Et tu, Seth?
Jan. 16th, 2004 01:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hackthis_archiveI quite like this one.
The O.C.
All male friendships are essentially quixotic: they last only so long as each man is willing to polish the shaving-bowl helmet, climb on his donkey, and ride off after the other in pursuit of illusive glory and questionable adventure.
(-The Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon. p. 326)
The Straw & The Camel
There are certain inalienable truths that Ryan has come to count on since he’s moved to Newport. Actually, no. Despite the new clothing, the fancy school and the countless legal papers that he’s signed on the dotted line, there’s only one thing that Ryan believes in more than anything:
He believes that Seth is his friend.
He believes that Seth will always be there when he needs him, and that Seth will always back him up so that people won’t get shot.
Seth and Ryan. Ryan and Seth.
They hang out. He is Seth’s hobby -- according to Sandy. They require ‘time.’
True they haven’t been doing a lot of hanging out since Seth was discovered by his ‘women’ and Marissa decided Ryan could be her white knight, but the underlying premise has never changed.
Ryan will be there to protect Seth from whatever stupid plan he creates, and then Seth will follow Ryan when Ryan has to jump in and save him. This is not up for debate or discussion. It’s not something that Ryan expects to have questioned. He would never question it. He never thought Seth would either, especially not over someone like Oliver.
Who lives in a hotel anyway?
*
“You don’t even know him.”
“I know him better than you.”
“You won’t even give him a chance.”
“To steal my girlfriend? You’re right.”
“It’s always about Marissa isn’t it?”
“You’d prefer for us to fight about you?”
*
Ryan doesn’t expect much from people. Actually, he tries not to expect anything, period.
He knows that expectation is a road paved with potholes and landmines. Expectations inevitably lead to nothing under the Christmas tree and moms who do runners while you’re still asleep. He knows it’s easier not to be disappointed when you don’t expect anything in the first place. However, since coming to Newport Ryan’s constantly being forced to reconsider and readjust the few expectations he does have.
He never expected Sandy to take him home like a stray puppy. He certainly never expected to be allowed to stay. He never expected to meet Marissa. Or Seth. He never expected to like them. He never expected Kirsten to like him. He never expected to burn down a house. He never expected to be asked to stay *again*.
Every time he's prepared to set his bar of standards a little bit lower, he’s forced to raise it a little bit higher; and just when he thinks he’s found the exception to the norm, he finds that perhaps the norm isn’t quite what he expected either.
It’s not supposed to be Seth and Oliver time.
Ryan’s not giving up Marissa, but he’s sure as hell not giving up Seth.
*
“You have to listen to me.”
“Why? Because you always know best, dad?”
“Seth, this guy is bad news. He’s manipulating you. He’s manipulating everyone.”
“Right, because I’m so easy to manipulate. Obviously I can’t choose my own friends or anything like that. I’m glad to see you have so much faith in my people skills, because it’s not like I begged my parents to let some delinquent kid from Chino stay in our house or anything.”
Ryan wonders if Seth even knows how much that just hurt him.
The fact that Seth can hurt Ryan at all says a lot about how important he is to Ryan’s peace of mind. Most people never get close enough to Ryan to even know that he genuinely likes some of the music Seth forces upon him, but Seth’s the only one who knows that the band on Ryan’s wrist used to belong to his dad.
*
Putting his feelings for Seth into a category isn’t quite as simple as Ryan suspects it should be. Seth is his friend, yes, but he’s also his pseudo-brother, except he never got Ryan arrested. The model home doesn’t really count since Seth was only trying to keep Ryan around in the first place.
Aside from that though, Seth is generally the first person Ryan sees in the morning, and occasional sleepovers with Marissa aside, he’s generally the last person Ryan sees at night, too.
Seth is always there; Ryan tries not to remember the time when he wasn’t. The rapport between them has come so easily, Ryan doesn’t tend to dwell on all the components it might entail besides fishing golf balls out of the pool and listening when Seth babbles on about the casting for the new Batman movie. Except the more he tries not to think about what Oliver is taking from him, the more it’s all he can focus on.
He likes Marissa. He really likes her. He needs to make sure she’s okay, and it’s important to him that she be happy, but Seth...
Ryan needs Seth.
If Ryan loves anybody -- it’s him, and the idea that Seth might not feel the same -- that Seth might choose this lying bastard over Ryan, who would pretty much do anything for him?
It’s not something that Ryan has ever expected.
It’s certainly not something he plans to take lying down.
*
“Seth, the guy is nuts, and he’s dangerous. I don’t – I don’t want you hanging around with him.”
“Yet again, I hear someone who’s not my dad telling me who I can and can’t have as a friend. What’s wrong, Ry, getting jealous that you’re not the only cool guy in town? I think somebody’s having some issues. Only you notice how I never acted like this when Donnie was around?”
“What? This -- It’s not the same.”
“No, it’s always different when it’s about you, right?”
Ryan feels like he’s had this conversation before.
“Seth. You need to listen to me.”
