hackthis_archive (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hackthis_archive) wrote2003-01-22 09:40 am
hackthis_archive) wrote2003-01-22 09:40 am
God can’t help you with this one
My SV people have probably realized this by now, but I have had my fingers and toes in a lot of other pies recently cos I have had no love for Smallville Season Two. We’re talking dead bored, and way past the no-love point. We're talking finished with trial separation and at the solicitors office with divorce papers in hand, pen at the ready and then WHAM!
It was a big old reprieve from Biller and Loeb.
What? Even I believe in miracles. Sometimes.
I know y’all are like where’s the recap, why are we getting no recap love? And the truth of the matter is I ain’t done recaps since the Desiree ‘Firestarter’ episode. I hadn’t actually thought this episode was gonna be worth it. I was wrong. I say it loud and clear for the people in the back. It was hot, y'all, so let’s raise some of those good old fashioned questions and/or highlights that made you say ‘What. The. Fuck.’
1. Bishop. Say it with me, y’all. Drag. Queen. Metropolis is obviously much more liberal than Smallville and you know everybody’s gotta make a living. Even when they’ve got a diploma from the Tammy Fay Baker School for Make-Up Application.
2. Bo Duke. Now that we have all firmly established the hypocrisy of the sack-o-platitudes, how much did y’all want Lex to make him get down on both knees and beg for that helicopter? Why did they deny me this gratification? Also, who stuck the hammer up his ass? He was even ruder than normal to Lex, and I didn’t even think that was possible. The man needs to learn this thing called 'tact.' Lex isn't the Luthor that spirited his wife away for a weekend of debauchery...um oops.
More on that later.
3. Lana. Does the child own no black clothing? I mean really. I only own three pieces of pink clothing, and she makes me want to burn them all.
4. Mrs. Small. She thinks the Talon is very well decorated. Is the woman blind? Maybe she’s into the Walk-like-an-Egyptian meets the Barbie dollhouse motif. Not me. Also, over protective of your really introverted and admitted crappy husband/father much? You think?
5. Tear The Roof Off! Lex. Heh. Why no Eminem soundtrack? Why the crappy-ass music for such a hot man? And they expect me to believe that he chose that music? Willingly? Ha! Y’all know Lex has some DMX just for occasions like this. That would’ve just been perfect. But I admit that they had me sold on this episode the minute Lex destroyed everything on his desk, cos PissedOff!Lex = HOT.
6. Minorities representing in the breaking-in department. See, we do have well paying jobs.
7. Clark on the roof of the Daily Planet. This Matrix moment was brought to you courtesy of the CGI department and everybody who’s camped out for The Matrix Reloaded. Am I the only one who didn't know he was afraid of heights? And nobody's written about this yet? Why not?
8. Lionel = Poodle. I thought perms were banned. Shoot his hairdresser.
9. Lionel doing the protective thing with Martha when Crook#2 shot Crook#1. Do you smell that kids? That’s the scent of an affair in the making. Or it would’ve been if Lionel weren’t so damn obvious. Y’all know that watch cost more than the entire farm most likely.
10. Clark with the hair cut? Who’s the new boy then? He sure is a hottie. ;) Seriously though, I’m so relieved they cut his hair, it was looking very Henry V.
11. Those Luthors are some good shots, huh? Who's blind again?
12. Props to Martha for a) being a sticky fingered hottie. Go on with your bad nicking the silver key, self. And b) here’s to her sticking the family secret in the tin of flour, cos obviously using the cookie jar won’t work. You know since Clark’s hands are in there every five seconds and we wouldn’t want the boy to mistake the disc for something and eat it. Like he’d even know.
13. I don't think we were quite obvious enough with our yearly re-enactment of the Jitters Happy Family scene. Shall we just run the footage back to back to make sure everybody got it?
14. It's not going to get any better than this. I can feel it. Shit.
It was a big old reprieve from Biller and Loeb.
