hackthis_archive ([personal profile] hackthis_archive) wrote2008-08-13 09:32 am

Lefties and Olympics Porn FTMW! \O/

It is International Left Handers Day. Represent lefties! Both Marilyn Monroe and Napoleon were lefties. Hell, so is Brangelina. But we can't have everything.

Speaking of representing, the French may have talked a lot of 4X100 smack, but at no point would I begrudge them anything if they continue to show their swimmers stripping each other in front of God and Country. Liberte! Egalite! Nudite! (Yes, this photo is safe for work, you just won't feel like it is).

I'm sure the conversation went something like this:

Lefert: You are wet, here let me help you
Teammate: Yes, I'm wet. I just swam a relay.
Lefert: Yes, but you are wet. You need to get undressed.
Teammate: In front of all these people?
Lefert: Here, the heat from my gaze will keep you warm
Teammate: Wait, too warm! Too warm!
Lefert: We can haz sex nao?
Teammate: Yes. No. Yes. I am so fucking tired. I just swam a relay
Lefert: Which is why you should get naked. Now.
Teammate: Well, if you insist.

Apparently it takes 30 minutes to put the LZR suit on, so I suppose any shortcuts are more than welcome. AND. 10 brownie points to whomever can tell me the name of the man being stripped. AND. I will write you post relay comfort porn in the showers. You know, if that's your thing.


ETA: If you are interested in Generation Kill, but do not currently posess the means of seeing it, it might behoove you to join the [livejournal.com profile] generation_kill community where they might be able to assist you. (Yes, I use words like behoove. What?)

[identity profile] restless-jedi.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
...the voice reading this dialogue in my head is Eddie Izzard when he fakes a french accent. I may die of amusement.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:01 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I win!

[identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
It's either Sebastien Bodet, Matthieu Madelaine, or Amaury Leveaux. They're the guys who competed with him in the 4x200m relay, but they don't have pictures listed with their Yahoo profiles so I can't tell which one.

[identity profile] amberlynne.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 04:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I believe it is Bodet (http://www.nbcolympics.com/athletes/athlete=64271/bio/index.html), which I would never have been able to figure out without your help, as the NBC Olympics site is organized like a monkey on crack designed it!

And, Z, for, you know, fic reference, it takes almost 20 minutes to get one of those suites *on*, so I assume it feels really good when it finally comes off. Ahem.
Edited 2008-08-13 16:46 (UTC)

[identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 04:50 pm (UTC)(link)
the NBC Olympics site is organized like a monkey on crack designed it!

Yeah, the Yahoo site isn't much better. I tried to get all of the 4x200m results and I could only get the medal round, so I had to go to Lefert's profile and click through there.

Twenty minutes? Sheesh.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:01 pm (UTC)(link)
And, Z, for, you know, fic reference, it takes almost 20 minutes to get one of those suites *on*, so I assume it feels really good when it finally comes off. Ahem.

You know, I heard it was 30 minutes. Whatever it is, that's entirely too long to take to put something on. I know a lot of it has to do with the legs and making sure that it adheres to *every* curve of the body. It wouldn't do to have air pockets. You notice how Michael is always only in half of his? It must not be very friendly for skin breathability. Which strangely makes me think of the opening scene in Goldfinger. Favorite Bond movie pre-DC.

[identity profile] green-queen.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, that poor guy really does look so tired. He's all pink.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey man, it's a relay. Just because it's underwater doesn't make it any less taxing. Which is exactly why he needs to have sex now. No, I don't see the correlation, but my brain assures me its there.
Edited 2008-08-13 17:04 (UTC)

[identity profile] green-queen.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I know. Just...expressing sympathy for someone who actually looks like they've swum a relay, unlike say Michael Phelps.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Perfectly understandable. I think Michael Phelps is not from this planet though. I mean a) the speed b) the body c) the body. You see where I'm going with this...

[identity profile] green-queen.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm guessing somewhere dirty.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
You are very astute. It's just that when I look at images like these (http://community.livejournal.com/phelps_jammers/18184.html) I think he would be an excellent specimen to teach me all about the muscle groups in the human body.

