hackthis_archive ([personal profile] hackthis_archive) wrote2007-02-20 11:45 am
Entry tags:

FNL - I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass

I could have some real Heroes thoughts, but I don't. I'll just be over there rubbing my hands gleefully and practicing my Jesus Arms. Also, check out the gorgeous cover art [livejournal.com profile] ravurian made for Twentysomething.

This story has been on the backburner for entirely too long, my apologies.

Friday Night Lights
Landry, Tim, Herc, Jason
General spoilers. Rated PG-13
Dedicated to [livejournal.com profile] antheia and [livejournal.com profile] azewewish for cheerleading.


I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass




They're halfway through the doorway of the record store when Tim turns back around and nearly runs Landry over in his haste to get away. Landry's so not expecting this that he almost ends up on his ass, and it's only because he grabs at Tim's shirt that he doesn't eat pavement.

There a rip of threadbare cotton as Landry stumbles backward, and Landry's mouth makes a little 'o' when he realizes he's holding some of the hem of Tim's tee shirt in his right hand.

"What the hell, Riggins?" he squawks, because, well, really, what the hell? Plus, he kind of needs to distract Tim from the whole destruction of his limited wardrobe. Guys like Tim have one look and they work it to death -– at least Landry would if he had biceps like Riggins.

"We're not goin' to the store today," Tim says curtly. His eyes are huge, and he looks like he's seen his parole officer, or possibly Mrs. Taylor with an English test under her arm.

Landry makes a scoffing noise. "The hell we're not -- it's my sworn duty to save you from yourself," he declares letting the bit of Tim's shirt slip between his fingers and onto the ground.

"Don't think I won't beat your ass," Tim warns. "I told you were not goin' in the store."

"Oooh, I'm real scared there, Riggins," Landry scoffs. There's a part of him that actually is pretty damn scared, because Tim's face is tight and his jaw set, but this is a public place. Landry knows Tim isn't that stupid, which is why he pushes Tim back through the doorway.

"I'm here to save you from yourself," Landry says, using his shoulder to propel Tim further so he can get inside the store too. "I know the first step is the scariest, but once I burn all that Waylon Jennings, you'll feel much better."

Tim digs in his heels, and Landry stumbles a bit. "You burn my Waylon, and I'll burn you, Clarke."

"You'll thank me for this later," Landry insists, still unable to understand Tim's sudden reticence as the door closes behind them. "Especially when your ears stop bleedin' and you lose the urge to shoot at empty beer bottles and lame dogs in the street."

The inside of the record store is slightly warmer than the weather outside, and Landry can feel the blood rushing back to the surface of his skin as they stand by the door. Or it could just be his excitement over being close to so much potential.

The fact of the matter is that Tim has shitty taste in music. It's all twangy country, and Texas pride, and people complaining about how their woman took their dog and their last shirt and they're all out of moonshine.

That's so passé.

Just because Tim's a dumb jock doesn't mean he has to listen to the music of dumb jocks. Of course when Landry said this he was also in a moving car and driving away from Tim's house.

"You're gonna read to me for the next twenty years of your life," Tim grumbles low in his throat, brushing his hair even further into his eyes which Landry didn't think was possible.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Landry says dismissively, scanning the store for any hot pieces of ass that might need his musical assistance. "Now go pick out something that doesn't start or end with the words Texas, and we'll take it from there. How about some Willie Nelson?"

Tim gives him a seriously evil eye before stalking off past where Landry's pointing, and that's when Landry's eyes finally land on Jason Street, intently flipping through CDs at the end of the L-N row.

If Landry didn't know any better he'd say that Street was looking in the Nirvana area, but that's just stupid. Quarterbacks don't know about grunge -- grungy, sure -- grunge, not even. "Huh," he says to himself, watching the way Riggins is very much not looking at Street.

Jason Street wouldn't know Landry from a hole in the wall, even though Landry's the best friend of the new QB1, but Landry's pretty sure Street's seen Tim. Hell, it's kinda hard not to see Tim, not with that hair and that slinky walk and the way he, uh, -- yeah anyway.

Street looks really tense, and when Landry gives him a second glance it's less like Street is looking at the CDs and more like he's just pretending to look through them.

Oh.

Well, that explains a lot.

