hackthis_archive | Ah, people. Failing since evolution began.

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Ah, people. Failing since evolution began.

1. The word of the day is clusterfuckiest. Trufax.

2. I'm a big fan of the part where a summer camp that rented a pool in north PhillY for $1900 were told they weren't welcome, because they changed the complextion of the pool. Keep it classy, racist assholes!

3. If I think too hard about the confirmation hearings, I might stroke out, so...

4. YAY, Leverage premieres tonight!

5. And Matt Damon is going to be on Entourage! So, that means that Matt and Ari are going to be hanging out. And I didn't even have to write it! Yeah, I know, who's the man? All they need now is RDJ... you know since I write it and it happens. Excuse me, I have to go write myself winning ten million dollars. BRB.

6. Ryan Gosling is releasing his album in October. I WANT IT NOW.

6a. Anybody got the new Regina Spektor album (Far) that they wanna share with the class.

7. An Offer: Anybody who wants to come over here and give me a photo prompt that maybe might result in some drabble porn to make the masses happy is more than welcome.

If you just want to picspam the pretty to you know, help the general mood, that's awesome too. In fact, feel free to come and post photos and write your own porn too! But it's gotta be a photo. And SFW. It can be a party!

Mostly I'm just trying to make

romanticalgirl smile, so help a sister do a good deed.

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Which then begs the question, why do you think Brad just wouldn't want to bottom all the time. Or that Nate would even want to bottom. He may have very strong feelings about not getting fucked.

Shit, I wrote someone a whole long thinky e-mail about power dynamics and appearances and self-esteem (<---that's totally L's fault)...I think I need to find that.

Why is everything *my* fault?

::pouts::

Because you make A cry! With everyone leaving Brad and Brad not thinking he's the awesomest that ever did awesome and, y'know, all that.

I give them happy endings! And porn! That has to count for something.

Yes, but you make them suffer hardcore, baby. I have a nickname for you, Marchioness de Sade.

That makes me sound neat. I like that. ::plots more suffering::

I love this icon. The tiara is just perfect. Very you. :D

::twirls prettily::

Oh, God, don't encourage her.

I have to encourage my people to do what they love. I encourage *you* all the time, don't I? Why? Because I'm an enabler of awesome shit. None of that wackness :D

Heh. As if I *require* encouragement.

I am required by law to encourage her. Really, it was part of my parole after that thing that one time with that other thing. It wasn't me though. Don't know what they were talking about.

Of course you didn't! I was there and saw you didn't do it. Yup.

Exactly!

So. It's a self-esteem thing now? Real men don't get fucked? *raises an eyebrow* I don't think that gives them very much credit.

Yeah, taking it up the ass makes you less of a man. Totally. ::nods::

Obviously *I* don't believe that, but a lot of guys seem to think so. And you're the one who's always going on about boy-thinking! I'm just saying.

Found the e-mail (which was specifically wrt the very beginning of a relationship between Brad/Nate):

I actually have trouble seeing Nate topping at times. And Brad bottoming, too. Because while Nate's a badass and hardly effeminate, he is very aware of power dynamics. He takes his responsibility for his men very seriously. He's in a position of authority; there's no way around that. And this is the reason fraternization isn't allowed (ignoring the issue of homosexuality). Nate has both legal and moral authority over Brad. Adding a relationship into that dynamic introduces all sorts of potential issues (from abusing one's authority to clouding one's judgment), so the fact that Nate does have a thing with Brad goes against his better judgment...but at the same time, he can't stay away, so he's kinda fucked no matter where he turns. In my head I can understand him being reticent to fuck Brad to avoid even the perception of the abuse of authority. Not that anyone's looking, but hell, Nate's conflicted. We were all shocked to hear.

But because Brad is Brad, I don't think this comes up as an issue, at least, not at first. Brad's whole identity is based on not showing weakness in front of the pack. He's the alpha male of Bravo Company. Hell, he's the supreme alpha male above all the other alpha males. His reputation, even identity, is based on being the baddest badass that ever did badass. He doesn't bow down before anyone.

