Breaking news! Breaking News!

[hackthis_archive]

Are London Bridges Falling Down?

Oscar-winner Clive Owen was in town last night promoting his latest film Why Am I So Hot and How Can You Not Recognise This? and according to sources very close to the situation, the President cut short a phone call with Gael Garcia Bernal, the President of Mexico, to have dinner with Owen.

"George and Clive don't just have unfinished business, they are unfinished business," the source said somewhat gleefully. "Anderson can't even watch Clive's movies with the president without stomping off in a huff. It's even worse than when George had that thing for Jake Gyllenhaal."

Readers will recall years before the president was the president, he made a huge splash in the proverbial pond with statements about the hotness of Mr Owen, as well as the Prime Minister of Australia, Cate Blanchett. Just not together. Although that would probably send this reporter into cardiac arrhythmia.

At the time of those statements the president was still a free man and dating with abandon, but since Mr Owen was involved, the two have always denied any relations.

While no photographic evidence is available of Owen entering the White House, or of the President even leaving last night, sources assure me that the two men dined together well into the wee hours on a decadent six-course meal provided by the White House chef, Jack Bourdain.

When asked about the dinner at this morning's press conference, and what the First Gentleman (currently in Europe to speak before the UN) thought, Chief of Staff Ari Gold narrowed his eyes and answered with his usual aplomb. "No fucking comment, you cocksucking whoremongerer. I hope you catch syphilis from the page you're fucking, and your dick falls off."


This press release brought to you with grants from the trevorfrost, lyra_sena and slodwick corporations.

Comments

[supergrover24.livejournal.com]

I love that Jack Bourdain is the White House chef. HA.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yay, Jack.

[antheia.livejournal.com]

♥

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

:D

[rossywar.livejournal.com]

His Loveliness "Gael Garcia Bernal, the President of Mexico"

He's got my vote. :)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I want people to take pride in their leaders.

[lyra-sena.livejournal.com]

HAHAHHAAA. I LOVE YOU.


thank you baby!! This made my day. *big kisses*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I am always happy to be of service.

[ladydey.livejournal.com]

I LOVE this Universe soooo much.

Poor Anderson, Clive really is the hotness, but really the President just (like the rest of us) wants to stare at Clive and into his pretty pretty face for a little while and sigh. It's a form of relaxation therapy. I sure nothing happened....

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I sure nothing happened....

Really? Do tell. Inquiring minds have copy to write want to know.

[ladydey.livejournal.com]

Well, I was assuming nothing happened because the Pres is so happy and goofy in love with the First Husband... but you would know better then the rest of us. Personally if Clive Owen came to dinner at my house, I don't know that I could let him out without molesting him (a lot, over many many days..)

[slodwick.livejournal.com]

Readers will recall years before the president was the president, he made a huge splash in the proverbial pond with statements about the hotness of Mr Owen, as well as the Prime Minister of Australia, Cate Blanchett. Just not together. Although that would probably send this reporter into cardiac arrhythmia.

A form of global cardiac arrhythmia, I fear. *swoon*

Ours is not to reason why, but to do and die. DIE?!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

CLUE! *loves Slod's icon*

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

*eyes White House chef, Jack Bourdain.*

*proceeds to crack up laughing*

This continues to be made of the extra awesome.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Jack is the best White House chef ever. And Steven. Oh, Steven loves working for the President. All his illegal activities are instantly made kosher.

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

One time, he even managed to stuff a whole pig, apple and all down his pants. This is besides the amount of protien he does every day.

Steven loves how his life turned out.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

YES!

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

Glad to be of service. ;)

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

Clive Owen was in town last night promoting his latest film Why Am I So Hot and How Can You Not Recognise This?

Ha (though I'll confess to being a latecomer to his hotness)!

And Yay to the rest of it!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Latecomers are better than nocomers! *snicker*

That wasn't dirty beforehand.

[elzed.livejournal.com]

Hee - always a joy to read these dispatches from the ASU White House. Especially when such heartstoppingly hot pics are posted with (me, I always thought Clive Owen was hot, but for some reason his hotness magnified by a factor of about 100 with age. In Closer, he was so seat-meltingly hot I did think I was going to explode. Also made Jude Law look like a little boy. A pretty boy, cute and all, but no SEX APPEAL)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what the ASU is, but if that's where George is I'm going there post haste. I whole-heartedly agree about Clive v Jude in Closer. Jude was just, well, he showed his true colors, sort of foppy and wimpy, while Clive was 100% BEEF! Err, man.

[elzed.livejournal.com]

Oh, typo heaven....

AU, babes. AU. But I like the sound of ASU. Alternative Sexy Universe?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I was wondering what it was, and I think that's brilliant! George Clooney, President of the ASU!! Mazel tov! It's a president!

[elzed.livejournal.com]

Hee - just goes to show that my spur of the moment inspiration owes a great deal more to my id than to my ego*... But yeah - Clooney is definitely president of my Sexy Universe!

I should really get a Clooney icon for those posts. Now where can I get a pretty pic of him talking at the Security Council (not to mention someone who can make it into an icon for me?)

*I am soooo shocked

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I cannot help you with the iconage, but you can go to yahoo and type in hotass and George will pop up. Really.

[cluelessinlife.livejournal.com]

I was wondering when that Clive Owen movie was going to me made!!!

Also: this is pure genius!!!! *is amazed at how creative you are*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It took them long enough to make that movie, didn't it?

[dine.livejournal.com]

*cracks up laughing*

this universe always makes me long for it to be reality - any way you can work on that?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

this universe always makes me long for it to be reality - any way you can work on that?

It's on my to do list right after curing cancer, making out with Tahmoh Penikett, and becoming Princess of Fiji.

[dine.livejournal.com]

*bows to future Princess of Fiji*

so good to know your priorities are firmly in place!

[vertrauen.livejournal.com]

I'm sure Clive's birthday dinner with George was nothing but magical. ;)

*throws confetti*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Oh, very much so. He's such a handsome 42 isn't he? Not that you could expect anything else.

[wyoluvr.livejournal.com]

When asked about the dinner at this morning's press conference, and what the First Man thought while he's currently in Europe speaking before the UN, Chief of Staff Ari Gold narrowed his eyes and characteristically said, "No fucking comment, you cocksucking whoremongerer. I hope you catch syphilis from the page you're fucking and your dick falls off."

ow, i hurt something laughing.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Article 345, subsection D, paragraph 1: The Management takes no responsibility for injures incurred while being exposed to the Chief of Staff.

[danxsunday.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA
I anxiously await each instalment of President Clooney.

If only Cate Blanchett was our PM dammit!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

President Clooney says, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, just be glad you have a hot president.'

[khalanasa.livejournal.com]

Clive Owen was in town last night promoting his latest film Why Am I So Hot and How Can You Not Recognise This?

So true, so true. I'd pay my hard-earned money to see this film :)

And yay for more President Clooney!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you're enjoying it!

[kismeteve.livejournal.com]

This is WIN.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yaye.