I am calling a moratorium

[hackthis_archive]

Okay, it is Friday. Please come and talk to me about something other than politics, racism, work, fuckwittery or the United States being the work of the devil. Massive bonus points if you provide porn. Or at least something to make me smile/laugh/not be homicidal for longer than 5 seconds.

ETA: And in return I offer you Truthful TV Title Cards, because talk about accuracy. And FYI: Name that Cylon will be back on January 16, 2009. And I really really wish there was a show called Drink Smoke Fuck. Oh, wait, there is!

Comments

[lazulus]

I offer up a true tale from my own week that should [hopefully] make you feel better. Mind you, it may also make you barf, but we can't have everything. ;)

So, I made toast Tuesday morning as per usual and noticed, as I was buttering the toast, that there was a smell of burning. Must clear out the crumbs, I thought.

The following morning I put the bread in the toaster and the smell was there again - very pungent - and so I took the bread out to see if I could find what was burning.

Turns out that the smell was caused by...

A DEAD MOUSE IN THE TOASTER.

I ATE THAT TOAST ON TUESDAY MORNING. AND I'M A VEGETARIAN!

Needless to say I went out and bought a new toaster.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God. DUDE! I just -- oh, baby, YUCK. [makes obligatory disgusted face].

But my favorite part is this: Must clear out the crumbs, I thought., because you know, just yes, I can totally follow this train of thought.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition a dead mouse!

[lazulus]

Well, exactly! Because there is NO WAY I thought there would be a mouse in there [and this from a woman who has been finding dead mice in my house for weeks - my cats have been paricularly lethal recently!].

A friend of mine says that everyone she tells this to slaps their hands to their mouth. Universal gesture!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

That's just... dude, that's like ... like, even now I'm still gobsmacked.

[lazulus]

That'll be me for the win, then.

\o/