hackthis_archive | Oct. 3rd, 2006

Are London Bridges Falling Down?

Oscar-winner Clive Owen was in town last night promoting his latest film Why Am I So Hot and How Can You Not Recognise This? and according to sources very close to the situation, the President cut short a phone call with Gael Garcia Bernal, the President of Mexico, to have dinner with Owen.

"George and Clive don't just have unfinished business, they are unfinished business," the source said somewhat gleefully. "Anderson can't even watch Clive's movies with the president without stomping off in a huff. It's even worse than when George had that thing for Jake Gyllenhaal."

Readers will recall years before the president was the president, he made a huge splash in the proverbial pond with statements about the hotness of Mr Owen, as well as the Prime Minister of Australia, Cate Blanchett. Just not together. Although that would probably send this reporter into cardiac arrhythmia.

At the time of those statements the president was still a free man and dating with abandon, but since Mr Owen was involved, the two have always denied any relations.

While no photographic evidence is available of Owen entering the White House, or of the President even leaving last night, sources assure me that the two men dined together well into the wee hours on a decadent six-course meal provided by the White House chef, Jack Bourdain.

When asked about the dinner at this morning's press conference, and what the First Gentleman (currently in Europe to speak before the UN) thought, Chief of Staff Ari Gold narrowed his eyes and answered with his usual aplomb. "No fucking comment, you cocksucking whoremongerer. I hope you catch syphilis from the page you're fucking, and your dick falls off."

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