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Telegraph Avenue V: A Movie Script Ending
That night Seth dreamt that he gave Jamie a blowjob on the stage of Greek Theatre during a set by the Grateful Dead. Jerry Garcia was still alive, too, except he looked just like Rusty who really *was* Prince Harry.
When Seth finished, Jerry/Rusty/Harry announced to a packed amphitheater that he was failing Seth on his oral technique, which was insane since Rusty taught *Psychology*, not oral anything. Excluding that whole Freud thing.
Plus, Seth had watched enough porn to know that nobody looked dignified when they were giving head. But then Rusty expelled Seth from school for his lack of skills, and when Seth came home to pack, Ryan was waiting for him naked, wearing an AAA map of Seattle.
As far as dreams went, it wasn’t necessarily a bad one, but the obviousness freaked Seth out so badly that he couldn’t even jerk off when he woke up, which was unheard of.
Disgruntled, he slept fitfully for the rest of the night until the shrillness of the phone ringing woke him up permanently. Staggering out of bed, he wandered into the living room only to be assaulted by several half-inflated balloons and the smell of bacon.
It was too much, too early, and while attempting to push the balloons away, he slipped on his on skateboard, fell over the arm of the sofa and landed on the floor between the coffee table and the sofa. It hurt, but he probably deserved it for bailing on Ryan the night before.
On the upswing, he was now close to his table full of presents, and judging by the size of the box with her name on it, Seth felt pretty sure Summer had gone the boxers route again.
Not that he was complaining.
He glanced up when Ryan began clapping, the phone tucked against his neck and an amused expression on his face. He was fully dressed in jeans and a shirt that Seth’s mom had bought him last Christmas/ Hanukah/ whatever the hell they were celebrating that year.
He flipped Ryan the bird, figuring that was less obvious than kissing Ryan’s feet for not being bitter about his behavior last night. Ryan, in turn, smirked and went back to his conversation.
Seth unwrapped several attacking balloons from his legs, scrambled to his feet and clambered up on the sofa. When he sat on something hot, he jumped up cursing about karmic retribution, only to realize that he’d sat on breakfast. Or what he presumed was breakfast since it was hot and was wrapped in a McDonald’s bag.
“You’re supposed to eat that,” Ryan’s voice came from to his left, and Seth glanced up as Ryan set the phone on the end table.
“Thanks for that service announcement; I forgot that McDonald’s hadn’t been outlawed by the FDA yet.”
Ryan’s raised eyebrow said it all. “I had thought about cooking, but I wasn’t sure you were coming out your room today. I mean since you seemed so intent on being in there earlier this morning.”
Seth colored and his mouth opened and closed wordlessly. He finally settled on, ”Yeah, about that: sorry.”
Ryan waited, but when nothing else was forthcoming, he shook his head and sat down on the sofa. Seth considered his options and opted for defensiveness. He shot Ryan a dirty look and made a deliberate show of reaching into the paper bag and pulling out an EggMcMuffin sandwich.
Then he blinked.
“Aw, man. With cheese? And bacon? Yes, you are a god,” he said, unwrapping the sandwich enough to take a large bite. “I haven’t had one of these since we got here.”
“Because McDonalds is *so* far away.” Ryan reached out and took the bag away from Seth. “Why’s mine flat?” he asked, turning his sandwich over in his hands a few times.
Seth shrugged, before turning back to the coffee table and his cache of presents. Stuffing his sandwich in his mouth, he sat down and began sorting through the packages on the table. There were several from his mom and dad, one from Summer, and at least three from his grandpa, which he hoped Gabby had picked out. There were none from Ryan.
He turned when he felt the cushion next to him shift under Ryan’s weight. “Dude, where is it?”
Ryan was rustling around in the McDonald’s bag. He looked up after pulling out a large hash brown. “Where’s what?”
“My *present*,” Seth said as though Ryan were slow.
Ryan looked at Seth as though he were blind. “There are about fifteen of them on the table in front of you.”
“No, I mean the one from you.”
Ryan snorted and gestured towards the sandwich wrapper in Seth’s lap. “You’re eating it.”
Seth blinked. “Dude.”
Ryan took a large bite of his hash brown, and finished chewing before gesturing to the bag in his lap. “You want yours or what?”
Seth snatched at the bag, giving the contents a perfunctory glance to make sure there wasn’t a comic book hiding it or something. “Seriously, where is it?”
“Where’s what?”
“*Ryan*.”
Ryan’s lips twitched. “Your sense of entitlement is so Newport. What makes you think I bought you anything?”
“Seriously. Don’t mess around, what’d you get me?”
Ryan chuckled around another bite of hash brown. “I have a scholarship and work part-time, what makes you think I have money to buy you presents?”
The biscuit in Seth’s mouth tasted very dry as he glanced at the table of presents. His parents and grandfather had probably spent a few grand on whatever was in those boxes, and Ryan was slaving just to get by. The injustice made Seth’s stomach turn, but why did Ryan have to be so fucking hardheaded all the time?
Couldn’t he just accept that he was a part of the family? Probably not.
Seth turned back to Ryan to apologize and was cut off by the phone ringing, again. Ryan tossed the handset to him. “It’s probably for you anyway.”
“Yeah?” Seth answered the phone absently.
“I see your phone skills haven’t improved in the last seven hours,” Jamie said, and Seth flushed. He glanced everywhere, except at Ryan, and clambered to his feet.
“Hey,” Seth said softly, walking into the kitchen.
“How’s the birthday boy?”
“Good.”
“Just good?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Jamie was silent over the crackling of the cordless phone. “Maybe I can make that better?” he suggested.
“Does this involve lots of alcohol and illicit substances?” Seth perked up before he opened the refrigerator and was assaulted by the smell of something going rotten. There was so much mold on some of the stuff he couldn’t be sure what was what.
Jamie laughed. “Not quite, but it could involve nudity and birthday cake.”
Seth froze with his hand on something that might‘ve been a burrito in another life. “Huh.”
“Interested?”
Nodding his head, Seth leaned down and eyed several cans of Beast. He could have beer at nine in the morning on his birthday. It was his *birthday*. He was going to be legal next year anyway.
That was close enough.
“I have plans for you, Mr. Cohen.” Jamie’s voice was seductive even through the static, and Seth paused mid-reach. Trying to concentrate on what might bite him in the fridge was very difficult when Jamie sounded like he worked as a phone sex operator. Not that Seth knew what male phone sex operators sounded like or anything.
Right.
“Huh.” he repeated eloquently.
“Is that all you can say?”
Seth’s mind whizzed around trying to find the most innocuous, yet flirtatious comment possible. One pretty much negated the other, but Ryan probably wouldn’t let it go again, if Seth locked himself in the bathroom with the phone, either.
Whatever Jamie said next, though, was lost on Seth when two pieces of paper obscured his vision of the contents of the fridge, and his train of thought got derailed.
He blinked when he realized Ryan was standing right next to him, and straightened back up. “Hold on,” he said into the phone, cradling it between his neck and shoulder, before taking the papers that Ryan was offering.
He dropped the phone when he read the print on the purple and white tickets.
“Dude,” he said in a hoarse whisper.
Ryan grinned.
“*Dude*,” Seth repeated.
Blindly, he bent down and scrabbled for the phone. “I’ll call you back,” he said, hanging up without waiting for an answer.
He looked at Ryan from where he was squatting on the grimy linoleum, clutching the tickets in his hand like they were invitations to visit Tony Hawk. “We’re going to the Bottom of the Hill to see Matt Nathanson?”
Ryan shrugged. “Unless you’ve got better plans?”
Seth felt as though his face were going to split in half with glee. He stood back up, and waved the tickets in Ryan’s face. “We’re going to go see Matt Nathanson.”
“I know, I bought the tickets,” Ryan reminded him.
“Dude.”
“You said that already. Three times.”
Seth stared at the tickets in his hand for several seconds before looking back at Ryan. “Okay, would it be wrong if I hugged you now?”
“Because I’m taking you to the Bottom of the Hill?”
“Because I wanted to go to this gig badly enough to sell body parts; I told you that, but the tickets sold out in like five minutes,” Seth explained, hugging Ryan briefly. When he let go, Ryan didn’t move away immediately.
