idealists are the cruelest monsters of them all.

1. Dear Internets: sparky77! is the best.

2. Dear Internets: maurheti is the best.

3. Dear Internets: romanticalgirl is the best.

Enablers ho! Now let's get down to business.

*I created a thank you music mix for #2 and #3, which I now feel compelled to share, because the tunes are just that awesome. Special thanks to moneyfolder for her contributions.

* On last night's Daily Show, Jon interviewed Sebastian Junger (The Perfect Storm). Mr. Junger was shilling for his new book, WAR. This book was about the time he spent embedded with Army soldiers on the Iraq/Pakistan border. It was about the troops and how they hoped for battles to stop the boredom. It was about how you could hate somebody and still work beside them. It was the most freakish sense of deja vu ever. If they had started talking about being hired to work at Hustler while on Xanax, I'd've thought Evan Wright had had plastic surgery. Don't believe me? Watch for yourself.

I've been thinking about Ben McKenzie a lot recently. Okay, I've been thinking about Ben Sherman a lot lately. No, I've been thinking about them both. In fact, there was supposed to be a small ficlet here about Ben and Cooper, but then I realized I might need to save that for something else.

In conclusion, who's seen The Losers?

I have! And maurheti has. And sparky77 has. Three of us cannot make a fandom. Okay, that's not true. ONE CAN MAKE A FANDOM (Always remember that. Ari is proof of that). I assume this is how I have 100 500 words of The Losers/Leverage for sparky77.


Leverage/The Losers
Hardison/Jensen, Eliot, Parker
Rated Crack

( My Boyfriend's Back (And You're Gonna Be in Trouble) )

To all my lurkers: It was so nice to hear from you and I assure you every day is Amnesty Day so always feel free to drop by.

FYI: there is no defense for this. There is only the crack and the crack is AWESOME. Based on some random concept that I threw out there yesterday...

For lazlet, serialkarma and sparky77, who I suspect are the only people that will actually appreciate it. Inspired by the striking resemblance between Jeremy Renner and Ben McKenzie, I present:

Southland/The Unusuals
Ben/Cooper, Walsh
Rated PG-13

A Bad Man Would Be Good For You

( It starts with a phone call. )

1. Kings premieres this Sunday on NBC at 8pm. Raise your hand if you're already thinking about the slash opportunities. Biblical slash, people, Old Testament style. Now with canon gay characters! Is everybody's really going to hell this time? Hey, at least it's informative religious studies; I'll bring my rollerskates. Where are the comms?

2. NBC announced their summer schedules, and MERLIN (yes, that Merlin) has been bumped from Winter 2009 to this summer. In fact, Merlin will premiere on NBC on June 21st at 8pm. Put it in your Crackberries.

3. Last night, everybody's Favorite Jewish Boyfriend (TM) (no, the other one) Jon Stewart, took Jim Cramer from CNBC out in the street and delivered the kind of awesome verbal smackdown that will require five minutes alone in a quiet place.

4. Leave Michael Phelps the fuck alone. It was weed, not ground up baby seals, people! Jesus, the hypocrisy burns, Matt Lauer who suspiciously traded in his last wife for a younger model.

5. Just two more episodes of BSG? Really?! SADNESS!

6. GK people, is PJ's interview from The Guardian up yet? I cannot find it among the 15,000 links on the website.

6. Is it time for summer telly yet? because I have nothing to watch until then. Really. No Mad Men, Leverage, Burn Notice, Psych, Merlin (yet again), Desperate Housewives of Atlanta... Tabitha's Salon Takeover (oh, come that's hysterical). Right now I have...zero shows. (BSG is nearly gone). Sadness. I shall go watch Skins or something. Also, 2 people who love(d) Skins, I had a dream the other night where Maxxie was in bed with Tony, but Tony's an ass, so this was distressing as hell.

See this? That's your set up.

For jenna_thorn and amberlynne, who put a name with a body. A really hot body.

Olympics RPS
Sebastien Bodet/Clement Lefert, NC17
Does this really need a crack! disclaimer?

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?


( It's swimming porn; let's not pretend otherwise. )

There's this 4th of July Ficathon happening over at hard4brains and this is melded from a lot of prompts, so, uh, yeah.

Live Free or Die Hard
John McClane/Matt Farrell
Rated R (inadvertent drug usage, head shaving and masturbation, oh my!)


Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before


( Naming things just makes you think about them really hard. )

This is for lamardeuse who introduced me to this pairing in the first place.

Live Free or Die Hard
Spoilers for Die Hard 1-4
John McClane/Matt Farrell
Rated PG-13

The Height of Technology is Frozen Pizza


(  Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. )

It's early. I have had caffeine. I am very pliable at times such as these. So when antheia said Benton Fraser/Stephen Colbert. National Threat. I said – well, I just wrote.

For you antheia


The Colbert Report/due South
Stephen Colbert/Benton Fraser


( Ask Not What You Can Do For Canada, but What it Can Do For You! )

I'm gonna let you guys in on a little secret. On Sunday it's ethrosdemon's birthday. So, what does that mean for me? Pain. Lots and lots of pain.

It might not seem like it from the other side, but K and I don't really have the same taste fandom and character wise. I mean, we can agree on the greats: Blaise, Lex, Draco, Galen, but we tend to see them differently. And when we diverge. Man, do we diverge. She still can't forgive me for due South, I just point to pop scene. Or pop fandom, I don't even know what it's called. She laments that I devour SGA stories, I think I'd rather watch paint dry than go through Supernatural. And the bitch is ALWAYS late to shit. I tell her Lost! Smallville! BSG! She ignores me and then shows up eight months later. *pauses* I only bitch because I care.

Anyroad, we tend to see birthdays as comeuppance, AKA, I am getting revenge on you, bitch, and you are going to write me what *I* like. This started the year she was all LOTRips crazy and made me write Viggo. I *still* have the scars from that one. *lifts shirt and shows back*

This year she wrote me Neville-fic. I should've known my pound of flesh was gonna hurt. And then she had the nerve to say WB RPS. Like, like, Ari-fic and HP weren't enough. *scowls*

I hate you, Kassie. Happy Birthday, whore.


WB RPS
Rated R for all kinds of badness. Yay, badness!
Still the Prettiest in the Land


( I don't know a lot of guys who bitch about being too pretty. Are you overcome by all the ass you've been getting or somethin'? Cause, if you are, you can totally send'em over to me. )

I said: I see the inability to write when I want as a kind of mental constipation.

serialkarma said: The world does not have enough Due South/Dead Like Me crossovers, in which George runs into Dead Bob and leaves feeling thoroughly confused and disgruntled...

This is bran.

due South/Dead Like Me
( Modern Life is Rubbish )