Like the blind man, in the dark room, looking for the black cat... that isn't there

[hackthis_archive]

While in conversation with lazlet and maurheti about the second episode of Doctor Who featuring Eleven something profound occurred to me:

The sonic screwdriver looks like a penis.

So, basically, Doctor Who is a show about a white man that goes around the universe saving various inhabitants with his giant glowing penis.

I'll repeat that: Doctor Who is a show a man created about another man and his healing cock.

THEY MADE A SHOW ABOUT THIS AND IT GOT ON THE AIR?!

Oh, wait, that's like the story of colonization history, innit?

(Poke would fucking love this shit.)

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Also, I saw The Losers the other day and my thoughts can be summed up like so:


Clay + Roque = HOTASS ANGRY SEX (Obviously before Roque turned on the team) (I would like to read about this immediately)

Clay + Aisha = HOTASS ANGRY SEX (that I would like to read about immediately)

Jensen + Pooch = adorable hetero-lifemates (that I would like to read about immediately)

Is anybody gonna write this stuff? PLEASE?!

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In other news... anybody got a story that they'd like to recommend to me that they think I might like? The last time I wanted something with lots of explosions and violence and was forced to write my own, I am not trying to go down that road again.

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I was thinking the other day about my past fandoms (there are quite a few) and how far I've come with my writing. There are a few stories that after all this time I still quite like. They're not going to change anybody's world, but I'm still really happy to have written:

1. Square One. Smallville. Written during Lex's time at Belle Reeve in S2. This story was like pulling fingernails out while I wrote it, but I still think well of it six years later.

2. I See Monsters (That's When I Reach for my Revolver) a Neville/Theodore story based on the video viðrar vel til loftárása by Sigur Ros. Five years later I still have soft spot for this pairing, especially since Matthew Lewis has turned out to be nineteen thousand times hotter than Dan Radcliffe (ha!). I win \o/

3. Telegraph Avenue. The O.C. Yeah, I know. But it's the very first story I ever wrote longer than 30 pages, and let me tell you, the first time you realize you can actually do that and the world won't fall apart? BIG FUCKING DEAL.

4. The Way I Was Made, which is a Smallville/Superman Returns/Teen Titans fusion that has the distinction of being the very first story I wrote that was a) over 60 pages and b) written all at one time and not in chapters (unlike TA). It took me a month. Longest month ever. (In comparison, I wrote both Son is on a Midnight Run and Get Some in a week. Actually Son only took a week including beta. Yeah, my betas got it like that.)

With a Special Award to The Incredibly True Adventures of Four Stars, Two Actors In Love, and One Gay Landmark. There are a lot of schools of thought about RPS. I subscribe to the "as long as it doesn't hurt anybody, I don't care" school of thought. And this story was the very first time I realized not only that RPS is damn fun (and not all emo LOTRips) but that, holy shit, real life is way more hysterical than anything I could dream up. Thank you Ari, George, Brad (I was touched in the head) and Jake (who I *still* don't like).

Comments

[maurheti.livejournal.com]

1. Still laughing... And oh hell yes, Poke would have Things to Say!

2. A lot of hotass angry sex. A LOT. Oh my god.

3. Apparently I have some reading to do!!

[chicklet-girl.livejournal.com]

I'll repeat that: Doctor Who is a show a man created about another man and his healing cock.

I know you're all about Eleven, but the Nine episode that introduces Captain Jack contains a hilarious moment where Nine magically replaces Jack's gun with... a banana. It was like Russell T. Davies said, "Children, we're going to introduce you to the concept of the phallic object."

Also, TELEGRAPH AVENUE. I now find myself hoping I sent you feedback on that story Back In The Day, because I love it so and I would hate to think you didn't know that.

[goss.livejournal.com]

"The Way I Was Made" is my faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavourite! It makes me smile just thinking about it. You have this fantastic way of combining so many of my fannish interests in the best way possible. *happy sigh*

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

I do love Zoe. She was on the Daily Show this week and was super adorable.

Of course I read TA! It was awesome.

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

Ari is busy spying on George and Anderson trying to figure out what those sneaky, perverted bastards are doing reading the paper and eating bagels on a Sunday morning.

[hypertwink.livejournal.com]

OMG, I loved Tommy/Anthony.

[hypertwink.livejournal.com]

JDM is hot, and disturbingly so, especially when he's The Comedian. Weird.

[vylit.livejournal.com]

I find myself quoting Poke all the time. Because really, he's awesome.

And I enjoyed The Losers quite a bit.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I was quoting Rowan Atkinson when I typed it in. I don't know where else it might be from.

ETA: It's apparently attributed to Darwin and goes in its entirety: "A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there."