Landry figures having an ex-best friend is like having an ex-girlfriend. Not that Landry's ever had an ex-girlfriend. He's never had a girlfriend, so it goes without saying that he's never had an ex-girlfriend either.

There was Celia in sixth grade, but she wasn't really his girlfriend, she just let him carry her books home from school one day, and when he wouldn't shut up about the color of her hair -- it was like cornsilk lying in the sun -- she grabbed her books back and told him to get lost. She said he talked too much and looked like he'd been living in his family's basement.

That had hurt -- but she moved away a year later, and he reckons that by now she's probably knocked up and living in a trailer park, ruing the day she was so mean to Landry Clarke. Not that Landry's bitter -- that was four years ago and at least he had Matt to help him get over it.

Landry doesn't know what he'd do if he completely lost Matt -- it's hard enough just sharing him with Julie Taylor.

If Matt told Landry he didn't want to see him anymore, Landry would probably go all emo and dye his hair black and stand outside Matt's house playing Crucifixtorious and Conor Oberst songs. Or he might start listening to really bad country about how his wife took his dog and slashed the tires on his tractor.

Suddenly Landry is a lot more sympathetic to Tim's plight.

"You better keep your boy on a leash," a voice announces on Landry's right, and Landry glances around before looking down. There's a scrappy looking guy in a wheelchair with a shaved head giving Landry the glare of I Will Kick Your Ass.

Landry would like to think that nobody in a wheelchair could kick his ass, but he heard about what Street did to Tim, so he should probably just smile. "Hey, man, I don't know what you're talkin' about," Landry says as genially as he can. "I was just standin' over here looking at the music."

Landry grabs the first CD he can get his hands on and waves it at the guy.

"Christina Aguilera?" the guy says. "I'd bone her, but shit, don't tell me you listen to her bitchin' and moanin'."

Landry drops the CD like it's toxic. "No! I don't -- I mean," he bends down to pick up the CD at the disapproving look from the checkout clerk and puts it back in its place. "Hell no -- okay, back when she wanted to be a stripper it was kinda hot, and you know, dirrrrrrrtay, but--"

"Simmer down, junior," the man says, "you were probably still in grade school when she was talking about being dirty."

"I was not!" Landry snaps hotly.

The man snorts. "Right, Carrot top."

Landry's hands immediately go to his hair. "I don't have to stand for this sort of ignominy," Landry protests.

"But at least you can stand," the guy retorts, and Landry's hands fall to his sides. The man snorts again, and he offers Landry his hand. "Herc."

Landry shakes by rote. "Landry Clarke, musician extraordinaire and country music sufferer."

Herc smirks. "Countin' the days 'til you can get out of this backwater, huh?"

"You know it," Landry confesses, keeping an eye on the way that Riggins is gravitating closer and closer to where Jason Street is resolutely not looking at Nirvana CDs. When Tim's less than five feet away, Street suddenly rolls halfway down the aisle and away from him.

"Damn," Landry says. He feels kind of bad for Tim.

Herc snorts next to him. "Like two girls."

"I was thinking more like exes myself," Landry confesses.

Herc laughs. "Don't say that too -- oh, what the hell is he doin' in the Limp Bizkit section? Street!" Landry winces when Herc yells with rather impressive projection. "Get away from that garbage, man! You ain't ridin' in my truck with that shit!"

Street glances up, flips them the bird and then goes back to his exploring.

Herc gives Landry a look of long-suffering. "Damn, you can't teach some people nothin'."

Landry shrugs. "I wasn't gonna say anything, but you know, Limp Bizkit -- that's just -- that's sad. Freud would have a field day on that one."

"Street wasn't the one who went around porkin' the cheerleader when his best friend was in the hospital with a rod in his back," Herc scowls.

"Did I say he was?" Landry protests.

Tim's making another approach, hovering by the M's. Metallica. Megadeath. Meatloaf. Madonna. Kylie Minogue.

Oh, please don't let it be Madonna. Landry will sing all of the words to Kylie's 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' over the pubic assembly system on Monday morning before he'll let Riggins buy a Madonna CD.

Landry wishes he could holler at Tim like Herc hollers at Jason, but he's not really looking to have his face rearranged today. Instead he just crosses his fingers and watches as Tim gets the cold shoulder from Street yet again.

