hackthis_archive (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hackthis_archive) wrote2003-01-21 03:38 pm
hackthis_archive) wrote2003-01-21 03:38 pm
Yet more birthday fic.
For you, yes, you ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bonibaru. You’re one of the best betas I’ve ever had. ;) Happy Birthday - two days early, I know.
Harry Potter
I. Sight
Harry thinks his eyes lie, but maybe that’s a spell.
Harry sees, he observes, but he doesn’t trust his eyes, because what he sees isn’t the same as what he knows deep in his heart.
Harry really doesn’t like to think about his heart and Malfoy at the same time because that’s just stupid, and Harry’s not stupid, but occasionally he does stupid stuff. Occasionally, Harry finds himself in the dark with Malfoy without the benefit of sight, and maybe that’s not a bad thing. Harry’s not sure what he would discover if he took the time to look hard enough. And yet that doesn’t stop him -- from looking that is.
He’s not sure anything could.
So instead Harry watches Malfoy across the Great Hall, and his hands move so little that it’s a bit off-putting. Minute movements of fork and knife, nothing but the utmost control otherwise. He doesn’t gesture like Hermione, and he doesn’t wave his arms about like Ron. Everything Malfoy does carries a certain elegance and economy of movement than Harry appreciates more than he can say.
Malfoy never apologises for who he is, what he is.
Harry thinks he wants to know what that's like. But at least Harry knows other things.
Harry knows how Malfoy’s eyes shine when Harry’s inside him. Harry knows that Malfoy closes his eyes with they kiss. Harry knows Malfoy in ways that words will never describe, and he understands Malfoy’s motivations even though he doesn’t really try.
Harry sees Malfoy every day, but it’s not the same as watching him.
And sometimes, if Harry waits long enough, Malfoy looks back.
II. Sound
Sometimes Malfoy makes sounds.
Harry can tell he doesn’t mean too. He knows this because afterwards, Malfoy will touch his mouth as though he’s said something amiss, as though the words will swoop down and kill him.
Those are the times that he tries to disguise his actions. He’ll bite Harry’s shoulder or kiss him hard. Anything to skip over the moment and act as though it never happened. Harry doesn’t really mind. His ears work perfectly even if his sight isn’t always so good, and later on he can replay those soft words at his leisure.
Malfoy’s voice is raspy and soft and hard and cutting all at the same time. And he says things. Sometimes they’re absolutely awful, and Harry pretends to be offended, but he’s not. Not really. Because Harry knows Malfoy says other things.
Once Malfoy called Harry’s name, his first name, and then promptly bit down on his bottom lip. There was blood, and Malfoy acted incredibly appalled, but it's hard to be appalled when someone is giving you a blow job. Of course if it’s at all possible Malfoy will do it, and so he did. Afterwards, Harry kissed Malfoy. Glasses in his pocket, and hands tangled in unseen hair, Harry kissed Malfoy with everything he had. Malfoy tasted of treacle and copper and restraint. His tongue flickered in Harry’s mouth like a candle about to go out, and he did everything in his power to resist the kiss. And yet he didn’t push Harry away. So Harry plunged forward, and he kissed the only way he knows how: with everything he has, and everything he might want.
And afterwards, Malfoy wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked disgusted, but he had called Harry’s name.
And Harry will always remember that, no matter what else Malfoy says.
III. Touch
Malfoy doesn’t have long nails.
Harry knows this because they share a workstation in Potions, and Harry watches intently when Malfoy cuts up their herbs and ingredients. Malfoy has long, thin fingers with perfectly shaped, half-moon nails that never go past the tips of his fingers.
Harry remembers this intently when Malfoy leaves long scratches on his back.
Harry is always marked.
Fingers and nails are all fine and well, but Harry likes it best when Malfoy touches him with his tongue. Licks along the veins in Harry’s forearms and across and down his torso. Wet lines above his groin and tracing the small of his back. Sometimes there are even teeth marks on the inside of Harry’s thighs and suck marks on his ribs.
Long, dotted lines that divide Harry into areas for Malfoy to conquer.
Sometimes Harry wants to tell Malfoy that he doesn’t have to break Harry into sections, that it’s okay to take him whole, but Malfoy always silences him before he can say anything. So Harry goes back to being quiet for as long as he can, until he’s on top and Malfoy is wrapped around. Arms, legs and hands, holding Harry as close as possible so that Malfoy can keep him divided.
As though that will keep them apart.