“That’s why you should always be nice to Erika in 2B,” he said, winking at Seth conspiratorially.
Seth thought for several seconds. “I thought she worked at the Paradise Lounge.”
“She got a new job.”
Seth grinned. “God bless, new employment.”
Ryan nodded his head. “Speaking of which, you need to get dressed so we can go.”
“Go where?”
“To get Max’s car.”
The blank look on Seth’s face said it all.
“Max who I work with? Asian guy with the eyebrow piercing?”
“Oh, right. He has a car? Wait, why are we using his car?”
“Because there are other things we’re doing first.”
Seth didn’t have to fake the confused expression. “Like what?”
“Like *stuff*.”
“Today?”
“Unless your birthday’s changed to another day.”
“Don’t you have classes today?”
“Yes, so do you.”
Seth’s mind whirred and sparked, in danger of catching on fire at any moment. “Wait. Is Ryan Atwood, Dean’s List scholar and all-around overachieving Architecture major, suggesting we skip classes today?”
Ryan stared at him. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to skip class.”
“What? No. I just, dude, *you* are skipping a class. This is, like, unheard of. Do you want me to call The Daily Californian and take out an ad? Should I take you over to Tang so you can see a doctor?”
Ryan snorted and pushed Seth out of the kitchen. “Go change, smart ass. We have things to do.”
*
The Bottom of the Hill had earned its name with good reason. It wasn’t a complete dive, but it wasn’t Radio City Music Hall either. The lighting was minimal and the scent of stale beer never quite left the air. The bar had cheap plastic seats in the back garden for drunken contemplation, and it was always full of people who wanted to be there.
The stage was the size of a compact car, however, and the noise level was out of control no matter where Seth tried to stand to wait for Ryan to return from the bar.
Eventually he was forced to wait next to the women’s bathroom and hope nobody slapped him for being a pervert. It might’ve been more fitting if he’d been waiting around the men’s bathroom any way, but his name wasn’t George Michael and the facilities were nasty. At least from where he stood, Seth could watch the roadies set up for Matt Nathanson’s set. Not that there was anything to set up beside the speakers, but whatever. Seth was feeling too good to be all contemplative anyway.
Today had pretty much been like the best day *ever*, second only to his first date with Summer and the day that Ryan’s guardianship papers had been finalized.
He’d pretty much had a spontaneous orgasm when they’d gone to pick up Max’s car, and Seth had discovered it was a 67 Shelby GT Mustang in prime condition.
The day had only gone up from there, like some sort of birthday Viagra.
They’d road tripped all over the East Bay before heading into the city in the afternoon. Ryan had taken Seth to Isotope Comic Book Lounge in the Sunset District, which Seth had heard about in mythical terms on par with Camelot and reaching the end of Pro Skater 5 without eating pavement. Ryan had had to physically drag Seth out of Isotope to get back to the Mission for dinner before the concert.
They’d wound up eating at a random burrito place that Ryan had said someone recommended, but for the first time in possibly forever, Seth hadn’t been that interested in food. He could have eaten cardboard for all he cared; it was enough just to spend the day with Ryan like they did back in Newport.
Seth never thought he would get nostalgic for high school, but spending the day with Ryan had reminded him so much of how things used to be that he couldn’t quite help himself. Plus, he couldn’t remember ever having a birthday like this one, and he briefly contemplated hara-kiri knowing that next year was never going to measure up.
Dismissing the idea as too messy, he rocked back and forth for several seconds in his sneakers only to stop when some girl leaving the bathroom gave him a weird look. He stuck his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall instead. When that had wasted all of thirty seconds, he turned back to the bar, wondering how long Ryan was going to be.
Something unpleasant twisted in his stomach when he caught sight of Ryan deep in conversation with a red-head girl. The discomfort abated slightly when Ryan pointed to him and beckoned him over.
Seth made his way through the crowd as quickly as he could, which really wasn’t saying much of anything. He’d seen snails make faster progress.
He apologized to some girl for something he wasn’t sure he’d done and then elbowed himself a place at the bar on Ryan’s left. They were pressed so close together, Seth could feel the belt loops from Ryan’s jeans pressing into his side.
“I’ve seen sardine cans with more room,” he muttered into Ryan’s shoulder, but whatever Ryan said back, Seth missed. He was distracted by the flaming shot glass which had suddenly appeared in front of him.
“Dude, what the hell is that?” he asked, looking from Ryan to the red-headed girl who was grinning at him. She had a nose ring, and her eyes were ringed in kohl liner.
“Happy Birthday, babe,” the girl said as she proceed to pull her hair into bun and secure it with a pencil she produced from nowhere.
Seth gaped.
“Erika?” he said, peering at the flaming red-hair on somebody who had been blonde the last time he’d seen her. “Your hair: it’s red.”
“You were expecting Nicole Kidman or a Weasley?” Erika retorted, as she clanked around behind the bar handing off bottles left and right. Ryan snorted beside Seth, and Seth glanced down at the flaming shot. It was really on fire.
“No! *No*, it looks good, just, you know, red. Not what it was the last time I saw you.”
“Whatever. You can kiss my ass later, Curly. Drink your shot, now, it’s burning off.”
Seth glanced down at the tiny shot glass, which was indeed burning blue. He glanced up at Ryan who nodded and then back at the glass. He stumbled slightly when somebody shifted behind him, pushing him directly into Ryan.
Seth put a hand on the sticky bar to support himself at the same time that Ryan reached out to steady him. Seth swallowed dryly when he realized Ryan’s hand was resting in the small of his back. Without moving.
Seth grabbed the shot, hesitated briefly, and then tossed it back.
Ryan grinned as Seth coughed up a lung. “Good?”
Seth just nodded, rubbing his chest absently to chase the burning sensation away.
Behind the bar, Erika emptied the contents of a martini shaker into two other shot glasses and pulled out a Zippo. “Have another one,” she said, lighting the first one and pushing it towards Seth.
“And one for your boyfriend,” she added with a wink as she pushed the other glass towards Ryan.
Seth was too busy downing his shot to respond, but he noticed that Ryan didn’t correct her. He also noticed that Ryan’s hand was very warm through his shirt.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and leaned into Ryan a little bit as he made small talk with Erika. Seth couldn’t hear much of the conversation, since the guy on his right was louder than Marv Albert. Erika laughed about something Ryan said though, and then she uncapped two Heinekens and set them on the bar.
She waved the money away when Ryan tried to pay her.
“It’s his birthday,” Erika said, grinning at Seth with impossibly white teeth. “And I know what it’s like to work your ass off so you spend on your money on your boyfriend. Or girlfriend, as the case may be,” she said as another bartender came up behind her and pulled the pencil out of her hair.
This blonde, Seth recognized immediately. “Hey, Tara,” he said with a nod.
“I hear it’s your birthday.” Tara slipped the pencil behind her ear as she rearranged Erika’s hair in another style. “Happy Birthday.”
“What you’d give them?” she said to Erika.
“Flaming Assholes.”
Both Ryan and Seth coughed loudly.
“Guys seem to like those,” Erika deadpanned.
When Tara was satisfied, she pulled the pencil out from behind her ear and handed it back to Erika. “Don’t stick that in your hair anymore,” she hollered over the din around the bar. “It yanks out the hair,” she added before poking Erika in the shoulder.
Nodding at Seth and Ryan, she wished Seth a happy birthday again, kissed Erika on the cheek and walked off.
Seth gaped again. “That’s your girlfriend?”
Erika raised a very dark eyebrow. “Yeah, pretty hot isn’t she?”
Ryan interrupted before Seth could get himself in trouble. “You’re sure you don’t want us to pay for these?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Erika dismissed them with a wave of her hand before turning to another customer. “Have a good time, enjoy the concert, get drunk and then get home and have loud sex: that’s what birthdays are for. Besides, we’re working late, so it won’t bother us.”
Rather than die of shock, Seth picked up his beer and took a large swig. Ryan’s hand hadn’t moved from his back in like ten minutes, and it was causing the wrong things to run through Seth’s mind, like seeing Ryan naked and blowing him on stage at the Greek Theatre. Except that wasn’t how the dream had gone, but Seth’s body wasn’t interesting in specifics.
