hackthis_archive | Ah, fandom.

thecomfychair has informed me that on 1 April, ~~Jeremy Piven~~ Ari will be have a special on Discovery HD called Journey of a Lifetime with Ari, err, Jeremy Piven -- because after the Oscar business, Ari had to get away. Right. I digress. I don't have Discovery HD. I don't know anyone who has it, but one of you bitches must and then you can share with the class. Please?

Yesterday, the beloved

violetsmiles had a meme asking how you'd found her LJ, what your favorite Prince song was (you can't choose just one for real), and what song made you think of fandom. The last one actually had me stymied for a bit until this morning when Damon Albarn started hollering that he was looking for Girls who want boys/ who like boys to be girls/ who do boys like they're girls/ who do girls like they're boys/ Always should be someone you really love -- and I said, oh, Blur's 'Girls & Boys' THAT'S SO FANDOM.

And then a few hours later I got an e-mail that people were talking shit about a friend of mine in their locked posts, and besides just being rude and juvenile and crass, my first thought was, I've so been here!

Sometimes people judge you without knowing a damn thing about you. Sometimes people are just that infantile and petty. Some people just have to get their hate on. And I thought of Timex Social Club's 'Rumours' -- I'll think I'll write my congressman, and tell him to pass a bill, the next time they catch somebody starting rumors---shoot to kill! -- because THAT'S SO FANDOM, TOO.

At the end of the day though, we're all in this together. Love it, hate it, want to take a torch to it and burn that branch off of the family tapestry, we do this fandom shit together. No one else understands it, and protects it the way we do, and that's what makes it so interesting. And in that instance, well, there's only one song for it: Sister Sledge 'We Are Family' -- BECAUSE THAT'S JUST FANDOM.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't think this is the same thing. Are you saying you were talking badly about someone and someone with access to that locked post cut and pasted it elsewhere or that someone just took something out of a locked post and put it elsewhere?

why do people think locked posts are, you know, secret? There is no such thing as ethics in fandom. People *will* get their hands on that shit, and they *will* share it! I mean, get real folks.

Someone took information from a locked post, copied and pasted it in an email, and sent it to (a) person mentioned in the post. Wasn't a fandom thing, and it wasn't just random "oh, so and so is a jackass" stuff, it was a specific situation that was working my last nerve, but it also wasn't phrased any way...productive, shall we say. I'm aware (oh, am I aware!) locked posts aren't perfect, but it still surprised me and pissed me off, that someone would do that.

I suppose if (whoever it was!) someone had instead emailed the person and rather than copying and pasting, said "Hey, meara is sounding kinda pissed at you, you might want to talk to her about that", I would've been...well, still minorly peeved (cause hey, I was GOING to deal with it, just in the proper time!), but....not anywhere near as mad as I was.

this is my personal philosophy on this sort of matter: nothing you ever type in an email or post on the internet is private in ANY WAY. The fiction that it is causes a lot of problems. Best just not to say things that you don't want others to hear or only entrust it to people you know are locked down tighter than hackthis's ability to like cats.

Sure. I've made some changes in who I've got on some custom groups, because I'd rather be able to rant about shit.

I was just curious to hear if it was the same sort of situation (which it sounds like it maybe wasn't?), what

hackthis's response to getting something like that was.

you'd have to ask her about that one.

...which is why I left the comment here, asking that. :)

I think what

ethrosdemon is saying is that the situation wasn't the same this time. This incident didn't affect me directly, and in the past when people have talked about me, they've left their posts wide open and then been surprised when I found out, which is really another matter altogether. I think if you don't want people to know, you shouldn't put it out in public. I don't lock posts in this LJ, well, except for that one time I wrote twincest in Harry Potter.

My personal philosophy is that if you can't say something nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all, or you should be very vague -- unless they've really fucked you over. People underestimate the power of the vague. At the very least you shouldn't put your business where it can be printed, copied and passed out and discussed at nauseum. I think if you put it out there, it will come back to you. Naturally, you are free to think whatever the hell you want, that's one of those fabulous things about being a human being, but I just tend to think a little tact goes a long way. As for someone else snitching, well, that's a whole other kettle of fish.

I have this motto that I stole from a close friend in high school: Don't say anything behind anyone's back that you wouldn't say to their face.

Which doesn't mean that I'm gonna be all up in your face declaring it, but if you asked me straight up, "Did you say X?" I'd say so.

The same pretty much goes for LJ, on some level.

Yeah, but to your face I might try to say it a little differently, even if I say what is, in essence, the same thing.

Oh, absolutely. I don't think there's anything fundamentally two-faced about diplomacy: that's kind of an adjunct to the whole "copping to saying it" thing, I guess. It's sort of like the difference between, "You look fat in that dress," and "I don't think that cut is very flattering to your figure."

Yes, what she said. A little tact can go a long way.

For reals.

Ah, fandom.

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