hackthis_archive | I hate you people so much (read: OMG! ilu, you are made of awesome)

So, I ask for solicitations. And

dine is all Brad and Nate should make out in an alley, and I'm like, yeah, I'm totally down for that idea. And then

bijoux is all, hey, did you know Brad studied with the Royal Marines in the UK? And I'm like, Brad was in the UK?

Nobody told me Brad was in the UK!

Do you know how many stories I could've written by now (where are my British Royal Marines specialists? Where do they train? What's the closest village? Talk to me, folks!)

And with Brad being all lean and long, I know he plays football in their down time and

alethialia was all, do they try to get him to play for a league, maybe somebody's fancies him. And I'm thinking, yeah, no leagues, not really how that works, but people who play football in the rain so you can grope people in the mud raise your hands! Sliding tackle groping FTW!

And then I was like, well, if we're in the UK, not only are we playing footie, but we must go see some. Ilu football! Liverpool! Not that they're going to Anfield though, sadly. You see how I get about this? And then I'm like, well, Brad obviously must have a team that is not Chelsea. Or Man U. Something scrappy like Everton. But not Man City, because Oasis made them strangely trendy. Maybe Tottenham. In honor of someone I used to know. And then they like play QPR or Arsenal.

And Brad takes Nate, because you KNOW this whole story is about Nate coming for a visit, and Brad totally not being all crazed about his *not* man coming to see him, and his mates being all, "Christ, another Colbert", except Nate's Nate and everybody else is like, "Sorry?" And then Brad and Nate are off to London. Or possibly Manchester, but that's another story if they go to Manchster. Oh, Manchester.

Um, so, yeah. And then

sparky77 was like, wherefor is the drunken sex. And I'm like, oh, the drunken sex. And of course, Nate thinks they're going to be doing lots of cultured things, and Brad's having none of that, he's all: football, pub, sex, that's it. Not necessarily in that order.

So, the first night is the pub, many many many many pints at the pub, and Nate marvelling at all the government-endorsed drinking, and Brad drunkenly groping him against -- I am not having them stay in fucking tourist land -- so, maybe Pimlico. No, Kilburn. Oh, yes, Kilburn. So, there's drunken necking like outside the tube station. Or against the side of someone's house down from the high street. And much stumbling back to whomever's flat that Brad's managed to borrow, because that's how we do.

And then sex. Lots of fumbling, sorry, I broke that and no, my asshole is not right there you drunken lout, and whoops I have whiskey dick can we try again in the morning sex. The kind where at 4 in the morning, Brad's like, I'm sober, we can haz sex now, and Nate's like I have jetlag, I'm a civilian now, STFU.

And then Brad gives him this wicked slow blow job where Nate almost gives himself whiplash, and Brad's all, God you're tight, what the hell are you doing during phone sex? And Nate's like STFU and fuck me already! And Brad's like you know begging is playing dirty. That's totally a bullet-proof kink, tell me you've been thinking about this. And Nate's like, I have $300 in long distance phone sex bills, asshole. And Brad's like, exactly. And then he totally rolls Nate on his stomach and licks Nate open so thoroughly that Nate rips the sheets. And Brad's like, yeah, I missed this, and Nate's like I will totally cut you if you don't fuck me now. And yes, the sex is just that good.

So good that they fall asleep, wake up and have more mind-breaking sex.

And then there is footie where they go to the match, getting caught up with all the craziness. Love the crazy! Love the scarves! Sing the songs! Talk shit about the other team! Although, I really kind of want them to [redacted for self-incrimination]

And then after Indian takeaway, because all trips require a curry, there's the tequilia sex where Brad starts off by using Nate as his base. First he's licking Nate's finger - suck, dip in salt, suck again - and then he uses Nate's forearm, and then his neck, and then they start rolling around on the floor, because Nate's yanking at Brad's shirt, because he wants to use Brad's navel, and then Brad's like, I want that little divot between your collar bones and Nate starts yanking at Brad's jeans and Brad's like --- I feel your kinkiness is started to show, and Nate's like, I should tie you up, and Brad's like, o rilly? And Nate's like, yes, I have given this extensive thought. And Brad's like, talk me into it while we get naked, and Nate proceedes to tell Brad all about how he wants to tie him to the headboard and sit on his face and jerk off on his chest, and Brad's like, damn, that's a lot of kink, and Nate's like, I'm totally going to eat your ass, and Brad's like, huh, you know X person I borrowed this flat from has lots of ties, he won't mind if we borrow some, and then he totally ties Nate to the bed.

And there is lots of filthy, dirty sex.

And then in the morning they have a fry up at a cafe and Nate's moving a little slow, because Brad left like fifteen thousand marks on him, and Brad's as happy as Sixta talking about the grooming standard. And Brad's like, so, when are you coming to visit me again, and Nate's like, in six weeks. Maybe less.

And now I don't think I have to write it, since everybody got the jist, right?

And yes, it is always this manic in

hackthisland. Now you see why that High School AU hasn't materialized because it was about 10 pages of narration just like this. Ask

sparky77! Even though I admit that the stuff in there was pretty damn brilliant.

Happy Birthday,

literaryll!!

I hate you people so much (read: OMG! ilu, you are made of awesome)

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