be blamed for falling asleep in front of the television, with his head in Blaise's lap.

Not that Draco's head started off there originally; they were hardly that demonstrative. The pillows were too hard for some reason, and Draco's face kept sticking to the leather sofa, but Blaise's jean-clad leg felt just right.

Obviously it helped that Blaise's fingers were carding through Draco's hair and rubbing his scalp. All that was missing was the heated oil for a massage, and so, Draco had been powerless to resist the lull of sleep. He'd nodded off to strange dreams of Damon Albarn as the Mayor of London and Liam Gallagher storming Whitehall in protest. He'd then woken up just as Sophie Ellis-Bextor was giving a speech outside the Joseph's in Knightsbridge.

It took him several moments to get his bearings, because Blaise's fingers were no longer in his hair and Blaise's leg wasn't underneath his head.

As if that weren't enough, Thom Yorke's nasally public school voice was the first thing to greet his ears, and Draco rolled right off the sofa.

The floor hurt. And apparently, it needed to be cleaned.

Draco protested quite vehemently when Blaise didn't materialize by his side immediately to see what the commotion was, but all Draco got for his efforts was a hissed 'shhhhh.' He glowered at the back of Blaise's touselled head, which was blocking the vast majority of Draco's television set.

"What're you watching?" Draco asked, attempting to sound put-out but only managing an enormous yawn. Pushing himself up, he craned his neck to see around Blaise's torso.

"Nothing you'd fancy," Blaise said dismissively. His tone was flat and bland, and he didn't even turn his head to look at Draco's spectacular sprawl. Instantly, Draco was suspicious.

Thom Yorke was droning on and on in the back of Draco's subconscious as he debated getting up and walking the three steps to where Blaise sat or crawling over on his hands and knees.

The crawling won out as Draco couldn't be arsed to stand, and he sat back on his haunches behind Blaise, using Blaise's tee shirt to pull him back against his chest. "What is your endless fascination with the telly?" he drawled lazily in Blaise's right ear.

He wasn't attempting to seduce Blaise. He didn't have to attempt -– Blaise was his. Full stop. Except that Thom Yorke was still talking, and Blaise wasn't leaning into Draco's mouth, which was brushing against the shell of Blaise's ear.

And then Draco's eyes drifted upwards. "Why is that fucking tosser on the television?" His tone aimed for bored and wound up between offended and aggrieved.

"He's talking about the environment," Blaise said distractedly. "And I'm trying to listen in, but someone won't shut his gob."

"No one cares what he has to say about the environment!" Draco protested. "He's a fucking rock star! It's like giving a toss about Chris Martin and his Fair Trade lark –- it's just listening to a bunch of self-important wankers have a wank."

Blaise's eyes glittered in the light from the television, and his teeth seemed eerily blue as he finally looked over at Draco. "And you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Draco scowled. "Don’t insult the man who fucks you."

Blaise's disapproving look spoke volumes. "Some people want save the planet."

Draco rolled his eyes so hard, his head hurt. "Don't give me any of that Tree Hugger bollocks, Blaise Zabini. You drive a fucking BMW. You're only pretending for that wonky-eyed pasty bastard. You wouldn't give a toss about the environment if it meant you had to drive a different car."

Blaise pursed his lips under Draco's authoritative tone, but snickered when Draco poked him in the ribs. "I'm trying to do my part to help," Blaise said, attempting to keep the amusement out of his voice.

Draco snickered. "You want to help the environment? Turn off that insipid twat and come back to the sofa so I can give you a blow job."

Blaise had the gall to actually look contemplative for a moment. "Well, we all have to do our parts," he said thoughtfully.

"Of course," Draco said condescendingly. "Never let it be said that Draco Malfoy never did his part."



-end-

For your listening pleasure, I present one of my favourite Radiohead songs ever: The Trickster




Okay, I have to go write some Star Wars RPS for my girl now.

Comments

[circe-tigana.livejournal.com]

I will never tire of Draco's Thom Yorke hate. Never. Ever.

Thank you, my darling! You are FAR too good to me, and I <3333 you for it. Though Blaise just connived himself a blow job, which goes to prove that he's far too Slytherin for either of us ;)

[circe-tigana.livejournal.com]

Also, YAY TRICKSTER :)

[mereol.livejournal.com]

...not to mention that he essentially got draco to BEG to give it...

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Though Blaise just connived himself a blow job, which goes to prove that he's far too Slytherin for either of us ;)

You know it and I know it and Blaise knows it, but don't tell Draco. It'll make him irritable.

[circe-tigana.livejournal.com]

hee ♥

[fivil.livejournal.com]

What Circe said. There's just something really adorable about Draco's Thom York hate. And thus this was lovely. :]

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I think irrational hatred and jealous can sometimes be endearing. In a very twisted and dysfunctional way of course, but nobody's perfect.

