[personal profile] hackthis_archive
[livejournal.com profile] kattiya’s has been asking for ages...
[livejournal.com profile] ethrosdemon insisted it was only a matter of time...
[livejournal.com profile] obsessedmuch started yammering about fuzzy hats…
and I ended up strong-arming [livejournal.com profile] shanalle for an icon to use.

It’s been a while so the wheels are pretty fucking rusted, but whatever.


LOTRips
Achromatic




Billy’s life is a story recounted over and over again for the benefit of the press; although perhaps it’s not for their benefit as much as it’s to fill the word count for their copy editors and millions of readers that Billy will never meet.

Billy’s existence is jotted down and printed up as an inspiring story about a boy who overcomes unfortunate losses and humble beginnings to make the most of all the wonders of life. It’s a rather tragic story. It’s a rather overplayed story. It doesn’t leave room for exposition or exception.

The story of Billy’s life doesn’t tend to leave a lot of room for anything, full stop, which is probably why he hasn’t bothered to pay much attention to it.

Far be it from him to obsess over the fate of a figment of various reporters’ imaginations.

He’s adopted the rather generic actor's motto of: “All press is good press. All press is bad press. Don’t read your own press.”

He can’t remember where the motto comes from, but it seems rather valid at this point in his life, and he suspects that if he ever actually listened to the naysayers and the gossipmongers he would never leave the house. At the very least he would never have left Glasgow. He certainly would’ve never tried his hand at acting or writing or breathing for that matter.

He never would have met Dom.

He never would’ve done anything at all.

Fortunately for him, however, the only story he’s ever believed is the one he tells himself every day about how he can do whatever he wants.

He thinks that’s the only story that counts.


Black

Billy’s reality is bills and interviews and long messages on his mobile from his agent. Reality is frigid Glaswegian winters and long flights around the world to promote a movie that may be all Billy’s remembered for someday.

It’s a stark, bitter possibility.

It’s certainly not pretty or hope-inspiring, which is why Billy tells himself that this won’t be the case. But sometimes he’s not so sure. Sometimes Billy *knows* he’ll only be remembered as Pippin Took.

He tries to assure himself that it could be a far sight worse than being known as ‘that bloke that was in that really fucking cracking film that one time.’

In a life full of neutral colors and bit parts, at least his name will be in the black and white.


White

“What’s black, white and read all over?” Dominic yawns against Billy’s neck even as he’s poking Billy in the side with his entirely too bony elbow. Sleeping in first class is no easier than sleeping in economy, and across the aisle Elijah makes snorting noises and someone’s knee pops.

Billy shifts to get away but is held fast by Dom’s iron-fast grip on his shirt. If Billy were Dom’s favorite stuffed bear this might be a bit more appropriate, but as he’s not, Billy would still like to be able to breathe in the morning.

He attempts to unfurl the jagged fingernails clutching at his shirt, but gives up when Dom yawns again and holds fast.

“I dunno,” Billy says. “What?”

When Dom doesn’t answer after several minutes, Billy shakes him slightly to get his attention.

Now he’s curious. He wants to know.

Dom only cracks one eye open. “Eh?”

“What’s the answer?”

Dom opens the other eye. “What’re you on about?”

“You’re hopeless, you are,” Billy sighs.

“Of course I am, haven’t you read the papers? I’m madder than the fucking hatter.”

Billy smirks. “Heard it, Dom? I’m the one that started it.”


Gray

Dom has a vividly orange fuzzy hat that barely covers his head and leaves lint everywhere. He wears the hat every time he comes to visit Billy in Scotland, and the colour hurts Billy’s eyes to the point of distraction.

Every time Billy sees the atrocious hat he visibly winces and makes a concerted effort to look away. Dom sees this as incentive to wear the hat even more, and eventually he turns up with an equally appalling bright red scarf.

Against the gray Glasgow skyline, Dominic is bright like a peacock, and he stands out like a sore thumb or an image against a blue screen. Dominic is loud and vivacious, and Billy’s feelings for him don’t always stay in the clearly delineated boxes for best mate and co-worker.

Sometimes Dominic bleeds into other parts of Billy’s life, and Billy thinks that this might not be right. But when he tries to imagine life before Dom came along, all he can recall is a colourless void.


In Between

There are a million little gradations between black and white that a lot of people don’t take the time to see, and at the end of the day Billy can only be himself: actor, brother, grandson, best mate, whomever he really is.

He tells himself that it doesn’t matter what other people want him to be as long as he’s true to himself. He reminds himself that things aren’t ever as simple as people want them to be, and that even if he tried, he could never make everyone happy.

He’s never going to be exactly who people expect him to be, but he’s happy living his gray life in his gray city with the occasional splashes of bright colour, and that’s what’s important.

