Clooney in 2008.

[hackthis_archive]

Colbert + Obama 4eva!


In a shocking election twist that *nobody* saw coming, Presidential Speechwriter Stephen Colbert has announced he is running for President against current Vice President (and Future Overlord) Barack Obama.

Well, at least in the state of South Carolina.

How exactly this will work out if Colbert wins the presidency of South Carolina isn't quite clear to this hack blogger journalist, who doesn't really want to become a citizen of the New Republic of South Carolina, but just might for a case of Americone Dream.

What *is* clear is that things are probably a bit jacked up in the White House at the moment, which is still repairing holes in the Lincoln Bedroom from the much-ballyhooed World War III over President Clooney's friendship with Clive Owen and the First Gentleman's dealings with 007. Thankfully the first family has survived this storm, and, in fact, is now denying reports that they are adopting a sibling for The Most Adorable First Son Ever.

Insiders insist Colbert's presidency run is simply his bid for attention from his current man-crush (Obama -- not long time love, White House Special Correspondent Jon Stewart) and that this will all be resolved by an Obama/Colbert presidency ticket in 2012. To which I would just like to trademark Cobama ™ and/or Obert ™ now.

The White House has, unsurprisingly, chosen not to comment on the current fiasco. In fact, when asked about who President Clooney will end up stumping for, White House Chief of Staff Ari Gold told reporters from The New York Times to, "Go fucking report on real news, like Angie finally knocking up Brad. I always knew he had the pussy in that relationship!"

We will provide further updates as they come to me they are provided.


For jaebi_lit.

For those of you who are new to these parts 'Clooney in 2008' is a exceedingly fictitious world (that only exists in random press releases) that I've created where George Clooney is President, Barack Obama is the Veep, Ari is the Chief of Staff, Oprah is the Secretary of State and Lewis Black is the Secretary of Defense. Oh and Anderson Cooper is First Gentleman because well, why not?

Comments

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

You know what might be the most surreal thing ever... sitting in airport in Vegas, listening to the sound of slot machines, and trying to figure out exactly why "racking his gun" sounds so dirty, and how Peter might help with the whole gun racking, and how the phrase gun racking has now lost any mean it might have ever had, and that I was totally going to write you a mini story while I was waiting for my stupid plane, but I am so tired that the story would basically be: Once upon a time, there was a Nathan, and he was so pretty and awesome that he was far too good for anyone he ever met, not even his very pretty brother because he was kind of dumb and was spending all his time kissing stupid Irish girls instead of taking care of his insanley hot and awesome brother like he should, so one day Nathan finally he realized that he was far too good for the world, and he didn't know what to do about it because it was the only world he had ever known. Luckily, while out drinking and being hot, he met a very nice man named Captain Jack, who was also far too good for the world, so they decided to run off together, and they had many fun adventures across time and space being incredibly hot and they never missed their stupid worlds at all.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Oh, pookie. *pets* I think Nathan would make the bestest companion ever and the PRON. Oh, the pretty pretty pron.

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

And he would totally not object to being a cargo plane for Jack.

Peter who?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Exactly.