What? Even I believe in miracles. Sometimes.
I know y’all are like where’s the recap, why are we getting no recap love? And the truth of the matter is I ain’t done recaps since the Desiree ‘Firestarter’ episode. I hadn’t actually thought this episode was gonna be worth it. I was wrong. I say it loud and clear for the people in the back. It was hot, y'all, so let’s raise some of those good old fashioned questions and/or highlights that made you say ‘What. The. Fuck.’
1. Bishop. Say it with me, y’all. Drag. Queen. Metropolis is obviously much more liberal than Smallville and you know everybody’s gotta make a living. Even when they’ve got a diploma from the Tammy Fay Baker School for Make-Up Application.
2. Bo Duke. Now that we have all firmly established the hypocrisy of the sack-o-platitudes, how much did y’all want Lex to make him get down on both knees and beg for that helicopter? Why did they deny me this gratification? Also, who stuck the hammer up his ass? He was even ruder than normal to Lex, and I didn’t even think that was possible. The man needs to learn this thing called 'tact.' Lex isn't the Luthor that spirited his wife away for a weekend of debauchery...um oops.
More on that later.
3. Lana. Does the child own no black clothing? I mean really. I only own three pieces of pink clothing, and she makes me want to burn them all.
4. Mrs. Small. She thinks the Talon is very well decorated. Is the woman blind? Maybe she’s into the Walk-like-an-Egyptian meets the Barbie dollhouse motif. Not me. Also, over protective of your really introverted and admitted crappy husband/father much? You think?
5. Tear The Roof Off! Lex. Heh. Why no Eminem soundtrack? Why the crappy-ass music for such a hot man? And they expect me to believe that he chose that music? Willingly? Ha! Y’all know Lex has some DMX just for occasions like this. That would’ve just been perfect. But I admit that they had me sold on this episode the minute Lex destroyed everything on his desk, cos PissedOff!Lex = HOT.
6. Minorities representing in the breaking-in department. See, we do have well paying jobs.
7. Clark on the roof of the Daily Planet. This Matrix moment was brought to you courtesy of the CGI department and everybody who’s camped out for The Matrix Reloaded. Am I the only one who didn't know he was afraid of heights? And nobody's written about this yet? Why not?
8. Lionel = Poodle. I thought perms were banned. Shoot his hairdresser.
9. Lionel doing the protective thing with Martha when Crook#2 shot Crook#1. Do you smell that kids? That’s the scent of an affair in the making. Or it would’ve been if Lionel weren’t so damn obvious. Y’all know that watch cost more than the entire farm most likely.
10. Clark with the hair cut? Who’s the new boy then? He sure is a hottie. ;) Seriously though, I’m so relieved they cut his hair, it was looking very Henry V.
11. Those Luthors are some good shots, huh? Who's blind again?
12. Props to Martha for a) being a sticky fingered hottie. Go on with your bad nicking the silver key, self. And b) here’s to her sticking the family secret in the tin of flour, cos obviously using the cookie jar won’t work. You know since Clark’s hands are in there every five seconds and we wouldn’t want the boy to mistake the disc for something and eat it. Like he’d even know.
13. I don't think we were quite obvious enough with our yearly re-enactment of the Jitters Happy Family scene. Shall we just run the footage back to back to make sure everybody got it?
14. It's not going to get any better than this. I can feel it. Shit.
no subject
Hell, yeah. It's about damn time and there wasn't nearly enough groveling. But I did like that tiny mean smirk Lex had on his face. I do hope (yes, I know I shouldn't) that Lex and Jonathan dynamic will change. I'd hate to see Lex going back to trying to earn Jonathan's respect again because let's face it, Jonathan's stubborn ass self isn't worth the pain.
no subject
Lex is entirely too good for everyone but Martha. Really.
Re:
no subject
no subject
no subject
That's the sucking sound of Smallville dragging you back into the vortex of pretty comic book boys.
Bee hee hee.