hackthis_archive | It's all about the hotass.

~~The Unholy Terror~~ Joan Rivers: What are you looking forward to the most tonight?

George Clooney: How drunk I'm going to be in an hour and a half.

I <3 George.

Ari is beside himself. Literally. Did you see him at last night's Indie Spirit Awards?

ruidoso sent me photos because Ari was there with George*! Also, thank you to everybody who read and commented on Building Steam From a Grain of Salt: The Story of Ari Gold. It means a lot to me. And Ari.

ETA: Why is Jake pretending kissing another man was all weird to him? I smell hypocrisy. I bet Austin has something to say about that for real.

*Apparently, Ari was working the room and trying to sign Felicity Huffman. It's always work work work.

ETA2: George Clooney and Jon Stewart in bed together. And it's not Anderson Cooper's dream. This is officially the best awards show ever. I don't ever have to see another awards show again in my life.

Is the entire show going to be Jon flirting with George? I am SO watching the whole thing now.

ETA3: jskejvnaoimvcakfjvcwc. Yeah. That's the noise Ari and I just made.

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The opening bits are all about Jon dreaming about all the past Oscar hosts who have turned down the job, and the he wakes up in bed next to Halle Berry, and he's all, is this is dream and she's all, what do you think? So, he rolls back over, and then when turns back George is in bed next to him, and Jon's all is this a dream? And George says no, and Jon's like YES! SCORE!

And my brain went BOOM!

Ari, a pimp is an agent with a better hat.

Story title: It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp, err, Agent.

The world belongs to George, and everyone else is just an unpaid extra in it. At least Ari has below-the-line name billing. Everybody else is just Waitress #5 or Starlet #3. Ari doesn't give a fuck about them, he gives a fuck about how everybody wants to be George, or fuck George or be George and fuck themselves. It's poetic. And cute. But mostly Ari just cackles a lot and shouts, "We're rich, Bitch!"

Even the guys from Three Six Mafia gave George love. Maybe Ari should see if they want to do the music for George's next movie -- Ari's thinking it should be about a pimp with a a heart of gold. It doesn't matter that George doesn't rap, Audrey Hepburn didn't sing but nobody fucking remembers that when they talk about My Fair Lady.

Ari's favorite part of the night would've been the opening credits of the Oscars, but if that bitch Jon Stewart thinks he's getting in George's pants just because he can spew 30 minutes of political tripe that would get that frigid bitch Ann Coulter wet, he better think again.

PSH is in the new CRAPFEST Tom Cruise flick. Somethings are just wrong, Ari, wrong.

Anderson would cut Jon in a second. Even if they're friends. It ain't about a thing.

Even the guys from Three Six Mafia gave George love.

I heard that and died. "My man George Clooney". Keepin it gangsta.

Oh yeah: Am your minion. Owe you libations and sacrifices and some such shit.

Ari just cackles a lot and shouts, "We're rich, Bitch!" - Am I insane for finding that terribly endearing?

if that bitch Jon Stewart thinks he's getting in George's pants just because he can spew 30 minutes of political tripe that would get that frigid bitch Ann Coulter wet, he better think again. - *DIES* just fucking *DIES*

And because Ari was there with George*! - AS IN PICTURES OF PIVEN WITH GEORGE OR WHAT? If so you are going to post those right? Right?!

And because Ari was there with George*! - AS IN PICTURES OF PIVEN WITH GEORGE OR WHAT? If so you are going to post those right? Right?!

You know I would've done so if they existed, no, they were just at the same event. *sighs* One day though. One day. *concentrates on this idea real hard*

*concentrates with you*

FYI that icon brings me JOY.

Your brain, my brain and Jon's dick. Do remember he looked under the frigging covers. Oh an he just self-depricatively called himself a loser. Which was cute. All we need is for him to get down off the stage and sit in George's lap. Or a snog, a snog would do.

It's all about the hotass.

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