"Okay, so he slept with the cheerleader," Landry agrees, "but you know, he's sorry. Look at his face. Look at his hair -- of course he's sorry."

Herc snorts. "Yeah, that is some sorry hair. Does he even wash it?"

Landry twists his mouth. "Theoretically, yes -– personally, I don't think he's washed it since they broke up."

Herc glances up at Landry quizzically. "Who? Your boy and the cheerleader?"

Landry shakes his head. "Nah, I mean Tim and Street."

At this Herc laughs like Landry just told the best joke ever

Tim's trying to talk to Street again, and Street's looking anywhere but at Tim. When Jason looks over at where Landry's standing next to Herc he has this glimmer of desperation that Landry really feels bad about -- but Riggins is trying.

When Street suddenly wheels on Tim, Landry snaps to attention. He's a lover, not a fighter, but this is just sad. Riggins' hair is in his face and the entire store –- the four of them and the clerk -- see Riggins hands reach out before he shoves them in the pockets of his jacket.

Herc lets out a low whistle under his breath. "I feel like I'm trapped in the worst chick flick ever," he grumbles, "and I ain't even gonna get laid for all my suffering."

"Amen, brother," Landry says, leaning forward at bit when Riggins crouches down to be at Street's eye level.

"Five bucks says Street decks him," Herc announces.

Landry scoffs. "Suckers bet. No way."

Whatever conversation Riggins and Street are having is pretty damn intense, but Landry exhales a huge breath when Tim smiles.

"Well, thank Christ for that," Herc says, voicing Landry's sentiment perfectly. "I admit I was hoping the quarterback was gonna kick some ass –- but dealin' with moody teenagers ain't really my forte. Sorry about your man though."

"I don't really think he's my man," Landry corrects.

Street's covers his mouth with the back of his hand -- he and Tim are clearly having some sort of private moment in public -- and Landry and Herc exchange raised eyebrows. "Yeah, well, not anymore he's not." Herc agrees.

"That's all right," Landry concedes with a grin, "Riggins is too emo for me anyway."

"Aw, now there's some fucking awful music," Herc bitches.

"I know exactly what you mean," Landry says, "that's why my band plays death metal. Christian death metal."

Herc gapes for a moment. "Clarke, I dunno who's more disturbing right now, Romeo and Romeo over there or you and your death metal. Shit, my ass needs a drink -- you want one?"

It's on the tip of Landry's tongue to argue, but people don't offer him drinks everyday. "You mean like a real drink?"

"As long as you're weaned from your mama's tits," Herc snarks, rolling away from Landry and towards the front door.

"When you girls are done," Herc hollers to Jason and Tim, "I'll be getting the underage kid drunk at the bar."

Landry waves sheepishly as he follows Herc out the door. He didn't quite accomplish what he set out to today by converting Tim musically -- but if the smile Riggins shoots at him before looking back at Jason Street is anything to go by, Landry's helped do something a hell of a lot better.


-end-

Title from the album by Yo La Tengo.

[identity profile] killabeez.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 07:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Why, why can this not happen on the show, exactly like this? Sigh. That was just awesomeness. Thank you so much.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
You are so very welcome :)

[identity profile] veradeath.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Best. Thing. Ever.

Oh, Herc. How is he so awesome???

*gigglesnort*

Romeo and Romeo. Yis.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Herc is brilliant, isn't he? I adore him.

[identity profile] smonsterbite.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank dog it's just me and [livejournal.com profile] luluminion in the office right now, b/c you had me braying like a donkey. Your Herc voice is fantastic.

Herc lets out a low whistle under his breath. "I feel like I'm trapped in the worst chick flick ever," he grumbles, "and I ain't even gonna get laid for all my suffering."

Oh, yes.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it so much and thank you for the recommendation.

[identity profile] silverakira.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my god I have to go to class in five minutes and will not be back for probably three or four hours; why do these things always happen to me?

I will be back, with lots and lots of feedback, I promise, because you writing Friday Night Lights (and Tim! and LANDRY) will always = me exploding with joy.

[identity profile] silverakira.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
eeeeeeeeeee omg i am dead. dead i say. dogs could not hear the pitch of my squee.

