Choose your own ending!

[hackthis_archive]

Today, we play a game called Find Jake Gyllenhaal a Boyfriend Because Jared Leto is a Dick and Hackthis Doesn't Want to Write Him in the Story

Seriously, there's nothing like getting mid-story and finding out the Leading Actor is a major arse. Thankfully, I don't have to stick with casting, unlike Hollywood, so, I'm looking for suggestions that are not married, geriatic, asshole of the month or impossibly straight. Plausibility is key, and sadly, I am not allowed to use Ryan Gosling, so show me what else you've got. Make the case for your man.*

NO MAN WHORES OR SKEEZY MEN ALLOWED!

*Disclaimer: By posting here, you agree to give all your base, err, commentary rights to The Management, who you can just call Ari.

Comments

[murklins.livejournal.com]

Okay, so he's British and unknown and only 19. BUT Robert Pattinson is really, really good looking (http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a400/murklins/rp.jpg). And he's in a band called Bad Girls. (Please ignore the fact that he refers to it as his "first girlfriend's current boyfriend's" band -- concentrate on the fact that the boyfriend invited him.) I don't actually know anything about him other than what is in this article (http://www.virgin.net/movies/interviews/robertpattinson.html). But c'mon, that photo is hot. And maybe he's young enough for a sexual crisis.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

He's so hot the baby hackthis wept. His eyebrows need help though.

[murklins.livejournal.com]

Do they ever. Why are people so strangely blind to their own eyebrow flaws? It seems like sometimes nothing will do but a caring friend willing to take advantage of a drunken slumber and a convenient pair of tweezers.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I think though, if this particular caring friend came upon said victim in a drunken slumber, eyebrow tweezing might be the last thing on the mind. ;)

[avid-slacker.livejournal.com]

I actually have a Jared Leto is an ass story. My friend works as a waitress at Denny's and a couple of years ago she was working the late shift when Jared and his brother came in. She said they were unbelieveably loud, demanding and kept disturbing the other patrons, so much so that the manager made them leave.

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

What about Micheal Pitt? Not related to Brad at all, btw. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0685856/
Besides, the was definite UST between Mike and Ryan Gosling on the set of Murder by Numbers. He's in a band and is really talented in other stuff. Most of all, I think that Jake and Mike look really good together and I get the impression that Mike isn't an utter arse. Plus the hot, quasi-Kurt Cobain thing he has going when he's scruffy. He cleans up well, too.

[wheresmytower.livejournal.com]

http://imdb.com/name/nm0402271/

I know nothing about him personally other than the pretty, but the role of Nicholas Nickelby isn't exactly the manliest thing to come down the pike. Also, he had way more chemistry with the character Smike than with Anne Hathaway.

[mystisblom.livejournal.com]

what about Elijah Wood I mean he's kinda gayish and they would make a nice couple all grown up with little outburst on the childish side.

Or what about Viggo I mean there is nothing about the older guy *G* and you already have him as part of the story.

Another nice guy would be Colin Farrell all bad and Jake could swoon over him like he's so hot and bad and he never called after we spend 3 days in bed. *G*

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Since I presume you do not know about my abject hatred of all things related to the wombat, or that in big letters I said NO MAN WHORES!, I will just pretend like you thought the Viggo/Jake was a good idea.

[blueandomlettes.livejournal.com]

I know im a lil late to this casting party, and i haven't read what anyone else suggested so I might be just backing up someone elses suggestion, but I think you should throw in either David Anders ( either as himself or as Sark- actually as sark would be wierd and cracked out and hot all at the same time) or Ryan Phillippe cause I haven't ever seen him in a story and I think its about time.

[kismeteve.livejournal.com]

Well, I've just got to say that if you're going to mention Anderson Cooper in a story, you might as well go whole hog and hook him up with Jake. He needs to find someone to help him get his mind off of Jon Stewart. Being fixated on a married man isn't too smart. As Hayden knows.

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

Just out of curiostity, how do ya know he's obsessed about Jon Stewart? Or is it something you just percieve? But I will agree that Jon is total funny,geeky hotness.

[kismeteve.livejournal.com]

Have you seen Anderson's appearances on the Daily Show? He and Jon Stewart have this gawky, adorable flirting thing going on. I have a little imaginary backstory about the two of them.

[tibididim.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I was going to suggest Topher Grace, because he has that slight deadpan reserve thing, and is different enough from Jared Leto, plus he's not too famous to turn the job down or unknown enough to make his being hired pointless. But the person who suggested Viggo is onto something- thing is, I see him as more the crazy mentor- type.

[smonsterbite.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I can't recall you ever commenting on this person, pro or con, so I'll take a chance. (although, you've probably already cast someone)

Randy Harrison (http://www.theatermania.com/content/news.cfm/story/6083), aka Justin Taylor from QaF US. Definitely not married, geriatric, or impossibly straight. Whether he's an asshole, I haven't heard. Here's (http://www.berkshiretheatre.org/gallery/album01/Randy_Harrison) link (warning; HUGE photo, HUGE!) to a head shot. Take your time; scroll. Note the well-groomed brows, the piercing (blue) eyes, the bow mouth slightly parted, the silky hair falling gently to one side...

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

Damn. I've caught a few eps, and he is fine.

[shaney.livejournal.com]

Orlando Bloom?

[mattador.livejournal.com]

Another vote for Michael Pitt.