Choose your own ending!

[hackthis_archive]

Today, we play a game called Find Jake Gyllenhaal a Boyfriend Because Jared Leto is a Dick and Hackthis Doesn't Want to Write Him in the Story

Seriously, there's nothing like getting mid-story and finding out the Leading Actor is a major arse. Thankfully, I don't have to stick with casting, unlike Hollywood, so, I'm looking for suggestions that are not married, geriatic, asshole of the month or impossibly straight. Plausibility is key, and sadly, I am not allowed to use Ryan Gosling, so show me what else you've got. Make the case for your man.*

NO MAN WHORES OR SKEEZY MEN ALLOWED!

*Disclaimer: By posting here, you agree to give all your base, err, commentary rights to The Management, who you can just call Ari.

Comments

[mellafe.livejournal.com]

Because all the good ones are taken? :(

[jonem.livejournal.com]

Um, Jamie Bell?

He's young and pretty, alhough I'm not sure where he's based at the moment.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_regina/]

I'd vote for Cillian Murphy if he wasn't married with a child, but maybe Jonathan Rhys Meyers? He hasn't joined any gay pride parades lately (that I know of), but he's certainly not going out of his way to give off straight vibes.

"A lot of men are very uptight, but I don't distinguish between male and female beauty. Beauty is beauty." (http://imdb.com/name/nm0001667/bio)

Also, he looked hot romping naked with Ewan in Velvet Goldmine.

[babyofthegroup.livejournal.com]

Which is a shame, really.

[chicklet-girl.livejournal.com]

How about The Delectable Bradley Cooper? Single (as far as I know), based in LA, pretty. Haven't heard about any assish behavior. Also, appropos of nothing, he used to play tennis with David Anders when they were on Alias, a mental image that makes me giggle madly when it isn't making me cross-eyed with lust.

[resmin.livejournal.com]

Obviously it is fate.

http://justjared.blogspot.com/2005/11/james-franco-annapolis.html

[aphelant.livejournal.com]

Oh, now that someone has suggested Neil Patrick Harris I'm squeeing and flailing all over the place. Why does he seem so perfect to me? It's the snark, I think. Have you seen 'How I Met Your Mother'? I mean, the snark. SNARK. Ah, geez.

*sends pretty little NPH in a bow tie covered in chocolate so you will pick him* *and maybe lick him a little. he'd like that*

[chicklet-girl.livejournal.com]

Oh, and they can bond over how awkward it is simulating getting fucked in their movies (Brokeback Mountain; Wet Hot American Summer).

[gravi-girl123.livejournal.com]

Don't mean to but in here but IAN SOMERHALDER YES!! I was thinking about him ;) he has my vote there.

[vylit.livejournal.com]

How about Bradley Cooper? He's adorable, unmarried, and KC is doing well.

[vylit.livejournal.com]

HA! I didn't even see this before I replied, but yes! Bradley is adorable and funny and talented.

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

Neil Patrick Harris needs love, and he and Jake would look so damn cute together, in a very hot way. James Franco leaves me cold, and JRM would leave Jake in a hot minute if Ewan and Jude invited him to play house. Jake needs commitment. My vote's with Neil.

I cannot believe you have mind-whammied me into putting that much thought into this.

[murklins.livejournal.com]

Okay, so he's British and unknown and only 19. BUT Robert Pattinson is really, really good looking (http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a400/murklins/rp.jpg). And he's in a band called Bad Girls. (Please ignore the fact that he refers to it as his "first girlfriend's current boyfriend's" band -- concentrate on the fact that the boyfriend invited him.) I don't actually know anything about him other than what is in this article (http://www.virgin.net/movies/interviews/robertpattinson.html). But c'mon, that photo is hot. And maybe he's young enough for a sexual crisis.

[avid-slacker.livejournal.com]

I actually have a Jared Leto is an ass story. My friend works as a waitress at Denny's and a couple of years ago she was working the late shift when Jared and his brother came in. She said they were unbelieveably loud, demanding and kept disturbing the other patrons, so much so that the manager made them leave.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

by the end of jarhead i couldn't stop thinking no, really, where the hell do i know him from?

and of course it was something else that you got me interested in. XD you are an excellent promoter.

[veradeath.livejournal.com]

What about Micheal Pitt? Not related to Brad at all, btw. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0685856/
Besides, the was definite UST between Mike and Ryan Gosling on the set of Murder by Numbers. He's in a band and is really talented in other stuff. Most of all, I think that Jake and Mike look really good together and I get the impression that Mike isn't an utter arse. Plus the hot, quasi-Kurt Cobain thing he has going when he's scruffy. He cleans up well, too.

[wheresmytower.livejournal.com]

http://imdb.com/name/nm0402271/

I know nothing about him personally other than the pretty, but the role of Nicholas Nickelby isn't exactly the manliest thing to come down the pike. Also, he had way more chemistry with the character Smike than with Anne Hathaway.

[mystisblom.livejournal.com]

what about Elijah Wood I mean he's kinda gayish and they would make a nice couple all grown up with little outburst on the childish side.

Or what about Viggo I mean there is nothing about the older guy *G* and you already have him as part of the story.

Another nice guy would be Colin Farrell all bad and Jake could swoon over him like he's so hot and bad and he never called after we spend 3 days in bed. *G*

[psycho-llama.livejournal.com]

Pfft, like it matters.

Quote (http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/57012004.htm) from Jennifer Connolly: "I don't like to multi-task, except (when) having sex. I do like to read a book while having sex. And talk on the phone. You can get so much done... If the room's dark enough I like to do some online shopping."

See, does it look like Jennifer would mind if you borrow him for just a bit?

[blueandomlettes.livejournal.com]

I know im a lil late to this casting party, and i haven't read what anyone else suggested so I might be just backing up someone elses suggestion, but I think you should throw in either David Anders ( either as himself or as Sark- actually as sark would be wierd and cracked out and hot all at the same time) or Ryan Phillippe cause I haven't ever seen him in a story and I think its about time.

[kismeteve.livejournal.com]

Well, I've just got to say that if you're going to mention Anderson Cooper in a story, you might as well go whole hog and hook him up with Jake. He needs to find someone to help him get his mind off of Jon Stewart. Being fixated on a married man isn't too smart. As Hayden knows.

[tibididim.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I was going to suggest Topher Grace, because he has that slight deadpan reserve thing, and is different enough from Jared Leto, plus he's not too famous to turn the job down or unknown enough to make his being hired pointless. But the person who suggested Viggo is onto something- thing is, I see him as more the crazy mentor- type.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Since I presume you do not know about my abject hatred of all things related to the wombat, or that in big letters I said NO MAN WHORES!, I will just pretend like you thought the Viggo/Jake was a good idea.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

He's so hot the baby hackthis wept. His eyebrows need help though.

[murklins.livejournal.com]

Do they ever. Why are people so strangely blind to their own eyebrow flaws? It seems like sometimes nothing will do but a caring friend willing to take advantage of a drunken slumber and a convenient pair of tweezers.