He thought briefly of Jamie, but was distracted by the sound check occurring on stage.
He leaned in to tell Ryan something and started slightly when his lips brushed against Ryan’s ear. In response, Ryan’s hand pressed against his back slightly, as though keeping him from running away.
They were a lot closer than Seth had thought. No wonder his body was getting so excited.
“Huh?” he responded when Ryan looked at him expectantly.
“I said did you want to go someplace else?”
Seth blinked. There was absolutely no way Ryan was hitting on him. Not after three years. Except the hand on his back was rubbing in soothing circles, and Little Seth was getting really interested in the proceedings. Like way too interested. And yet, Seth didn’t move away.
“You mean closer to the stage?” Seth asked.
“Whatever you want,” Ryan said.
Seth bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood. “This is good. I mean here is good. Yeah, here. Good. We are good.”
Ryan’s eyebrows climbed upwards faster than Seth talked. Finally, to stem the flow of babbling, Seth took another swallow of beer and turned as much as possible towards the stage without dislodging Ryan’s hand. He prayed to Bill Graham and the gods of concerts everywhere that tonight’s gig would start on time, for once in his concert-going life.
He was shocked when people began clapping and Matt Nathanson ambled on to the stage.
“Thank you, Bill Graham,” he declared.
“Who?” Ryan asked from behind him.
Seth turned back to Ryan and almost dropped his beer as Ryan gazed at him expectantly from beneath his eyelashes. “Nobody.”
Ryan’s look of disbelief said it all.
“It’s not important,” Seth corrected.
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
*
The temperature in San Francisco was always at least five degrees colder than anywhere in the East Bay, but Seth was too full of alcohol to notice.
He sang under his breath happily as Ryan attempted to guide him down 17th Street to where the car was parked. Ryan’s hand was wrapped comfortably around Seth’s bicep as he attempted to steer him in the right direction, but Seth kept jumping on and off the curb and finally he dislodged himself long enough to spin around a parking meter three times before he had to stop for fear of puking.
He sat down in the gutter, under a streetlamp, and looked at all the trash underneath his sneakers.
“Seth, c’mon let me get you home,” Ryan said, crouching down so they were eye to eye.
Seth winked lasciviously. “I know you want to get me home, but relax, we live together.”
Ryan stared.
Seth carried on. “I‘m cool, you‘re cool, chill out, dude. You’re always so tense these days; I remember when you used to want to have fun. What happened to you, Ry, you don’t even want to party with me anymore? I’m persona non grata, right? You used to like me, man. We used to do stuff together. What happened?”
Ryan stood up, and Seth had to crane his neck to look at him. “We just spent the whole day together.”
“Yeah, but don’t you remember how it used to be? We used to go to the pier and hang out. We were amigos, we were like Ren and Stimpy or Dre and Snoop. We used to *do* stuff. We don’t do that anymore.”
The whole thing suddenly seemed very sad to Seth. He hiccupped.
Ryan sighed. Under the fluorescent streetlamp, he looked tired. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
Seth got to his feet, and put a hand on the parking meter to steady himself. “This is college; I want you to have a good time. Shit, Ryan, all you do is study and work.”
“Some of us –“
“I know you don’t want to take stuff from my family, but they’re your family, too, man. Don’t you know that yet? Plus, nobody is ever going to spend all that money, and if you don’t use it, it’ll just go to waste. I’ll be forced to buy every comic book ever made, and I am really not into Archie or Pokemon, so help me out. Don’t player hate.
“I miss this,” Seth said gesturing between he and Ryan several times.
Seth was still mid-thought when the world suddenly moved very fast, and he hit his back on a brick wall. It should have hurt like a bitch, but apparently all the Flaming Assholes had made him numb.
There was a big joke there.
Seth never tended to notice how much shorter Ryan was until they were close together. Like right now, when Ryan had him pressed against a solid wall.
“Okay,” he began, not quite sure where he was going with whatever he was going to say.
Ryan’s body covered his, and Seth squirmed slightly when he realized that Ryan’s thigh was pressed between his legs. The sensation was slightly more mind-altering than dropping tabs before watching cartoons, and Seth wriggled against the friction, which made his cock harden way too fast for his drunk brain. He grunted when Ryan’s right hand gripped his hip tightly.
“Oh-kay,” Seth began again, as Ryan reached up and tilted his chin down.
“Is this… Are you… Dude,” he breathed as Ryan closed his eyes and leaned forward. Whatever Seth had planned to ask was swallowed up by the kiss; and when Ryan’s mouth closed over Seth like a net, he let it happen.
Getting caught was not a bad thing.
Seth’s eyes fluttered shut as he moaned his agreement, and when Ryan pulled back, sucking on Seth’s lower lip, Seth’s knees began to wobble. He opened his eyes in a daze, mildly surprised to see Ryan watching him cautiously. He closed his eyes again, and seconds later Ryan launched a second attack, diving back in with teeth and tongue. The assault sent Seth’s mind on a trip like Alice in Wonderland.
Ryan’s kisses were hot and harsh, and he nuzzled the column of Seth’s neck, leaving little red suck marks in his wake. Seth wriggled happily, trying to give Ryan whatever he wanted as every nerve in his body screamed “fucking finally.”
For several minutes, he let Ryan be the aggressor, shifting where Ryan’s hand guided him and turning his head to give Ryan more exposure to wherever he wanted to be. Seth let Ryan’s tongue brush through his mouth, and he gripped the crumbling wall with short nails until it all got to be too much. When Ryan murmured his name against his collarbone, Seth’s tiny wisp of self-control vanished.
Wrapping his arms around Ryan’s waist, Seth’s hands slipped down until he was gripping Ryan’s ass with both hands. Using his legs and his hips, Seth urged Ryan to thrust against him as hard as possible.
He blindly kissed his way along Ryan’s jaw until he met parted lips, and he swallowed Ryan’s moans as he ground his leg against Ryan’s obvious erection.
“Fuck,” Ryan gasped against Seth’s neck as he attempted to keep up with the frenetic pace.
A hand which he’d hooked around Seth’s neck slid into Seth’s hair, and he pulled sharply as Seth nipped at his bottom lip.
The wall was rubbing Seth's spine raw, even through his shirt, but he couldn’t be bothered to notice. “Wanted you,” he groaned as Ryan’s thigh continually rubbed against his cock.
Seth had never heard Ryan hiss before, but he heard it for the first time when Ryan shuddered against him and bit his neck.
Seth’s hands gripped Ryan hard enough that he heard the sound of denim ripping, and he knocked his head against the wall when he came in his jeans seconds later.
He released Ryan almost instantly, and opened his eyes reluctantly when he felt Ryan slip away.
Ryan’s hair was a mess, and his mouth was wet and dark red. Seth swallowed dryly. He felt very sober.
“Uh, yeah” escaped his lips as he looked at Ryan, and then away, and then back at Ryan. The wetness in Seth’s jeans began to demand his attention, and he glanced down, and back at Ryan, helplessly.
“Ready to go home?” Ryan said.
Seth nodded wordlessly and pushed himself off the wall. He’d gone several feet before he realized Ryan wasn’t beside him.
When he looked back, Ryan was watching him, his amused expression evident under the streetlamp. “Wrong way, man.”
“I knew that.”
Ryan laughed. “Of course you did.”
He waited until Seth caught up with him, and then they began walking along together.
“Are you okay with this?” he asked softly when Seth’s hand brushed against his randomly. It took Seth several seconds to realize what he’d said.
“Okay. Okay? I am so okay; you have no idea. I am like the King of Okay.”
Ryan laughed, again. “Okay. Good.”
*
Seth ambled up Dwight alongside Ryan, slightly drunk, slightly giddy and more than a little horny. They’d parked the car only a few blocks over, but the walk back home seemed to take much longer than necessary. Probably because Seth kept purposely bumping into Ryan and laughing about nothing at all.
This was truly one of the best birthdays he had ever had, and he hoped the day wasn’t quite over yet. Not that he had a plan, because bad things happened when Seth made plans. People got shot for starters. But Ryan had made the plans today and there had been comics and concerts and *kissing*.