And at night, when he’s alone and safely hidden from Gryffindor prying eyes, Harry will go over the lines with the tips of his fingers. They burn and itch, and sometimes they’re too deep. Some of the cuts seep for hours afterwards, but that’s okay. Harry knows he’ll never tell Malfoy to stop because a little pain can go a long way, and at least Harry knows he’s alive.
Sometimes he forgets.
But never when they’re together.
IV. Smell
The smell of sex permeates Harry’s senses every waking hour of the day.
It’s not the smell of Malfoy, which is lavender, tea and something that might be talcum powder, or the smell of himself, which Harry can only describe as seventeen year-old boy. The smell of sex is much harsher and cloying, and it sticks to Harry like scent out of a bottle.
Sometimes the smell is stronger, like when they’re arguing in class or fighting each other on the Quidditch pitch. Other times it’s softer, like when Harry is studying his hexes for a battle that’s looming.
But it’s always there, lingering in the back of Harry’s mind.
Quite obviously it’s the heaviest when they’re together. When Harry’s hands are wrapped around Malfoy, pulling out the keening sounds that Malfoy hates to make. Or when Malfoy is wrapped around Harry’s back, nipping at Harry’s earlobe and slapping wetly against Harry’s skin.
But the oddest thing is that after times like those, when the smell is harshest, Harry goes back and puts on his robes, and they never seem to smell of anything at all.
If Harry didn't have Malfoy's scent in his nose, he might begin to question himself.
V. Taste
Malfoy gives Harry his first taste of a blood orange, and it’s quite possibly the most erotic thing Harry has ever experienced. Not the peeling of the orange, or the way that the juice almost squirts him in the eye, but the sight of Malfoy’s fingers working nimbly and quickly. The way the orange almost jumps out of its skin, as though it just wants Malfoy to touch it.
Harry knows that feeling very well.
And when Malfoy hands him the slice, reddish-purple and plump to the touch, Harry has to pause and watch as Malfoy chews. Even that's rather hot, and Harry thinks he might keel over when Malfoy licks his lips clean.
His tongue isn’t pink anymore, it’s red. Red like blood, only far less messy, and for a moment Harry forgets that he has an orange slice of his own. Eventually, after Malfoy stares at him for several long seconds, Harry catches on.
The orange is quite juicy and tart, yet sweet at the same time. Harry’s drawing horrifying parallels between the orange and Malfoy, and that’s probably what that wince on his face is about. Of course that look changes dramatically when Malfoy leans forward and kisses him, and Harry tastes Malfoy instead of the orange.
Not that Harry should be surprised. There’s something about Malfoy that always seems to break through to all of Harry’s senses no matter what.
-finis-
Thanks toethrosdemon for beta duty, all remaining fuck-ups are mine.
bonibaru. You’re one of the best betas I’ve ever had. ;) Happy Birthday - two days early, I know.Harry Potter
I. Sight
Harry thinks his eyes lie, but maybe that’s a spell.
Harry sees, he observes, but he doesn’t trust his eyes, because what he sees isn’t the same as what he knows deep in his heart.
Harry really doesn’t like to think about his heart and Malfoy at the same time because that’s just stupid, and Harry’s not stupid, but occasionally he does stupid stuff. Occasionally, Harry finds himself in the dark with Malfoy without the benefit of sight, and maybe that’s not a bad thing. Harry’s not sure what he would discover if he took the time to look hard enough. And yet that doesn’t stop him -- from looking that is.
He’s not sure anything could.
So instead Harry watches Malfoy across the Great Hall, and his hands move so little that it’s a bit off-putting. Minute movements of fork and knife, nothing but the utmost control otherwise. He doesn’t gesture like Hermione, and he doesn’t wave his arms about like Ron. Everything Malfoy does carries a certain elegance and economy of movement than Harry appreciates more than he can say.
Malfoy never apologises for who he is, what he is.
Harry thinks he wants to know what that's like. But at least Harry knows other things.
Harry knows how Malfoy’s eyes shine when Harry’s inside him. Harry knows that Malfoy closes his eyes with they kiss. Harry knows Malfoy in ways that words will never describe, and he understands Malfoy’s motivations even though he doesn’t really try.
Harry sees Malfoy every day, but it’s not the same as watching him.
And sometimes, if Harry waits long enough, Malfoy looks back.
II. Sound
Sometimes Malfoy makes sounds.