RL!Kocher once said something interesting (it might've been in the making of) where he likens the officers as renters and the NCOs as owners of recon. Officers come and go, but the senior NCOs - the Sergeants - they're really the guys who run the show. It makes sense since recon generally operates on the team level, where Brad would be the highest ranking guy in the field. Given that, submission to/respect for officers is mostly a formality. Certain officers who prove themselves, like Nate and Patterson, are worthy of real respect, but the rest is just for show (and to avoid punishment). We saw that with all the officer-bashing in the mini.

I digress to make a point. I think he'd have an issue bending over for Nate, I do. I think it would seem to him like he was showing weakness, that he was willingly submitting to another, which goes against the code by which he lives. Now, do I think this is conscious? Probably not, at least not at first and especially not in the heat of getting Nate naked. But I think it plays out in how they react once they are naked. I think Brad's assumption is that he'll be fucking Nate; the reverse doesn't even occur.

Brad's self-esteem issues also contribute to this, in my mind. Nate's completely secure in who he is; I don't think he'd connect bottoming with showing weakness/being submissive/being judged negatively by others. Brad, otoh, is a little less secure. I think it'd take a while before he was comfortable enough for those things not to be a concern.

Does that mean it's impossible for Brad to bottom? No. Hell, I wrote a whole story about just this. I think once Brad consciously thinks about it and puts it in the context of Nate, whom he trusts and respects, it'll be less of an instinctual belief that he'll be fucking Nate.

***

The self-esteem thing comes from L and I discussing why the boys would never have a threesome with another guy. Akin to, everyone leaves Brad, what, is he not good enough? And then L makes me want to cry.

And I remember why Brad bottoming raised an eyebrow! In fat, I think we've had this discussion before. Even YOU wrote that one rilly hot story where Nate had to work to get Brad to bottom.

Obviously *I* don't believe that, but a lot of guys seem to think so. And you're the one who's always going on about boy-thinking! I'm just saying.

I was poking you because I didn't think you believed that, but you know, it was implied in the sentence. That worried me. Then again, we have no sarcasm font and I've been here since 7:30 this morning and am only getting to eat at 3pm, so please excuse anything that might be construed as me getting pissy. I'm a little irritable at the moment, Now, as to this...

In my head I can understand him being reticent to fuck Brad to avoid even the perception of the abuse of authority. Not that anyone's looking, but hell, Nate's conflicted. We were all shocked to hear.

You make some excellent points and this bit in particular pinged me, because now I want to write about Brad trying to convince Nate to fuck him and Nate being all, no, it wouldn't be proper and Brad would be all, yeah, okay, gay sex, with superior, in the military, are you really trying to pull THAT card. REALLY?

And I love the Kocher remark b/c I got to take it a step up and think that the NCOs are the owners of the rent controlled building. The officers are the tennants, and the landlord is the military only in this case the landlord is making all the decision and not the owners!

Now, do I think this is conscious? Probably not, at least not at first and especially not in the heat of getting Nate naked. But I think it plays out in how they react once they are naked. I think Brad's assumption is that he'll be fucking Nate; the reverse doesn't even occur.

I think this would be a pretty spectacular thing to see, because I can almost see them both going into this thinking they're going to be on top (yes, it goes against the above, but let's face it, that's a shoddy arguement when lined up with all the other things Nate's breaking -- ths is not to say that Nate wouldn't hold on to it like a high school trying to lose his virginity on prom night -- but. Wait, I just have to give myself props because that was an awesome simile. Anyroad, where was I? Ah yes, the tussle once the clothes come off and they're rolling around and for a minute I think things go from playful to a little violent when Brad realizes things aren't quite going the way he thought. I can see his wide eyed expression when Nate has him pinned to the bed, not physically restrainign him, but Brad's legs around Nate's waist or maybe just the way that Nate's physically on top, griding against him taking what he wants, and the way Nate's face shifts as he relizes what's going on in Brad's head. And then there's that decision to do it this way to get what he wants,

I am very interested in this Brad self-esteem thing. I would love to see that one explored a little bit, possibly by me, but I'm not sure I'll have the time.