Seth was all about the kissing and the groping, and he was such a 13 year-old girl that what he really wanted to do was jump up and down, yelling that 'Ryan rilly rilly liked him.' After all, Ryan had kissed him. Ryan who was all into architecture and doing “the right thing” and being a good student had kissed *him*, and it had only taken three years. Plus, it was good.
Good like western breezes and maps of the world.
Seth stumbled over a treacherous crack in front of their apartment building and bit his lip when Ryan reached out to steady him. Ryan was touching him again, and life was good and they were almost in the apartment. Maybe Ryan would kiss him again. Maybe Ryan was going to kiss him *now*, he was certainly close enough.
“So this is where you’ve been.”
Seth blinked. Ryan’s mouth had been moving towards him, but his lips hadn’t actually *moved*. Seth was not that drunk anymore, and eventually he realized that Ryan was looking past him to the front door.
Ryan’s hand fell away from Seth’s shoulder as Seth turned around cautiously, making sure not to stumble over his own feet. He blinked again, hoping that he wasn’t really seeing what was there. Sometimes his imagination liked to fuck with him, but Jamie was still wearing that corduroy jacket when Seth opened his eyes again
He stood up from where he’d been sitting on the front steps, and approached them slowly. He held a small, yellow package in his left hand, which captured Seth’s attention quicker than anything else. Jamie had brought him a present.
Jamie.
Shit.
The warm, boozy feeling in Seth’s stomach evaporated as he felt Ryan step up next to him. He opened his mouth to speak, to stop the inevitable meeting that was about to happen, but his vocal chords seized up like he’d applied the breaks.
“Hey,” Ryan said by way of greeting.
Jamie glanced derisively at the hand Ryan extended. “Let me guess, you’re Ryan.”
Ryan looked from Jamie to Seth, his confusion evident. “Do I know you?”
Seth tried to speak, again, but nothing came out. He clicked his Pumas together, randomly, hoping they might take him back to Newport, but no luck.
“I’m Jamie, but you haven’t heard about me yet, have you?” Jamie’s tone was biting, and Seth shook his head desperately. He could explain; he was going to tell Ryan himself. He didn’t deserve to find out like this.
“It’s not what you think,” Seth interjected at last, but Jamie glared at him.
“I’ve heard your name,” Ryan offered, but Jamie seemed pretty hell-bent.
“I’m guessing though, that Seth didn’t tell you we’re dating.”
Ryan stared at Seth, and Jamie cocked his head curiously. “I think it’s kind of interesting, in a masochistic way, that I know all about you, but you don’t know anything about me.”
Jamie paused. “It‘s a fucking pain dating someone in the closet -- you know?”
-On to part VI
Notes: What’s college with out drama, you know?
*The Daily Californian is the Berkeley newspaper.
*Yes, Virginia there is an Isotope Comic Book Lounge in San Francisco. There is also a venue called Bottom of the Hill, which has this beer garden and one time... err, never mind. I contemplated using Slim’s instead, but I wanted to get all my venues a shout-out and Slim’s already had its time.
*Also, I love Matt Nathanson. He has a velcro Bon Jovi wallet, and is adorable. But married. Just saying. Also, he’s fifty times better live than anything you’ll get on CD.
*It has been brought to my attention that some people (anybody who’s never lived in the SF Area) might not know that Bill Graham was like the granddaddy of concert promotion. He’s also the man behind the great history of the Fillmore and The Warfield, but if you don’t know about the Fillmore and the 60s, you need more help than I can give you. Watch some VH1 Behind the Music.
*The song title is by Death Cab for Cutie.
*Dedicated with much love to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ethrosdemon and serialkarma.
*Author's note: I am offically in love with this story. Just had to share that.*
That night Seth dreamt that he gave Jamie a blowjob on the stage of Greek Theatre during a set by the Grateful Dead. Jerry Garcia was still alive, too, except he looked just like Rusty who really *was* Prince Harry.
When Seth finished, Jerry/Rusty/Harry announced to a packed amphitheater that he was failing Seth on his oral technique, which was insane since Rusty taught *Psychology*, not oral anything. Excluding that whole Freud thing.
Plus, Seth had watched enough porn to know that nobody looked dignified when they were giving head. But then Rusty expelled Seth from school for his lack of skills, and when Seth came home to pack, Ryan was waiting for him naked, wearing an AAA map of Seattle.
As far as dreams went, it wasn’t necessarily a bad one, but the obviousness freaked Seth out so badly that he couldn’t even jerk off when he woke up, which was unheard of.
Disgruntled, he slept fitfully for the rest of the night until the shrillness of the phone ringing woke him up permanently. Staggering out of bed, he wandered into the living room only to be assaulted by several half-inflated balloons and the smell of bacon.
It was too much, too early, and while attempting to push the balloons away, he slipped on his on skateboard, fell over the arm of the sofa and landed on the floor between the coffee table and the sofa. It hurt, but he probably deserved it for bailing on Ryan the night before.
On the upswing, he was now close to his table full of presents, and judging by the size of the box with her name on it, Seth felt pretty sure Summer had gone the boxers route again.
Not that he was complaining.
He glanced up when Ryan began clapping, the phone tucked against his neck and an amused expression on his face. He was fully dressed in jeans and a shirt that Seth’s mom had bought him last Christmas/ Hanukah/ whatever the hell they were celebrating that year.
He flipped Ryan the bird, figuring that was less obvious than kissing Ryan’s feet for not being bitter about his behavior last night. Ryan, in turn, smirked and went back to his conversation.
Seth unwrapped several attacking balloons from his legs, scrambled to his feet and clambered up on the sofa. When he sat on something hot, he jumped up cursing about karmic retribution, only to realize that he’d sat on breakfast. Or what he presumed was breakfast since it was hot and was wrapped in a McDonald’s bag.
“You’re supposed to eat that,” Ryan’s voice came from to his left, and Seth glanced up as Ryan set the phone on the end table.
“Thanks for that service announcement; I forgot that McDonald’s hadn’t been outlawed by the FDA yet.”
Ryan’s raised eyebrow said it all. “I had thought about cooking, but I wasn’t sure you were coming out your room today. I mean since you seemed so intent on being in there earlier this morning.”
Seth colored and his mouth opened and closed wordlessly. He finally settled on, ”Yeah, about that: sorry.”
Ryan waited, but when nothing else was forthcoming, he shook his head and sat down on the sofa. Seth considered his options and opted for defensiveness. He shot Ryan a dirty look and made a deliberate show of reaching into the paper bag and pulling out an EggMcMuffin sandwich.
Then he blinked.
“Aw, man. With cheese? And bacon? Yes, you are a god,” he said, unwrapping the sandwich enough to take a large bite. “I haven’t had one of these since we got here.”
“Because McDonalds is *so* far away.” Ryan reached out and took the bag away from Seth. “Why’s mine flat?” he asked, turning his sandwich over in his hands a few times.
Seth shrugged, before turning back to the coffee table and his cache of presents. Stuffing his sandwich in his mouth, he sat down and began sorting through the packages on the table. There were several from his mom and dad, one from Summer, and at least three from his grandpa, which he hoped Gabby had picked out. There were none from Ryan.
He turned when he felt the cushion next to him shift under Ryan’s weight. “Dude, where is it?”
Ryan was rustling around in the McDonald’s bag. He looked up after pulling out a large hash brown. “Where’s what?”
“My *present*,” Seth said as though Ryan were slow.
Ryan looked at Seth as though he were blind. “There are about fifteen of them on the table in front of you.”
“No, I mean the one from you.”
Ryan snorted and gestured towards the sandwich wrapper in Seth’s lap. “You’re eating it.”
Seth blinked. “Dude.”
Ryan took a large bite of his hash brown, and finished chewing before gesturing to the bag in his lap. “You want yours or what?”
Seth snatched at the bag, giving the contents a perfunctory glance to make sure there wasn’t a comic book hiding it or something. “Seriously, where is it?”
“Where’s what?”
“*Ryan*.”
Ryan’s lips twitched. “Your sense of entitlement is so Newport. What makes you think I bought you anything?”
“Seriously. Don’t mess around, what’d you get me?”
Ryan chuckled around another bite of hash brown. “I have a scholarship and work part-time, what makes you think I have money to buy you presents?”
