One time for my peace of mind.

[hackthis_archive]

Today is not a good day. I must make it so.

First, by taking glee in this Grey's Anatomy casting spoiler.

And second, as created by devkel, the first 20 (sorry that was supposed to be 20, not 2) people to comment with a pairing or character and a prompt will get a one line story*. Since we all know of my inability to write anything less than ten words, it should at least be good for crack value.

The following fandoms are available: the 4400, Smallville, Harry Potter, Entourage, President Clooney-verse, SGA, Grey's Anatomy, Kitchen Confidential, BSG, Spider-Man 2, Ocean's 11, and whatever else you've seen me write before.

*One line, two lines, two paragraphs. You know it's all relative.

ETA: Okay, offer expired.

Comments

[melodylemming.livejournal.com]

Hee. "Hand-shaking communicable colds."

[jeannie81.livejournal.com]

Hee! Take your time ;).

[aurora]

he would be manly and wear boxers or chain metal or leather thongs, which is what Ronon probably wears. Unless he's not wearing anything, but Rodney isn't going to go there. - that and the last sentence just raised the temperature in the computer lab by a few dozen degrees, oh yes!

Thanks so much for this. Also, I've been reading the other ones you wrote and I'm squeeing over the Clooney-verse, and angsting over the Lee/Helo one. You rule!

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Draco wasn't terribly up to snuff with how the muggles did things, but he felt fairly certain that the head of the muggle brigade, even a Ravenclaw head should be able to count higher than one.

"Why are you in my room?" Draco clipped every word precisely, if only to focus on his consonants and not the naked, dripping Weasley in his room. It had to be a Weasley, it hair ginger hair.

The interloper smirked, pulling off his towel to dry his hair. "Don't you mean my room?" his voice was muffled by the towel.

"I most certainly do not mean your room. This is my room," Draco would not shriek. Draco would not stare. "The head of the Colonies said it was my room, and as such you are dripping your Weasley cooties all over my carpeting. I insist that you stop at once!"

The Weasley wrapped the towel around his hair leaving the rest of his body exposed. It was -- not a bad looking specimen. Draco did not stare. "Okay if that's what you really want," the Weasley said grabbing up his clothing and opening the bedroom door.

One of the Muggle Goon Squad was waiting in the hall. When he saw the naked Weasley his eyebrows migrated into his hairline. Draco sighed. His lot was so unfair. "Shut the door at once before you scar the muggles for life and they refuse to help us."

The Weasley threw a smirk over his shoulder. "Why Malfoy, I didn't know you cared."

Draco sneered. "I don't."

[jeannie81.livejournal.com]

I love this! I love Draco and Bill's nonchalant attitude. I definitely love naked!Bill! *fans herself* Thank you!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

That should be it *had* ginger hair in the second paragraph. i tend to be more substance and less with the, err, grammar.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It was the sort of thing that only made sense later on. The wanting Kara thing, because Lee had a girlfriend, a good girlfriend. She would make a good wife one day too. She wasn't pissy and arrogant. She didn't talk back. She wanted kids and a good, nice, safe life. She was nothing like Kara at all. Kara who smoked and swore and would sit in the sims all night playing and beating people for credits and ambrosia and anything else they could get their hands on. Lee's girlfriend wasn't going to beat Lee's ass at triad in the mess hall or pyramid in the rain. Lee's girlfriend was never going to look at him across the mess hall and make Lee's chest hurt either. Sometimes Lee couldn't even remember her name.

[frogy.livejournal.com]

Where would one find the fic this is based on? I went through your memories but couldnt't find it.

[mellafe.livejournal.com]

THATWASPERFECT. Thank you.

He married her! Lee actually married D! Stupid stupid, stupid. I kinda really like Anders, A LOT, so I can't wait for Friday. WOOT!

[aphelant.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA! That was brilliant! And you know - nobody does know Chuck. HE TOTALLY IS HARRY POTTER.

Thanks, dear! You made my afternoon!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You are stumping me. Give me another day.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Finally, one that I can write without killing myself.