[revives self]

Okay, first off: Friday Night Lights is one of those shows where I just don't need fic like I do for some others, but the way you write it, god, I am dying for more. Dying.

1. Herc and Landry bonding over the emoness of Jason and Tim? Might just be the best thing in the history of ever. Seriously. They are two of my favorite characters, and of COURSE they would get along swimmingly and now I will be completely disappointed if they don't meet in the show. You spoil me with your brilliance, you really do.

2. Landry says "ignominy". Hee. I am way more amused by that than I should be, but I can picture him saying it in my head, all indignant-like.

3. I lovelovelove the way you write all of them. God. It's so utterly perfect and with just the right touch of humor that isn't present in the show. I just -- I really cannot convey how much adoration I have for this fic and for you, in writing it. Also, this is like one step away from Tim/Landry, which is totally my new OTP.

In conclusion: <3

(no subject)

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com - 2007-02-22 19:00 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] shrift.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I have so much love for this story. I want to make it a mix tape to show it how I feel!

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Awwww. *grins like loon*

[identity profile] brandil.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
you are amazingly gifted.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Your icon = <33333

[identity profile] luluminion.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Brilliant. Since shrift's already making this fic a mix tape, I'll make it cookies like a rally girl.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Since shrift's already making this fic a mix tape, I'll make it cookies like a rally girl.

LOL. This story is totally going to get an ego like Smash's at this rate.

[identity profile] darksylvia.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
YAY. I love this album, and I like the completely non-verbal interaction between Street and Tim.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

[identity profile] pixelarious.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my god, I loved it. Just one of those reading experiences I get not too often where I think, this, this right here is something I could read a million times. Landry and Herc. Why haven't they had scenes together yet? And Jason and Tim! Just a damned good fic.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Landry and Herc. Why haven't they had scenes together yet?

My sentiments exactly! They are comedy gold!
ext_46841: (Default)

[identity profile] 1407graymalkin.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
HELLO!

*holds fic to her chest* This is mine. I named it squishy.

(ps. submit it to fnl_laundrylist)

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
So far this story has received a mix tape, cookies from a rally girl and now it's named squishy. Now I'll never be able to contain its ego, really.

[identity profile] e-juliana.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
"When you girls are done," Herc hollers to Jason and Tim, "I'll be getting the underage kid drunk at the bar."


Here via smonterbite, and LOVE.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so pleased you liked it!

[identity profile] chelseafrew.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
This was very sweet. The interaction between Herc and Landry is very amusing (and realistic, given their characters). I like that you don't hear what Tim & Jason say to each other--you can imagine. And I also like the little music notes sprinkled through the story.

Great job!!

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for reading and commenting!
ext_1973: (clear eyes)

[identity profile] elz.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
He's a lover, not a fighter, but this is just sad.

GLEE! Man, this is perfect. I can totally see Landry and Herc taking their act on the road, rescuing people from their emo!hair and self-pity through the power of snappy put-downs and Christian death metal. What could be better?

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I can totally see Landry and Herc taking their act on the road, rescuing people from their emo!hair and self-pity through the power of snappy put-downs and Christian death metal. What could be better?

Okay, that's like the best idea. They could be revivalists! They'd totally have sermons in a big tent and Landry would spend the entire time trying to get phone numbers.

[identity profile] jillapet.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
"When you girls are done," Herc hollers to Jason and Tim, "I'll be getting the underage kid drunk at the bar."


MWAAAAAAAHAAAAA!

Excellent fic!

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!
ext_1499: (Default)

[identity profile] busarewski.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
God, I love your take on the boys. And I seriously need to get back to watching FNL. I miss the football. Herc is a gem, and Landry, oh Landry, Tim is lucky to have him reading for him. Loved the Romeo and Romeo thing. As someone else said, if this just happened on the show.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so very pleased that you enjoyed reading this, thank you for your lovely comments.

[identity profile] screaming-mimie.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
for you, i'll share my one and only coherent thought about Heroes...

dude who got Hiro out of the locked closet and shot everything up is Patrick from Sponge Bob.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
LMFAO.

[identity profile] daraq.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
I love this story to pieces. Herc + Landry = my new platonic OTP.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
The awesomeness of Herc + Landry cannot be underestimated in any way.