The biscuit in Seth’s mouth tasted very dry as he glanced at the table of presents. His parents and grandfather had probably spent a few grand on whatever was in those boxes, and Ryan was slaving just to get by. The injustice made Seth’s stomach turn, but why did Ryan have to be so fucking hardheaded all the time?
Couldn’t he just accept that he was a part of the family? Probably not.
Seth turned back to Ryan to apologize and was cut off by the phone ringing, again. Ryan tossed the handset to him. “It’s probably for you anyway.”
“Yeah?” Seth answered the phone absently.
“I see your phone skills haven’t improved in the last seven hours,” Jamie said, and Seth flushed. He glanced everywhere, except at Ryan, and clambered to his feet.
“Hey,” Seth said softly, walking into the kitchen.
“How’s the birthday boy?”
“Good.”
“Just good?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Jamie was silent over the crackling of the cordless phone. “Maybe I can make that better?” he suggested.
“Does this involve lots of alcohol and illicit substances?” Seth perked up before he opened the refrigerator and was assaulted by the smell of something going rotten. There was so much mold on some of the stuff he couldn’t be sure what was what.
Jamie laughed. “Not quite, but it could involve nudity and birthday cake.”
Seth froze with his hand on something that might‘ve been a burrito in another life. “Huh.”
“Interested?”
Nodding his head, Seth leaned down and eyed several cans of Beast. He could have beer at nine in the morning on his birthday. It was his *birthday*. He was going to be legal next year anyway.
That was close enough.
“I have plans for you, Mr. Cohen.” Jamie’s voice was seductive even through the static, and Seth paused mid-reach. Trying to concentrate on what might bite him in the fridge was very difficult when Jamie sounded like he worked as a phone sex operator. Not that Seth knew what male phone sex operators sounded like or anything.
Right.
“Huh.” he repeated eloquently.
“Is that all you can say?”
Seth’s mind whizzed around trying to find the most innocuous, yet flirtatious comment possible. One pretty much negated the other, but Ryan probably wouldn’t let it go again, if Seth locked himself in the bathroom with the phone, either.
Whatever Jamie said next, though, was lost on Seth when two pieces of paper obscured his vision of the contents of the fridge, and his train of thought got derailed.
He blinked when he realized Ryan was standing right next to him, and straightened back up. “Hold on,” he said into the phone, cradling it between his neck and shoulder, before taking the papers that Ryan was offering.
He dropped the phone when he read the print on the purple and white tickets.
“Dude,” he said in a hoarse whisper.
Ryan grinned.
“*Dude*,” Seth repeated.
Blindly, he bent down and scrabbled for the phone. “I’ll call you back,” he said, hanging up without waiting for an answer.
He looked at Ryan from where he was squatting on the grimy linoleum, clutching the tickets in his hand like they were invitations to visit Tony Hawk. “We’re going to the Bottom of the Hill to see Matt Nathanson?”
Ryan shrugged. “Unless you’ve got better plans?”
Seth felt as though his face were going to split in half with glee. He stood back up, and waved the tickets in Ryan’s face. “We’re going to go see Matt Nathanson.”
“I know, I bought the tickets,” Ryan reminded him.
“Dude.”
“You said that already. Three times.”
Seth stared at the tickets in his hand for several seconds before looking back at Ryan. “Okay, would it be wrong if I hugged you now?”
“Because I’m taking you to the Bottom of the Hill?”
“Because I wanted to go to this gig badly enough to sell body parts; I told you that, but the tickets sold out in like five minutes,” Seth explained, hugging Ryan briefly. When he let go, Ryan didn’t move away immediately.
“That’s why you should always be nice to Erika in 2B,” he said, winking at Seth conspiratorially.
Seth thought for several seconds. “I thought she worked at the Paradise Lounge.”
“She got a new job.”
Seth grinned. “God bless, new employment.”
Ryan nodded his head. “Speaking of which, you need to get dressed so we can go.”
“Go where?”
“To get Max’s car.”
The blank look on Seth’s face said it all.
“Max who I work with? Asian guy with the eyebrow piercing?”
“Oh, right. He has a car? Wait, why are we using his car?”
“Because there are other things we’re doing first.”
Seth didn’t have to fake the confused expression. “Like what?”
“Like *stuff*.”
“Today?”
“Unless your birthday’s changed to another day.”
“Don’t you have classes today?”
“Yes, so do you.”
Seth’s mind whirred and sparked, in danger of catching on fire at any moment. “Wait. Is Ryan Atwood, Dean’s List scholar and all-around overachieving Architecture major, suggesting we skip classes today?”
Ryan stared at him. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to skip class.”
“What? No. I just, dude, *you* are skipping a class. This is, like, unheard of. Do you want me to call The Daily Californian and take out an ad? Should I take you over to Tang so you can see a doctor?”
Ryan snorted and pushed Seth out of the kitchen. “Go change, smart ass. We have things to do.”
The Bottom of the Hill had earned its name with good reason. It wasn’t a complete dive, but it wasn’t Radio City Music Hall either. The lighting was minimal and the scent of stale beer never quite left the air. The bar had cheap plastic seats in the back garden for drunken contemplation, and it was always full of people who wanted to be there.
The stage was the size of a compact car, however, and the noise level was out of control no matter where Seth tried to stand to wait for Ryan to return from the bar.
Eventually he was forced to wait next to the women’s bathroom and hope nobody slapped him for being a pervert. It might’ve been more fitting if he’d been waiting around the men’s bathroom any way, but his name wasn’t George Michael and the facilities were nasty. At least from where he stood, Seth could watch the roadies set up for Matt Nathanson’s set. Not that there was anything to set up beside the speakers, but whatever. Seth was feeling too good to be all contemplative anyway.
Today had pretty much been like the best day *ever*, second only to his first date with Summer and the day that Ryan’s guardianship papers had been finalized.
He’d pretty much had a spontaneous orgasm when they’d gone to pick up Max’s car, and Seth had discovered it was a 67 Shelby GT Mustang in prime condition.
The day had only gone up from there, like some sort of birthday Viagra.
They’d road tripped all over the East Bay before heading into the city in the afternoon. Ryan had taken Seth to Isotope Comic Book Lounge in the Sunset District, which Seth had heard about in mythical terms on par with Camelot and reaching the end of Pro Skater 5 without eating pavement. Ryan had had to physically drag Seth out of Isotope to get back to the Mission for dinner before the concert.
They’d wound up eating at a random burrito place that Ryan had said someone recommended, but for the first time in possibly forever, Seth hadn’t been that interested in food. He could have eaten cardboard for all he cared; it was enough just to spend the day with Ryan like they did back in Newport.
Seth never thought he would get nostalgic for high school, but spending the day with Ryan had reminded him so much of how things used to be that he couldn’t quite help himself. Plus, he couldn’t remember ever having a birthday like this one, and he briefly contemplated hara-kiri knowing that next year was never going to measure up.
Dismissing the idea as too messy, he rocked back and forth for several seconds in his sneakers only to stop when some girl leaving the bathroom gave him a weird look. He stuck his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall instead. When that had wasted all of thirty seconds, he turned back to the bar, wondering how long Ryan was going to be.
Something unpleasant twisted in his stomach when he caught sight of Ryan deep in conversation with a red-head girl. The discomfort abated slightly when Ryan pointed to him and beckoned him over.
Seth made his way through the crowd as quickly as he could, which really wasn’t saying much of anything. He’d seen snails make faster progress.
He apologized to some girl for something he wasn’t sure he’d done and then elbowed himself a place at the bar on Ryan’s left. They were pressed so close together, Seth could feel the belt loops from Ryan’s jeans pressing into his side.
“I’ve seen sardine cans with more room,” he muttered into Ryan’s shoulder, but whatever Ryan said back, Seth missed. He was distracted by the flaming shot glass which had suddenly appeared in front of him.
“Dude, what the hell is that?” he asked, looking from Ryan to the red-headed girl who was grinning at him. She had a nose ring, and her eyes were ringed in kohl liner.
“Happy Birthday, babe,” the girl said as she proceed to pull her hair into bun and secure it with a pencil she produced from nowhere.