He’s happy being who he is.

His life is not just black and white. He is not just black and white. And he thinks that real stories, the ones worth knowing and reading about in life, are the ones that lie in that unexplored gray area in between.


-end-

Beta (10:20 am) and Improv (shake, bitter, iron, fate, obsess, fingernail) provided by [livejournal.com profile] serialkarma. Remaining snafus are mine.

Date: 2004-01-09 10:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lazy-daze.livejournal.com
This is great - I love Billy, and he sometimes seems to be overshadowed by Dom, who's so larger than life. but Billy is sweet and lovely and yeah, I loved this little potrait into his life kinda thing *rambles*
Also, I love you because aqualung = best ever <33

Date: 2004-01-09 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'd heard of Aqualung ages ago, and didn't think much about it for one reason or another, and then for some reason they were brought to my attention earlier this week and I was like $^&$&#$%@% [translation] Oh, dear, they're quite good, aren't they?

Date: 2004-01-09 10:32 am (UTC)
ext_230: a tiny green frog on a very red leaf (left wanting more)
From: [identity profile] anatsuno.livejournal.com
hackthis!lotrips woohoo! finally again. *happy*

I loved this, I love it when you write Billy. You always twist something fascinating with him-- though that could be said of everything you write (and it is), I find it even more true about your Billy-fic.

Date: 2004-01-09 12:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I loved this, I love it when you write Billy. You always twist something fascinating with him-- though that could be said of everything you write (and it is), I find it even more true about your Billy-fic.

I love how everybody seemed to know I was going to write Billy again, except for me. Yes, quite interesting that. I'm so glad you enjoyed it though, it means a lot to know you enjoy my characterization.

Date: 2004-01-09 10:43 am (UTC)
ext_9141: (love)
From: [identity profile] suaine.livejournal.com
*chants* I'm not goinbg to enjoy LOTRips, I'm not going to enjoy LOTRips, I'm not going to-

Oh hell, fuck it. I AM enjoying it, this one at least. It's a testament to how much I trust you as a writer that I even read it, because RPF is one of my greatest squicks. Ever. But this one is truly beautiful, understated in a way that rings true and possible.

Date: 2004-01-09 01:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Oh hell, fuck it. I AM enjoying it, this one at least. It's a testament to how much I trust you as a writer that I even read it, because RPF is one of my greatest squicks. Ever. But this one is truly beautiful, understated in a way that rings true and possible.

Thank you, sweetie. I do understand your qualms about RPS, because I've been suffering from the same reservations since the first time I wrote some. I did it; couldn't quite reconcile with how it made me feel, stopped. I have *no* idea why I started up again -- oh, wait, yes I do. It was this (http://www.livejournal.com/community/lotrboys_daily/165977.html) (scroll down for a transcript). Ack, I'm babbling. Long and short is I'm pleased you enjoyed it despite whatever qualms you may have.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] suaine.livejournal.com - Date: 2004-01-09 01:22 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2004-01-09 10:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amandajane5.livejournal.com
This was lovely!

Date: 2004-01-09 01:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2004-01-09 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serialkarma.livejournal.com
*tsk*

You have no patience. *g*

Date: 2004-01-09 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Have you *ever* known me to have patience about anything?

Date: 2004-01-09 11:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smonsterbite.livejournal.com
Jeez. This is great.

Billy’s life is a story recounted over and over again for the benefit of the press;

All the interviews I read, I think about how boooored they must get with this stuff. Actually, Dom/Billy et al do a pretty good job of keeping themselves entertained, but still.

Heard it, Dom? I’m the one that started it.

Hee! Nicely captured taking of the piss.

> And he thinks that real stories, the ones worth knowing and reading about in life, are the ones that lie in that unexplored gray area in between.

So true.

Date: 2004-01-09 01:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
All the interviews I read, I think about how boooored they must get with this stuff. Actually, Dom/Billy et al do a pretty good job of keeping themselves entertained, but still.

Okay, think about the interviews you've read, then think about all the ones you haven't read. Then multiply that by all the interviews in other countries that you haven't read. Then multiply *that* by the last three years... mind-boggling, isn't it?

Date: 2004-01-09 11:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] edigo.livejournal.com
i couldn't believe this the first time i saw it, so i did a double check. and a triple check. then i snapped the fuck out of it and started reading. and wibbled. as per usual.

dude! you have no idea how i'd missed this. words cannot describe it, nor the feeling of finding new lotrips by you. your billy voice is so powerful, solid. i've said it before, but it still holds true. he's so fucking believable. it's amazing.

Dominic is loud and vivacious, and Billy’s feelings for him don’t always stay in the clearly delineated boxes for best mate and co-worker.

i love this stuff. eat it up with a spoon. great work!

