I hate you people so much (read: OMG! ilu, you are made of awesome)

[hackthis_archive]

So, I ask for solicitations. And dine is all Brad and Nate should make out in an alley, and I'm like, yeah, I'm totally down for that idea. And then bijoux is all, hey, did you know Brad studied with the Royal Marines in the UK? And I'm like, Brad was in the UK?

Nobody told me Brad was in the UK!

Do you know how many stories I could've written by now (where are my British Royal Marines specialists? Where do they train? What's the closest village? Talk to me, folks!)

And with Brad being all lean and long, I know he plays football in their down time and alethialia was all, do they try to get him to play for a league, maybe somebody's fancies him. And I'm thinking, yeah, no leagues, not really how that works, but people who play football in the rain so you can grope people in the mud raise your hands! Sliding tackle groping FTW!

And then I was like, well, if we're in the UK, not only are we playing footie, but we must go see some. Ilu football! Liverpool! Not that they're going to Anfield though, sadly. You see how I get about this? And then I'm like, well, Brad obviously must have a team that is not Chelsea. Or Man U. Something scrappy like Everton. But not Man City, because Oasis made them strangely trendy. Maybe Tottenham. In honor of someone I used to know. And then they like play QPR or Arsenal.

And Brad takes Nate, because you KNOW this whole story is about Nate coming for a visit, and Brad totally not being all crazed about his *not* man coming to see him, and his mates being all, "Christ, another Colbert", except Nate's Nate and everybody else is like, "Sorry?" And then Brad and Nate are off to London. Or possibly Manchester, but that's another story if they go to Manchster. Oh, Manchester.

Um, so, yeah. And then sparky77 was like, wherefor is the drunken sex. And I'm like, oh, the drunken sex. And of course, Nate thinks they're going to be doing lots of cultured things, and Brad's having none of that, he's all: football, pub, sex, that's it. Not necessarily in that order.

So, the first night is the pub, many many many many pints at the pub, and Nate marvelling at all the government-endorsed drinking, and Brad drunkenly groping him against -- I am not having them stay in fucking tourist land -- so, maybe Pimlico. No, Kilburn. Oh, yes, Kilburn. So, there's drunken necking like outside the tube station. Or against the side of someone's house down from the high street. And much stumbling back to whomever's flat that Brad's managed to borrow, because that's how we do.

And then sex. Lots of fumbling, sorry, I broke that and no, my asshole is not right there you drunken lout, and whoops I have whiskey dick can we try again in the morning sex. The kind where at 4 in the morning, Brad's like, I'm sober, we can haz sex now, and Nate's like I have jetlag, I'm a civilian now, STFU.

And then Brad gives him this wicked slow blow job where Nate almost gives himself whiplash, and Brad's all, God you're tight, what the hell are you doing during phone sex? And Nate's like STFU and fuck me already! And Brad's like you know begging is playing dirty. That's totally a bullet-proof kink, tell me you've been thinking about this. And Nate's like, I have $300 in long distance phone sex bills, asshole. And Brad's like, exactly. And then he totally rolls Nate on his stomach and licks Nate open so thoroughly that Nate rips the sheets. And Brad's like, yeah, I missed this, and Nate's like I will totally cut you if you don't fuck me now. And yes, the sex is just that good.

So good that they fall asleep, wake up and have more mind-breaking sex.

And then there is footie where they go to the match, getting caught up with all the craziness. Love the crazy! Love the scarves! Sing the songs! Talk shit about the other team! Although, I really kind of want them to [redacted for self-incrimination]

And then after Indian takeaway, because all trips require a curry, there's the tequilia sex where Brad starts off by using Nate as his base. First he's licking Nate's finger - suck, dip in salt, suck again - and then he uses Nate's forearm, and then his neck, and then they start rolling around on the floor, because Nate's yanking at Brad's shirt, because he wants to use Brad's navel, and then Brad's like, I want that little divot between your collar bones and Nate starts yanking at Brad's jeans and Brad's like --- I feel your kinkiness is started to show, and Nate's like, I should tie you up, and Brad's like, o rilly? And Nate's like, yes, I have given this extensive thought. And Brad's like, talk me into it while we get naked, and Nate proceedes to tell Brad all about how he wants to tie him to the headboard and sit on his face and jerk off on his chest, and Brad's like, damn, that's a lot of kink, and Nate's like, I'm totally going to eat your ass, and Brad's like, huh, you know X person I borrowed this flat from has lots of ties, he won't mind if we borrow some, and then he totally ties Nate to the bed.

And there is lots of filthy, dirty sex.

And then in the morning they have a fry up at a cafe and Nate's moving a little slow, because Brad left like fifteen thousand marks on him, and Brad's as happy as Sixta talking about the grooming standard. And Brad's like, so, when are you coming to visit me again, and Nate's like, in six weeks. Maybe less.

And now I don't think I have to write it, since everybody got the jist, right?


And yes, it is always this manic in hackthisland. Now you see why that High School AU hasn't materialized because it was about 10 pages of narration just like this. Ask sparky77! Even though I admit that the stuff in there was pretty damn brilliant.



Happy Birthday, literaryll!!

Comments

[kristories.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA I love that in your world it's:

and Nate's like, I should tie you up

and it still ends up with Brad tying Nate to the bed instead.

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

Hee! I noticed that too :)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yes, funny thing that, huh? ;)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'll take that. :)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I was pretty partial to it to, but right now I'm totally burned out. Maybe at some juncture.

[alethialia.livejournal.com]

There are no leagues? Pfft! Weak, man.

