hackthis_archive (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hackthis_archive) wrote2004-03-11 02:24 pm
hackthis_archive) wrote2004-03-11 02:24 pm
LOTRips - Cigarettes Will Kill You
Ben Lee and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
queenofalostart tried to conspire against me to make me write Elwood POV, but I prevailed. And then this piece tried to be, like, happy or something, but I smacked that down real quick. Pfft.
LOTRips
DM & EW & BB
Cigarettes Will Kill You
They swore you'd steal my steam to feed your dream, and then be gone
I wish I could say that everyone was wrong
Dom will never be able to explain why he started smoking. He suspects it was because he needed something to do with his hands while he was waiting. Correction: something else to do with his hands while he was waiting. Because the drawing on himself and the scribbling in his journal and sucking lollies in perverted ways was never going to be enough to get his point across while he was waiting.
Dom’s always waiting for something or someone, or both.
That just seems to be his lot in life.
*
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, knowing that things will never change, but Dom doesn’t see it like that. He sees persistence as something admirable. He sees tenacity as something smart and right and normal. The ability to wait is good. The ability to wait longer than other people is even better, and there’s nothing wrong with his ability to outwait pretty much everyone around him if he wants to.
He can sit in his flat and listen to his music and smoke his fags and wait until the sodding cows come home if that’s what it takes. He knows they’re all going to come back to him eventually. It’s not arrogance; it’s what makes him get out of bed in the morning.
*
All Dom does is wait.
He waits for his agent to ring about castings. He waits to go to readings. He waits to move through Germany and Manchester and filming in London. He waits to go to New Zealand and fall in love with his co-star. He waits to get involved. He waits for it all to fall apart.
And then he waits some more.
*
Dom’s conversations with Billy these days are stilted and strange. Dom can hear Billy tuning his guitar while Dom plays with the wheel on his lighter, and there are all sorts of things that need to be said that neither one is willing to bring up. Instead Dom chain-smokes while they talk about the weather and footie and the script that is never going to see the light of day. And in between talking about all these objects that aren’t indicative of the real issues, there are pauses and lulls and large gaps in the conversation while they try to steer around the things they really need to talk about: them. Elijah. Ali. Them, again.
But Dom will wait Billy out.
He’s not going to give up on them just because they’re having a few communication problems. There’s nothing Dom and Billy can’t get through if they try hard enough.
*
The first time Elijah caught Dom with a fag in his mouth, he stared so hard Dom thought he’d had a aneurysm. The second time Elijah caught Dom smoking, he frowned and shook his head deliberately. The third time Dom asked him for a light, Elijah handed over his lighter and didn’t ask for it back, and when Dom went out on a fag run, Elijah just asked him to pick up a spare box of cloves.
*
Dom waited to fall in love with another co-star. He waited for Elijah to stop dicking around. He waited for Elijah to grow up and figure out what a good thing they had. Dom was patient through girls and boys, Seattle and New York, and Billy not understanding what the fuck was going on 7000 miles away. Dom reckoned everyone would get it eventually if he was just patient enough, and the first time around he really thought he’d done everything right. But apparently not.
Not that it mattered that much, because Dom knew he could wait Elijah out. After all, Dom’s persistence is what got him Elijah in the first place.
*
There is nothing wrong with what Dom’s doing to keep Elijah by his side. There’s nothing wrong with accepting roles in a city he doesn’t love, for a job he’s only marginally excited about, to prove that he’s not going anywhere. He’s not being sneaky or tricksy or subversive at all. Dom’s just being patient. He’s inhaling slowly and exhaling even slower. He’s holding his breath like it’s a long drag on his first cigarette on the day.
He does his best to avoid the idea that if the fags don’t kill him, being without Elijah, or Billy, just might.
*
Dom always knew Elijah would come back. He doesn’t say it out loud to anyone, but the smugness is there in the twinkle of his eyes and the smirk on his face. Dom knew he just had to wait it out, and he chooses not to remember all the late night calls to Billy because he was depressed and sad and pissed and lonely. He chooses to forget all the mornings spent passed out on Viggo’s floor because he just couldn’t be alone anymore. He doesn’t recall the hundreds of fag ends stubbed out all over his flat because he couldn’t stop smoking until everything tasted like tar and every breath he took made his chest tight. All he knows is that he waited and finally got what he wanted.
