Ah, inspiration.

[hackthis_archive]

Sometimes I say to myself, "Self, what the *fuck* are you doing?" to which I then answer, "Why the fuck are you asking me?!"

Yes, it always sounds like a Lewis Black diatribe in my head. Other household favorites are:

+ Wow, I hate other people. Like a lot.

+ Stupid is as stupid does. Don't be stupid.

+ Well, if you didn't want the truth, why did you even ask me?

+ When I am queen, all you motherfuckers are going to die. Painfully. I will bring you back from the dead, just to kill you all over again. This thought makes me very happy.

+ A beta would've caught that you know.

+ WWAD? (What Would Ari Do)



So, what sort of inspiring things do you say to yourself?

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_regina/]

+ Someday you'll have a Ph.D and a university job and that bitch will stil be a convicted felon who isn't allowed to visit Australia.

+ I can't feed my dog if I'm in jail for murder.

+ When you've had as much training and experience in this area as I have, or, you know, ANY, then you can tell me how to do things. Until then. shut the fuck up and focus on *your* job.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

I quote Mel Brooks' The 12 Chairs: "I hate people I don't like."

[issyadore.livejournal.com]

+ WWAD? (What Would Ari Do)

ha! I say WWJD (What Would Jeeves Do)

[rainjewel.livejournal.com]

+ Don't get mad, you could be as stupid as them.

+ Oh, if I had a dull putty knife for every sorority chick I meet...

+ Harry Potter contains absolutely zero authentic advice or direction, so stop freaking out. It's not real. Just like the Bible.

[copernica3.livejournal.com]

+ Self, you would not enjoy jail. They do not have chocolate, your pets, or a good selection of books. Do *not* hit that person until blood splatters.

+ Why do all people who like Bush not explode?

+ Self, you have a journalism degree. You have been known to edit things for money. Could you get through a three-sentence email/lj comment without at least one typo for fucking once? Damn.

[antheia.livejournal.com]

+ "But they're so STUPID" doesn't count as justifiable homicide.

+ They're totally wasting my oxygen.

And I have a free-floating diatribe against myself when I'm being a total pillock.

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

I like to quote Frank Pembleton: Please don't be an idiot. Thank you.

[random-flores.livejournal.com]

Some people just don't like lamb. Dammit.

LMFAO.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you're not one of them.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Shit, you don't have FX. I was going to ask if you'd seen Theif. *loves Andre Braugher like whoa*

Re: LMFAO.

[random-flores.livejournal.com]

LOL. Let's just say I can still be a picky eater.

Re: LMFAO.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I so didn't just read that.

Re: LMFAO.

[random-flores.livejournal.com]

*evil grin*

You went there. I followed.

Re: LMFAO.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You brought up the sacrifical lamb!

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

Hi. That was me. wtf.

Re: LMFAO.

[random-flores.livejournal.com]

Aha, but you made it about me by insiunating that I was a big ole lamb eater. I simply corrected the statement. ;-)

[plumtastic.livejournal.com]

Or as I always mutter darkly, "Why do I have to be the one to suffer fools?"

That and a laying a pox on people's houses goes a long way in my world.

[poor-choices.livejournal.com]

I once had a long internal conversation with myself about how it was a bad idea to talk to myself.

Then the next time I tried it, I just said, "No, you're not allowed to talk to yourself. We've talked about this." Which confused me for several minutes, because I'm awesome like that.

[yellow-oranges.livejournal.com]

+ The universe will take care of it without any help from me.

When that doesn't work:

+ Motherfucker, cocksucker!

[mellafe.livejournal.com]

- hakuna matata. (I say that a lot)
- Fuck'em
- People are stupid.
- Kill'em all!

[shoewhore.livejournal.com]

+ Are you sure you want to know the answer to that? Because you might not like what I have to say, so why don't you think about that question, and then let me know if you REALLY want to know the answer...

+ C U Next Tuesday, BITCHES!!! (I say that in the car, a lot)

+ Here's an idea... Why dont you piss up a rope, and climb it?

+ Karma's a bitch.

+ If it's not 4:20, get that fucking clock out of my face!! (I don't really say that, but I THINK it, a WHOLE lot when I'm at work!)

[gypsyjolie.livejournal.com]

Your icon makes me bow before you. That's the best icon I've seen in a very long time.

[kaethe.livejournal.com]

I sing the "just keep swimming" song to myself, complete with Dorrie voice.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

+ Someday you'll have a Ph.D and a university job and that bitch will stil be a convicted felon who isn't allowed to visit Australia.

*dies*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yes, absolutely.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

+ Harry Potter contains absolutely zero authentic advice or direction, so stop freaking out. It's not real. Just like the Bible.

Harry Potter is the Bible! Or, you know, NOT.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

+ Self, you have a journalism degree. You have been known to edit things for money. Could you get through a three-sentence email/lj comment without at least one typo for fucking once? Damn.

I gave up the ghost on that one I while back, yo, just saying.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

And I have a free-floating diatribe against myself when I'm being a total pillock.

Oh, that's my favorite when it's all: What are you doing? I dunno... Then why are you doing it? Uh, is that a trick question? OMG, why are we being so stupid? I blame you.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I'd know you anywhere, you. Do you have any interest in actually seeing it though?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is all about the pox.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

That's priceless. Seriously.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, don't even get started on the hollering of syphilitic whore! motherfucking cocksucker. It just feels good to type those -- they're that theraputic.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

:)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

WORD!

+ Are you sure you want to know the answer to that? Because you might not like what I have to say, so why don't you think about that question, and then let me know if you REALLY want to know the answer...

You know this is like my automatic disclaimer, right? Of course you do, that's why we get on. Also, the collective biography will be called Life, Love and the Pursuit of 420

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It was made by foursides

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

LOL.

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

uhhhhh...honestly, not right now. I've got so many other shows I've been watching. (omg, have I told you about Traders? Remind me to tell you about Traders sometime.)

[antheia.livejournal.com]

Mine generally starts with "What the fuck are you doing?" and ends with "You realise you're talking to yourself again? Haven't we discussed this?"

[khalanasa.livejournal.com]

*C'est la vie - pronouced completely wrong/American on purpose. I say this to people and in my head ALL the time and somehow, it really does help me regain just a little bit of that zen.

*The entire fuck rant from The Boondock Saints- the one that ends in "Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word." In my head. And other favorite nasty phrase to call people in my head, "you cum-sucking son of a syphilitic whore"

*From my hero, Harlan Ellison, man never suffered a fool a day in his life, the quote about stupidity being the most common element in the universe.

[parthenia14.livejournal.com]

Mostly after being dissed by someone in a shop:

"I hope your rabbit dies and you can't sell the hutch." (ancient West Country saying)

[aukestrel.livejournal.com]

Currently in my head:

+It's Billy TaLLent!

+The band was Jenifur, not Jennifer.

+I hate everyone except you, you, and you. I do. I HATE you.

[shoewhore.livejournal.com]

I like it when I get to actually say that to someone and they go, "No... I really want to know. Tell me...". Because, then I get a chance to UNLEASH!! Mwwaahahahahahaha!!!!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I like it when I get to actually say that to someone and they go, "No... I really want to know. Tell me...". Because, then I get a chance to UNLEASH!! Mwwaahahahahahaha!!!!

WORD!