Harry can tell he doesn’t mean too. He knows this because afterwards, Malfoy will touch his mouth as though he’s said something amiss, as though the words will swoop down and kill him.
Those are the times that he tries to disguise his actions. He’ll bite Harry’s shoulder or kiss him hard. Anything to skip over the moment and act as though it never happened. Harry doesn’t really mind. His ears work perfectly even if his sight isn’t always so good, and later on he can replay those soft words at his leisure.
Malfoy’s voice is raspy and soft and hard and cutting all at the same time. And he says things. Sometimes they’re absolutely awful, and Harry pretends to be offended, but he’s not. Not really. Because Harry knows Malfoy says other things.
Once Malfoy called Harry’s name, his first name, and then promptly bit down on his bottom lip. There was blood, and Malfoy acted incredibly appalled, but it's hard to be appalled when someone is giving you a blow job. Of course if it’s at all possible Malfoy will do it, and so he did. Afterwards, Harry kissed Malfoy. Glasses in his pocket, and hands tangled in unseen hair, Harry kissed Malfoy with everything he had. Malfoy tasted of treacle and copper and restraint. His tongue flickered in Harry’s mouth like a candle about to go out, and he did everything in his power to resist the kiss. And yet he didn’t push Harry away. So Harry plunged forward, and he kissed the only way he knows how: with everything he has, and everything he might want.
And afterwards, Malfoy wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked disgusted, but he had called Harry’s name.
And Harry will always remember that, no matter what else Malfoy says.
III. Touch
Malfoy doesn’t have long nails.
Harry knows this because they share a workstation in Potions, and Harry watches intently when Malfoy cuts up their herbs and ingredients. Malfoy has long, thin fingers with perfectly shaped, half-moon nails that never go past the tips of his fingers.
Harry remembers this intently when Malfoy leaves long scratches on his back.
Harry is always marked.
Fingers and nails are all fine and well, but Harry likes it best when Malfoy touches him with his tongue. Licks along the veins in Harry’s forearms and across and down his torso. Wet lines above his groin and tracing the small of his back. Sometimes there are even teeth marks on the inside of Harry’s thighs and suck marks on his ribs.
Long, dotted lines that divide Harry into areas for Malfoy to conquer.
Sometimes Harry wants to tell Malfoy that he doesn’t have to break Harry into sections, that it’s okay to take him whole, but Malfoy always silences him before he can say anything. So Harry goes back to being quiet for as long as he can, until he’s on top and Malfoy is wrapped around. Arms, legs and hands, holding Harry as close as possible so that Malfoy can keep him divided.
As though that will keep them apart.
And at night, when he’s alone and safely hidden from Gryffindor prying eyes, Harry will go over the lines with the tips of his fingers. They burn and itch, and sometimes they’re too deep. Some of the cuts seep for hours afterwards, but that’s okay. Harry knows he’ll never tell Malfoy to stop because a little pain can go a long way, and at least Harry knows he’s alive.
Sometimes he forgets.
But never when they’re together.
IV. Smell
The smell of sex permeates Harry’s senses every waking hour of the day.
It’s not the smell of Malfoy, which is lavender, tea and something that might be talcum powder, or the smell of himself, which Harry can only describe as seventeen year-old boy. The smell of sex is much harsher and cloying, and it sticks to Harry like scent out of a bottle.
Sometimes the smell is stronger, like when they’re arguing in class or fighting each other on the Quidditch pitch. Other times it’s softer, like when Harry is studying his hexes for a battle that’s looming.
But it’s always there, lingering in the back of Harry’s mind.
Quite obviously it’s the heaviest when they’re together. When Harry’s hands are wrapped around Malfoy, pulling out the keening sounds that Malfoy hates to make. Or when Malfoy is wrapped around Harry’s back, nipping at Harry’s earlobe and slapping wetly against Harry’s skin.
But the oddest thing is that after times like those, when the smell is harshest, Harry goes back and puts on his robes, and they never seem to smell of anything at all.
If Harry didn't have Malfoy's scent in his nose, he might begin to question himself.
V. Taste
Malfoy gives Harry his first taste of a blood orange, and it’s quite possibly the most erotic thing Harry has ever experienced. Not the peeling of the orange, or the way that the juice almost squirts him in the eye, but the sight of Malfoy’s fingers working nimbly and quickly. The way the orange almost jumps out of its skin, as though it just wants Malfoy to touch it.
Harry knows that feeling very well.
