I hate everyone

[hackthis_archive]

So far this morning I banged my knee, was spoiled for the Project Runway collections by Entertainment Weekly, oh, and this was the first e-mail I sent this morning:

Dear Lush:

I have been a customer of Lush for several years and have spent several hundreds of dollars in your store. At no time and in no place have I ever been informed that your products stain surfaces, so you can imagine my shock and horror when the Youki-Hi bath bomb that I bought from your XX store left a massive orange stain around my white bathtub. In fact, I am now confronted with a hideous orange ring that despite my liberal use of cleaning products refuses to move or fade at all.

I am exceedingly angry and displeased with your company, this product and your lack of warning that this might happen. I now plan to share my anger, not only with you, but with every person I know in urging them not to use your products.

No love,
Me

What's really great is that this isn't the only FUCK YOU WITH A BROOM! letter I'll be sending today. Hooray.

ETA: For anyone who's interested in this sort of thing (Ash) Gambit and Deadpool have been cast in the new Wolverine franchise.

Comments

[mir8lle.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I'm sorry to hear about your bathtub, but maybe it'll cheer you up to know that today seems to be a universally shitty day. My laptop died a quite spectacular and seemingly permanent death while I was in my Univiersity archive today. I have all my documents carefully backed up; except of course the presentation I was working on at the time.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Dude, what the hell! I am sorry for your loss; I know that feeling of RAWR! I WILL KEEL EVERYONE IN THE WORLD!

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

That sucks, doll! Is it a large stain or a small one? If small, have you tried the Chlorox bleach pen? It's bleach in a gel-like form that you can brush onto a surface and let it sit for a while. I've had some luck using it on stained tile.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

A big stain, baby. It wraps around almost a third of the tub. I was just like WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT?! I will try this pen though. Hell, at this point I will try anything.

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

Try the bleach pen - make sure you rub it in with the brush end, and then try an eraser (http://www.nothingbuthardware.com/600594.html). I have had pretty good luck with getting stuff off my tub with those.

If your tub is fiberglass you might have to use nailpolish remover.

Or: http://www.ehow.com/how_2053987_make-stained-bathtub-look-like.html

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Soft Scrub did the job (like they suggested on the Lush forums)! It was awesome! I just pretty much drenched the tube with half the bottle and voila!

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

I call DO OVER on your morning.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Fuck do over. I call fast-forward.

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

For anyone who's interested in this sort of thing (Ash) Taylor Kitsch has been cast as Gambit and Ryan Reynolds has been cast as Deadpool in the new Wolverine franchise.

My panties will never ever be the same.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's a lot of information.

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

Oh, I am very sorry I upset your delicate sensibilities. *pat pat*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

We are very offended.

*pets Stephen*

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

When I clicked through your link to the bomb, I noticed someone had commented on the product and mentioned that they would never buy it again due to the bright stain it left on her tub... she went on to say that there's an entire thread in the forum about how to get it out of the tub! Have you consulted the LUSH forum? Maybe you can get the fix for your evil orange stain of doom there. (The ingredient deck of that bomb indicates so many dyes! So stupid to put dye in something going on porcelain!)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Okay, apparently I can't read their humanizing (?!) code properly and thusly exceeded the number of attempts allowed to login in. Everyone must die. Except you.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Okay, I finally got in and there are multiple threads about this. Wow, Lush, you totally lose.

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

::nods::

LUSH is obviously a giant bath-bomb of stinky, glittery fail.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LMFAO! I like the glitter, I HATE the stain. I just can't believe that at no time would someone say, oh, hey, this probably totally going to fuck up your bathtub. What the shit man?

You win today's gold star!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Soft Scrub did the job (like they suggested on the Lush forums)! It was awesome! I just pretty much drenched the tube with half the bottle and voila! I am so excited I could do a dance of happiness (Okay, actually, I already did), but I never would've been able to get rid of it if you hadn't steered me in the right direction. THANK YOU! Do you have any writing requests, who knows what might happen in all my elation!

Re: You win today's gold star!

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

I GOT A GOLD STAR!!! \o/

Huh. Soft Scrub... that makes sense. I used to use that many years ago. It works very well, but if you don't use it up quickly enough, it hardens in the bottle: I think that's why I stopped using it.

Um. You haven't written a lot of Psych, how about a ficlet concerning a pineapple-scented bath bomb? Or something SGA? I enjoy anything you write, really.

[morganmuffle]

I have to say the only time I ever used a Youki-Hi bath bomb it was when I was in a hotel because I noticed a review that said it stained... if you manage to find something that shifts it let us know!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

There were a lot of suggestions in the forums, I'm hoping one of those work out.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I used Soft Scrub (as they suggested on the forums) and it worked like a fucking charm. It was awesome.

[swizzasnake.livejournal.com]

Eeee! Gambit and Deadpool! I have nothing to say about this matter except that it's awesome!

And yes, I have heard some Lush stuff is made of fail - I've always been lucky *crosses fingers* - sorry to hear you have issues tho, that's definitely unfun for all!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

This is the first time Lush has really done my wrong. Okay, the second, but never to this degree.

[bbmarcello.livejournal.com]

Dude, me too, me too! I used some yellow and grey bath bomb and ended up scrubbing my bathtub for fifteen minutes to get the damn yellow stain off!

Ryan Reynolds...mmmmmmmm

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

There were multiple threads about this on the Lust forum and I can't believe that they don't actually say 'Oh, hey, this might totally screw up your HOUSE.' I mean wow.

[bbmarcello.livejournal.com]

I HEART Colbert

[girl-wonder.livejournal.com]

Ok. Sucks about Lush, but TIM RIGGINS IS GAMBIT, WHAT.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL. Yes, quite.

Mr Clean! Mr Clean!

[right-as-rain.livejournal.com]

Try a Magic Eraser. Orig is made by Mr Clean (prolly not BY him, but you know) or the Wal Mart generic works just as well. I am currently dyeing hundreds of feet of nylon rope lots of pretty colors for horse tack and my white counters and stove get stained every day. The miracle that is the magic eraser has saved my kitchen!

[jersey-tomato.livejournal.com]

I used to dye my hair purple and it left terrible stains in my tub. I found that using the cheapest kind of shampoo you can get took it out with no problem. Just like cheap shampoo strips color from dyed hair, it strips it from the surface of the tub. Plus, bonus points for being cheap. Good luck.

[literaryll.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you had such a crap day! Colbert says today will be better.

(http://s149.photobucket.com/albums/s51/literaryll/?action=view&current=shirtlesscolbert.jpg)

Dude hold the phone. How come I've never seen this picture before?!

(http://s149.photobucket.com/albums/s51/literaryll/?action=view&current=spreadlegscolbert.jpg)

It tingles me.

As far as Gambit goes, well. I know nothing of Gambit but it's TIM RIGGINS and I'm all for things involving his hotass.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

GODDAMN STEPHEN!!

My love for you is SO profound, wow. Did you know that I wrote George (http://hackthis.livejournal.com/471490.html) for K's birthday? I finally gave him a man too. ;-)

[redfirecracker.livejournal.com]

Dunno if it makes you feel any better, but I'm allergic to their products and have to hold my breath when I walk past the store on Walnut Street.

And I've actually had LUSH salespeople accuse me of lying, because their products are SOOOOOOO hypoallergenic ( so they say ).

Long live Bath & Body Works, in my book! :)