hackthis_archive ([personal profile] hackthis_archive) wrote2003-02-18 12:33 pm
Entry tags:

Drabbleish

It’s going to be an exceptionally long week. It's only Tuesday. Still, my Lex, he's persistent bastard. Every time I insist that I have RL shit to do, he insists that I owe him attention and love and devotion. Y'all know, all the stuff that he's being denied by the mean people on network telly who won't let him get some action.

Wankers.

Smallville
On Something Like Being Single


One toothbrush.

One pair of bedroom slippers.

One sink with soapy film around the edges.

One person coming home to an empty penthouse every night of the week.

Lex thinks he's always been alone. The only thing that's ever changed is the forwarding address for his attorney's monthly statement.

*

Clark comes to visit, and he leaves his sneakers all over the place.

The first fifty times that Lex trips over them, he doesn't mind. His toes do.

Lex buys different shoes in the same size, and he leaves them lying around to remind him of what it's like when there's someone else there.

He doesn't think that Clark notices.

He's wrong.

*

One cup of coffee in the morning with two sugars and whole milk.

One bowl of cereal.

Sometimes, instead of cereal, Lex will have eggs.

Nobody ever has just one egg.

*

Lex is in love with his best friend, but he pretends that that's irrelevant.

What's important is Clark's friendship. The companionship he gives to Lex. It's like a mutually beneficial business relationship, and Clark's company, or the company that always seems to be with Clark: his friends and his family and his staff job on the Met U student paper that he's always talking about, they're another part of what makes Clark so valuable.

Clark has a whole world, and Lex is just one little part, so Lex will never ask for more from Clark.

He will never ask for help.

Lex has always been on his own.

He doesn't expect that to ever change.

*

Lex buys Clark's favorite DVDs even though he hates Bill and Ted and will never understand the thrill of 'Hoosiers.' He does like Gene Hackman, however, so he's more tolerant than he might be otherwise.

He bought Goonies for himself though, and he knows where Data's Bullet Blinders went wrong.

On the nights that he's not mocking Metropolis society or catering to those whims he doesn't really care about anymore, Lex sits at home and watches TV.

He prefers his popcorn with salt over butter, and on Thursdays he watches Survivor and CSI back to back.

He has a Tivo, but he doesn't use it that much.

Sometimes Clark comes over and they watch television together. Lex keeps the buttered popcorn for those occasions.

No one was ever won over by slick, buttered fingers and kernels of corn.

Clark has always been different.

*

The problem with the penthouse is that it's just that, a house.

A house and a home are not the same thing.

Lex did have a home once, for three days, but the only reason he had that is because he was expelled by the only family he's ever known.

For some people home and family are synonymous.

For Lex, not so much so.

If home is where the heart is, there's some concern that Lex's heart died along with his mother, thirteen years ago.

*

He's not lonely; he's just alone.

There is a difference.

Some things are meant to be.

Some things change of their own accord.

*

Lex buys Clark's favorite cereal even though he doesn't like Corn Pops.

Sometimes Lex eats them for breakfast even though he has more than enough sugar in his coffee.

They don't taste bad, but they don't taste good either.

He doesn't try to explain when Clark starts sleeping on the sofa, and they have breakfast together in the morning.

*

Clark says Lex needs to stop working so hard.

Clark says Lex needs to take a vacation.

Clark says a lot of things.

Clark is never with Lex on the nights that he's home alone.

Clark never says that Lex needs to find someone else.

*

Lex is subtle.

Other people are more obvious.

*

One day the pair of shoes on the living room floor aren't ones that Lex bought.

The next day, the number of empty bowls in the sink moves from three to five.

The day after that, Clark goes back to classes, and Lex goes back to work.

Clark is there when Lex gets home.

It's not quite expected and not quite comfortable.

Lex isn't sure how he feels about a change in his regime.

*

Two toothbrushes in the bathroom.

Silk and cotton boxers in the top drawer.

There's shaving cream in the cabinet, and shampoo in the shower.

Clark says that he's not moving in; he's being smart.

Lex just nods his head and goes back to making enough dinner for two.

He doesn't always have to be alone.


-finis-

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Subtle changes in their relationship! Nicely handeled. Showed Lex's loneliness and the lengths he goes to to feel a little less alone.

And, the happy ending of course!


I know *another* happy ending. Damnit. I have to work on that *g*

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:20 pm (UTC)(link)
*sniff*

It just gets better with more readings.


Well thank you, I'm glad you think so.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
*prostrate, melt, sob, etc. etc. etc*

...Okay. You left me feeling dreaming and broken.

Where's my porn, yo?

PS - omigosh that was so good.


