(no subject)

[hackthis_archive]

Dear Retailers:

Why the fuck is everything OUT OF STOCK? How do you call yourselves retailers if you've not got anything to sell?! When I am queen I'm just going to use my death ray and blowup all of your establishments, especially you Dooney & Bourke! Who does their holiday shopping in advance? I mean seriously? Who knows what the fuck to get people in September?

Be on alert,
me

--

Dear family,

On my behalf, issaro drafted this letter:

Dear Family-

I tried to buy you the perfect gift but it was out of stock/unavailable. So I tried to buy you the second bestest gift but it was sold out. So I tried to get you any old thing but there was none to be had. A conspiracy of this magnitude could only be orchestrated by The Man - by which I mean Santa. And who am I to go against the wishes of the Man?

Here's your piece of coal.

Merry XMas!
me

---

Dear flist,

I was going to post music for you today, but I am too busy having a fit to do so. Please accept this raincheck. Also, should anyone be able to produce the Gary Lightbody/ Thom Yorke/ Damon Alban Make Trade Fair adverts my day would improve greatly.

Regards,
me

---

Dear THE MAN:

Damn you.

Save the empire,
me

Comments

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

Okay, you are officially losing your shit. Back away from the computer. Go have a green tea.

Go!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You noticed, huh?

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

well, it was subtle, but I know you, so i pick up on these things quicker than most.

[pinkpapyrus.livejournal.com]

FOXY ROBIN HOOD !!!

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

You can be frightening at times. But you know this! Haaaaaaaappy holidaaaaaaaays!

I am contractually obligated to offer to hold the death ray in the event that you decide to perpetrate your vengeance upon The Man. Just sayin'.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Just sometimes? Damn, I am falling down on the job.

Um....have a random Cillian Murphy picture ?

[copernica3.livejournal.com]

http://tinypic.com/incvgy.jpg

Re: Um....have a random Cillian Murphy picture ?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. *is distracted by pretty*

Re: Um....have a random Cillian Murphy picture ?

[copernica3.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/community/ohnotheydidnt/4740976.html

You have to wade through some America's Next Top Model garbage and a few scary Kelly Osbourne pics, but there is that one and several more at the bottom of the post. I don't know when or where they are from, though.

Re: Um....have a random Cillian Murphy picture ?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I need this magazine.

[mellafe.livejournal.com]

Haha, funny. That never happens here. ;)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You are not helping matters you know.

[the-oscar-cat.livejournal.com]

is this what you want?

http://www.maketradefair.com/en/index.php?file=dumpedphotos.htm

well one out of three isn't bad.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yaye!!

[manynames.livejournal.com]

http://www.maketradefair.com/work/celebs/ Thom, Damon and "Snow Patrol" are all here

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[mereol.livejournal.com]

To hell with the music, get me something from Dooney & Bourke! *has shitty friends and lives in a country where Dooney & Bourke is outrageously expensive*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

D&B is outrageously expensive here too! Trust me.

[girl-wonder.livejournal.com]

This has always been my experience with holiday shopping. Although, I will admit I do tend to wait until four days before Christmas to actually begins shopping. It's still not my fault. ;) At least you're starting early. Oh! And Monty Python for entertainment:

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.
Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?
C: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.
O: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.
C: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilset?
O: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it
fresh on Monday.
C: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Cafilly, if you
please.
O: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this
morning.
C: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bell Paisey?
O: Sorry, sir.
C: Red Windsor?
O: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.
.
.
.
C: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.
O: Yes,sir.
C: Really?
(pause)
O: No. Not really, sir.
C: You haven't.
O: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.
C: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
O: Right-0, sir.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL.

[oxoniensis.livejournal.com]

If you want to win one of the photos, go here (http://www.oxfam.org.uk/what_you_can_do/campaign/mtf/competition01.htm#).

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Have I mention my adoration for you today? Well, there you go!

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

I feel I must offer to handle the death ray on the occasions that amberlynne can not. Because, damn The Man. *nods*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Okay, but the Death Ray is a big responsibility, young lady, and don't let me catch you messing around and wiping out half of Portugal with it.

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

Heavans no! Portugal is lovely this time of year!
I will be as responsible as I can. *nods*
Er, can I at least aim it at D.C? Or parts of Texas?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'd tell you to wipe off Texas, but amberlynne lives there, so alas that's a no go.

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

Well, as long as she avoids Crawford like the Plauge, she would be fine in the case of a Death Ray strike.