[identity profile] green-queen.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sure that's what you're thinking.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, did I not mention the naked part? Yes. He could teach me these things naked. And then he could teach me how to swim. Or we could do it in reverse. Like the french team! :D

[identity profile] green-queen.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
We came third. That has nothing to do with this conversation except that I have a thing for Eamon Sullivan.
ext_3450: readhead in a tophat. She looks vaguely like I might, were I young and pretty. (Default)

[identity profile] jenna-thorn.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
He looks like Sebastien Bodet to me.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Indeed! I think we have a winner!
ext_3450: readhead in a tophat. She looks vaguely like I might, were I young and pretty. (joy by underwaterfairy)

[identity profile] jenna-thorn.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Glee!

I will happily share the brownie points with [livejournal.com profile] amberlynne as she was right, too.

I'm hoping you were serious about the fic. 8-)

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm hoping you were serious about the fic. 8-)

I was just waiting to see if you wanted to take me up on the offer.
ext_3450: readhead in a tophat. She looks vaguely like I might, were I young and pretty. (fantasy football by beadslut)

glee!

[identity profile] jenna-thorn.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, absolutely.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Wings? What? *clicks links* Whoa.
ext_230: a tiny green frog on a very red leaf (hitchcockian)

[identity profile] anatsuno.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
whoa. NICE.

[identity profile] eystri.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Prettyyyy.
ext_2524: do what you like (will arnett)

[identity profile] slodwick.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, my. OM NOM NOM, FRENCH BOYS.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I know, rite!

[identity profile] xanatosdecrion.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 04:50 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL Love your dialog. And yes, I don't 'feel' as if it's safe for work, even though it is. ;)

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:03 pm (UTC)(link)
And yes, I don't 'feel' as if it's safe for work, even though it is

Exactly!

[identity profile] mir8lle.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I've suddenly developed overpowering interest in the Olympics. Who knew such things could even happen!

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I think one of the commenters in Jezebel said it best

Sooooooo the point of the Olympics is that if you watch all 4,000 hours of it you will be treated to the first three seconds of a gay porno film.

Gothcha.
ext_1175: (Yul)

[identity profile] lamardeuse.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Lefert: We can haz sex nao?
Teammate: Yes. No. Yes. I am so fucking tired. I just swam a relay
Lefert: Which is why you should get naked. Now.
Teammate: Well, if you insist.


AHAHAHAHAHA you KNOW that would be the dialogue! :D

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, it didn't quite work like that when I finally wrote it, but it's close ;-)

[identity profile] andi-sunrider.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I like the synchro diving as well. They're ripped, flexible, they wear speedos, and said speedos continuously need adjusting as they're leaving the pool after the dives.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I agree, that was damn good too.

[identity profile] andi-sunrider.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Conundrum -- Why do the female beach volleyball players wear less than the female synchro divers, while the male beach volleyball players wear more than the male synchro divers? There would be so much more opportunity for gawking if the male volleyball players would stop being so modest.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-14 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
WORD!

[identity profile] beck-liz.livejournal.com 2008-08-14 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
And the annoying thing? I'm pretty sure that the men's volleyball players frequently go shirtless in non-Olympic competition, because I've seen pictorial evidence. So apparently, the shirts are part of the Olympic uniform or something, which is annoying. Especially in comparison to the women's uniforms.

[identity profile] serialkarma.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 05:49 pm (UTC)(link)
//Teammate: Wait, too warm! Too warm!
Lefert: We can haz sex nao?
Teammate: Yes. No. Yes. I am so fucking tired. I just swam a relay//

*dying*

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I was telling [livejournal.com profile] lamardeuse that that's kind of how it ended up going down in the story, but with more words.

[identity profile] undersea.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I think maybe I'm going to change my mind and start watching the Olympics.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, that only took forever ;-)

[identity profile] romancandles.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG. The Olympics has completely eaten my brain. Yesterday during the women's gymnastics I thought I was going to die. I can't believe there are three more stressful weeks left.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Three weeks? I thought it was just two.

[identity profile] thepouncer.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
The Olympics are making me so *happy*. All the prime flesh on display is glorious.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2008-08-13 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
WORD!