When they go to premieres together all Dom can think about is all the other times they’ve done this, and how right it feels because it’s what their life is like. And when they’re together, like this, Dom doesn’t think about the silences from Billy when they’re in the same room or the way Sean blinks before looking away.
Instead Dom thinks about the fag break he’s going to take as soon as they’re inside the theatre and how he hopes the waiting has finally stopped, because at the rate he’s going he’s still going to be waiting when time runs out.
-end-
queenofalostart tried to conspire against me to make me write Elwood POV, but I prevailed. And then this piece tried to be, like, happy or something, but I smacked that down real quick. Pfft.LOTRips
DM & EW & BB
Cigarettes Will Kill You
I wish I could say that everyone was wrong
Dom will never be able to explain why he started smoking. He suspects it was because he needed something to do with his hands while he was waiting. Correction: something else to do with his hands while he was waiting. Because the drawing on himself and the scribbling in his journal and sucking lollies in perverted ways was never going to be enough to get his point across while he was waiting.
Dom’s always waiting for something or someone, or both.
That just seems to be his lot in life.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, knowing that things will never change, but Dom doesn’t see it like that. He sees persistence as something admirable. He sees tenacity as something smart and right and normal. The ability to wait is good. The ability to wait longer than other people is even better, and there’s nothing wrong with his ability to outwait pretty much everyone around him if he wants to.
He can sit in his flat and listen to his music and smoke his fags and wait until the sodding cows come home if that’s what it takes. He knows they’re all going to come back to him eventually. It’s not arrogance; it’s what makes him get out of bed in the morning.
All Dom does is wait.
He waits for his agent to ring about castings. He waits to go to readings. He waits to move through Germany and Manchester and filming in London. He waits to go to New Zealand and fall in love with his co-star. He waits to get involved. He waits for it all to fall apart.
And then he waits some more.
Dom’s conversations with Billy these days are stilted and strange. Dom can hear Billy tuning his guitar while Dom plays with the wheel on his lighter, and there are all sorts of things that need to be said that neither one is willing to bring up. Instead Dom chain-smokes while they talk about the weather and footie and the script that is never going to see the light of day. And in between talking about all these objects that aren’t indicative of the real issues, there are pauses and lulls and large gaps in the conversation while they try to steer around the things they really need to talk about: them. Elijah. Ali. Them, again.
But Dom will wait Billy out.
He’s not going to give up on them just because they’re having a few communication problems. There’s nothing Dom and Billy can’t get through if they try hard enough.
The first time Elijah caught Dom with a fag in his mouth, he stared so hard Dom thought he’d had a aneurysm. The second time Elijah caught Dom smoking, he frowned and shook his head deliberately. The third time Dom asked him for a light, Elijah handed over his lighter and didn’t ask for it back, and when Dom went out on a fag run, Elijah just asked him to pick up a spare box of cloves.
Dom waited to fall in love with another co-star. He waited for Elijah to stop dicking around. He waited for Elijah to grow up and figure out what a good thing they had. Dom was patient through girls and boys, Seattle and New York, and Billy not understanding what the fuck was going on 7000 miles away. Dom reckoned everyone would get it eventually if he was just patient enough, and the first time around he really thought he’d done everything right. But apparently not.
Not that it mattered that much, because Dom knew he could wait Elijah out. After all, Dom’s persistence is what got him Elijah in the first place.
There is nothing wrong with what Dom’s doing to keep Elijah by his side. There’s nothing wrong with accepting roles in a city he doesn’t love, for a job he’s only marginally excited about, to prove that he’s not going anywhere. He’s not being sneaky or tricksy or subversive at all. Dom’s just being patient. He’s inhaling slowly and exhaling even slower. He’s holding his breath like it’s a long drag on his first cigarette on the day.
He does his best to avoid the idea that if the fags don’t kill him, being without Elijah, or Billy, just might.
Dom always knew Elijah would come back. He doesn’t say it out loud to anyone, but the smugness is there in the twinkle of his eyes and the smirk on his face. Dom knew he just had to wait it out, and he chooses not to remember all the late night calls to Billy because he was depressed and sad and pissed and lonely. He chooses to forget all the mornings spent passed out on Viggo’s floor because he just couldn’t be alone anymore. He doesn’t recall the hundreds of fag ends stubbed out all over his flat because he couldn’t stop smoking until everything tasted like tar and every breath he took made his chest tight. All he knows is that he waited and finally got what he wanted.