Seth gaped.
“Erika?” he said, peering at the flaming red-hair on somebody who had been blonde the last time he’d seen her. “Your hair: it’s red.”
“You were expecting Nicole Kidman or a Weasley?” Erika retorted, as she clanked around behind the bar handing off bottles left and right. Ryan snorted beside Seth, and Seth glanced down at the flaming shot. It was really on fire.
“No! *No*, it looks good, just, you know, red. Not what it was the last time I saw you.”
“Whatever. You can kiss my ass later, Curly. Drink your shot, now, it’s burning off.”
Seth glanced down at the tiny shot glass, which was indeed burning blue. He glanced up at Ryan who nodded and then back at the glass. He stumbled slightly when somebody shifted behind him, pushing him directly into Ryan.
Seth put a hand on the sticky bar to support himself at the same time that Ryan reached out to steady him. Seth swallowed dryly when he realized Ryan’s hand was resting in the small of his back. Without moving.
Seth grabbed the shot, hesitated briefly, and then tossed it back.
Ryan grinned as Seth coughed up a lung. “Good?”
Seth just nodded, rubbing his chest absently to chase the burning sensation away.
Behind the bar, Erika emptied the contents of a martini shaker into two other shot glasses and pulled out a Zippo. “Have another one,” she said, lighting the first one and pushing it towards Seth.
“And one for your boyfriend,” she added with a wink as she pushed the other glass towards Ryan.
Seth was too busy downing his shot to respond, but he noticed that Ryan didn’t correct her. He also noticed that Ryan’s hand was very warm through his shirt.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and leaned into Ryan a little bit as he made small talk with Erika. Seth couldn’t hear much of the conversation, since the guy on his right was louder than Marv Albert. Erika laughed about something Ryan said though, and then she uncapped two Heinekens and set them on the bar.
She waved the money away when Ryan tried to pay her.
“It’s his birthday,” Erika said, grinning at Seth with impossibly white teeth. “And I know what it’s like to work your ass off so you spend on your money on your boyfriend. Or girlfriend, as the case may be,” she said as another bartender came up behind her and pulled the pencil out of her hair.
This blonde, Seth recognized immediately. “Hey, Tara,” he said with a nod.
“I hear it’s your birthday.” Tara slipped the pencil behind her ear as she rearranged Erika’s hair in another style. “Happy Birthday.”
“What you’d give them?” she said to Erika.
“Flaming Assholes.”
Both Ryan and Seth coughed loudly.
“Guys seem to like those,” Erika deadpanned.
When Tara was satisfied, she pulled the pencil out from behind her ear and handed it back to Erika. “Don’t stick that in your hair anymore,” she hollered over the din around the bar. “It yanks out the hair,” she added before poking Erika in the shoulder.
Nodding at Seth and Ryan, she wished Seth a happy birthday again, kissed Erika on the cheek and walked off.
Seth gaped again. “That’s your girlfriend?”
Erika raised a very dark eyebrow. “Yeah, pretty hot isn’t she?”
Ryan interrupted before Seth could get himself in trouble. “You’re sure you don’t want us to pay for these?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Erika dismissed them with a wave of her hand before turning to another customer. “Have a good time, enjoy the concert, get drunk and then get home and have loud sex: that’s what birthdays are for. Besides, we’re working late, so it won’t bother us.”
Rather than die of shock, Seth picked up his beer and took a large swig. Ryan’s hand hadn’t moved from his back in like ten minutes, and it was causing the wrong things to run through Seth’s mind, like seeing Ryan naked and blowing him on stage at the Greek Theatre. Except that wasn’t how the dream had gone, but Seth’s body wasn’t interesting in specifics.
He thought briefly of Jamie, but was distracted by the sound check occurring on stage.
He leaned in to tell Ryan something and started slightly when his lips brushed against Ryan’s ear. In response, Ryan’s hand pressed against his back slightly, as though keeping him from running away.
They were a lot closer than Seth had thought. No wonder his body was getting so excited.
“Huh?” he responded when Ryan looked at him expectantly.
“I said did you want to go someplace else?”
Seth blinked. There was absolutely no way Ryan was hitting on him. Not after three years. Except the hand on his back was rubbing in soothing circles, and Little Seth was getting really interested in the proceedings. Like way too interested. And yet, Seth didn’t move away.
“You mean closer to the stage?” Seth asked.
“Whatever you want,” Ryan said.
Seth bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood. “This is good. I mean here is good. Yeah, here. Good. We are good.”
Ryan’s eyebrows climbed upwards faster than Seth talked. Finally, to stem the flow of babbling, Seth took another swallow of beer and turned as much as possible towards the stage without dislodging Ryan’s hand. He prayed to Bill Graham and the gods of concerts everywhere that tonight’s gig would start on time, for once in his concert-going life.
He was shocked when people began clapping and Matt Nathanson ambled on to the stage.
“Thank you, Bill Graham,” he declared.
“Who?” Ryan asked from behind him.
Seth turned back to Ryan and almost dropped his beer as Ryan gazed at him expectantly from beneath his eyelashes. “Nobody.”
Ryan’s look of disbelief said it all.
“It’s not important,” Seth corrected.
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
The temperature in San Francisco was always at least five degrees colder than anywhere in the East Bay, but Seth was too full of alcohol to notice.
He sang under his breath happily as Ryan attempted to guide him down 17th Street to where the car was parked. Ryan’s hand was wrapped comfortably around Seth’s bicep as he attempted to steer him in the right direction, but Seth kept jumping on and off the curb and finally he dislodged himself long enough to spin around a parking meter three times before he had to stop for fear of puking.
He sat down in the gutter, under a streetlamp, and looked at all the trash underneath his sneakers.
“Seth, c’mon let me get you home,” Ryan said, crouching down so they were eye to eye.
Seth winked lasciviously. “I know you want to get me home, but relax, we live together.”
Ryan stared.
Seth carried on. “I‘m cool, you‘re cool, chill out, dude. You’re always so tense these days; I remember when you used to want to have fun. What happened to you, Ry, you don’t even want to party with me anymore? I’m persona non grata, right? You used to like me, man. We used to do stuff together. What happened?”
Ryan stood up, and Seth had to crane his neck to look at him. “We just spent the whole day together.”
“Yeah, but don’t you remember how it used to be? We used to go to the pier and hang out. We were amigos, we were like Ren and Stimpy or Dre and Snoop. We used to *do* stuff. We don’t do that anymore.”
The whole thing suddenly seemed very sad to Seth. He hiccupped.
Ryan sighed. Under the fluorescent streetlamp, he looked tired. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
Seth got to his feet, and put a hand on the parking meter to steady himself. “This is college; I want you to have a good time. Shit, Ryan, all you do is study and work.”
“Some of us –“
“I know you don’t want to take stuff from my family, but they’re your family, too, man. Don’t you know that yet? Plus, nobody is ever going to spend all that money, and if you don’t use it, it’ll just go to waste. I’ll be forced to buy every comic book ever made, and I am really not into Archie or Pokemon, so help me out. Don’t player hate.
“I miss this,” Seth said gesturing between he and Ryan several times.
Seth was still mid-thought when the world suddenly moved very fast, and he hit his back on a brick wall. It should have hurt like a bitch, but apparently all the Flaming Assholes had made him numb.
There was a big joke there.
Seth never tended to notice how much shorter Ryan was until they were close together. Like right now, when Ryan had him pressed against a solid wall.
“Okay,” he began, not quite sure where he was going with whatever he was going to say.
Ryan’s body covered his, and Seth squirmed slightly when he realized that Ryan’s thigh was pressed between his legs. The sensation was slightly more mind-altering than dropping tabs before watching cartoons, and Seth wriggled against the friction, which made his cock harden way too fast for his drunk brain. He grunted when Ryan’s right hand gripped his hip tightly.
“Oh-kay,” Seth began again, as Ryan reached up and tilted his chin down.
“Is this… Are you… Dude,” he breathed as Ryan closed his eyes and leaned forward. Whatever Seth had planned to ask was swallowed up by the kiss; and when Ryan’s mouth closed over Seth like a net, he let it happen.
Getting caught was not a bad thing.