Oh, I don't mean to sound pissy or imply bad things. ::frets::

now I want to write about Brad trying to convince Nate to fuck him and Nate being all, no, it wouldn't be proper and Brad would be all, yeah, okay, gay sex, with superior, in the military, are you really trying to pull THAT card. REALLY?

YES! I mean, it doesn't logically follow. If Nate looked at it rationally, he'd see that it doesn't logically follow. Once he gets involved with a subordinate, the specifics of the sexual activities don't really matter (morally, I mean). It won't make it better if Nate's always the bottom, but it almost seems like Nate might grasp that as kind of his last refuge, like, 'it's not REALLY wrong because I'm not bending my Sergeant over or anything.' Which is -

Thing is, Nate's a good man. He honestly believes in many of the tenets of the military. He understands that he has a responsibility to his men and we know he'd do anything for them. He'd be horrified by the thought that he'd done them wrong. Given all that, there is simply no rational way he can justify a sexual relationship with one of them. He can excuse it by saying he and Brad are equals, but fact is, they're not. He's Brad's commander. Period. So instead he evades; it's all he can do, other than not start such a relationship...and that ain't gonna happen.

Of course, this all rests on the notion that Nate's a little bit in denial. The entire discussion falls apart if he goes into a relationship with Brad, eyes open, knowing exactly what he's doing and knowing that it's wrong. But I think that's harder to justify character-wise, especially if it's pre-Iraq or in theater. He thinks of himself as a good man, he recognizes the wisdom of this rule and the opportunity for abuse that it protects against...and I think he also believes that no one is above such a rule and anyone who thinks he is shouldn't be in a position of power.

It's some MASSIVE cognitive dissonance and Nate's really in kind of a shit position, frankly. But that gets way angsty and we all know I ain't down with that.

So Nate hangs onto the last vestiges of 'it's not that bad if I'm on bottom and besides, the military has broken all sorts of promises to us, I am assured of this.'

ths is not to say that Nate wouldn't hold on to it like a high school trying to lose his virginity on prom night -- but. Wait, I just have to give myself props because that was an awesome simile.

Indeed. Indeed, it was. Heh.

Brad realizes things aren't quite going the way he thought. I can see his wide eyed expression when Nate has him pinned to the bed

That would be an interesting story, the both of them thinking they're on top, Brad realizing he's not in control here. Which - I think it's more interesting for him because while he is the alpha male, it's not explicitly granted authority; it's earned and basically understood. Nate's authority, otoh, is explicit. Brad's used to being treated a certain way by everyone - even the officers to an extent - and then he finds himself in bed with Nate and Nate's not deferring to his expertise or badassery (or even really challenging it, no, maybe he's outright assuming he's in charge...this might take some convincing on my part) and so Brad's like, wait, what?

I am very interested in this Brad self-esteem thing. I would love to see that one explored a little bit, possibly by me, but I'm not sure I'll have the time.

L kind of did this in "Itch In Your Veins." (I freaking LOVE that story.) I think that's where we were talking about this, too. It's especially persuasive in light of the bff and ex-gf and how they're 'all still friends' and...yeah, L kinda breaks me when she starts talking about this stuff because I just want to pet Brad and make it better.

YES! I mean, it doesn't logically follow. If Nate looked at it rationally, he'd see that it doesn't logically follow. Once he gets involved with a subordinate, the specifics of the sexual activities don't really matter (morally, I mean). It won't make it better if Nate's always the bottom, but it almost seems like Nate might grasp that as kind of his last refuge, like, 'it's not REALLY wrong because I'm not bending my Sergeant over or anything.' Which is -

I am laughing my ass off, because I just can see you being logical about this, and my man brain is like, "Dog, when has anybody EVER been logical about sex." Yes, my man brain sounds a lot like Poke. Shockingly people actually come to me advice because of this. I dunno. It works for them, shame I can't get it work for me.

He thinks of himself as a good man, he recognizes the wisdom of this rule and the opportunity for abuse that it protects against...and I think he also believes that no one is above such a rule and anyone who thinks he is shouldn't be in a position of power.