And when Malfoy hands him the slice, reddish-purple and plump to the touch, Harry has to pause and watch as Malfoy chews. Even that's rather hot, and Harry thinks he might keel over when Malfoy licks his lips clean.
His tongue isn’t pink anymore, it’s red. Red like blood, only far less messy, and for a moment Harry forgets that he has an orange slice of his own. Eventually, after Malfoy stares at him for several long seconds, Harry catches on.
The orange is quite juicy and tart, yet sweet at the same time. Harry’s drawing horrifying parallels between the orange and Malfoy, and that’s probably what that wince on his face is about. Of course that look changes dramatically when Malfoy leans forward and kisses him, and Harry tastes Malfoy instead of the orange.
Not that Harry should be surprised. There’s something about Malfoy that always seems to break through to all of Harry’s senses no matter what.
-finis-
Thanks to
ethrosdemon for beta duty, all remaining fuck-ups are mine.
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Z - the shrine in my corner is so full now as to burst. You are so good to me. You write me fics, you let me read yours early, you show me the Whitney/Clark eyefucking *and* introduce me to Ryan Adams ...
It is the best early birthday ever :-D
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It is the best early birthday ever :-D
I give you nothing less than you deserve. I only wish I had more stories to tell, except you know, this week kinda busted my ass. where's the woobie icon when i need it... ;)
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Favourite line of many -- But the oddest thing is that after times like those, when the smell is harshest, Harry goes back and puts on his robes, and they never seem to smell of anything at all.
...which gives a dreamlike quality to the fic, and also (with lovely subtlety, you wonderful writer, you) reminds the reader of the distance between the two of them. *sigh*
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...which gives a dreamlike quality to the fic, and also (with lovely subtlety, you wonderful writer, you) reminds the reader of the distance between the two of them. *sigh*
I'm so glad that you liked this. Thank you :)
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yes! i love seeing things i believe myself, kind of showcased in fic, especially this yummy & well-written of a fic.
i think that's just so sweet and yet so -true-, not really forced. these things really say so much-- the little physical signs, all the things you can't have characters -say- to each other. in fact-- that's the downfall with dialogue-driven fics. because so much is said only with the body and with the senses.
he -would- close his eyes. yes. only with harry.
you can't pair draco with anyone else, and have that happen, i'm dead-certain of it. harry would of course, close his eyes with anyone.
which is why it's important that he keeps his eyes -open-, with draco, that he -watches-, that he -sees- him.
Malfoy will touch his mouth as though he’s said something amiss, as though the words will swoop down and kill him.
!!
*swoons*
you have the knack for making things just -resonate-, just ring like a bell, with these little touches. you're getting better, too, more comfortable with harry & draco, i think, your/their voice seems stronger.
i think it's more obvious in a body-language/senses-driven fic like this. i can just -feel- them.
Once Malfoy called Harry’s name, his first name, and then promptly bit down on his bottom lip. There was blood, and Malfoy acted incredibly appalled.
you are a fucking goddess, just for that. *is biased, doesn't care*
that is just-- just-- right. right. you know? right. the way it was said, and what it was saying.
you are writing them IN LOVE! in -love-, this time! yeay~:)
that is just -hot- and -true- and i love it so, so much. it is so -representative- of draco and i'm wonder-struck that you nailed it like that, with just a couple of sentences ^^
share a workstation
*snickers*
*is geek*
Sometimes he forgets.
But never when they’re together.
oh, sweetness!
and, blood oranges! that is so draco. so, so draco. it just-- yes. yes. *is inspired* also, i have this (http://www.core.binghamton.edu/~lorien/old/+flb.txt) association with blood oranges, which is a story by francesca lia block.
so yes. most definitely.
the blood and the tart and the juice and the kissing. kissing, kissing, kissing. there was a lot of blood/fluid/unsaid-word-tinged kissing in this~:)
which is how it should be.
kisses are really the ultimate in combining all the senses, and the heart as well. you and silvia and aja, and i don't need anyone else to make me adore h/d till the endtimes :D
~reena
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that is just-- just-- right. right. you know? right. the way it was said, and what it was saying.
you are writing them IN LOVE! in -love-, this time! yeay~:)
that is just -hot- and -true- and i love it so, so much. it is so -representative- of draco and i'm wonder-struck that you nailed it like that, with just a couple of sentences ^^
::looks at feedback. steps back to take in ALL of feedback::
so you liked this did you? ;) seriously though, i'm so glad that you did, because this was a pain in my ass to write. it seemed to happen so slowly (i'm used to everything just flowing until i can't keep up, but this i had to keep getting up and coming back to). doesn't matter now, i'm thrilled that you enjoyed it so much. thank you :)
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Re:
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This was lovely. Heh. I'm running out of things to say!