Seth’s eyes fluttered shut as he moaned his agreement, and when Ryan pulled back, sucking on Seth’s lower lip, Seth’s knees began to wobble. He opened his eyes in a daze, mildly surprised to see Ryan watching him cautiously. He closed his eyes again, and seconds later Ryan launched a second attack, diving back in with teeth and tongue. The assault sent Seth’s mind on a trip like Alice in Wonderland.
Ryan’s kisses were hot and harsh, and he nuzzled the column of Seth’s neck, leaving little red suck marks in his wake. Seth wriggled happily, trying to give Ryan whatever he wanted as every nerve in his body screamed “fucking finally.”
For several minutes, he let Ryan be the aggressor, shifting where Ryan’s hand guided him and turning his head to give Ryan more exposure to wherever he wanted to be. Seth let Ryan’s tongue brush through his mouth, and he gripped the crumbling wall with short nails until it all got to be too much. When Ryan murmured his name against his collarbone, Seth’s tiny wisp of self-control vanished.
Wrapping his arms around Ryan’s waist, Seth’s hands slipped down until he was gripping Ryan’s ass with both hands. Using his legs and his hips, Seth urged Ryan to thrust against him as hard as possible.
He blindly kissed his way along Ryan’s jaw until he met parted lips, and he swallowed Ryan’s moans as he ground his leg against Ryan’s obvious erection.
“Fuck,” Ryan gasped against Seth’s neck as he attempted to keep up with the frenetic pace.
A hand which he’d hooked around Seth’s neck slid into Seth’s hair, and he pulled sharply as Seth nipped at his bottom lip.
The wall was rubbing Seth's spine raw, even through his shirt, but he couldn’t be bothered to notice. “Wanted you,” he groaned as Ryan’s thigh continually rubbed against his cock.
Seth had never heard Ryan hiss before, but he heard it for the first time when Ryan shuddered against him and bit his neck.
Seth’s hands gripped Ryan hard enough that he heard the sound of denim ripping, and he knocked his head against the wall when he came in his jeans seconds later.
He released Ryan almost instantly, and opened his eyes reluctantly when he felt Ryan slip away.
Ryan’s hair was a mess, and his mouth was wet and dark red. Seth swallowed dryly. He felt very sober.
“Uh, yeah” escaped his lips as he looked at Ryan, and then away, and then back at Ryan. The wetness in Seth’s jeans began to demand his attention, and he glanced down, and back at Ryan, helplessly.
“Ready to go home?” Ryan said.
Seth nodded wordlessly and pushed himself off the wall. He’d gone several feet before he realized Ryan wasn’t beside him.
When he looked back, Ryan was watching him, his amused expression evident under the streetlamp. “Wrong way, man.”
“I knew that.”
Ryan laughed. “Of course you did.”
He waited until Seth caught up with him, and then they began walking along together.
“Are you okay with this?” he asked softly when Seth’s hand brushed against his randomly. It took Seth several seconds to realize what he’d said.
“Okay. Okay? I am so okay; you have no idea. I am like the King of Okay.”
Ryan laughed, again. “Okay. Good.”
Seth ambled up Dwight alongside Ryan, slightly drunk, slightly giddy and more than a little horny. They’d parked the car only a few blocks over, but the walk back home seemed to take much longer than necessary. Probably because Seth kept purposely bumping into Ryan and laughing about nothing at all.
This was truly one of the best birthdays he had ever had, and he hoped the day wasn’t quite over yet. Not that he had a plan, because bad things happened when Seth made plans. People got shot for starters. But Ryan had made the plans today and there had been comics and concerts and *kissing*.
Seth was all about the kissing and the groping, and he was such a 13 year-old girl that what he really wanted to do was jump up and down, yelling that 'Ryan rilly rilly liked him.' After all, Ryan had kissed him. Ryan who was all into architecture and doing “the right thing” and being a good student had kissed *him*, and it had only taken three years. Plus, it was good.
Good like western breezes and maps of the world.
Seth stumbled over a treacherous crack in front of their apartment building and bit his lip when Ryan reached out to steady him. Ryan was touching him again, and life was good and they were almost in the apartment. Maybe Ryan would kiss him again. Maybe Ryan was going to kiss him *now*, he was certainly close enough.
“So this is where you’ve been.”
Seth blinked. Ryan’s mouth had been moving towards him, but his lips hadn’t actually *moved*. Seth was not that drunk anymore, and eventually he realized that Ryan was looking past him to the front door.
Ryan’s hand fell away from Seth’s shoulder as Seth turned around cautiously, making sure not to stumble over his own feet. He blinked again, hoping that he wasn’t really seeing what was there. Sometimes his imagination liked to fuck with him, but Jamie was still wearing that corduroy jacket when Seth opened his eyes again
He stood up from where he’d been sitting on the front steps, and approached them slowly. He held a small, yellow package in his left hand, which captured Seth’s attention quicker than anything else. Jamie had brought him a present.
Jamie.
Shit.
The warm, boozy feeling in Seth’s stomach evaporated as he felt Ryan step up next to him. He opened his mouth to speak, to stop the inevitable meeting that was about to happen, but his vocal chords seized up like he’d applied the breaks.
“Hey,” Ryan said by way of greeting.
Jamie glanced derisively at the hand Ryan extended. “Let me guess, you’re Ryan.”
Ryan looked from Jamie to Seth, his confusion evident. “Do I know you?”
Seth tried to speak, again, but nothing came out. He clicked his Pumas together, randomly, hoping they might take him back to Newport, but no luck.
“I’m Jamie, but you haven’t heard about me yet, have you?” Jamie’s tone was biting, and Seth shook his head desperately. He could explain; he was going to tell Ryan himself. He didn’t deserve to find out like this.
“It’s not what you think,” Seth interjected at last, but Jamie glared at him.
“I’ve heard your name,” Ryan offered, but Jamie seemed pretty hell-bent.
“I’m guessing though, that Seth didn’t tell you we’re dating.”
Ryan stared at Seth, and Jamie cocked his head curiously. “I think it’s kind of interesting, in a masochistic way, that I know all about you, but you don’t know anything about me.”
Jamie paused. “It‘s a fucking pain dating someone in the closet -- you know?”
-On to part VI
Notes: What’s college with out drama, you know?
*The Daily Californian is the Berkeley newspaper.
*Yes, Virginia there is an Isotope Comic Book Lounge in San Francisco. There is also a venue called Bottom of the Hill, which has this beer garden and one time... err, never mind. I contemplated using Slim’s instead, but I wanted to get all my venues a shout-out and Slim’s already had its time.
*Also, I love Matt Nathanson. He has a velcro Bon Jovi wallet, and is adorable. But married. Just saying. Also, he’s fifty times better live than anything you’ll get on CD.
*It has been brought to my attention that some people (anybody who’s never lived in the SF Area) might not know that Bill Graham was like the granddaddy of concert promotion. He’s also the man behind the great history of the Fillmore and The Warfield, but if you don’t know about the Fillmore and the 60s, you need more help than I can give you. Watch some VH1 Behind the Music.
*The song title is by Death Cab for Cutie.
*Dedicated with much love to
ethrosdemon and serialkarma.*Author's note: I am offically in love with this story. Just had to share that.*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2003-10-17 09:23 am (UTC)::reads::
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Date: 2003-10-17 12:49 pm (UTC)Since it was like an unexpected little present today, now I'll be good and wait patiently for the next part.
moremoremoremoremore NOW(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-17 09:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-21 10:39 am (UTC)Just one more week, thank god. I feel like I've been wandering in the desert without water for ages with all this waiting.
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Date: 2003-10-17 09:44 am (UTC)And now for the drama and angst! *gets popcorn*
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:39 am (UTC)And now for the drama and angst! *gets popcorn*
Exactly, what good is drama and angst with popcorn and Coke? *nods head approvingly*
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Date: 2003-10-17 09:46 am (UTC)So. Cute. I am so in love with the way you write. But then the end! ouchouchouchouch. Poor Jamie. I too love this story, and I will be chicking back obsessively for the next installment. Yes, I am a junkie.
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:40 am (UTC)Thank you for your kind words, also, part six is up today. Just as an FYI.
