hackthis_archive ([personal profile] hackthis_archive) wrote2006-10-03 08:54 am
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Breaking news! Breaking News!


Are London Bridges Falling Down?
Are London Bridges Falling Down?


Oscar-winner Clive Owen was in town last night promoting his latest film Why Am I So Hot and How Can You Not Recognise This? and according to sources very close to the situation, the President cut short a phone call with Gael Garcia Bernal, the President of Mexico, to have dinner with Owen.

"George and Clive don't just have unfinished business, they are unfinished business," the source said somewhat gleefully. "Anderson can't even watch Clive's movies with the president without stomping off in a huff. It's even worse than when George had that thing for Jake Gyllenhaal."

Readers will recall years before the president was the president, he made a huge splash in the proverbial pond with statements about the hotness of Mr Owen, as well as the Prime Minister of Australia, Cate Blanchett. Just not together. Although that would probably send this reporter into cardiac arrhythmia.

At the time of those statements the president was still a free man and dating with abandon, but since Mr Owen was involved, the two have always denied any relations.

While no photographic evidence is available of Owen entering the White House, or of the President even leaving last night, sources assure me that the two men dined together well into the wee hours on a decadent six-course meal provided by the White House chef, Jack Bourdain.

When asked about the dinner at this morning's press conference, and what the First Gentleman (currently in Europe to speak before the UN) thought, Chief of Staff Ari Gold narrowed his eyes and answered with his usual aplomb. "No fucking comment, you cocksucking whoremongerer. I hope you catch syphilis from the page you're fucking, and your dick falls off."


This press release brought to you with grants from the [livejournal.com profile] trevorfrost, [livejournal.com profile] lyra_sena and [livejournal.com profile] slodwick corporations.
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[identity profile] supergrover24.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I love that Jack Bourdain is the White House chef. HA.

[identity profile] rossywar.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 04:02 pm (UTC)(link)
His Loveliness "Gael Garcia Bernal, the President of Mexico"

He's got my vote. :)

[identity profile] lyra-sena.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 04:03 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHHAAA. I LOVE YOU.


thank you baby!! This made my day. *big kisses*

[identity profile] ladydey.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 04:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I LOVE this Universe soooo much.

Poor Anderson, Clive really is the hotness, but really the President just (like the rest of us) wants to stare at Clive and into his pretty pretty face for a little while and sigh. It's a form of relaxation therapy. I sure nothing happened....
ext_2524: do what you like (communism)

[identity profile] slodwick.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Readers will recall years before the president was the president, he made a huge splash in the proverbial pond with statements about the hotness of Mr Owen, as well as the Prime Minister of Australia, Cate Blanchett. Just not together. Although that would probably send this reporter into cardiac arrhythmia.

A form of global cardiac arrhythmia, I fear. *swoon*

[identity profile] veradeath.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
*eyes White House chef, Jack Bourdain.*

*proceeds to crack up laughing*

This continues to be made of the extra awesome.

[identity profile] sparky77.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 04:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Clive Owen was in town last night promoting his latest film Why Am I So Hot and How Can You Not Recognise This?

Ha (though I'll confess to being a latecomer to his hotness)!

And Yay to the rest of it!

[identity profile] elzed.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee - always a joy to read these dispatches from the ASU White House. Especially when such heartstoppingly hot pics are posted with (me, I always thought Clive Owen was hot, but for some reason his hotness magnified by a factor of about 100 with age. In Closer, he was so seat-meltingly hot I did think I was going to explode. Also made Jude Law look like a little boy. A pretty boy, cute and all, but no SEX APPEAL)

[identity profile] cluelessinlife.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 05:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I was wondering when that Clive Owen movie was going to me made!!!

Also: this is pure genius!!!! *is amazed at how creative you are*

[identity profile] dine.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
*cracks up laughing*

this universe always makes me long for it to be reality - any way you can work on that?

[identity profile] vertrauen.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sure Clive's birthday dinner with George was nothing but magical. ;)

*throws confetti*

[identity profile] wyoluvr.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
When asked about the dinner at this morning's press conference, and what the First Man thought while he's currently in Europe speaking before the UN, Chief of Staff Ari Gold narrowed his eyes and characteristically said, "No fucking comment, you cocksucking whoremongerer. I hope you catch syphilis from the page you're fucking and your dick falls off."

ow, i hurt something laughing.

[identity profile] danxsunday.livejournal.com 2006-10-03 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHAHAHA
I anxiously await each instalment of President Clooney.

If only Cate Blanchett was our PM dammit!

[identity profile] khalanasa.livejournal.com 2006-10-04 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
Clive Owen was in town last night promoting his latest film Why Am I So Hot and How Can You Not Recognise This?

So true, so true. I'd pay my hard-earned money to see this film :)

And yay for more President Clooney!
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