It's like that too.
Feb. 24th, 2003 05:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveThere are a shedload of people on my friend of list, and I have no idea why. I’m just some mindless bint with terrible spelling. I think you people might be looking for somebody else. You should check the LJ across the hall.
Random thoughts of the day:
When I write I do it for lots of reasons: I do it as entertainment; to alleviate the boredom of my job; to make my friends laugh at the warpedness of my brain, and sometimes I do it to clear my head. The majority of my writing is an attempt to exorcise something that I want to discuss, or something that I think and can’t always be arsed to say. Sometimes there are points I want to make. Sometimes there are demons that won’t go away, and some days I worry that I’ve become this machine that doesn’t have anything worth while to say anymore. The day I stop writing for *me* is the day I quit, but for now I might have to take a sabbatical.
Yes, I will have to think on that a bit.
But in the interest of navel gazing R’us I’m going to dissect my top five, all time, ‘I can't even blame the drugs and those are some horrible shit’ stories. Okay, that may not be completely truthful as the ones that seriously offend my sensibilities I have effectively erased from my life and all archives I’ve been able to get my hands on: Mourning, Borrowed Time, (I) Might be Wrong, and there’s one more, but I don’t remember the name of it now. Heh. That erasing shit is working. Of course those are all SV stories, but that’s also my most prolific fandom so it only stands to reason that I produce the most shit there. (Sorry, guys)
Now, in addition to those stories I pick these five. Please keep in mind that I am not looking for anybody to tell me otherwise (this is not a cry for memememe), I’m just saying that for whatever reasons these stories make me wince and reach for the Kaopectate.
5. Harry Potter I Tripped Over a Seeker Afraid of Heights
My intentions for this story were good. Okay, the concept was good, probably because I stole it from some comment Silvia made about Draco being afraid of heights. But when I look back on this story I just think this is what happens when you have no idea what you’re trying to say. It sucks. Probably why it can’t be found anywhere anymore.
4. Smallville. The Unexpected V: Playing Along
Jayne said this was her least favorite part of the series and I can see why. A playground? Clark acting five? Oh, dear god what was I thinking? Actually I wasn’t thinking and I know that for a fact. I wrote all six parts of this in like eight days on some rush of feedback because people liked ‘The Unexpected’ and I had never had a response like that in my life. Yes, just like a young neurotic actor I just kept writing instead of stepping back and thinking for two seconds. This is how people end up in Betty Ford
3. Smallville Neopaganism
I should not write about religion. I should not write about Whitney. When the two get together to discuss Clark, surefire bad news.
2. Angel: the Series Father and Sons
In the story’s defense this was my first fandom and I was just starting out, but any story that has this as a summary should be abandoned before it leaves the starting gate. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. Damn. Poor Wesley.
1. Smallville Just Looking
I’m a concept girl, I always have been. There are people who can come up with huge, sweeping great plots and have them work out brilliantly. I ain’t like that. There are people who can write smut as well and have it be hot and sexy and said people really should provide a change of knickers with their story. There are people that can do both of these things in long, sweeping epics and have the whole business turn out amazingly.
I am not this person. I am not this writer.
When I try and do shit I’m not good at we get things like this story. Notice how it just abruptly *ends* because at 26 pages I still had no idea what the fuck was going on and just decided to end it. Yeah. That’s a surefire sucky piece of writing.
Honorable mention goes to: Smallville - ‘Are You Experienced’ and ‘If Only’ (that's the other deleted story that I forgot)
However.
As much as I bitch and moan there are some things that I'm glad I wrote. I think it could be called pride.
Smallville: Fallible Theory
Harry Potter: The Crush Trilogy, The Almost Legend of Draco Malfoy, Je N'en Connais Pas La Fin
Angel/Buffy: Faith & Freud: The Series; Deconstruction
LOTRips: Defined by Art
Yes, I think I'll take a break for a bit.
Random thoughts of the day:
When I write I do it for lots of reasons: I do it as entertainment; to alleviate the boredom of my job; to make my friends laugh at the warpedness of my brain, and sometimes I do it to clear my head. The majority of my writing is an attempt to exorcise something that I want to discuss, or something that I think and can’t always be arsed to say. Sometimes there are points I want to make. Sometimes there are demons that won’t go away, and some days I worry that I’ve become this machine that doesn’t have anything worth while to say anymore. The day I stop writing for *me* is the day I quit, but for now I might have to take a sabbatical.
Yes, I will have to think on that a bit.
But in the interest of navel gazing R’us I’m going to dissect my top five, all time, ‘I can't even blame the drugs and those are some horrible shit’ stories. Okay, that may not be completely truthful as the ones that seriously offend my sensibilities I have effectively erased from my life and all archives I’ve been able to get my hands on: Mourning, Borrowed Time, (I) Might be Wrong, and there’s one more, but I don’t remember the name of it now. Heh. That erasing shit is working. Of course those are all SV stories, but that’s also my most prolific fandom so it only stands to reason that I produce the most shit there. (Sorry, guys)
Now, in addition to those stories I pick these five. Please keep in mind that I am not looking for anybody to tell me otherwise (this is not a cry for memememe), I’m just saying that for whatever reasons these stories make me wince and reach for the Kaopectate.