Date: 2004-01-09 01:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
dude! you have no idea how i'd missed this. words cannot describe it, nor the feeling of finding new lotrips by you. your billy voice is so powerful, solid. i've said it before, but it still holds true. he's so fucking believable. it's amazing.

Ack! You make me blush. You're wayyyy too kind, but I'm so glad you enjoyed this. I tend to have reservations about writing this stuff, but sometimes I just can't help myself. *flogs with wet noodle*

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] edigo.livejournal.com - Date: 2004-01-10 04:39 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2004-01-09 11:59 am (UTC)
ext_3042: (lotr - dominic)
From: [identity profile] queenofalostart.livejournal.com
“Of course I am, haven’t you read the papers? I’m madder than the fucking hatter.”

Billy smirks. “Heard it, Dom? I’m the one that started it.”


*snerk*

I love that!

Take two.

Date: 2004-01-09 02:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'd just like for it to be known that I'm ill, which is obviously why my spelling is worse than normal. At any rate, I'm chuffed you enjoyed this, ta!

Date: 2004-01-09 12:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queen-geek.livejournal.com
Aaaaah. *blisses out*. This is great. It's not smutty; it's just beautiful. Thanks for writing it!

Date: 2004-01-09 02:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you enjoyed it, thanks !

Date: 2004-01-09 01:16 pm (UTC)
ext_16407: Sailor Saturn from Sailor Moon (Default)
From: [identity profile] laerwen.livejournal.com
Similar to what someone else said, your "Billy-voice" seems to ring completely TRUE. Excellent snapshot musing of his character. I've had reservations about RPF/S in the past, but it is stuff like this that I truly enjoy. Bravo!

Date: 2004-01-09 02:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm quite glad to know you enjoyed this, thank you for commenting!

Date: 2004-01-09 01:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beizy.livejournal.com
That was gorgeous. Could settle for gen fic, it could, but damn. Beautiful.

Date: 2004-01-09 02:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it, thanks for commenting!

Date: 2004-01-09 01:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stumphed.livejournal.com
*gets chills*

That was beautiful.

Date: 2004-01-09 02:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2004-01-09 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lux--aeterna.livejournal.com
thank fucking god. i was praying that you'd write this.

it's just-- i say this every time-- it's your rhythm. you have this beautiful flow to your words that it just sucks me in and has me bumpbumpbumping along. well-done repetition is the sign of a very good writer, because it's actually a very hard thing to do without being redundant, if you know what i mean, or melodramatic.

like this:

He can’t remember where the motto comes from, but it seems rather valid at this point in his life, and he suspects that if he ever actually listened to the naysayers and the gossipmongers he would never leave the house. At the very least he would never have left Glasgow. He certainly would’ve never tried his hand at acting or writing or breathing for that matter.

He never would have met Dom.

He never would’ve done anything at all.


just. yes.

and i love your characterization of dom, because of course he would keep wearing a hat that bugged the hell out of people, and add more to the ensemble as he went along; cheeky little shit.

love. of course.

Date: 2004-01-13 08:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Aw, sweetie, you say the nicest things, thank you so much. It means a lot to me to know that you enjoyed this so much.

Date: 2004-01-10 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-erzulie.livejournal.com
Awww. I loved it. It was gorgeous not to mentoin rather artsy. It's left me smiling stupidly, which is always a nice thing I think. The Billy love is-oh-so-stronger.

Date: 2004-01-13 08:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm glad that you enjoyed this, thank you for commenting!

Date: 2004-01-10 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starlitefaerie.livejournal.com
mm. yes, please. perfect for a pre-work morning filled with coffee and air chill. feel warmer, content.

Date: 2004-01-13 08:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Always glad to be of service!

Date: 2004-01-10 07:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shellies.livejournal.com
that just made everything bad about this morning so much better.

<3 thank you

*cuddles fic*

Date: 2004-01-13 08:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm glad it made you feel better *hugs*

Date: 2004-01-10 02:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivil.livejournal.com
Billy. Yes, please.

Reality. Strange how in the shittiest RPS it's totally put aside, forgotten, with the strange characterizations and male pregnancy and whatnot. This seemed so very real. Not real as in "Oh! They're so gay and this story is SO true!", but as in, reality-like. Billy's character and voice in it. And the pace is calm.

It has the right atmosphere. I definitely liked this one.

Date: 2004-01-13 08:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2004-01-10 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kattiya.livejournal.com
*happy sigh*

i knew the poky stick would work eventually! i'm in love with your billy voice - always have been. just perfect.