When they go to premieres together all Dom can think about is all the other times they’ve done this, and how right it feels because it’s what their life is like. And when they’re together, like this, Dom doesn’t think about the silences from Billy when they’re in the same room or the way Sean blinks before looking away.
Instead Dom thinks about the fag break he’s going to take as soon as they’re inside the theatre and how he hopes the waiting has finally stopped, because at the rate he’s going he’s still going to be waiting when time runs out.
-end-
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this line made my chest clench so fiercely that I had to go out and have a cigarette before I could finish reading. that's a good thing.
waiting's why I smoke, too. :)
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*loves*
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this is amazing.
(oh my hot, your music is primo too. doves &hearts:)
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I love the isolated moments style you use. It just works.
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You tell'em.
Also, Hotmail? Still jacked.
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Poor Dommeh! He just wants to be understood. *nuzzles him*
Dom always knew Elijah would come back. He doesn’t say it out loud to anyone, but the smugness is there in the twinkle of his eyes and the smirk on his face.
and
how right it feels because it’s what their life is like.
*pounces on you with treats*
Sweet Fancy Moses, you just enjoy ripping my boy to shreds and ripping my heart out in the process.
*faints*
*revives*
Thank you, darling.
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*looks at Dom, louging by the window, looking a bit worse for wear*
I'm making him better, you'll see. Tough love, man, it's all the rage.
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And this was beautiful and sad and I loved it. I wanted to smack people for making poor, sexy Dom wait.
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*winks*
Double Headers are all the rage.
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Here's a quote: "waiting is everything because when you're done waiting, there's either more or nothing and because it's like the second before someone laughs and you know it will be good and it is, and when they're done, you get to wait some more to hear it again."
I am going to think more about this, b/c it is awesome.
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I can't say that I have, but I went over and looked it up on amazon and now I'm intrigued. I'm going to have to track it down. Also, I'm pleased you enjoyed this, thanks!
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The Surgeon General is not pleased with me today, I think.
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That just seems to be his lot in life.
We all feel like that, Dom. Seriously.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, knowing that things will never change,
Or brad pitt in 12 monkeys.
He waits for his agent to ring about castings. He waits to go to readings. He waits to move through Germany and Manchester and filming in London. He waits to go to New Zealand and fall in love with his co-star. He waits to get involved. He waits for it all to fall apart.
And then he waits some more.,/i>
you're saying so v v much here in such a tight little bit. This lays this guy open in a major way. Ah, you do off-handed understatement like no one else, chica.
Dom reckoned everyone would get it eventually if he was just patient enough, and the first time around he really thought he’d done everything right. But apparently not.
Not that it mattered that much, because Dom knew he could wait Elijah out. After all, Dom’s persistence is what got him Elijah in the first place.
Um. christ. this is depressing as fuck. Mainly because it's not over-blown and bullshit like most fic about relationships gone wrong. this is the sort of shit you wake up out of a strange dream about carebears in the rainforest thinking about for no reason. Then you get up and drink coffee and smoke in that strange stillness of 5 a.m. where the air feels too thick to be real.
anyway, i really liked that bit.
And when they’re together, like this, Dom doesn’t think about the silences from Billy when they’re in the same room or the way Sean blinks before looking away.
Dear Dom,
Please stop doing this to yourself. Listen to Astin.
K
PS: TV will keep you paid.
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Sure it will, as long as you don't kill someone first.
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He does his best to avoid the idea that if the fags don’t kill him, being without Elijah, or Billy, just might.
Can it possibly get any better than that line?
He doesn’t recall the hundreds of fag ends stubbed out all over his flat because he couldn’t stop smoking until everything tasted like tar and every breath he took made his chest tight. All he knows is that he waited and finally got what he wanted.
You proved me wrong, lines can be even better.
Anyways, that was wonderfully well written and the whole theme of waiting was just perfect for me right now.
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He chooses to forget all the mornings spent passed out on Viggo’s floor because he just couldn’t be alone anymore. He doesn’t recall the hundreds of fag ends stubbed out all over his flat because he couldn’t stop smoking until everything tasted like tar and every breath he took made his chest tight.
especially this. i also enjoy the way this piece is based around a theme without beating it to death or drawing it out too much. and also yeah, sometimes i really know how dom feels.
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