hackthis_archive (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hackthis_archive) wrote2010-08-17 01:42 pm
hackthis_archive) wrote2010-08-17 01:42 pm
Entry tags:
How to Dress Your Man/Character: An Informal Tutorial Heavy on the PicSpam
One of the many (many) things that I adored about Inception was the menswear, because that's just who I am. Anybody who's been around these parts longer than five minutes knows that there are three things I take very seriously: music, alcohol and menswear*. Some people like knitting, some people like drawing, some people like porn, I like very nice men's suits.
*There are more, but let's not get distracted.
And I say all this to say that I am loving that people want to write about all the nice suits that the men of Inception own in their stories, so the purpose of this tutorial is more for the people aren't quite sure who is who or what does what or why the hell somebody would even pay as much as they do for this business.
I have been giving![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
maurheti a crash course on designers over the last few weeks, so really this whole post is dedicated to her edification. And yours if you so choose.
How to Dress Your Man/Character: An Informal Tutorial Heavy on the PicSpam
The most important thing to understand is that All Suits are Not Created Equal. It's not just about cost, it's about fit. You can spend a grand on a suit and if the pants billow when you walk or the shoulders are too tight or (oh my god) you can't fucking button it without looking like you're going to explode, you look terrible. By that same tenor, you can spend $500 on a suit and look like a million bucks. But first and foremost, you need to find the kind of suit that works for you.
There are generally three different types of suits:
American suit: American suits traditionally have two buttons, medium-sized lapels and three outside flap pockets paired with un-cuffed, flat-front pants. The jackets are of single vent design with natural shoulders, while the pants are angled to present a natural break at the shoes. American suits are (supposedly) ideal for men with prominent chests, due to the v-shaped styling of the jacket that accentuates the pectorals. The pants are of a lean cut, showing the suit wearer's fitness. (This last bit is *highly* debatable).
English suit (my favourite): The English suit offers the most classic of cuts for the most elegant appearance. The jackets have medium-sized lapels, three buttons with three outside pockets, double venting and padded shoulders. The pants are pleated with a quarter-inch cuff breaking at the shoe. English suits are commonly designed with pinstripes or plaid weaving. This suit is ideal for all body types, flattering both strong and weak physiques.
Italian/European suit: A standard Italian suit is double-breasted (wide, overlapping front flaps with a double row of parallel buttons), large-sized lapels and slit pockets. The jacket shoulders are often lightly padded to add bulk while leaving the impression of natural stature. The pants have pleated fronts with button pockets in the back and slit pockets in the front, plus cuffs at the shoe. (I generally think larger men do better with the double-breasted, because it can make you look small around the middle.)
*Summaries from eHow, to save time and aggravation
So, I can hear you saying, yeah, those are words. This means nothing to me. I need explanations of the words. I need pictures,hackthis! I feel you. So for eye-candy purposes, here you are.
THE THREE TYPES OF SUIT
And I can hear you say, okay, these look nice, but really, they're all kind of the same, right?
NO! NOT THE SAME!
So, how do I tell them apart besides, like, the color and the fabric design?
Well, the most obvious way is how the suit is procured.
Generally there are ready-to-wear (or off-the-rack) suits and then there is bespoke, which are custom made to the body.
ETA: There is also made-to-measure, as the place between RTW and bespoke where you send in your measurements to the house and they make a suit from their collection to your body measurements, but I'm trying to keep things simple(ish).
Did you guys ever see The Thomas Crown Affair? The remake with Pierce Brosnan? You remember that scene where he was being measured in his office for a new suit?
That is bespoke. (And if you have not seen this film get thee to Netflix immediately. All suits for Pierce for that movie were made by Brioni. I like Brioni).
Bespoke is Savile Row. Bespoke is repeated fittings under your arm and your tailor getting very intimate with your inseam. Ready-to-Wear is Macy's. And Barney's. And Bergdorf Goodman. Yes, it goes all the way up the range. Bespoke is made precisely for your body, Ready-to-wear (RTW) is you buying it off the rack. You will obviously get it tailored for fit, but that's the difference. That and a few grand.
All the suits in Inception? Made by the costume designer. That ladies and gents, is bespoke.