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Date: 2003-10-17 09:46 am (UTC)dude. not knowing the canon characters, i'm as invested in jamie as in ryan and... oh man. this story is fantastic.
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:41 am (UTC)Yes! Exactly what I like to hear. *pets Jamie happily*
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Date: 2003-10-17 09:54 am (UTC)And I love you for it. ;)
Although really, you're killing me here...gah! It's SO good, and yet...it's not all done (of course I don't ever want it to be done, but it's not done and...gah! *giggles*) Yes, I've been reduced to incoherant babbling. But it's all good. Really, really good. *grins*
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:42 am (UTC)Somehow I don't think this would go over as a plausible excuse come exam time. Might I suggest you study a bit, in between the slashy stuff?
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From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-17 09:56 am (UTC)*Author's note: I am offically in love with this story. Just had to share that.*
I am officially in love with you, this story, and everything in between. I can't even tell you how much this rocks.
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:43 am (UTC)*Author's note: I am offically in love with this story. Just had to share that.*
I am officially in love with you, this story, and everything in between. I can't even tell you how much this rocks.
I'm just an evil bitch, Kassie's the evil, evil bitch. *winks*
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Date: 2003-10-17 09:57 am (UTC)Have I mentioned that I, too, love this story? 'Cause I do. Muchly.
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:44 am (UTC)Ooooh, this is heroin? Dude, I should have some fat pockets at this rate then, so where's all my money for dealing? Oh that's right, it doesn't count if I keep using up my profits does it? Nuts.
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Date: 2003-10-17 09:59 am (UTC)*Author's note: I am offically in love with this story. Just had to share that.*
Readers Note: Me too.
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Date: 2003-10-17 10:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-21 10:45 am (UTC)*laughs* There's nothing like having something else on your mind to make a meeting feel fifty times longer than usual.
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From:Conflicted.
Date: 2003-10-17 10:13 am (UTC)Re: Conflicted.
Date: 2003-10-21 10:46 am (UTC)Yes! *cackles evilly* Drama! Angst! Feel the conflict!
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Date: 2003-10-17 10:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-21 10:47 am (UTC)That's what I want, I want people rooting for Jamie. Don't fake, you know you can see the Jamie/Seth love.
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Date: 2003-10-17 10:30 am (UTC)<3
You will be the end of me.
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-17 10:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-21 10:48 am (UTC)I tend to be pretty picky about long stuff too, since I have a notorious short attention span. This is the first thing I've ever written that was longer than 25 pages.
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Date: 2003-10-17 10:50 am (UTC)... Lots of massively good stuff ...
“Wanted you,” he groaned as Ryan’s thigh continually rubbed
Very nice.
You know how weekends usually go by entirely too fast. Well, waiting for you to post the next part is going to make this one of the slowest. weekends. ever. And not in a good way. ;-)
P.
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Date: 2003-10-17 10:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-17 10:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-17 11:07 am (UTC)My ex and I went to the Bottom of the Hill on our third date to see Tiger Army and the Amazing Royal Crowns. We made out on the back patio. Damn.
I haven't even finished the fic yet and I had to comment on that.
My God, you must find my feedback incredibly irritating. *grin*
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:49 am (UTC)Everybody has their Bottom of the Hill stories. I used to have friends perform there, and we would sit out in the backgarden getting hella drunk under the fairy lights.
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Date: 2003-10-17 11:08 am (UTC)You're brilliant, you're fabulous, you made me call in sick to work (*scoffs* Well, I have been ill this week...what's another day?) I love this story, PLEASE keep updating in that wonderful way that you have so far.
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:50 am (UTC)So, I'm thinking you're enjoying the story. This is good. Incoherancy and babbling work well for me.
I hope you're feeling better.
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Date: 2003-10-17 11:11 am (UTC)I finally caught up with it yesterday, and.
OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS!!!
I didn't think it was possible to top Rex and his superfly magic brownies, but you've totally, so completely made me swoon over these boys. I adore Jamie, like, way mad adoration for him, and I about died when you said MATT NATHANSON (he is AMAZING!!!) and gah, my brain is broken because this was so fucking good. I've reread all the pieces now three times, and I simply cannot wait for more. you are incredible and this is TERRIFIC.
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:52 am (UTC)*dies laughing*
Oh, god, you know I have to stick this line in a story at a later date. Now I keep thinking of Rex like one of those pimps in 'I'm Gonna Get You Sucka.'
I adore Jamie, like, way mad adoration for him, and I about died when you said MATT NATHANSON (he is AMAZING!!!) and gah, my brain is broken because this was so fucking good. I've reread all the pieces now three times, and I simply cannot wait for more. you are incredible and this is TERRIFIC.
Words cannot begin to explain how happy I am that you're enjoying the story, sweetie. I hadn't heard from you before and I figured it probably wasn't your thing, but yay!
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Date: 2003-10-17 11:13 am (UTC)You hooked Seth and Ryan up! Whee! Ryan is so obviously a goner over Seth--the birthday party, the wonderful day he had planned, the concert, the way he couldn't hold back anymore--he is precious and needs to be loved, as often and as creatively as possible. Amen.
Jamie--OW! His first real hurty experience with The Obliviousness That Is Seth. Thing is, I can tell that he gets Seth, probably got him before they ever spoke for the first time, and part of him has probably known all along that Seth is in love with Ryan. It's still hurts like a bitch, though. Ironic that it's Jamie's pursuit of Seth that probably made Seth more comfortable and able to handle Ryan's advances. Poor Jamie, he's going to have to find himself another adorable geek. The one he's dating now was taken long before he ever moved to Berkeley.
Ryan’s raised eyebrow said it all.
It does, doesn't it? It's a good thing Ben M.'s face is so expressive, otherwise we'd rarely know what Ryan is thinking/feeling on the show.
Fantastic Ryan, by the way, which is not easy to do. Loyal, laconic Ryan, always trying to do the right thing, on all fronts, because he has so much firsthand experience with people who have done the wrong thing, including himself. *Loves*
Ryan’s lips twitched. “Your sense of entitlement is so Newport..."
Yes! Seth is such a rich boy. Even if he wasn't popular, he behaves very much like someone who has never had to worry about where his next anything is coming from. He sees Ryan's attempts to support himself and work hard at excelling in school, but he doesn't really get it. No matter what, Seth has a gigantic safety net, and he's never known what it's like not to have one.
I love the way Seth gets himself all worked up over the idea that next year's birthday won't be as good as this one, rather than living in the moment and savoring this one while it's happening. Perfect characterization.
I also love how Seth is our protagonist, the one who links all of the parts of the story together, but you've made him real and flawed and not altogether sympathetic. Obilvious, ambivalent, sometimes selfish and callous, and yet he's still the Seth we all know and love. Excellent work.
Okay, I'm writing a novel here. I'll stop. *Backs away from the keyboard slowly*
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Date: 2003-10-21 11:03 am (UTC)As for Jamie, well, he's a big boy and I suspect that's part of what attracts Seth to him. Despite having lived with Ryan for three years, Seth can't always read him and it's not as though Ryan ever seems to actual say what he wants. Jamie though, Jamie's pretty upfront and direct.
I also love how Seth is our protagonist, the one who links all of the parts of the story together, but you've made him real and flawed and not altogether sympathetic. Obilvious, ambivalent, sometimes selfish and callous, and yet he's still the Seth we all know and love. Excellent work.
Ah yes, the wonder that is Seth. As much as I adore him, he's human like everybody else and has major faults (just a little spoiled you think?). In my eyes, that makes me adore him even more.
Again, thank you for all your kind words!
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Date: 2003-10-17 11:34 am (UTC)Look! Look at all the comments! Go you!
*sing-song voice* I know what comes neeext, I know what comes neeext! hee.
I would make the worst spy *ever*. I'd be all, "I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know!" and then I'd get disappeared and have painful things done to my fingernails or something.
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Date: 2003-10-17 01:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2003-10-17 11:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-21 10:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-17 11:51 am (UTC)Oy. You're going to kill me with this...
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Also: this is why drinking is *bad*.
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Date: 2003-10-21 10:57 am (UTC)Drinking is always bad. Except for when it's good. Which is like all the time. Drinking comes with its own Catch-22.