hackthis_archive ([personal profile] hackthis_archive) wrote2006-10-13 12:57 pm
Entry tags:

For my anonymous donor


Meet the First Son!
Meet the First Son!



Washington, D.C., White House Press Room -- The President of the United States and the First Gentleman have adopted a child from the great country of California. The five month-old boy, seen here in his first offical press release, a brochure promoting the Toys for Tots charity, is named Cooper Nicholas Clooney after the First Gentleman, and the President's father.

During the press conference to announce the adoption, the President quoted the First Gentleman by saying that the U.S. should take care of its own children before pilfering from other countries. He also went on to say he planned on collecting the $40,000 owed to him by Nicole Kidman and Michelle Pfeiffer for the First Son's college fund.

"Nicole and Michelle thought I'd never make it to 50 without being a dad, but the joke's on them, because I just turned 50," the President said proudly. "If they could pay up sooner rather than later Anderson and I would appreciate it, because college is going to be expensive by the time Nick is ready to go."

While the First Son wasn't at the press conference, attendees were able to hear his cooing from the White House hall and the President had baby spit-up on his Brioni suit. The First Family have requested that instead of sending money and baby presents the public please donate to:

The National Adoption Center
1500 Walnut Street, Suite 701,
Philadelphia, PA, 19102
1-800-TO-ADOPT


Thank you to whomever bought me the flower, I am very touched

[identity profile] lyra-sena.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
That sound you hear is my ovaries exploding.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I've had that photo since, oh, forever, because that kid is just so frakking adorable that it could instantly dissolve even the worst mood.

[identity profile] whatdanidigs.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I love to death these little future tidbits.

And also that maybe is the cutest thing ever.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Babies are adorable. It's just the honest truth.

[identity profile] chicklet-girl.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Gloria's like, "This hat? Really? Is that really the direction you want to go, Anderson? [pause] No, there's nothing wrong with it per se, it's just... granny squares?"

Not that she has to worry, of course; knitters and crocheters across the country are wielding needles and hooks in a mad frenzy of gift-making for the First Son.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Anderson understands where his mom's coming from, really, it's not exactly the Burberry booties that he'd wanted to use for Nick's first photos, but the hat was made by George's mom, and there's no way he's trying to cross her.

George also pointed out that 'an eccentric knit hat' (his words) was much more endearing to middle America than a baby with a silver rattle. To which Anderson bristled, because he'd never had a silver rattle, it had been platinum.

[identity profile] cyanei.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Should he not be called the First Gentleman?

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Which one? Anderson on the baby?

[identity profile] vertrauen.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Anderson. First Lady vs. First Gentlemen and all that. I've wanted to say something about it as well, but I love this 'verse so much, I didn't want to upset the balance.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
*blinks* You know, I think I realized that and then completely forgot, but fear not, we can go back and sort it out!

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I have gone back and sorted out the First Gentleman properly, and really it's okay to point out when I screw up, all I ask is that you be tactful about it. Like you guys just did. If you say 'You stupid bitch, you fucked it all up!' then I might get a little touchy.

[identity profile] vertrauen.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
As well you should! I'll remember that for the future. :)

[identity profile] cyanei.livejournal.com 2006-10-14 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
I was quite worried that I came off sounding like a bastard. I'm glad you didn't take it that way, dude!

[identity profile] cyanei.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Anderson. Lady is to gentleman as woman is to man?

[identity profile] vertrauen.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 09:31 pm (UTC)(link)
N'aw. ♥

[identity profile] vertrauen.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
The cheeks and the HAT. Perfect choice. :)

[identity profile] serialkarma.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
the President had baby spit-up on his Brioni suit.

heeeeee.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
It's all you, baby.

[identity profile] prairiedaun.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Gah. I've totally been in this weird nesting mode for the past few weeks. My mind just goes baby and I'm reaching for the needles, trying to figure out how to make that hat (crochet, yes, but there has to be a way in knit).

And then, you know. George. Anderson. Baby.

(ps. I liked this a lot.)

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Welcome to the wonderful world of biological clocks, sweetie. Have a seat, do some knitting, put a heat pad on your uterus to control the pangs.

p.s If you manage to knit the hat you will put up pictures and tell me, right?

[identity profile] prairiedaun.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I will.