I really am beginning to worry about y'all's mental state for real. Also, porn? Um no. I don't write porn. We've been over this.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
So much love for you, and for this piece. Just absolutely perfect. I am in complete awe of your skill, and the way you wrap the words around the emotions... it's just beautiful, so touching and moving and fulfilling. I almost always feel good at the end of your stories, even if I feel bad, too. You're wonderful!

::looks extremely bashful::

me? dude, when you read your stories i feel this need to prepare myself by removing my heart and trying to hide it where you're least likely to stab it repeatedly. um, but that is a good thing. just a wee FYI. *you* are a brilliant writer, and i'm thrilled that you like anything i do.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow. I love this fic. ^_^

Thank you *vbg*

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:27 pm (UTC)(link)
If loneliness is that feeling where your chest is too tight and you can't breathe enough, then I think you've captured it perfectly.

Well, it's either that or bronchitis! Seriously though, I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thank you.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. You make us hurt so deliciously.

He bought Goonies for himself though, and he knows where Data’s Bullet Blinders went wrong.

That just made me grin. Right before you made me sob again. Evil.


Goonies is the ultimate geek film, and Lex well, he's a geek. A very hot, rich one, but a geek nonetheless. ::pauses:: In a great freudian slip I just typed, nonethelexx. Says it all really.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...the structure, the pace, the tone, the...damn. Just Lex and being broken and surprised when someone wants to fix him.

I loved this. And the egg, and Hackman, and everything everyone's already quoted. Amazing.


Everybody loves the egg. That cracks me up. I mean *I* love the egg, but probably because it makes me think of Monty Python and Reality Bites, and I'm really very twisted. I'm babbling. Thank you, I'm glad you liked this.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Could I love you any more?

See, I keep thinking "No, of course not." But then you post something else and I do.

This was lovely. Woobie!Lex is a lovely thing.


Aw, thank you *g*

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know what to say. When I read damn good fanfic like this, I'm just Damn, you rock. How bout that?*g*

Your icon just made me goggle. In the good way not in the search engine way. Whoa. Flashback!

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
You are so fucking brilliant. I was skimming past this entry for hours because I am no longer as enamoured of the Smallville as I was but I broke and I'm glad I did. You broke my heart with Nobody ever has just one egg. and I don't even know how you did it! But it's making me ache inside for Lex and the whole thing is just genius. Just, wow.

::shrieks:: It's Mr. Darcy! Ahhhhhhhh! Oh, Colin Firth is so hot. Just. Phwoar. Yeah, uh huh. What? Also, one does not have to love SV to love Lex. Trust me on this one ;)

Re: sigh

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, on occasion, with some authors, I can send feedback that is witty and insightful.

You, on the other hand, have the disturbing ability to turn me into a babbling, incoherent puddle of 'guh'.

So, let me just say, "Guh". And while I'm at it:


I take what I can get, and 'guh' suits me just fine. I'm glad you liked this, thank you. *g*

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Whoa, I just had a severe attack of the precious little kittens. Because they *are*, yo.

Just, the shoes, man. Sofuckingcute. And


The shoes. Dude, the shoes just fell and hit me on the head, I dunno *where* they came from. Also, stop being all hot in your icon, it's distracting for us straight chicks, you know ;)
ext_2524: do what you like (Default)

Re:

[identity profile] slodwick.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
squee!

big ol' mutual love! *g*

Re:

[identity profile] rageprufrock.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I've been worried about my mental state for years.

"Write porn" is like my all purpose response to anything nowadays, actually. "Hey, Pru, what's wrong with the car?" "What? Huh? Write porn! What? Shiny! Jesus Christ!"

...it's been a weird day.

Re:

[identity profile] thehoyden.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
*grins* Well, it is bronchitis, but sometimes it's that middle of the night loneliness, too.

Re:

[identity profile] ilexa.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh yes, Lex can be very real when he wants to be *g*

Ah, very true. Yet not real enough sometimes. :::sigh:::

[identity profile] cyclogenesis.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Also, stop being all hot in your icon, it's distracting for us straight chicks, you know ;)

Bwa. You should see the icons I decided not to go for.

Also, all the cool kids are bisexual, Zahra. Come on, just try it, it's not addictive, really. ::peer pressure::

[identity profile] lifeinwords.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
What's important is Clark's friendship. The companionship he gives to Lex. It's like a mutually beneficial business relationship, and Clark's company, or the company that always seems to be with Clark: his friends and his family and his staff job on the Met U student paper that he's always talking about, they're another part of what makes Clark so valuable.

