This is what you spend twenty grand on.

[hackthis_archive]

George. Jon. Steven (but sadly not Stephen). Chris Motherfucking Rock. I am having the life from hell right now, but for two minutes this made me forget all about that.

God, if Eames could get Chris Rock to call Arthur and ask Arthur out for him...


"Hello."

"Is this Arthur?"

"No."

"Stop lying, I know this is Arthur cause I got your man here saying it's you."

"My... what?"

"Look, all I'm saying is that I've got your boy Eames here and really he's a good lookin' man, for a white boy. Why are you trippin'?"

"Why am I what?"

"I just got paid twenty thousand dollars to call you up and try and get in your pants on behalf of English Muffin here. Actually, you know what? The dollar is kinda weak right now, can I get that in Euros?"

"Who the hell is this?"

"Don't worry about who the hell this is. Stay on the topic. I heard you were all about specificity. And what I'm trying to say is that your boy Eames is trying to get with you. He wants to take you home to Mom. Wants to cook you dinner and kiss your feet. This motherfucker wants to make you coffee and deal with your morning breath -- you know anybody else willing to do that?"

"I didn't--"

"Shut up, you Jude Law wannabe, I'm earning money for charity here -- Now, Arthur, Arthur, your boy, he wants to engage in mutually beneficial oral sex with you, why are you cock-blocking? Have you seen his mouth. I'd totally let him suck my cock."

"Whoever this is, I am going to track you down, you know this right?"

"What's that? Time's run out on the pay phone. Oh, yeah, look I gotta go. I'm just saying. You and Eames, fucking in the bushes, think about it."


You know, Chris Rock is pretty fucking close to Ari terrain. Interesting that.

Comments

[wickedprimadona.livejournal.com]

That is FANTASTIC!!! This is exactly what I needed tonight so thank you so much for sharing. I hope things start looking up for you very soon!

[maurheti.livejournal.com]

I'm just saying. You and Eames, fucking in the bushes, think about it.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dude, if I had $20,000, it would be yours for this. Awesome!

[1001cranes.livejournal.com]

hahahhaha! this is the GREATEST thing I have seen all day!

&hearts

[kyasuriin.livejournal.com]

lolololols amazing.

This motherfucker wants to make you coffee and deal with your morning breath -- you know anybody else willing to do that?

so great.

[pixiebullets.livejournal.com]

I think I may or may not have read that at least ten times. Brilliant!

[penguinparity.livejournal.com]

The original was absolutely hilarious and your version just made it even more genius!

[damaduende.livejournal.com]

That really cracked me up! Thank you. The conversation was priceless *beams*

[pyrimidine.livejournal.com]

Crying, oh my god

[silverotter.livejournal.com]

What's that I hear? Could that possibly be...your Ari voice returning? THE HOPE. SHE IS ALIVE.

[out-there.livejournal.com]

"Whoever this is, I am going to track you down, you know this right?"

*giggles* Arthur absolutely would.

Actually, this is more like Chris Rock and Ari asking Arthur out for Eames...

That is one hell of a mental image. Hee.

[liketheroad.livejournal.com]

Describing Arthur as a "Jude Law wannabe" is a true stroke of genius.

[rageprufrock.livejournal.com]

I -- I --

I want the sequel to this. That is what I want.

[anatsuno.livejournal.com]

Yup. It's kinda hard not to! I've been thinking about it all day. :D

[http://users.livejournal.com/xenakis_/]

Thirded so hard. Please, please, please?

[vividly-weird.livejournal.com]

*de-lurks* Re-reading this forever. ♥

[chosenfire28.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOLOLOL

<3 <3 <3

[pavarian.livejournal.com]

wahahahaha. omg this just totally made my day. hope your day gets better too!

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

Shut up, you Jude Law wannabe, I'm earning money for charity here

*dies and is dead*

[someidiothasice.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD OWWWWW. MY SIDES. MY BRAIN. IT HURTS.

STOP DOING THIS TO MY BRAIN.

Also I love you and wish many rainbows and sunshine and gay love upon your wonderful, wonderful face.

[not-sally.livejournal.com]

♥♥♥
Seriously, I'm dying from the lulz here. XD

[thorne-scratch.livejournal.com]

Excuse me, I will be over here wheezing from laughter.

(It feels good to actually be able to read all your Inception-related entries without peering through my fingers now!)

[vaguelyalive.livejournal.com]

So, I know that wasn't fic, but OMG YES SO PERFECT. I kind of want to have its children? /weirdness

And I hope the week ahead is much better for you! :)

[deedlit50.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, that was fantastic!

[acroamatica.livejournal.com]

SO VERY MUCH YES. Jude Law wannabe ahahahahaha.

[freaky-nea.livejournal.com]

This scene you've written here? It's GOLD! All pun intended I want this phone call to happen!

[thatreevesgirl.livejournal.com]

That video was awesome. Somehow I forgot to record the damn thing, I'll have to search it out online in it's entirety later.

However, I have to add how much I loved your version of Chris Rock asking out Arthur for Eames. XD I laughed so hard.

[labseraph.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHA.

Where did that come from? Arthur would surely track Chris Rock down and make him regret taking that twenty grand (charity notwithstanding).

Awesome!

♥♥♥

[labseraph.livejournal.com]

Wait. I finally watched the video after it finished loading.

OMG my brain ...

[oaktree89.livejournal.com]

That... drastically improved me day XD

(Someone please, please, write that fic. XD )

[aredblush.livejournal.com]

THIS! THIS IS GENIUS!

[ununoriginal.livejournal.com]

wat a fantastic, hilarious thing to start my day with XDD

[wanderlustlover]

This is hilariously awesome.

[apagon.livejournal.com]

This motherfucker wants to make you coffee and deal with your morning breath -- you know anybody else willing to do that?" this is hilarious and inspired! made my day, thanks!

[aurora]

Ahahahaha, WOW!

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

deeply amused.

[forsweatervests.livejournal.com]

That would be my favorite motherfucking fic of all time. Seriously. I would move to Alaska for that, and I fucking hate the cold.

[faekitten9.livejournal.com]

These tears-they are from laughing maniacally...
BWAHAHAAAAAA!

[dejablue7.livejournal.com]

THIS MADE MY DAY XD
...English Muffin...ROFL

[kisachanlove.livejournal.com]

OMG. OMG. AMAZING.

"You and Eames, fucking in the bushes, think about"

LOL~~~

GOSH, I LOVE YOU SOOOO SOOO MUCH.

[samanthahirr.livejournal.com]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

[too-rational.livejournal.com]

*laughs* OMG, that clip is hilarious, just like the ficlet! \o/

[theprophetrass.livejournal.com]

My ribs hurt I'm laughing so hard.

[whysoanimated.livejournal.com]

i may love you forever and ever for this. amen.