Buthackthis I hear you say, so what? He made the suits, the suits are nice. That's all I need to know, right?
NO! That is not all you need to know. If you want to write about Arthur at the tailor you need to know about lapels and pockets (most suit jackets have at least three – don't forget to include the inside pocket for the wallet and keys). You need to know about the different types of material. Wool not nylon. Cotton not polyester. Silk not anything else. Superfine Merino Wool. Remember it.
You need to consider pattern: plaid and glenplaid, checked and striped.
And lining is important. Why? Because it looks nice when you hang up your jacket. Okay, that's not true, but a nice lining never hurt anybody. It's really about preserving the line of the jacket. And what do we mean by preserving the line? We mean not looking like you slept on the floor last night.
I'm getting carried away. So now is a good time to talk about lapels.
You know what lapel is, right? Those little bits of folded over fabric on the front of the suit, that are some times really thin and sometimes really look like fucking wings. Those are lapels.
So,hackthis, I have lapels, I have types of suits, I have how they're made and fabric and pattern, what else do I need?
Well, some buttons generally help here. You know, so you can unbutton it, or Arthur can unbutton it or whomever is unbuttoning it and then when you sit down people can see your awesome shirt and tie.
There are generally five types of suit fronts:
Yes, but then there are the trousers. I think we've all seen the man whose trousers are so loose that all you see is fabric and you think he's in a sarong. The guy who when he takes off his jacket all you see is fabric where the ass is supposed to be.
Is there anything sadder on a man than saggy ass trousers? I think not! Unless it's high waters. Or trousers that are too tight. For real. I shouldn't be able to tell if you're circumsized through your trousers.
That is not what's supposed to happen. Pants are supposed to FIT YOUR ASS.
Also, suits have two pieces or three pieces. A one piece suit is a unitard. A four piece suit does not exist.
A two-piece suit is a jacket and trousers
A three-piece suit is a jacket, waistcoat and trousers.
Speaking of waistcoats
WAISTCOATS, PEOPLE. Love them, they are your friend.
So, now you've got your character in his suit. He is ready to rock-and-roll, except wait. He needs shoes:
Buy them from John Lobb, Berluti, New & Lingwood, Ferragamo, A.Testoni, Hermes. Check with the fine people at Forbes if you want to give your man the best. Also, just because I didn't talk about socks doesn't mean you don't need them. WEAR SOCKS. Your shoes will smell otherwise and nobody wants to ruin $1200 shoes with smell.
Okay, how about now? Now are we ready to go out and party yet?
No, not yet. (OMG, why are you such a fastidious fucker?)
You have your suit and shoes, but did you buy your tie? Did you buy your shirt?
All shirts, again, not the same. American men seem to prefer their shirts much more sedate. White, navy, gray, black. Striped and bland. SADASS. European men are all about the color.
Buy your shirts in color! Buy your ties in color! Arthur, I'm looking at you!
Again, if you are splurging for your character or somebody's buying them a gift *hint fucking hint* I recommend a visit to the people at Forbes for brands.
Myself I am highly partial to the fine people at Anto and Turbull & Asser for handmade shirts that you really will kill somebody for messing up.
And then there are shirt cuffs. PEOPLE, pay attention to the shirt cuffs.
As for ties. Well, ties are all a personal choice, but please remember that matchy-matchy is mucho boring. Yes, you can wear a purple tie with that white shirt. Yes the green shirt and blue tie can be worn with the gray suit. Yellow is good. Pink is AWESOME. Color is your friend, do not treat it like a leper.
OMGhackthis! NOW are we dressed?
Sure thing.
You got a watch? Every male in Inception had at least one watch.
I'm partial to Patek Philippe, Vacheron and Cartier myself. I want to marry Piguet. Of course, I think Rolex is pretty 80s. Forbes will help you out.
What about your braces/suspenders? Belts? I am asking you now, as a personal favor to me, DO NOT PUT YOUR CHARACTER IN A TIE CLIP. I fucking hate tie clips. Holy Zeus preseve me.
Ahem. So. Are you feeling like it's an ascot sort of day?
Do you know how to tie your tie?
Also, please note that the way you knot your tie depends on the collar of your shirt, because, no kids, all shirt collars are not the same.