[identity profile] romancandles.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 01:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha! Herc and Landry are probably secretly related. It's TV--anything can happen! They need to have some interaction. I like the whole parallel between Landry and Tim both sort of losing their best friends except I want Landry and Tim to be best friends forever and ever and be snarky together so I guess I'm hoping that Jason and Matt stay busy.

I was just thinking today that Tim and Jason haven't have a scene together in forever. Weird that I opened my flist and saw this. What I'm saying is that I'm probably psychic.

OH! And there's a typo here: ""Especially when your ears stop bleedin' and you loose the urge to shoot at empty beer bottles and lame dogs in the street." I think that should be "lose."

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha! Herc and Landry are probably secretly related. It's TV--anything can happen! They need to have some interaction. I like the whole parallel between Landry and Tim both sort of losing their best friends except I want Landry and Tim to be best friends forever and ever and be snarky together so I guess I'm hoping that Jason and Matt stay busy.

LOL -- I see Heroes is warping your brain. And yes, I agree that Landry + Tim should totally be BFF, because Jason and Tim are totally the star-crossed lovers. It's v sad that they haven't had Jason and Tim make up yet when Lyla got a friggin marriage proposal.

[identity profile] devilc.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 02:39 pm (UTC)(link)
The honest reaction:

Yay! [livejournal.com profile] hackthis has not left the building!

Shit, she's writing a music story. (And it's better than the one I'd ever write. ~envy~)

Screw envy. This thing is so funny and so dead on I can't help but feel happy.

Sorry about your man though."

"I don't really think he's my man," Landry corrects.

Street's covers his mouth with the back of his hand -- he and Tim are clearly having some sort of private moment in public -- and Landry and Herc exchange raised eyebrows. "Yeah, well, not anymore he's not." Herc agrees.


{{{wibble}}} poor Landry. Always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

You mean like a real drink?"

"As long as you're weaned from your mama's tits," Herc snarks, rolling away from Landry and towards the front door.
-- Herc FTW!


Thank you. This was an insanely great story and what I needed to balance out the kind of ho-hum morning I'm having.





[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw, you are very sweet, and no, I have definitely not left the building yet it's just that FNL tends to give me so much to deal with that sometimes I have to walk away before I have some sort of episode.

[identity profile] inimicallyyours.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 04:23 pm (UTC)(link)
*giggles manically*

Best.Thing.Ever!!

Herc + Landry = Made of AWESOME!

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Herc + Landry = Made of AWESOME!

WORD!

[identity profile] vylit.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 05:32 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG, I want to draw little hearts around you. I think I'm going to explode from so much love. The voices are awesome, and Landry and Herc are just.

*kisses you and them and this fic*

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Awww. *grins like crazy*

[identity profile] azewewish.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, if they don't make this a scene in an upcoming ep, then the writers are RETARDED. It's got Landry mocking Madonna, Herc mocking Limp Bizkit, Herc offering Landry a drink, Tim's emo hair, Jason not looking at Nirvana, Romeo & Romeo...

MOST. PERFECT. FNL. FIC. EVER. Period, the end.

And it's MINE ALL MINEEEEEEEEEEE (okay, mine & Kate's, I'll share with her *g*).

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so pleased you liked it, I know it took me a little while, but of course once I got them talking they wouldn't shut up and it was just about the most amusing thing ever in my head.
ext_25867: jared padalecki with my username on it. (JDM with guitar)

[identity profile] lorilann.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
I love Herc and Landry's commentary. I could read about them just conversing about the phone book. Street and Riggins making headway =)

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-22 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so glad you liked it, thank you for reading and commenting!

George...on TV

[identity profile] sociobunny.livejournal.com 2007-02-23 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
hey.. did you just see George Clooney on tV being interviewed by Julia Roberts? Bradley Called it was amazing.

-mira

Re: George...on TV

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-23 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
George is love.

[identity profile] geneli4.livejournal.com 2007-02-23 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
*clutches self and fic*

oh, man, your herc is spot on and i love your landry and good god, tim's hair. *squeaks* it's all just so so perfect, and i really love it a lot. thanks so much for sharing it!

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2007-02-23 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
You are very welcome, thank you for reading and commenting!

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