It's some MASSIVE cognitive dissonance and Nate's really in kind of a shit position, frankly. But that gets way angsty and we all know I ain't down with that.

Just reading that made my brain hurt. The sort of insanity it would take to juggle that day in and day out would eat Nate from the inside. There would never be any chance for a relationship, because Nate would be hating himself every second he wasn't with Brad, and even when he was with Brad he'd be all 'Ahhh, this is wrong. Stop. Go. Stop. AHHHHHH!' And naturally, Brad would not like this train of insanity -- because he wants Nate, Nate wants him, why all the goddamn grist? I wonder what it would've been like if they were both NCOs...

It's especially persuasive in light of the bff and ex-gf and how they're 'all still friends' and...

We've discussed this before, my hysterical hyena like laugh when people are naive enough to say 'but how can you let one person break you that way?' You don't let people do anything to you, they do that shit regardless, because people? At the end of the day, mostly suck, and are very much in it for what they can get out of it. Fuck the rest of it.

I can actually see Brad going to Nate with this attitude and Nate being like 'okay, you need to be disabused of this notion' and Brad's like, 'whatever, are we going to fuck now or what?'

I am laughing my ass off, because I just can see you being logical about this, and my man brain is like, "Dog, when has anybody EVER been logical about sex." Yes, my man brain sounds a lot like Poke.

I was gonna say, that does sound like Poke.

And Nate's analytical. We know Nate's analytical. Faced with a naked!Brad? Okay, not so analytical. He wants what he wants, period (which is why I say it's impossible that there wouldn't be a relationship). But later? I think he'd think about it, kind of talk him into somehow making it better.

L should write this story. This is her kind of story. But I'm not suggesting that because she doesn't need any more angst, omg.

Shockingly people actually come to me advice because of this. I dunno. It works for them, shame I can't get it work for me.

You're our guru. ::nods:: In many ways.

Just reading that made my brain hurt. The sort of insanity it would take to juggle that day in and day out would eat Nate from the inside. There would never be any chance for a relationship, because Nate would be hating himself every second he wasn't with Brad

Well, that's the power of the evasion. People are surprising when they're in denial. You know this. But it makes my head hurt, too, which is why it stays in thought form.

Brad would not like this train of insanity -- because he wants Nate, Nate wants him, why all the goddamn grist? I wonder what it would've been like if they were both NCOs..

AHAHAHA! I smell an AU!

We've discussed this before, my hysterical hyena like laugh when people are naive enough to say 'but how can you let one person break you that way?' You don't let people do anything to you, they do that shit regardless, because people? At the end of the day, mostly suck, and are very much in it for what they can get out of it. Fuck the rest of it.

Yes, I remember. Which just makes me sad for Brad (and everyone) and so he needs a good Nate to make him happy, but, you know, he's not necessarily down with trusting Nate immediately because you don't just get over being broken and so it's all complicated like whoa. And sad. Did I mention that? Yeah.

Nate being like 'okay, you need to be disabused of this notion' and Brad's like, 'whatever, are we going to fuck now or what?'

And thus Brad was healed by the MAGICAL POWERS OF NATE'S COCK! What? I can evade with the best of 'em.

L should write this story. This is her kind of story. But I'm not suggesting that because she doesn't need any more angst, omg.

But it might be just what she needs. Writing is good, it keeps you busy.

Yes, I remember. Which just makes me sad for Brad (and everyone) and so he needs a good Nate to make him happy, but, you know, he's not necessarily down with trusting Nate immediately because you don't just get over being broken and so it's all complicated like whoa. And sad. Did I mention that? Yeah.

All I'm saying if Nate's got a magic cock I may need to borrow him for a little while. I know how Brad is, but he's also a humanitarian. And this would be for the good of all man kind (omg, I'm was laughing the whole type I was typing that last line).

If I had the power, I would lend you a Nate. Alas, I do not. Though contending with Brad, uhh, I'd leave that to you.

Heh.

I can take Brad. *winks at A* *smiles winningly*

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Ah, people. Failing since evolution began.

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board

Re: boys being totally innocent and hard-working and above-board