Here is a guide on how to match your shirt and your tie knots. Read it. But you don't have to live and die by it. For real.
And last but never ever (ever) least: CUFFLINKS. I ♥ CUFFLINKS.
Cufflinks are an awesome place for your man or character to exhibit some personality if they're sporting something rather conservative. There are Space Invader cufflinks. Imperial Storm Trooper cufflinks! Mini iPhone cufflinks and Transformers cufflinks.
For some reason I feel like these gear cufflinks are SO Eames.
ETA: I forgot about hats. I am motherfucking PRO-HAT. Fedoras make my palms sweat... if you can wear that shit. Not everybody can. A baseball hat is not a hat, it is an abomination. Sometimes. If you answer to the name of Joe Gordon-Levitt, you can wear a fedora. I know this because I saw a photo of you in one and I plan to write about it extensively. I think Tom Hardy is more of a flatcap sort of guy, but again, if you can, rock it like your name was Kanye.
Okay, finally, finally I have all the elements. I can see that there's a lot going on with this suit business. There are cuts and buttons, there are pleats versus no-pleats. There are shoes and ties and shirts and all kinds of complicated business.
So, now that I know what's involved, who is my character buying this shit from? AKAhackthis' favorite part.
Let me start this off by saying that Gucci and Prada may be famous for their brand name, but their suits? I think their suits are only so-so. (And that's the polite version). They're just popular brand names, and sometimes what's popular isn't really what's good. So, what do I think the men of Inception wear? Well...
If you want to dress Arthur, consider these houses/designers:
Burberry Prorsum
Dior Homme
Dunhill
YSL
Zegna
If you want to dress Eames, consider these houses/designers:
Cerruti
Dolce & Gabbana
Etro
Ozwald Boateng (his website is being revamped)
Viktor & Rolf
Zegna
If you want to dress Cobb, consider these houses/designers:
Calvin Klein
Cerruti
Gianfranco Ferre
Marc Jacobs
If you want to dress Saito, consider these houses/designers:
Brioni*
Dunhill
Giorgio Armani
Kilgour*
YSL
Zegna
*Also I have to note that I think a man of Saito stature is totally getting all his shit done bespoke (starred houses/designers), because that's how he rolls. He is always wearing the nicest thing in the room. BUT. If you need a label I'd go with the above.
If you want to dress Yusuf, I think you want to go more casual. Not because he doesn't deserve awesome suits, but because he's more chilled out. I think you could wrap him in a whole bunch of mix and match pieces of casual wear from Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren and Thomas Pink and throw in some cardigans.
ETA:
If you want to dress Robert Fischer, consider these houses/designers:
Dunhill
Giorgio Armani
Kilgour
Pringle of Scotland
Turbull & Asser
*Also, Cillian Murphy looks like $10 Million in Ransom in Braces (Suspenders) so use that!
You can always consult the fine people at Forbes. Or if you've got some hours to kill roll through the collections at Style.com
*NOTE*: All of the designers I've chosen are based on personal taste and experience, i.e. it's totally subjective. Please, if you have interest in this at all, go to Style.com, browse around, Google menswear. Read GQ and Esquire (preferably the British editions), L'uomo Vogue, Flaunt, Men's Wear Daily, what have you. Educate yourself. Make up your own minds.
And before we go a small picspam of suits that make me go GOTTVERDAMMT
Suits in picspam are the work of Zegna, Ozwald Boatend, D&G and Dunhill.
Also, despite how long this may seem this is totally an express crash course. I didn't go heavily into collar pins (I love collar pins!), trouser pleating, or buttons (there is actually a big difference in quality), or hell buttons on the wrists of the suit or trouser hems. I could talk about lining for about a week. And I didn't do fabric swatches which is probably for the best, or coats, or casual wear, or real formal wear or fifteen thousand other things, but I hope it helped a bit.
IN CONCLUSION: SUITS (and go see Inception again).
ETA: A note about this post.
*There are more, but let's not get distracted.
And I say all this to say that I am loving that people want to write about all the nice suits that the men of Inception own in their stories, so the purpose of this tutorial is more for the people aren't quite sure who is who or what does what or why the hell somebody would even pay as much as they do for this business.