Drama is not a good cook. He's an okay cook, but he's not Turtle's ma. Turtle's ma is a fucking great cook, which he tells Drama all the time. "Drama, what the fuck is this? You can't put tofu in eggs!"

"Vince needs protein, there's protein in tofu!"

"There's protein in steak, how come you don't make steak and eggs instead?"

"All that cholesterol isn't good for Vince's heart, or yours. You could stand to lay off the meat, Turtle, go for a run here or there."

"One more word about my shape and you'll be sorry."

"I'm already sorry."

"Don't make me start telling everyone that you touched my ass during that threesome."

"I didn't touch your ass!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

*pause*

"If I did, it's only cos you liked it."

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Spider-Man huh? Tough audience today.

Harry stops drinking the morning after the night before. The night before being the night of Peter and Spider-Man and Mary Jane and the masks and his dad's creepy ass goblin uniform and everything that's clearly him suffering from delusions and blackouts and who knows whatelse. He checks himself in Hazelden on a Tuesday. Six weeks to the day he's back in the city. He's dry. He's right in the head. There's no reason for him to hear his dad anymore, except that being clean hasn't made things any clearer. His dad's still talking to him. The exploding pumpkins are still behind that trick mirror and Peter is Spider-Man and he's still in love with someone else.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Damn. Y'all are tough customers.

When Shawn was little he always envied Kyle. He wanted a dad like Uncle Tom. Shawn always wanted the dad who made the slightly burnt cookies and who took them camping and knew how to start a fire with two sticks. He once tried to get Kyle to run away from home just so Shawn could have Uncle Tom to himself. That didn't work out. Kyle was pissed at him for a long time about that. And now when he looks at Jordan he can sort of see bits of him Uncle Tom in him. He guesses that's why he tries to fight his attraction so hard.

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

LOL. Fabulous banter between them. Thanks.

[violentviolethp.livejournal.com]

Sorry! Take as much time as you'd like. Hell, take forever. I just jumped in because it sounded fun, but you're under absolutely no obligation to actually write the thing. :)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I am procrastinating so hard I couldn't even spell the word.

It's somewhat rare for George to have patients who can't fit in their beds properly. He's had people that have been a little wide for bed, but never anybody so tall that their feet hang over the end. And there's a lot of bright red hair. Like a lot. He's like Beaker from the Muppets, but with a beard, like a man of the woods Muppet.

That's totally unprofessional.

"Good morning, Mister, uh," George glances at the chart "Weasley -- Good morning, Mr Weasley, what can I do for you today."

"I, uh, aren't you a bit young to me a Medi-Wizard?" Mr Weasley's not from around Seattle. Judging by his accent he's not even from the U.S. Huh.

George doesn't get many international patients -- maybe they call them something else in England. "I assure you that I am a fully qualified, doctor --"

Mr Weasley sits up a bit, now only his feet are over the side of the bed. "You don't have a cousin named Neville do you?" he asks rubbing his beard.

George isn't attracted to men. Especially not mountain men. "Um, no?"

"Oh, that's too bad, um where am I?"

"Seattle Grace?"

"Seattle? Where's that then?'

"Um, Washington State."

"State? You mean like the colonies?"

George tries to contain the choking noise. "Um, we haven't been the colonies for -- " But Mr Weasley is looking serious perplexed and when he gets to his feet, he's really really tall.

"Have you see my wand?"

"Your wand?" George is hoping that's not a euphemism. He doesn't quite know what to do with a crazy English patient. Maybe they're all like that over there but -- "Hey, Olivia," he hollers to the passing syphilitic cheater, "can I get a psych consult down here? Now."





The red-headed Muppet

[sandrine]

Ooooh, this is perfect. *squees* It sounds perfectly in character, and it's just the right level of fucked up!

Thank you so much. ♥

[violentviolethp.livejournal.com]

Lol. Poor Ron. Poor George. I've never actually imagined Ron with a beard. Interesting. Thanks!