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

1. This is part of why Gina doesn't allow a TV in the bedroom, because she doesn't need Tony getting all riled up and bitching about the white man before bed.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I gotta tell you it never ceases to amaze me when people mention TA. I'm like you read that? For real?! It does make me very happy to hear, just so you know :)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

White man's gotta rule the world, dog.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*beams* I'm glad you still think so highly of it!

[lovetheboys.livejournal.com]

&hearts this interpretation...

[lovetheboys.livejournal.com]

I was so excited for The Losers I actually got social! I had a group of 8 people (when my usual hang-out max is 4) to go see it, and we made up about 1/4 of all the people in the theater, which made me very sad.

But holy shit, SO. MUCH. LOVE. for everyone in the Losers. And Jensen? Exactly like my friend's husband. Like, to a freaky degree.

But so much yay! for blow-'em'-up movies with an actually-diverse cast who lets their badasses be smart too!

...All I could think of was a crossover and/or fusion with GK would be so awesome. Would the boys have fun with/as The Losers or what?

[thorne-scratch.livejournal.com]

Eh, I wish I had something to rec, but it's all fandoms I don't think you dabble in. (Though you still are the first person I thought of when I saw this.)

I have a real fondness for the Incredibly True Adventures because it wasn't just cool RPF, it was RPF with, like, multimedia! Pictures and links and such, like getting DVD Easter eggs. Though I do like Jake. And I distinctly remember someone calling Colin Farrel a manwhore, which still makes me laugh.

Also, random question but do Brad and Nate ever end up approving any Disney movies for Layla? This... had a reason, I swear.

[unavee.livejournal.com]

*fangirls*

I See Monsters is one of my favorite HP fics--or actually, I don't usually read any HP now, but that's a story I still reread.

Yours was my favorite OC fic, so I read all of it, including Telegraph Avenue.

And I loved The Way I Was Made :D

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

Nah, it's not about magic healing cock. Dr Who is about a creepy old bloke who kidnaps young men and women for 'adventures', and then dumps them for younger models when he gets bored (they're inevitably screwed up beyond all belief after dumping). And regularly gets plastic surgery to escape the authorities. Mind you, so does his on and off again boyfriend from uni.

But the new TARDIS has a GIANT GLASS DILDO on the console.

[kaiserkuchen.livejournal.com]

I must add my voice to that one commenter-- my recollection is kind of hazy, but I also think that reading "The Incredibly True Adventures" was my first foray into reading RPS and that was basically the start of a supremely awesome "downward spiral" into reading some fantastic fic in a genre I was previously too squicked to attempt :Db So thank you for that <33

(and I finally caught up with Southland and fuuuuuuuck it is so damn good)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

But so much yay! for blow-'em'-up movies with an actually-diverse cast who lets their badasses be smart too!

The Losers was most definitely awesome. Smart badasses are the best.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 99 Luft Balloons! I remember when Jay-Z announced that The Black Album was going to be his last album (ha) and the entire world went on a remix binge. There's an awesome mash up of The Verve and Jay doing 'Dirt off Your Bittersweet Shoulders'

Colin Farrell is a whore, but because he's a man it's allowed. When a girl acts like that, she's like Super Slutty McSlutterson. Big fail.

Disney movies for Layla. Yeah, there are two: 101 Dalmatians (even Poke can't object to dogs) and The Princess and the Frog, because it only took them 60 years to make a movie about a black princess where they didn't kill anybody's mom. There are very real and valid objections to Cinderella (you don't need a man to save you), Snow White (no, polyamory with seven Rays), Peter Pan (rather obvious), Fantasia (racism 101), Sleeping Beauty (only blonde and blue eyed is pretty? fuck that), The Little Mermaid (why change for a man)... it just goes on and on. And these are just *Nate's* objections.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you! :)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But the new TARDIS has a GIANT GLASS DILDO on the console

It doesn't have just one, it has like five. Also, the middle bit looks like glass anal beads. A highly dangerous mix.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

a) You are very welcome

b) SOUTHLAND IS LOVE! LOVE I TELL YOU!

[thorne-scratch.livejournal.com]

It works so surprisingly well! And dude, I'll have to dig that one up. I've gone on a mash-up binge lately; it may even call for some kind of organized music post.

Yeah, it's total fail with difference in expectations on the gender divide. I just remember being amused that he was the first name called to mind with the term. I certainly don't disagree.

Cool! And Nate's objections are both apt and hilarious. Actually, when Mulan came out, the Chinese side of my family was all "Well, that was... something." (The reason I asked was because I just did see the Princess and the Frog, and wondered if it passed muster. Though Brad and Nate are possibly going to regret the fact that Layla now points at the screen and babbles "Rayrayrayrayrayray," whenever that character is on, and the ensuing trauma when he dies.)