[pocketroxy.livejournal.com]

Yay, more Tradeverse fic! (Does a little dance) Your Draco and blaise are just great together.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)

[ravurian]

Oh, heh. I'd like to say more, but I decided to stick with the heh. Because it's eminently heh-worthy. Trade cookies. Yeah. Ooh. If only you could be bribed.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Your icon is so distracting. Seriously. Damn.

[fatema.livejournal.com]

Hee! Trade-verse is SO cool. *g*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)

[ugaprincess06.livejournal.com]

Very nice cookie. Thouroughly enjoyable and I liked the semi-political nature of it, Blaise reminds me of most people when it comes to the environment, they want to help but god forbid they have to give up their fast car. Insightful and delightful.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Blaise reminds me of most people when it comes to the environment, they want to help but god forbid they have to give up their fast car.

That really is the size of it. People don't mind helping as long as it's not inconvenient. Not to cast stones and all as I admit freely to being in that category too.

[aimeelicious]

I'm so happy Trade lives on!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Trade shall never die, it'll probably just go on an extended holiday.

[elzed.livejournal.com]

"Never let it be said that Draco Malfoy never did his part."

Indeed. And thank you for another snippet of pouty, arrogant, irresistible Draco.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Er, linkage cut-taggy weirdness above!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Like what? Everything worked for me.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

All three links go to the memories page for Trade--you can't get to this cookie or the other link unless you click on the "comments" link and then come in from here. And the entire cookie is a link back to the memories page.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I checked, using the cut-tag, and then had someone else check. It seems to be working fine; I don't know what to tell you.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Strange! Well, I can read it, so, no biggie. *goes to read*

[wildestranger.livejournal.com]

Too much is not enough. They play each other so well. Love this.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

They do play well, don't they? In that sort of 'destroy the rest of the world for our amusement' way ;)

[kismeteve.livejournal.com]

Draco snickered. "You want to help the environment? Turn off that insipid twat and come back to the sofa so I can give you a blow job."

Blaise had the gall to actually look contemplative for a moment. "Well, we all have to do our parts," he said thoughtfully.

"Of course," Draco said condescendingly. "Never let it be said that Draco Malfoy never did his part."

Look at all those sacrifices poor Draco must make. Dear boy deserves a medal. ;)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'm sure he would agree with you :)

[jarsy.livejournal.com]

"He's a fucking rock star! It's like giving a toss about Chris Martin and his Fair Trade lark –- it's just listening to a bunch of self-important wankers have a wank."

Bwahahhaha! Draco speaks for us all, I think.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*g*

[literaryll.livejournal.com]

You wrote more Trade!!! *does happy dance*

I was going to try and save this to read for when the quarter is over as like motivation to get all my homework done but yeah I have no self-discipline whatsoever and this was too tempting.

The idea of Blaise loving T.V. makes me smile plus Draco likes Sex and the city LOL

Not that Draco's head started off there originally; they were hardly that demonstrative - sure I believe you Draco

Thom Yorke's nasally public school voice - I've only heard 3 seconds of Thom Yorke's speaking voice but it sounded sexy to me lol

Draco fell off the couch - you just made me snort with that LOL - god your Draco I can't even . . . and I better not even start but *adores so much*

And then Blaise told him to shhhhhhh and he's ignoring him and trying to act like what he's watching wouldn't matter to Draco at all - so so cute <3 <3

"And you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" - man fandom is some kind of weird emotion enhancer cause a sentence shouldn't be making me this giddy :D :D :D

I wish I could think of some way to get you to write more cookies. *waves bright shiny object in front of your face and says in flat monotone voice "You will write more Trade bits"*

Thanks for the Radiohead song - never heard of it before.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

yeah I have no self-discipline whatsoever and this was too tempting.

*raises hand*

I know exactly what you mean. As for the terrible twosome, they are very endearing in a prickly sort of way. I know I'm not supposed to say that, but it's true.

p.s. I hope you like the Radiohead song, it's an old song, a B-side from The Bends, but it's one of my favourites ever.

[literaryll.livejournal.com]

The Bends has been one of my fav albums for a while now but I hadn't actually listened to that much else by Radiohead and ever since you put up those songs by them that I hadn't heard I've been wanting to listen to them all the time! I'm going to have to buy Kid A, I can feel it. Anyways yeah I really like Trickster so thanks again for sharing it :D

[willysunny.livejournal.com]

Dude. Fabulous. Also, what Circe said. What just about everyone said about Draco's adorable hatred for Thom Yorke. Also, Blaise's addiction to the television is equally adorable. I have this whole other image of him now, sitting and staring for hours in fashionably tight jeans and a worn tee -- which, to tell the truth, is quite the tempting image. Go Draco!

And now I'm off to download The Trickster. Thank you.