hackthis_archive (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hackthis_archive) wrote2003-02-24 05:36 pm
hackthis_archive) wrote2003-02-24 05:36 pm
It's like that too.
There are a shedload of people on my friend of list, and I have no idea why. I’m just some mindless bint with terrible spelling. I think you people might be looking for somebody else. You should check the LJ across the hall.
Random thoughts of the day:
When I write I do it for lots of reasons: I do it as entertainment; to alleviate the boredom of my job; to make my friends laugh at the warpedness of my brain, and sometimes I do it to clear my head. The majority of my writing is an attempt to exorcise something that I want to discuss, or something that I think and can’t always be arsed to say. Sometimes there are points I want to make. Sometimes there are demons that won’t go away, and some days I worry that I’ve become this machine that doesn’t have anything worth while to say anymore. The day I stop writing for *me* is the day I quit, but for now I might have to take a sabbatical.
Yes, I will have to think on that a bit.
But in the interest of navel gazing R’us I’m going to dissect my top five, all time, ‘I can't even blame the drugs and those are some horrible shit’ stories. Okay, that may not be completely truthful as the ones that seriously offend my sensibilities I have effectively erased from my life and all archives I’ve been able to get my hands on: Mourning, Borrowed Time, (I) Might be Wrong, and there’s one more, but I don’t remember the name of it now. Heh. That erasing shit is working. Of course those are all SV stories, but that’s also my most prolific fandom so it only stands to reason that I produce the most shit there. (Sorry, guys)
Now, in addition to those stories I pick these five. Please keep in mind that I am not looking for anybody to tell me otherwise (this is not a cry for memememe), I’m just saying that for whatever reasons these stories make me wince and reach for the Kaopectate.
5. Harry Potter I Tripped Over a Seeker Afraid of Heights
My intentions for this story were good. Okay, the concept was good, probably because I stole it from some comment Silvia made about Draco being afraid of heights. But when I look back on this story I just think this is what happens when you have no idea what you’re trying to say. It sucks. Probably why it can’t be found anywhere anymore.
4. Smallville. The Unexpected V: Playing Along
Jayne said this was her least favorite part of the series and I can see why. A playground? Clark acting five? Oh, dear god what was I thinking? Actually I wasn’t thinking and I know that for a fact. I wrote all six parts of this in like eight days on some rush of feedback because people liked ‘The Unexpected’ and I had never had a response like that in my life. Yes, just like a young neurotic actor I just kept writing instead of stepping back and thinking for two seconds. This is how people end up in Betty Ford
3. Smallville Neopaganism
I should not write about religion. I should not write about Whitney. When the two get together to discuss Clark, surefire bad news.
2. Angel: the Series Father and Sons
In the story’s defense this was my first fandom and I was just starting out, but any story that has this as a summary should be abandoned before it leaves the starting gate. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. Damn. Poor Wesley.
1. Smallville Just Looking
I’m a concept girl, I always have been. There are people who can come up with huge, sweeping great plots and have them work out brilliantly. I ain’t like that. There are people who can write smut as well and have it be hot and sexy and said people really should provide a change of knickers with their story. There are people that can do both of these things in long, sweeping epics and have the whole business turn out amazingly.
I am not this person. I am not this writer.
When I try and do shit I’m not good at we get things like this story. Notice how it just abruptly *ends* because at 26 pages I still had no idea what the fuck was going on and just decided to end it. Yeah. That’s a surefire sucky piece of writing.
Honorable mention goes to: Smallville - ‘Are You Experienced’ and ‘If Only’ (that's the other deleted story that I forgot)
However.
As much as I bitch and moan there are some things that I'm glad I wrote. I think it could be called pride.
Smallville: Fallible Theory
Harry Potter: The Crush Trilogy, The Almost Legend of Draco Malfoy, Je N'en Connais Pas La Fin
Angel/Buffy: Faith & Freud: The Series; Deconstruction
LOTRips: Defined by Art
Yes, I think I'll take a break for a bit.
Random thoughts of the day:
When I write I do it for lots of reasons: I do it as entertainment; to alleviate the boredom of my job; to make my friends laugh at the warpedness of my brain, and sometimes I do it to clear my head. The majority of my writing is an attempt to exorcise something that I want to discuss, or something that I think and can’t always be arsed to say. Sometimes there are points I want to make. Sometimes there are demons that won’t go away, and some days I worry that I’ve become this machine that doesn’t have anything worth while to say anymore. The day I stop writing for *me* is the day I quit, but for now I might have to take a sabbatical.
Yes, I will have to think on that a bit.
But in the interest of navel gazing R’us I’m going to dissect my top five, all time, ‘I can't even blame the drugs and those are some horrible shit’ stories. Okay, that may not be completely truthful as the ones that seriously offend my sensibilities I have effectively erased from my life and all archives I’ve been able to get my hands on: Mourning, Borrowed Time, (I) Might be Wrong, and there’s one more, but I don’t remember the name of it now. Heh. That erasing shit is working. Of course those are all SV stories, but that’s also my most prolific fandom so it only stands to reason that I produce the most shit there. (Sorry, guys)
Now, in addition to those stories I pick these five. Please keep in mind that I am not looking for anybody to tell me otherwise (this is not a cry for memememe), I’m just saying that for whatever reasons these stories make me wince and reach for the Kaopectate.
5. Harry Potter I Tripped Over a Seeker Afraid of Heights
My intentions for this story were good. Okay, the concept was good, probably because I stole it from some comment Silvia made about Draco being afraid of heights. But when I look back on this story I just think this is what happens when you have no idea what you’re trying to say. It sucks. Probably why it can’t be found anywhere anymore.
4. Smallville. The Unexpected V: Playing Along
Jayne said this was her least favorite part of the series and I can see why. A playground? Clark acting five? Oh, dear god what was I thinking? Actually I wasn’t thinking and I know that for a fact. I wrote all six parts of this in like eight days on some rush of feedback because people liked ‘The Unexpected’ and I had never had a response like that in my life. Yes, just like a young neurotic actor I just kept writing instead of stepping back and thinking for two seconds. This is how people end up in Betty Ford
3. Smallville Neopaganism
I should not write about religion. I should not write about Whitney. When the two get together to discuss Clark, surefire bad news.
2. Angel: the Series Father and Sons
In the story’s defense this was my first fandom and I was just starting out, but any story that has this as a summary should be abandoned before it leaves the starting gate. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. Damn. Poor Wesley.
1. Smallville Just Looking
I’m a concept girl, I always have been. There are people who can come up with huge, sweeping great plots and have them work out brilliantly. I ain’t like that. There are people who can write smut as well and have it be hot and sexy and said people really should provide a change of knickers with their story. There are people that can do both of these things in long, sweeping epics and have the whole business turn out amazingly.
I am not this person. I am not this writer.
When I try and do shit I’m not good at we get things like this story. Notice how it just abruptly *ends* because at 26 pages I still had no idea what the fuck was going on and just decided to end it. Yeah. That’s a surefire sucky piece of writing.
Honorable mention goes to: Smallville - ‘Are You Experienced’ and ‘If Only’ (that's the other deleted story that I forgot)
However.
As much as I bitch and moan there are some things that I'm glad I wrote. I think it could be called pride.
Smallville: Fallible Theory
Harry Potter: The Crush Trilogy, The Almost Legend of Draco Malfoy, Je N'en Connais Pas La Fin
Angel/Buffy: Faith & Freud: The Series; Deconstruction
LOTRips: Defined by Art
Yes, I think I'll take a break for a bit.
no subject
I didn't want to log into my mail since it takes a week of Sundays on this machine. Just popping my head up. I will be home this afternoon.