The Video Edition

[hackthis_archive]

1. Thank you to anonymous for my football! You can never have too many footballs! But this does raise the question: why is there no football on my TV right now? I HAZ NEEDS! I NEEDS MY 90 MINUTES OF HOTASSERY!

2. I am sick. I am a terrible sick person. Drugged to the gills and grumpy as hell. And completely unable to stop staring at that fucking animated windmill on the LJ home page. Speaking of the LJ homepage, if I wanted to see the current ONTD posts, I'm pretty fucking sure I'd just join fucking ONTD!

3. Where is the A-Team fic? Where is the Losers fic? Where is my Leverage/Losers/A-Team fic sparky77? School what? Pffft.

4. I, uh, shit, oh, yes, I watched an Adam Lambert video for "What Do You Want From Me?" It's the drugs. Who really wrote that song? Was that the song P!nk wrote?

5. Baby Daddy! Landon Donovan is going to be on The Daily Show tonight along with my Baby Daddy Bob Bradley. There may even be talk of football ;-)

6. Y'all know I'm on a lot of drugs, right? Like, I think that's pretty clear.

7. Michael Hastings Dickhole from the Rolling Stone McChrystal expose was on The Colbert Report the other night where he said the administration was looking for a reason to fire McChrystal and his article was the excuse they used*. ::pause:: He also says he represents the troops on the ground. :::big pause::: If you looked up "pretentious greasy hipster asshole" in the OED you would see his photo. With full sincerity, hipsters of the world, y'all need to kick this guy out.

*I wasn't even going to link to this because I thought in my drug fuelled haze I might not be very charitable, but fuck being charitable. This is the guy you want to send hunting with Dick Cheney.

8. fantasticpants did a Brokeback Justified trailer for, well, Justified. Everybody must look at this. It is parody; it is truth. It is AWESOME. thefourthvine that means you.

9. I love the hell out of this AT&T commercial, because they are right, all it takes is one second to convert an entire nation to a sport (USA) or another second for everybody to say, "The lot of you are talentless dicks! I could do better playing in the back garden...France, Italy, England looking at you" Plus, the guy looks just like a friend of mine who now DJs in Belgium.

Comments

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Okay. So you know I love you, right? And I do what you say when it comes to fandoms; I have found it's easier that way.

So I watched that vid. BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANYONE WAS SAYING. And I couldn't tell any of the characters apart, although that is par for the course with me. (Oh, Ari. I miss you. I COULD ALWAYS TELL WHO YOU WERE. And what you were saying, although mostly it was, like, "Fucking cocksucker clitlicker carpetmunching dogfucking bastard, how the hell are you?" Have you noticed you have a strong attraction for fandoms where you can write dialog where every second word is fuck and it's totally in character?) It looked slashy! It did! But the vid went like this for me:

MINE DISASTER OH NO!
Big hat!
Confederate Flag Belt Buckle Guy: "Look at you: suit, necktie. Looking good."
HUG!
Some guys in a car talking about Martians. Or maybe oceans.
Some guys talking about...something.
SUDDEN PRISON INTERLUDE WITH BACON! And conjugal visits. Please tell me they aren't with the bacon.
...Did that woman just say he'd been ordered to stay the hell away from boys? PLEASE NO.
Sheriffs cuddling!
Guy getting out of prison?
The dads duke it out over whose son made the other guy's son gay.
"What are you doing here?"
"I have a nosering!" (Or maybe a nosebleed.)
Various scenes of closeness.
Guns in a mine!
Guns in an - Old West type place? But those are some modern looking guns for sure.
Blood oxygen monitor!
Two guys talking, and also there is a gun.

That's it. That's everything I got from it. So it looks slashy, but I have no idea what it's about or anything. SO CONFUSED. Please write a story; I can't recognize faces, and obviously I can't hear very well, but I can still read. I think.

(And, also, I hope you feel better soon.)

[fantasticpants.livejournal.com]

Sorry to butt in, but I made that trailer, and I just wanted to say this write-up made me choke with laughter. XD

[jcalanthe]

Wow, I rarely watch vids but after your description, I want to watch this one! *laughing*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*heads desk*

I am sorry my space ship does not come equipped with a pair of speakers to give you, because wow. That... that's the best translation ever. It's like when you played Telephone when you are wee and it'd start out with something innocuous like, "The cat is black" and ended up with something like "The janitor and teacher were fucking in the backroom during recess." What?

Okay, so with regards to the video: the guy in the hat is Raylan Givens. He's a US Marshal. He's from the old school. The guy with the hair like he stuck his finger in a socket and the Confederate flag belt buckle is Boyd Crowder. B-O-Y-D. The DA told Raylan to stay away from Boyd. Not boys. Whoooo. Boyd was in the military during Desert Storm and has been acting as a Svengali of sorts ever since. He's a fake white supremacist who gets reborn in jail -- the bacon comment was regarding Raylan being a pig (cop). And uh, yeah. When Boyd gets out of jail he starts going around blowing up meth labs. He and Raylan used to work in the coal mine together when they were 19, 20 years later they're back together. Raylan trying to arrest Boyd.

Best translation ever, sweetheart, really. I give you lots of credit.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

And now you know why I have to have subtitles when I watch things, and why I have Best Beloved by me as translator, and also why I don't watch things very often. When I do it without subtitles, often it is exactly like this, only full-length. I can't tell people apart! I can't understand what anyone is saying! I am basically watching my own thing in my head and it has only a passing relationship with reality! (And the sad part is, I have gotten so much better. If I had attempted to write down my understanding of the first TV shows I watched, you'd - well. Still be laughing, probably.) The inside of my head is pretty much like I'm playing Telephone all the time.

I tell you what, though: even with only a minimal understanding of that vid, the slashiness came through. I am now waiting patiently for people to start writing stories for this show. *settles back* *clicks refresh*