I have been giving
maurheti a crash course on designers over the last few weeks, so really this whole post is dedicated to her edification. And yours if you so choose.The most important thing to understand is that All Suits are Not Created Equal. It's not just about cost, it's about fit. You can spend a grand on a suit and if the pants billow when you walk or the shoulders are too tight or (oh my god) you can't fucking button it without looking like you're going to explode, you look terrible. By that same tenor, you can spend $500 on a suit and look like a million bucks. But first and foremost, you need to find the kind of suit that works for you.
There are generally three different types of suits:
American suit: American suits traditionally have two buttons, medium-sized lapels and three outside flap pockets paired with un-cuffed, flat-front pants. The jackets are of single vent design with natural shoulders, while the pants are angled to present a natural break at the shoes. American suits are (supposedly) ideal for men with prominent chests, due to the v-shaped styling of the jacket that accentuates the pectorals. The pants are of a lean cut, showing the suit wearer's fitness. (This last bit is *highly* debatable).
English suit (my favourite): The English suit offers the most classic of cuts for the most elegant appearance. The jackets have medium-sized lapels, three buttons with three outside pockets, double venting and padded shoulders. The pants are pleated with a quarter-inch cuff breaking at the shoe. English suits are commonly designed with pinstripes or plaid weaving. This suit is ideal for all body types, flattering both strong and weak physiques.
Italian/European suit: A standard Italian suit is double-breasted (wide, overlapping front flaps with a double row of parallel buttons), large-sized lapels and slit pockets. The jacket shoulders are often lightly padded to add bulk while leaving the impression of natural stature. The pants have pleated fronts with button pockets in the back and slit pockets in the front, plus cuffs at the shoe. (I generally think larger men do better with the double-breasted, because it can make you look small around the middle.)
*Summaries from eHow, to save time and aggravation
So, I can hear you saying, yeah, those are words. This means nothing to me. I need explanations of the words. I need pictures,
hackthis! I feel you. So for eye-candy purposes, here you are.THE THREE TYPES OF SUIT
| The American Suit |
 |
| The English Suit (Dior Homme) |
 |
| The European/Italian Suit |
 |
And I can hear you say, okay, these look nice, but really, they're all kind of the same, right?
NO! NOT THE SAME!
So, how do I tell them apart besides, like, the color and the fabric design?
Well, the most obvious way is how the suit is procured.
Generally there are ready-to-wear (or off-the-rack) suits and then there is bespoke, which are custom made to the body.
ETA: There is also made-to-measure, as the place between RTW and bespoke where you send in your measurements to the house and they make a suit from their collection to your body measurements, but I'm trying to keep things simple(ish).
Did you guys ever see The Thomas Crown Affair? The remake with Pierce Brosnan? You remember that scene where he was being measured in his office for a new suit?
That is bespoke. (And if you have not seen this film get thee to Netflix immediately. All suits for Pierce for that movie were made by Brioni. I like Brioni).
Bespoke is Savile Row. Bespoke is repeated fittings under your arm and your tailor getting very intimate with your inseam. Ready-to-Wear is Macy's. And Barney's. And Bergdorf Goodman. Yes, it goes all the way up the range. Bespoke is made precisely for your body, Ready-to-wear (RTW) is you buying it off the rack. You will obviously get it tailored for fit, but that's the difference. That and a few grand.
All the suits in Inception? Made by the costume designer. That ladies and gents, is bespoke.
But
hackthis I hear you say, so what? He made the suits, the suits are nice. That's all I need to know, right? NO! That is not all you need to know. If you want to write about Arthur at the tailor you need to know about lapels and pockets (most suit jackets have at least three – don't forget to include the inside pocket for the wallet and keys). You need to know about the different types of material. Wool not nylon. Cotton not polyester. Silk not anything else. Superfine Merino Wool. Remember it.
You need to consider pattern: plaid and glenplaid, checked and striped.
And lining is important. Why? Because it looks nice when you hang up your jacket. Okay, that's not true, but a nice lining never hurt anybody. It's really about preserving the line of the jacket. And what do we mean by preserving the line? We mean not looking like you slept on the floor last night.
I'm getting carried away. So now is a good time to talk about lapels.