...maybe they're too drunk all the time to organize such things. ::boggles::

Do you know how many stories I could've written by now (where are my British Royal Marines specialists? Where do they train? What's the closest village? Talk to me, folks!)

Yes, we loves your flist, we do.

his mates being all, "Christ, another Colbert", except Nate's Nate and everybody else is like, "Sorry?"

Bwa? Sorry...because they thought he'd be another Colbert and he's not and they didn't mean to insult him like that? Or sorry because Colbert's his boy and Nate has to put up with that all the time?

And by 'that' I do mean the hard-drinking, filthy-talking epic sex machine so, ya know, Nate's not complaining or anything.

of course, Nate thinks they're going to be doing lots of cultured things, and Brad's having none of that, he's all: football, pub, sex, that's it. Not necessarily in that order.

AHAHA! Oh, Nate. You thought you'd go get lost in the British Museum? Silly boy.

And then he totally rolls Nate on his back and licks Nate open so thoroughly that Nate rips the sheets. And Brad's like, yeah, I missed this, and Nate's like I will totally cut you if you don't fuck me now. And yes, the sex is just that good.

::stares in awe::

And there is lots of filthy, dirty sex.

Yes, please!

Brad's like, so, when are you coming to visit me again, and Nate's like, in six weeks. Maybe less.

And he might have to do a semester abroad, to boot. What?! Sure, it's more an undergrad thing, but there are business schools in London. Or, hey, he could go study government there.

Oh, wait. AU! Instead of going to Harvard Nate gets a Rhodes/Marshall Scholarship and ends up in England. With Brad. Where much sex can be had. Surprise!

now I don't think I have to write it, since everybody got the jist, right?

Aww, but - aww!

Even though I admit that the stuff in there was pretty damn brilliant.

You're a TEASE is what you are!

::loves::

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

There are no leagues? Pfft! Weak, man.

...maybe they're too drunk all the time to organize such things. ::boggles::

Darling, this is the British military.

Bwa? Sorry...because they thought he'd be another Colbert and he's not and they didn't mean to insult him like that? Or sorry because Colbert's his boy and Nate has to put up with that all the time?

Sorry is an all-purpose word in the UK. It can mean I apologise, or repeat that again, or that sucks, or you're an asshole or any of the things you mention above. Plus about sixty others.

AHAHA! Oh, Nate. You thought you'd go get lost in the British Museum? Silly boy.

Well, you know, it is a vacation. Silly Nate, I know.

I iz pondering porn, but it's the same problem as before, too many ideas. I try to pick one and six others are all, WHAT ABOUT US!

[alethialia.livejournal.com]

It can mean I apologise, or repeat that again, or that sucks, or you're an asshole or any of the things you mention above. Plus about sixty others.

::snorts:: Poor Nate's gonna be confused! 'Soo...was he just insulting me?'

I iz pondering porn, but it's the same problem as before, too many ideas. I try to pick one and six others are all, WHAT ABOUT US!

Yis. This is an unfortunate situation. When this happens to me I just go with one and make myself write it, even if it's crap because I can always fix it later. Ice cream helps, too. And then, when I'm done, I feel like I've Accomplished Something, even if I'll have to go back and change it all to make it not suck. Blank pages = teh evil.

Um, which is not helpful at all and you knew already, I'm sure. So...here's a pretty icon of Brad?

I AM NO HELP AT ALL.

[elzed.livejournal.com]

Um, I think you could write it, yes. I could check out some Royal Marine stuff if you insist on some verisimilitude. And yes, Kilburn is suitably down at heel. I like the ties, too. A lot.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It's one of many concepts I am pondering, but you know if I had some factoids to give it some weight among all the other bunnies shrieking for attention... Just little things like where the base is. The average age of the Marines. I can take care of weather, trains, that whole London bit...

[elzed.livejournal.com]

Amusingly enough, there were some Royal Marines Commando chappies hanging around at the cinema when I went to see the latest James Bond, looking for potential recruits (among the blokes, clearly). One of them in particular was rather absurdly good looking, a tall black guy with cheekbones to die for (except I didn't really want to be caught staring, you know. But guh! No wonder they send him out to do PR).

Anyhoo, I googled around a bit when I came home, thinking of you, and I can tell you their base is in East Devon, near the village of Lympstone and is known as the CTCRM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commando_Training_Centre_Royal_Marines). It has its own dedicated train station, just for Marines (which is kind of cool). Apparently their training course, which clocks in at 32 weeks, is the longest in NATO.

Average age is hard to determine, but apparently the average age of the guys at the training camp is about 19, and an article about a company deployed in Afghanistan had them at 22-23, which sounds quite likely and similar to our Recon Marines.

And they have a glossary of Royal Marines slang (http://www.royalmarines.mod.uk/server/show/nav.6921) on their website. Useful, no?

Hope that helps fuel the inspiration...

;)

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

I HIGHLY APPROVE OF ALL OF THIS.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL. Good to know.

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's just so pretty on so many different levels. And the hotness goes without saying because it's Brad and Nate.

And yes, the High School AU is brilliant and awesome and, you know, insanely hot.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Too many ideas. I can't even focus on just writing some porn because I keep getting, hey, what about this? What about X? Can we do this? And I get overstimulated. Yes, overstimulated is the perfect word.

[dine.livejournal.com]

*fans self*

you know, when you get all inspired, you make the fangirls happy and squeeful. the only thing wrong with this is that it's not much much longer!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[ruggerdavey.livejournal.com]

Dude, stumbling into this a little late in the game, but this was fucking brilliant. And you're totally killing me with the allusions to a high school AU. I think I would pay for 10 pages like this of a high school AU.