Get your random movie slash here.

[hackthis_archive]

Fight Club
Sexuality by Ikea


My balls itch, and I think I might be catching something from sleeping on the same damp mattress for the last couple of months. Mold cures syphilis, but it probably doesn't do anything for crabs. Not that I could have caught crabs from anybody since I'm not having sex, but I scratch absently mindedly through my clothes, and sometimes not so absent-mindedly when I'm on the bus.

I just itch, although that could be from something else.

I use the bushes out back to take a leak since the toilet upstairs doesn't work anymore. The drain's all clogged up with used condoms, and the Project Mayhem boys watch all this with detached amusement. Tyler's been fucking Marla on something like a regular basis apparently, but I don't see her around. It has to be her though, because it can't possibly be anybody else.

The house has turned into a fucking army base and there's always people coming in and out.

I have no idea what the fuck they're doing.

I am Jack's Complete and Utter Denial.

~ FC ~

There are huge vats of liposuctioned Barbie waste in my kitchen, and it keeps fucking with my appetite. I've started avoiding the ground floor as much as possible, and I've taken to eating cereal out the box. The thought of eating anything remotely watery or wobbly reminds me of Ziploc bags and women washing their faces with fat they've just paid thousands of dollars to have sucked out. It's kind poetic in a sick, very Tyler kind of way.

Everything reminds me of Tyler, in a Tyler kind of way.

There are prep school rejects and garbage men waiting on my front steps when I come home, and that angel faced blonde kid is always around. He doesn't seem to get the message, but you'd think that since I'd gone to so much trouble to rearrange his face, he might want to stay out of mine. He doesn't. I wish Tyler would fucking get rid of him, but if I said anything then Tyler would keep him for sure just to spite me.

I have no idea why the fuck this kid sticks around.

He's a puppy that likes being abused.

I can barely remember what he looked like before.

I am Jack's Sense of Aesthetic Preservation.

~ FC ~

Tyler shuffles around wearing dead animals and a pink, fuzzy robe and everybody loves him. I wear rags and black eyes, and nobody even knows my fucking name. For all those people who aren't talking about Fight Club, there's certainly a lot of activity going on. There are a lot of fucking guys saying 'yes sir,' and since when the fuck was Tyler called 'sir' by anybody?

Tyler is just some fucking nut who can't find anything great about the world, so he beats up pretty boys and fucks messed up girls.

Tyler Durden is no one to aspire to be; only the blonde kid doesn't understand that. Tyler is out for Tyler and no one else. He wears Hustler shirts and pours lye over open wounds. Tyler is everything that's wrong with today's society; I mean we're talking about a guy who asked me to join in with a threesome while wearing Rubbermaid gloves. I've never been into that stuff. I don't share well, and I still don't understand why that kid sticks around. There's no future for him here. Tyler cares about two things, Fight Club and Project Mayhem.

He doesn't even care about me, which is probably why I hate it when he picks the kid over me.

I hate rejection.

I am Jack's Missing Heterosexuality

-finis-


Notes: Yes, I know everybody's looking for the Ocean's Eleven slash, and I actually had quite a bit written, and then I lost the entire file on Friday and am still in shock. I have not forgotten guys. Really, you can ask fearlessdiva

Comments

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

I join you in shock!

But this help assuage the pain on my end, at least.

[opprobrium.livejournal.com]

Everything reminds me of Tyler, in a Tyler kind of way.

Sexcellent.

[minitrog.livejournal.com]

I lost the entire file on Friday and am still in shock

Fuck. Fuck a blue duck!

Aw hon. What a pain in the arse...

Here, have some chocolate. XX

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I lost the entire file on Friday and am still in shock

Fuck. Fuck a blue duck!

Aw hon. What a pain in the arse...

Here, have some chocolate. XX

::hugs the chocolate::

I shall love it, and hug it, and call it George.

[paranoidkitten.livejournal.com]

Mmm, lovely.

[pastiche.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about the file going missing... but knowing you it'll be ten times better the second time round :)

This fic. It's the first 'Fight Club' fic I've read. Great voice. I laughed. Was I supposed to laugh?


I hate rejection.

I am Jack's Missing Heterosexuality


I think everyone just said to themselves 'Soooo not me.'

[cacklebang.livejournal.com]

(nefeleo mentioned this, so..)

Absolutely love it. Just out of curiosity, have you based it more on the movie or the book?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Absolutely love it. Just out of curiosity, have you based it more on the movie or the book?

Movie over the book simply for the looks between Ed Norton, Brad Pitt and Jared Leto in the garage after they nearly cut off the govenor's balls. That's not Jack's Regret, that's Jack's Repressed Homosexuality. I'm a pit peeved the movie changed it from Joe to Jack, but otherwise I love them both.

[cacklebang.livejournal.com]

Okay. Just wanted to know, because your style is reminiscent of the book, in a very good way.

The book is pretty damn gay, too, though. ::is random::

[cyclogenesis.livejournal.com]

::clings:: I am slowly but surely working my way through the backlog. Damn, you prolific. Further feedback will come eventually, only I might have to be a cheap whore and just do it in the form of recs in my journal.

Meanwhile, this is so charmingly fucked up. Disturbingly fucked up? It has a disturbing, fucked up charm. Yes. I like how the end bits punctuate, it transitions very smoothly.

I am Jack's Sense of Aesthetic Preservation.

Yes, yes. Nice.

I am Jack's Missing Heterosexuality.

And there we go, bringing it all back with the slash and the creepiness and the goodness.

Yes, good. I love it when you get all multi-fandom. (er, more so than usual)