Sometimes it's the oddest lines that jump out at me. As hot as this is, for me this time it was this one:
Harry really doesn’t like to think about his heart and Malfoy at the same time because that’s just stupid, and Harry’s not stupid, but occasionally he does stupid stuff.
Yes. Mmm, you make me fall in love with Harry all over again just when I start forgetting him to go drool over other characters. Thank you for that.
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I'm glad you enjoyed this. The oddest thing for me is that you talk about loving Harry but I never have. Draco I adore. Ron, sure, but Harry, I've never been that keen on. I mean he has his own book for chrissakes. Everybody loves him. And yet, I can't stop writing him. Stupid boy with the big green eyes.
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I loved taste the best - the way the orange wants to jump out of its skin for him, wants to be touched by Malfoy. I love that line. I will remember that image, quite possibly always.
I wish I could drag you into the XX by your hair so I could force you to rp with me, perhaps daily. *G*
Thank you for writing.
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Oh, thank you so much for saying that because in a way it was the part I was worried about the most. This piece gave me fits while I was writing it, and when I got to the last part I had no idea what the hell to write about. The orange thing just *happened*, but I was worried the entire time that it didn't fit with the rest of the story. Thanks!
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i would say something witty and constructive and good right about now, if only i could find my brain.
i love this. i love the fact that they are so in character it aches and i love, i just love -it-.
does that work?
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does that work?
i'm sorry if i broke you, but i am terribly happy that you liked it :)
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now that I've found your work you will never be rid of me. This was achingly lovely. I especially liked the image of the blood orange.. citrus fetishes are very understandable to myself.
Long, dotted lines that divide Harry into areas for Malfoy to conquer.
Sometimes Harry wants to tell Malfoy that he doesn’t have to break Harry into sections, that it’s okay to take him whole..
Oh, my. This makes me think - well, some people, me included, have such sensitive skin that it turns red at the slightest touch. I can just see Malfoy dragging his nails across Harry, drawing a battle map for himself.
You are marvelous. Thank you. This was a beautiful fic.
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You are marvelous. Thank you. This was a beautiful fic.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it, thank you!
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Isn't that the truth. heh.
Malfoy never apologises for who he is, what he is.
Harry thinks he wants to know what that's like.
YesYesYesYes. Plus: yes? Oh, often such the crux of them, in my head.
He knows this because afterwards, Malfoy will touch his mouth as though he’s said something amiss, as though the words will swoop down and kill him.
Mmmmm... lovely, lovely line.
Afterwards, Harry kissed Malfoy. Glasses in his pocket, and hands tangled in unseen hair, Harry kissed Malfoy
Gorgeous mental image. guh. Thank you kindly.
and oh! oh! Fingernail mention! I have this THING for Draco's fingernails -- came from when I was writing my first h/d, legend.
It’s not the smell of Malfoy, which is lavender, tea and something that might be talcum powder
I like that. Yes. *nods* Draco should give off this subtle aristocrat, flat flavor.
and oh, brain BROKEN. Blood orange associations with Viggo/Orlando fiction, and oh. yes. that is SEX.
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It’s not the smell of Malfoy, which is lavender, tea and something that might be talcum powder
I like that. Yes. *nods* Draco should give off this subtle aristocrat, flat flavor.
and oh, brain BROKEN. Blood orange associations with Viggo/Orlando fiction, and oh. yes. that is SEX.
This story whupped my ass. Yes, seriously. It's been ages since I had to actually labour over something and this just wouldn't work with me. The blood orange actually came about after I had a look in my fridge - I have half a loaf of bread and 24 oranges (Farmer's Market). As for the Viggo/Orlando fic, I obviously need to be pointed in this direction. ;)
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I'll go look for it. *thinks hard*
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His tongue flickered in Harry’s mouth like a candle about to go out
You have a talent for imagery that I envy. This story is especially lovely because of it, I think. You manage to convey so much about the state of their relationship and their feelings for each other--more than either of them know, probably--through actions and reactions, not long, boring exposition. Plus, it's hot.*g*
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He’s not sure anything could.
*contented sigh* Beautiful.