You know what lapel is, right? Those little bits of folded over fabric on the front of the suit, that are some times really thin and sometimes really look like fucking wings. Those are lapels.
 |
| Ken Watanabe is sporting peak lapels. |
 |
| Wendell Pierce is wearing cloverleaf lapels |
 |
| Tom is wearing hotass. Um, shawl lapels |
 |
| And Carlos... ain't wearing much of anything. |
 |
So,
hackthis, I have lapels, I have types of suits, I have how they're made and fabric and pattern, what else do I need?Well, some buttons generally help here. You know, so you can unbutton it, or Arthur can unbutton it or whomever is unbuttoning it and then when you sit down people can see your awesome shirt and tie.
There are generally five types of suit fronts:
| The Single-Button Suit |
 |
| Two button as done by Joe (A personal favorite) |
 |
| Three button (Z by Zegna) (My other personal favorite) |
 |
| Four button (<-- This suit is VERY hard to pull off. FYI) |
 |
| Double-breasted. |
 |
Yes, but then there are the trousers. I think we've all seen the man whose trousers are so loose that all you see is fabric and you think he's in a sarong. The guy who when he takes off his jacket all you see is fabric where the ass is supposed to be.
Is there anything sadder on a man than saggy ass trousers? I think not! Unless it's high waters. Or trousers that are too tight. For real. I shouldn't be able to tell if you're circumsized through your trousers.
That is not what's supposed to happen. Pants are supposed to FIT YOUR ASS.
EXHIBIT A (as provided by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif){kind=small} fyinception) |
 |
| EXHIBIT B |
 |
Also, suits have two pieces or three pieces. A one piece suit is a unitard. A four piece suit does not exist.
A two-piece suit is a jacket and trousers
A three-piece suit is a jacket, waistcoat and trousers.
Speaking of waistcoats
WAISTCOATS, PEOPLE. Love them, they are your friend.
 |
 |
 |
So, now you've got your character in his suit. He is ready to rock-and-roll, except wait. He needs shoes:
 |
Oxfords (Round-toe) |
 |
Loafers |
 |
Oxford (square-toe) |
Buy them from John Lobb, Berluti, New & Lingwood, Ferragamo, A.Testoni, Hermes. Check with the fine people at Forbes if you want to give your man the best. Also, just because I didn't talk about socks doesn't mean you don't need them. WEAR SOCKS. Your shoes will smell otherwise and nobody wants to ruin $1200 shoes with smell.
Okay, how about now? Now are we ready to go out and party yet?
No, not yet. (OMG, why are you such a fastidious fucker?)
You have your suit and shoes, but did you buy your tie? Did you buy your shirt?
All shirts, again, not the same. American men seem to prefer their shirts much more sedate. White, navy, gray, black. Striped and bland. SADASS. European men are all about the color.
Buy your shirts in color! Buy your ties in color! Arthur, I'm looking at you!
 |
The Most Expensive Shirt in the World is made by the Swedish designer Eton. This shirt costs $45,000. Yes, with three zeroes. |
 |
Again, if you are splurging for your character or somebody's buying them a gift *hint fucking hint* I recommend a visit to the people at Forbes for brands.
Myself I am highly partial to the fine people at Anto and Turbull & Asser for handmade shirts that you really will kill somebody for messing up.
And then there are shirt cuffs. PEOPLE, pay attention to the shirt cuffs.
| Pay attention to your shirt cuffs! Not all shirts require cufflinks! |
 |
As for ties. Well, ties are all a personal choice, but please remember that matchy-matchy is mucho boring. Yes, you can wear a purple tie with that white shirt. Yes the green shirt and blue tie can be worn with the gray suit. Yellow is good. Pink is AWESOME. Color is your friend, do not treat it like a leper.
 |
OMG
hackthis! NOW are we dressed? Sure thing.
You got a watch? Every male in Inception had at least one watch.
I'm partial to Patek Philippe, Vacheron and Cartier myself. I want to marry Piguet. Of course, I think Rolex is pretty 80s. Forbes will help you out.
What about your braces/suspenders? Belts? I am asking you now, as a personal favor to me, DO NOT PUT YOUR CHARACTER IN A TIE CLIP. I fucking hate tie clips. Holy Zeus preseve me.
