Choose your own ending!

[hackthis_archive]

Today, we play a game called Find Jake Gyllenhaal a Boyfriend Because Jared Leto is a Dick and Hackthis Doesn't Want to Write Him in the Story

Seriously, there's nothing like getting mid-story and finding out the Leading Actor is a major arse. Thankfully, I don't have to stick with casting, unlike Hollywood, so, I'm looking for suggestions that are not married, geriatic, asshole of the month or impossibly straight. Plausibility is key, and sadly, I am not allowed to use Ryan Gosling, so show me what else you've got. Make the case for your man.*

NO MAN WHORES OR SKEEZY MEN ALLOWED!

*Disclaimer: By posting here, you agree to give all your base, err, commentary rights to The Management, who you can just call Ari.

Comments

[julissak01.livejournal.com]

How about Heath Ledger? Although he's a daddy now, him and Michelle aren't married. *coughyetcough* And it's plausible...

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thinking about that.

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

They totally need a personal ad for this:

Single, possibly gay, big box office draw ISO reasonably attractive, unmarried, also possibly gay same for eventual long-term relationship, lucrative contract as spokesperson for gay landmark B&B included. NO MANWHORES.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I love you. You know this is going in the story, right?

[resmin.livejournal.com]

Well if Jake really did dress up like a Navy guy then what about James Franco? As far as gay cred goes, he played Spiderman's arch boyfriend enemy, was the oh so lovely James Dean, and did a movie called 'Mean People Suck'.

*inserts 'Nice People Swallow' rejoiner*

And of course you can't use Gosling, he's too busy with Hayden and Ewan. ;)

[wyoluvr.livejournal.com]

Wentworth Miller. He's hot, he's metrosxual, and as far as I can tell, he's single.

Of course, I think he's not in L.A. right now, but why let petty details like that stop you?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Dude, SK and I were totally thinking that, because Jesus, he was good as James Dean.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Oh, city location is never a problem, but I xnayed him cos he just leaves me cold. He's hot, but it's just like "..."

[jennifus.livejournal.com]

Is Christian Bale single? Or Jensen Ackles? (though I guess he's not, like, big-star enough for the role). Because... my mind just went to a beautiful threesome place and... *dies*

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

*G*

I had a feeling!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

a) Married, with baby. And scary.
b) His eyes are too close together. I look at him and want to be sterilised.

[babyofthegroup.livejournal.com]

Now see, the bit about Jared just makes me sad. Because, hey, much with the pretty, right? ::sigh::

You could always go with Chris Evans, who is hotter than sex on a stick. Probably a bit on the straight side, but still hotter than a hot hot thing. And not married.

[julissak01.livejournal.com]

The problem I see with Heath is that I don't think he'll be joining in gay pride marches/festivities this millennium or quite possibly even the next. He seems like a repressed homosexual, and that might throw off credibility...?

But I am SO with you on James Franco. Because YES.

[antheia.livejournal.com]

Going through his sister there's Josh Hartnett and Adrian Grenier...

Or, yanno, James Spader. *cough*

[supergrover24.livejournal.com]

Jonathan Rhys Myers?

There's always Neil Patrick Harris for complete crack. He's at least out as bi, as far as I know.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

lucas black (http://imdb.com/name/nm0085407/)? no, not really a serious suggestion, but i'm really fond of him.

plus, thanks for getting me all excited about jarhead! it was highly worthwhile. :D

[antheia.livejournal.com]

He (Harris) is so the cutest little gay-boy. I went to high school in Chelsea, and he used to frequent the local (very gay) coffee shop. Just so cute, and always friendly. <3 him.

[lyra-sena.livejournal.com]

Heath Ledger? Ioan Gruffud?

[supergrover24.livejournal.com]

Isn't he just? I could eat him with a spoon.

[antheia.livejournal.com]

I think you should. :)

[supergrover24.livejournal.com]

Trust me, I've fantasized extensively about it.

[lovekeller.livejournal.com]

I love Lucas Black with a scary passion.

[wyoluvr.livejournal.com]

i hear that. there's Dominic Purcell. wait, go british isles! Ioan or Mr. C. Murphy.

[slodwick.livejournal.com]

Does Edward Norton count as "impossibly straight"? What about Wes Bentley?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I thought of Heath, but he and wasserface from Dawson's Creek just had a baby last week, who they named Matilda. Nice, Australian name that.