Clark has a whole world, and Lex is just one little part, so Lex will never ask for more from Clark.


this was actually my favorite part, although i liked the egg and the meta-parts too. just...how clark can be a doorway into a world lex thinks he will/can never have, and that's where the desperate isolation really hit me. i liked the sparseness as well, especially since i can never seem to manage it myself, though sometimes i think terseness/brevity can edge near to cliche, if that makes any sense. the deadpan, straightforward tone really works, but as a reader i felt myself detaching from

If home is where the heart is, there's some concern that Lex's heart died along with his mother, thirteen years ago.


because, no matter how much i love w00bie!lex, it felt...i'm not sure. like i feel every scene in which lex bemoans his cruel life and i know i cringe because it's become a fanon trope as well as a canon one: poor, misunderstood lex, forever broken by his mother's death. and i know that's a completely personal response, rather than a real critique, but i'm currently trying to figure out how to work beyond/avoid/transform those cliches in my own work (like the line, "come for me." had no
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<bidea</b>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<i>What's important is Clark's friendship. The companionship he gives to Lex. It's like a mutually beneficial business relationship, and Clark's company, or the company that always seems to be with Clark: his friends and his family and his staff job on the Met U student paper that he's always talking about, they're another part of what makes Clark so valuable.

Clark has a whole world, and Lex is just one little part, so Lex will never ask for more from Clark.
</i>

this was actually <i>my</i> favorite part, although i liked the egg and the meta-parts too. just...how clark can be a doorway into a world lex thinks he will/can never have, and that's where the desperate isolation really hit me. i liked the sparseness as well, especially since i can never seem to manage it myself, though sometimes i think terseness/brevity can edge near to cliche, if that makes any sense. the deadpan, straightforward tone really works, but as a reader i felt myself detaching from

<i>If home is where the heart is, there's some concern that Lex's heart died along with his mother, thirteen years ago.
</i>

because, no matter how much i love w00bie!lex, it felt...i'm not sure. like i feel every scene in which lex bemoans his cruel life and i <i>know</i> i cringe because it's become a fanon trope as well as a canon one: poor, misunderstood lex, forever broken by his mother's death. and i know that's a completely personal response, rather than a real critique, but i'm currently trying to figure out how to work beyond/avoid/transform those cliches in my own work (like the line, "come for me." had no <bidea</b> it was everywhere, and now i almost want to take it out of my story)...

i suppose i'm saying that that one line felt off to me, like too much or too obvious. not that you asked, but i'm trying to give more coherent and specific fb lately. to reiterate: i like it a lot. thanks for avoiding the call of RL. *g*

[identity profile] serrico.livejournal.com 2003-02-18 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Aww! *sniffle*

Lex deludes himself too much. I do so love it when you peel back the fantasies--so, so slowly--and leave him *happy*. :)

[identity profile] sinisterf.livejournal.com 2003-02-19 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
You said earlier in one of your responses that you thought no one would like this because it is spartan... well that is why I like it. It is amazing how much can be said or imparted with so little and it really takes someone who knows emotions to write in this way while still saying so much.

[identity profile] aelora.livejournal.com 2003-02-19 08:33 am (UTC)(link)
Everyone has already said anything I can think to say. All I can add is 'ditto'. And {{{HUGS}}} for giving us this.

And crying at work is not good for proving sanity.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-19 09:49 am (UTC)(link)
because, no matter how much i love w00bie!lex, it felt...i'm not sure. like i feel every scene in which lex bemoans his cruel life and i know i cringe because it's become a fanon trope as well as a canon one: poor, misunderstood lex, forever broken by his mother's death. and i know that's a completely personal response, rather than a real critique, but i'm currently trying to figure out how to work beyond/avoid/transform those cliches in my own work (like the line, "come for me." had no it was everywhere, and now i almost want to take it out of my story)...

point taken and processed. no, i don't mean in the 'oh, i am so bitter and how dare you critique me' way. i mean more in the 'good point that, and how much can you beat one dead horse anyway.' as for the poor misunderstood lex, well, yes that is my ship of choice, but i agree this it is time for it to get a new sail to fly upon. thanks!

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-19 09:50 am (UTC)(link)
Aww! *sniffle*

Lex deludes himself too much. I do so love it when you peel back the fantasies--so, so slowly--and leave him *happy*. :)


Lex must be happy. For that idea alone, it's clear I'm in denial. ::pets Lex:: Poor baby.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2003-02-19 09:52 am (UTC)(link)
You said earlier in one of your responses that you thought no one would like this because it is spartan... well that is why I like it. It is amazing how much can be said or imparted with so little and it really takes someone who knows emotions to write in this way while still saying so much.

Thank you so much. It means a lot of me that you found this so convincing.

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