Ahem. So. Are you feeling like it's an ascot sort of day?
Do you know how to tie your tie?
 |
 |
| The difference with how you tie your tie is in the knots. Like so. |
Also, please note that the way you knot your tie depends on the collar of your shirt, because, no kids, all shirt collars are not the same.
 |
Here is a guide on how to match your shirt and your tie knots. Read it. But you don't have to live and die by it. For real.
And last but never ever (ever) least: CUFFLINKS. I ♥ CUFFLINKS.
Cufflinks are an awesome place for your man or character to exhibit some personality if they're sporting something rather conservative. There are Space Invader cufflinks. Imperial Storm Trooper cufflinks! Mini iPhone cufflinks and Transformers cufflinks.
For some reason I feel like these gear cufflinks are SO Eames.
ETA: I forgot about hats. I am motherfucking PRO-HAT. Fedoras make my palms sweat... if you can wear that shit. Not everybody can. A baseball hat is not a hat, it is an abomination. Sometimes. If you answer to the name of Joe Gordon-Levitt, you can wear a fedora. I know this because I saw a photo of you in one and I plan to write about it extensively. I think Tom Hardy is more of a flatcap sort of guy, but again, if you can, rock it like your name was Kanye.
Okay, finally, finally I have all the elements. I can see that there's a lot going on with this suit business. There are cuts and buttons, there are pleats versus no-pleats. There are shoes and ties and shirts and all kinds of complicated business.
So, now that I know what's involved, who is my character buying this shit from? AKA
hackthis' favorite part.Let me start this off by saying that Gucci and Prada may be famous for their brand name, but their suits? I think their suits are only so-so. (And that's the polite version). They're just popular brand names, and sometimes what's popular isn't really what's good. So, what do I think the men of Inception wear? Well...
If you want to dress Arthur, consider these houses/designers:
Burberry Prorsum
Dior Homme
Dunhill
YSL
Zegna
If you want to dress Eames, consider these houses/designers:
Cerruti
Dolce & Gabbana
Etro
Ozwald Boateng (his website is being revamped)
Viktor & Rolf
Zegna
If you want to dress Cobb, consider these houses/designers:
Calvin Klein
Cerruti
Gianfranco Ferre
Marc Jacobs
If you want to dress Saito, consider these houses/designers:
Brioni*
Dunhill
Giorgio Armani
Kilgour*
YSL
Zegna
*Also I have to note that I think a man of Saito stature is totally getting all his shit done bespoke (starred houses/designers), because that's how he rolls. He is always wearing the nicest thing in the room. BUT. If you need a label I'd go with the above.
If you want to dress Yusuf, I think you want to go more casual. Not because he doesn't deserve awesome suits, but because he's more chilled out. I think you could wrap him in a whole bunch of mix and match pieces of casual wear from Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren and Thomas Pink and throw in some cardigans.
ETA:
If you want to dress Robert Fischer, consider these houses/designers:
Dunhill
Giorgio Armani
Kilgour
Pringle of Scotland
Turbull & Asser
*Also, Cillian Murphy looks like $10 Million in Ransom in Braces (Suspenders) so use that!
You can always consult the fine people at Forbes. Or if you've got some hours to kill roll through the collections at Style.com
*NOTE*: All of the designers I've chosen are based on personal taste and experience, i.e. it's totally subjective. Please, if you have interest in this at all, go to Style.com, browse around, Google menswear. Read GQ and Esquire (preferably the British editions), L'uomo Vogue, Flaunt, Men's Wear Daily, what have you. Educate yourself. Make up your own minds.
And before we go a small picspam of suits that make me go GOTTVERDAMMT
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Suits in picspam are the work of Zegna, Ozwald Boatend, D&G and Dunhill.
Also, despite how long this may seem this is totally an express crash course. I didn't go heavily into collar pins (I love collar pins!), trouser pleating, or buttons (there is actually a big difference in quality), or hell buttons on the wrists of the suit or trouser hems. I could talk about lining for about a week. And I didn't do fabric swatches which is probably for the best, or coats, or casual wear, or real formal wear or fifteen thousand other things, but I hope it helped a bit.
ETA: A note about this post.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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