hackthis_archive | [insert apathy here]

I am taking an extended break at the moment. I do hope everyone is well, or at least treading water with a life jacket. I don't have much to say about anything at this point, because other people's asshattery only makes the baby Ari irritable, so I will just post the links and be done with it.

a) Brad Fitz has given notice to Six Apart, which really does say a lot. Thanks Larita.

b) I have been instructed to make an Insane Journal, so I did, under the same user name, but I'm not really that bothered.

c) Any video of Adrian spanking Milo wins best EVERYTHING in my book.

sparky77 watch this.

antheia, ilu.

d) I continue to think Burn Notice is the best thing since grilled cheese with butter on the inside. Michael continues to be queerer than a three-dollar bill, and I now consider it canon that on his first date with Sark, Julian did the quick knife game (the one where you hold down someone's hand and stab between their splayed fingers with a knife) on Michael as foreplay.

e) I finally saw Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix the other day (I wasn't that bothered to be honest) and have to say that if the book had been as half as good as the movie I might not have burned it in irritation. Neville FTW. And, no, I don't have any Deathly Hallows thoughts that you couldn't suss out on your own.

f) I do hope that you'll stop over to

allvoodooanyway and leave some good thoughts and/or porn for the much beloved

scribblinlenore.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I know you did it," Lassiter said with cold certainity.

"I did not! You have no proof," Guster protested wiping crumbs from the corner of his mouth.

"That's because you just wiped away the evidence. You stole my cookie!"

"I did no such thing," Guster replied.

"There's chocolate under your fingernail," Spencer pointed out from where he was sitting on a near by desk.

"Shawn! You're supposed to be on my side," Guster protested and then paused and added, "Hypothetically. If I needed a side. Which I don't because I did not steal this man's cookie."

"Well, hypothetically, if you needed someone on your hypothetical side, hypothetically, you should have given this hypothetical person half of your hypothetical cookie, hypothetically speaking," Spencer said, getting off the desk and moving closer to Lassiter.

"That's way too many hypotheticals," Guster protested.

"Hypothetically," Spencer replied and then looked at Lassiter for approval.

Lassiter nodded in agreement and Spencer smiled at him.

"I cannot believe this!" Guster protested.

"In fact I think I'm getting a vision! I see a jar. It's a little hazy, it might be jelly jar... no... wait maybe a jam jar... no... no... it's becoming clearer... it's a cookie jar and someone has stolen a cookie for it! And that someone is you, Gus!"

"Who me?"

"Yes, you!"

"We are not doing this, Shawn. And this stupid because there was no jar."

"How do you know there was no jar unless you were there to steal the cookie?" Lassiter asked.

"Exactly!" Spencer nodded.

"This is totally ridiculous. I don't know you anymore, Shawn, that you would accuse me in this manner."

"Well maybe I don't know the man who wouldn't share another man's cookie with me," Spencer replied.

"This from the man who never shared his ding-dongs with me. There are two ding-dongs in a package. Two, Shawn. And you would just shove them both in your mouth at the same time," Guster replied, starting to raise his voice.

"I was nine! At least I'm not a cookie thief!"

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Hey... Hey!" Lassiter shouted grabbing hold of Spencer by the shirt as he moved to lunge at Guster.

They both turned and looked at Lassiter with curious eyes.

"I don't care who stole my cookie. I just want you both to go far away, please," Lassiter begged.

"Look what you did, Gus. He's mad now. You can't go taking another man's cookie like that," Spencer said, shaking his head sadly.

"Why does it sound so sordid when you say it. And I didn't do it!" Guster protested.

"Sordid? Who uses that word?" Spencer objected.

Lassiter closed his eyes.

"Lassie, are you okay?" Spencer asked, worried.

"If I can't see you, then you're not there," Lassiter replied grimly, eyes tightly shut.

"Oh Gus," Spencer said sadly as they started to walk away, "You broke him."