5. Harry Potter I Tripped Over a Seeker Afraid of Heights
My intentions for this story were good. Okay, the concept was good, probably because I stole it from some comment Silvia made about Draco being afraid of heights. But when I look back on this story I just think this is what happens when you have no idea what you’re trying to say. It sucks. Probably why it can’t be found anywhere anymore.
4. Smallville. The Unexpected V: Playing Along
Jayne said this was her least favorite part of the series and I can see why. A playground? Clark acting five? Oh, dear god what was I thinking? Actually I wasn’t thinking and I know that for a fact. I wrote all six parts of this in like eight days on some rush of feedback because people liked ‘The Unexpected’ and I had never had a response like that in my life. Yes, just like a young neurotic actor I just kept writing instead of stepping back and thinking for two seconds. This is how people end up in Betty Ford
3. Smallville Neopaganism
I should not write about religion. I should not write about Whitney. When the two get together to discuss Clark, surefire bad news.
2. Angel: the Series Father and Sons
In the story’s defense this was my first fandom and I was just starting out, but any story that has this as a summary should be abandoned before it leaves the starting gate. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. Damn. Poor Wesley.
1. Smallville Just Looking
I’m a concept girl, I always have been. There are people who can come up with huge, sweeping great plots and have them work out brilliantly. I ain’t like that. There are people who can write smut as well and have it be hot and sexy and said people really should provide a change of knickers with their story. There are people that can do both of these things in long, sweeping epics and have the whole business turn out amazingly.
I am not this person. I am not this writer.
When I try and do shit I’m not good at we get things like this story. Notice how it just abruptly *ends* because at 26 pages I still had no idea what the fuck was going on and just decided to end it. Yeah. That’s a surefire sucky piece of writing.
Honorable mention goes to: Smallville - ‘Are You Experienced’ and ‘If Only’ (that's the other deleted story that I forgot)
However.
As much as I bitch and moan there are some things that I'm glad I wrote. I think it could be called pride.
Smallville: Fallible Theory
Harry Potter: The Crush Trilogy, The Almost Legend of Draco Malfoy, Je N'en Connais Pas La Fin
Angel/Buffy: Faith & Freud: The Series; Deconstruction
LOTRips: Defined by Art
Yes, I think I'll take a break for a bit.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-02-24 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-25 11:09 am (UTC)Are you sure, cos I heard they were giving out cookies?
::wanders across the hall and comes back with sugar cookies and cider::
Yeah, they got cookies, and I *borrowed* about 30. Now *we* have cookies!
Re:
Date: 2003-02-25 12:25 pm (UTC)And btw, you are on my friends list because you're an amazing writer, whose work I enjoy tremendously. And you have great taste in cars which is heaven for a car whore like me. *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-02-24 06:27 pm (UTC)Ok, I know this post calls for a much more profound comment, but I'm kinda out of it, and what you said there just reminds me so much of my Rikster. "I'd clean the lint outta your belly-button" anyday darlin"!
He can make a suggestive comment about anything, and he ain't been indoors for a few days, so I'm missing him. I can *so* hear him saying it.
I adore how he can make a suggestive comment out of *any* pair of noun-and-verb. Possibly the most odd was "I'd empty your hoover-bag anyday darlin'"... I think that freaked even him.
And I *so* don't wanna imply that he is a London-Grunt Boy, which he entirely ain't, but like most guys, he has his traditional aspect. The way Nic cums in his kecks when Romy is on the screen, and thinks Sophia Loren has sexy eyebrows... Blokes, eh? *g*
Anyhoo, I think you should put out a general appeal for enough cash to come over and stay with me for a bit. The boys would adore you, and I already do!
X
no subject
Date: 2003-02-24 06:33 pm (UTC)Deal. With. It.
And oh yeah, I love you. So there.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-25 10:08 am (UTC)Is that what's wrong? ::takes temperature:: Yes, I certainly *feel* more irate than normal.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-24 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-25 07:44 am (UTC)I didn't want to log into my mail since it takes a week of Sundays on this machine. Just popping my head up. I will be home this afternoon.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-25 04:52 pm (UTC)It's not like you ever really want people to validate your existence, but nothing is worse than when they assume you are stupid. And no one ever is really interested enough for you to have the chance to explain it fully.
We love you, so it's different.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-26 02:04 am (UTC)Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!
no subject
Date: 2003-02-26 09:14 am (UTC)Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!
::hands toothbrush and pushes away::
do not kiss me until you get rid of that vomit-smell. yuck. then, maybe, you can have cookies.
Re:
Date: 2003-02-26 09:44 am (UTC)