*dances about merrily*

Date: 2004-01-13 08:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
You and your poky stick -- a phallic combination if there ever was one.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] kattiya.livejournal.com - Date: 2004-01-13 03:10 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2004-01-11 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] velena.livejournal.com
I've just spent an hour reading all of your LoTRips, and it's my new fandom. You've converted me, and I feel so dirty...


Where can I find more?

Date: 2004-01-13 09:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Ack, don't blame me, it's totally not my doing. But if I was enabling, which I'm not, but if I was I would totally tell you to read [livejournal.com profile] edigo, [livejournal.com profile] ethrosdemon, [livejournal.com profile] lalejandra, and [livejournal.com profile] lux__aeterna and visit [livejournal.com profile] shanalle's website for reccs and stories and stuff. I might also suggest heading for [livejournal.com profile] fellow_shippers. If I was enabling, I mean.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] velena.livejournal.com - Date: 2004-01-13 10:38 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2004-01-13 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unstealthy.livejournal.com
Found this via [livejournal.com profile] lotrips_recs and I'm so glad I did.

It's beautiful. Perfect Billy. IloveBillyhesmyfave. It's because of writing like this that I got into lotrips, completely against my will.

All my bones have melted.

*wibbles off*

Date: 2004-01-13 09:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm so glad that you enjoyed this, thank you for stopping by and commenting!

Date: 2004-01-14 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleanbc.livejournal.com
smart!fic

i'm on one of my fic reading binges and i think i've read 10 or so so far and this is the first fic with liek literary value and all that so far

Against the gray Glasgow skyline, Dominic is bright like a peacock, and he stands out like a sore thumb or an image against a blue screen. Dominic is loud and vivacious, and Billy’s feelings for him don’t always stay in the clearly delineated boxes for best mate and co-worker.

Sometimes Dominic bleeds into other parts of Billy’s life, and Billy thinks that this might not be right. But when he tries to imagine life before Dom came along, all he can recall is a colourless void.


*sniff* That's just beeeeuuuutiful! The juxtaposition (ooh big word) of Dom and Glasgow is brilliant

Date: 2004-01-16 10:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
I'm pleased that you enjoyed the story so much, thanks for reading and commenting!

Date: 2004-01-15 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ethrosdemon.livejournal.com
First off I have to say that your Russell hate makes the baby Kassie cry. I was bored tonight and I rewatched The Quick and the Dead It has Pre-Titanic Leonardo (remember when he could act and was really really good?), Sharon Stone when she still seemed like she had some chance of making something of herself, and Russell is dirty with a GUN. Holy mother. Jesus. I remember when this movie came out and I lost my complete mind over him. Bah. You're a hater.


the only story he’s ever believed is the one he tells himself every day about how he can do whatever he wants.

He thinks that’s the only story that counts.


You should take that to heart.

Oh, did I mention that Billy is in a movie with Russell? Oh, I did? Damn.

Reality is frigid Glaswegian winters and long flights around the world to promote a movie that may be all Billy’s remembered for someday.

It’s a stark, bitter possibility.


Crap, that's good.

In a life full of neutral colors and bit parts, at least his name will be in the black and white.

Beautiful, beautiful line, my dear. Yes.

Dom has a vividly orange fuzzy hat that barely covers his head and leaves lint everywhere. He wears the hat every time he comes to visit Billy in Scotland, and the colour hurts Billy’s eyes to the point of distraction.

Hey now. Lar's hat is black and mulicolored without any orange at all! Not even I have an orange hat. But I might make myself one because of this fic.


But when he tries to imagine life before Dom came along, all he can recall is a colourless void.

This fic has tons of great lines, but this is one. Oh, so sweet. Yeah.

He’s never going to be exactly who people expect him to be, but he’s happy living his gray life in his gray city with the occasional splashes of bright colour, and that’s what’s important.

Why do you resist the lotrips? You write it so well. Stop frontin'!! This is some great stuff.

Date: 2004-01-16 10:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Hey now. Lar's hat is black and mulicolored without any orange at all! Not even I have an orange hat. But I might make myself one because of this fic.

Dude, how do you not have an orange hat? You should totally have one. If I knew how to knit I would make you an orange hat that left lint everywhere. You know out of that really soft material that people use for hair bows. Do not tell me you never had ribbons in your hair when you were little. Man, don't even front.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] ethrosdemon.livejournal.com - Date: 2004-01-16 10:16 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com - Date: 2004-01-16 10:20 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] ethrosdemon.livejournal.com - Date: 2004-01-16 10:22 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2004-02-16 06:09 pm (UTC)
andrealyn: (ballad: thanks to edigo)
From: [personal profile] andrealyn
This is amazing (as is all your stuff, but this is just up in the ranks with them!) I love the little degrees of separation, and that little trick of 'what will I be remembered as?' and this is all done so well, and flows beautifully. Thank you for writing it!

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