Part of it right now is that my BFF from when we were wee is now pregnant (I'm looking forward to knitting many things in the future.) So I'm all "booties! blankies! wee snugglies!"

The worst for encouraging these pangs are the Debbie Bliss baby knits books. They're just so adorable! N'awww.

And then I remember that I'm lucky if I can get to school on time and without tripping over my feet and falling into things, and I think "maybe not right now."

[identity profile] cluelessinlife.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
My heart just went "awwww" and melted!

I love this PA's from the future, keep them up please :D

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-14 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Babies! Babies everywhere!

[identity profile] teenygozer.livejournal.com 2006-10-13 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
For a split second, I was in the President Lex/First Gentleman Clark place and was all, "Connor?! What blue eyes you have!"

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-14 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL. Right job, wrong president.

[identity profile] avid-slacker.livejournal.com 2006-10-14 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
Y'know the cynical part of my brain sometimes wonders if celebs adopt just so they can make sure that they have appropriately attractive kids, but George and Anderson would never do that, they just got lucky. So cute.

BTW I saw your post asking what I thought of FNL, but it was like a week later 'cause I lose at keeping track of my flist.
I thought the show was okay, but not as good as I'd hoped it would be. It seemed like they used all of the best scenes/dialogue in the promos, and unfortunately alot of it worked better than in the original context. But I have big love for Kyle Chandler and I like both quarterbacks so I'll stick around for a while.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-14 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Y'know the cynical part of my brain sometimes wonders if celebs adopt just so they can make sure that they have appropriately attractive kids, but George and Anderson would never do that, they just got lucky. So cute.

Truly, George was hoping for a girl, a little hispanic girl, but her grandparents adopted her, and then there was another boy, but that adoption fell through. Adoption's not easy, even when you're the president.

As for FNL I don't know *what* to think. The pilot was horribly dry, but I do love the two quarterbacks, and the second episode was better, but still. They're prolly gonna kill it. I think they're moving it to Friday.

[identity profile] avid-slacker.livejournal.com 2006-10-15 07:21 am (UTC)(link)
Of course he was hoping for a girl, all of George's charm and Anderson's intensity wrapped in a sweet, innocent-loking package. She would own the world before she got to Kindergarten. I love that you wrote a whole new story in 2 sentences.

About FNL, they're definitely gonna kill it if the ratings don't come up quick.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-16 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course he was hoping for a girl, all of George's charm and Anderson's intensity wrapped in a sweet, innocent-loking package. She would own the world before she got to Kindergarten. I love that you wrote a whole new story in 2 sentences.

The next kid is going to be a girl. George is not going to take no for an answer next time. Nick needs a sibling, George needs a daughter, and Anderson needs someone to pass along all his mother's fabublous retro couture too.

He tells Anderson this while he's burping Nick and sitting in an antique rocking chair they found in the basement that used to belong to JFK.

Anderson just nods his head and watches his son drool all over George's neck.

[identity profile] avid-slacker.livejournal.com 2006-10-19 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
and Anderson needs someone to pass along all his mother's fabublous retro couture too.
Oh the pressure of carrying on the fashion legacy. The rest of it will be cake by comparison.

I always forget who Anderson's mom is, but once reminded I always think of his appearance on Conan where he talked about proof reading her autobiography and being subjected to detailed accounts of her experiences with cunnilingus.
Not surprising he chose George.

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-19 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
Anderson's mom is Gloria Vanderbilt. Yeah, that Gloria Vanderbilt. Anderson's got bank for DAYS.

[identity profile] avid-slacker.livejournal.com 2006-10-19 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
Anderson's mom is Gloria Vanderbilt. Yeah, that Gloria Vanderbilt. Anderson's got bank for DAYS.

I know, THE fashionista. It's just always a surprising reminder because Andy is a serious, hard-hitting journalist with a humanitarian bent and the association isn't immediate.

They remind me of that saying about square pegs being borne of round holes.

[identity profile] rubywisp.livejournal.com 2006-10-14 07:28 am (UTC)(link)
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. *is melted*

[identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com 2006-10-14 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Yaye!

[identity profile] antheia.livejournal.com 2006-10-16 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
And this is what I have to come home to? A few paragraphs of "OMG N'AW!!"

*smish*