"Spencer, the answer is no. The answer was no. The answer will always be no. He has not committed any crimes and so therefore I cannot arrest him," Lassiter explained as patiently as he could while picking sadly at his salad.

They were all sitting in a booth at alocal restaurant having lunch though Spencer and Guster were too busy glaring at a man a few tables away from them to pay attention to their food.

"Pretty please?" Spencer begged.

"No."

"With sugar on top?"

"No!"

"And a cherry?" Guster added.

"Well, if there's a cherry on top... then, of course," Lassiter said dryly.

"Really?" Spencer asked.

"No!"

"He may not have broken any laws, but his very existence is a crime against god and all of humankind," Spencer tried to explain.

"That's a true fact," Guster added in support.

"Just bring him into the station. We'll get a confession out of him," Spencer promised.

"A confession of what?" Lassiter asked.

"That he is, in fact, the spawn of Satan! I'm a psychic. I know these things."

"This is the last time I let you two sit at the big kids table," Lassiter sighed.

"Fine, but fifty years from now when all the world's cities are rubble and the rivers are running with blood and the poor remaining suffering souls are huddling together for warmth, all the poor souls will be thinking the same thing. Do you know what that is Lassie?" Spencer demanded.

"I'm sure I don't want to know, but you're going to tell me anyway," Lassiter said with a resigned sigh.

"Yes, I will. They will be thinking if only that foolish Detective Lassiter had taken the opportunity while he had it. He could have arrested the most evil thing ever to walk the earth, but he let the silly fact that he wasn't actually breaking any laws get in the way. They will mark this day on their calendar and weep at its anniversary. It will be know as the day Detective Lassiter could have saved the world by arresting Chad Michael Murray, but didn't because he's a big party pooper."

"Spencer..." Lassiter warned.

"Or possibly something shorter. That's really hard to say."

They will mark this day on their calendar and weep at its anniversary. It will be know as the day Detective Lassiter could have saved the world by arresting Chad Michael Murray, but didn't because he's a big party pooper."

ilu. REALLY. Please, Lassie for the good of all mankind, do this.

Oh, that's just awesome. Your banter and ridiculous shenanigans for the boys are just perfect. ♥ ♥

*omgdies* these are all so AWESOME!! *still giggling* so, so very perfect! more, please!

also? icon love for ari!

I just have to say, I love all of these vignettes so very much. I am waiting for Netflix to send me disc 4 and I think I'm going through withdrawal, which is ridiculous because it's only been a few days since I finished disc 3, but I sort of want to watch them over and over and over. Or read fic this good about them! That would do nicely. I especially loved everyone's reactions to Peter, though really, the cookie and the CMM discussion were also adorable. And the rhythms and speech patterns of the banter are spot-on. Marvelous!

Ha! Loved this. And the others too.

"I did not! You have no proof," Guster protested wiping crumbs from the corner of his mouth.

"That's because you just wiped away the evidence. You stole my cookie!"

This is the real appeal of Psych, isn't it? That they're 10 year-old kids in grown people's bodies, that's why everyone loves them, because everyone can relate. You are AWESOME. *mwah*

(I think I'm responding to the right comment... this thread has gotten a little confusing)

That they're 10 year-old kids in grown people's bodies, that's why everyone loves them, because everyone can relate

Yes, exactly! And I had more to say about this, but it was starting to sound suspiciously like embrace your inner child which wasn't what I mean at all, but more that it's awesome see how much they get delighted by the little thing and that's not a bad way to live life.

"This from the man who never shared his ding-dongs with me. There are two ding-dongs in a package. Two, Shawn. And you would just shove them both in your mouth at the same time," Guster replied, starting to raise his voice.

Oh, dear god. I think I just laughed so hard I coughed up my liver.

I had no idea Spencer was such a libertine!

Came here through a link from Tomomichi's Rec Journal (http://tomomichi.livejournal.com/) and had to say that this entire threadfic was delightful, but especially this. Lassiter and Shawn ganging up on Gus gave me the giggles for at least five minutes.

[insert apathy here]

Part II

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