“No, you need to listen to yourself.”
“I’m not doing this with you.”
“Oh, then I guess this conversation is over. Maybe I’ll go see what Oliver is up to.”
“Seth, no.”
*
Ryan’s never been especially proud of his temper. It’s not something he thinks anyone should take pride in; he just gets angry when people won’t listen. When they don’t understand what he’s trying to say. He only wants what’s best for Seth. He wants Seth to understand this isn’t about anybody else.
It’s a lot easier for Ryan to get angry than it is to talk about what’s wrong.
It’s how things are done where he’s from.
Except that even if he’s from Chino, he’s in Newport now, and boys from Newport don’t shove their friends against the wall and shake them until their teeth clack together and their eyes go wide in fear.
Ryan has never wanted Seth to be afraid of him.
That’s not what they’re about.
*
Ryan’s fingers go slack on Seth’s biceps even as the rest of his body tenses up. When he steps away Seth looks as though he’s just found out the universe is run by The Man. This is the part where Ryan should go and lock himself in the bathroom or apologize profusely, but he won’t.
“He can’t have you,” Ryan says quietly. “He doesn’t need you. He doesn’t care. If you think I’m letting him have you, you should probably think again.”
The nonplussed look on Seth’s face is the real thing. “Let who have me do what where?”
“Oliver.”
“You think Oliver – you think I would choose Oliver over you? Dude, have you looked in the mirror recently?”
Ryan’s hands hang by his sides limply, but his fists open and close as though they can say all the words that he can’t get out. “I don’t want you hanging out with him, Seth.”
“What’s the worst thing that –“ Seth cuts himself off with a zipping motion across his lips. “Saying that tends to make bad things happen, and you know, I’m thinking with you already in Wolverine-mode maybe I won’t tempt fate, but Ry, dude, you have to know…”
Ryan blinks because he doesn’t know what exactly he’s supposed to know. It could be anything.
Seth moves pretty gracefully for somebody who’s all arms and legs, and Ryan’s not sure he deserves to be hugged, but it’s better than whatever he was expecting. “Women. Golf. X-men. Whatever. There’s never gonna be anybody else between us. We’re like, like Batman & Robin. Like Kavalier & Clay. We’re like Aragorn and Legolas – except without the blonde hair. Dude, Oliver’s just, he’s just some guy.”
Ryan’s words are muffled against Seth’s shirt. “I don’t like him, Seth.”
“I think somebody’s jealous,” Seth teases detaching himself from Ryan.
“What if I am?”
Ryan’s deadpan delivery catches Seth off guard.
“Are you?” Seth asks eventually.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Dude, that’s not the way to end a conversation.”
“That’s the way this conversation is ending.”
“Ry.”
“Seth.”
“I hate you sometimes.”
“I know exactly what you mean.”
“So, um, really. You and me and the gay thing, what’s up?”
“Who says anything’s up?”
“What? No. Look, I’m up. Ryan, don’t mess around, are you going to kiss me now?”
“Why would I do that?”
“To make me stay away from Oliver.”
“That would be bribery.”
“Bribe away. As a matter of fact, not only do I encourage you to bribe me, I’m also open to extortion, blackmail, sex slavery --”
Seth’s mouth stills under the press of Ryan’s lips, and Ryan smiles as Seth’s eyes flutter closed. He gently strokes Seth’s tongue with his own and stumbles slightly as Seth pulls him into the circle of his arms.
Seth tastes like coffee and sugary cereal, just the way Ryan expected him to. He even makes those little hungry noises in the back of his throat that Ryan wondered about, and Ryan thinks that maybe it’s okay to have expectations from your friends.
And that maybe, sometimes, your friends might even exceed whatever expectations you do have.
-end-
Notes:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
serialkarma was my beta, and I heart her. I'm sorry you're having a craptastic day.
*Speculation for The Rivals*
The O.C.
All male friendships are essentially quixotic: they last only so long as each man is willing to polish the shaving-bowl helmet, climb on his donkey, and ride off after the other in pursuit of illusive glory and questionable adventure.
(-The Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon. p. 326)
There are certain inalienable truths that Ryan has come to count on since he’s moved to Newport. Actually, no. Despite the new clothing, the fancy school and the countless legal papers that he’s signed on the dotted line, there’s only one thing that Ryan believes in more than anything:
He believes that Seth is his friend.
He believes that Seth will always be there when he needs him, and that Seth will always back him up so that people won’t get shot.
Seth and Ryan. Ryan and Seth.
They hang out. He is Seth’s hobby -- according to Sandy. They require ‘time.’
True they haven’t been doing a lot of hanging out since Seth was discovered by his ‘women’ and Marissa decided Ryan could be her white knight, but the underlying premise has never changed.
Ryan will be there to protect Seth from whatever stupid plan he creates, and then Seth will follow Ryan when Ryan has to jump in and save him. This is not up for debate or discussion. It’s not something that Ryan expects to have questioned. He would never question it. He never thought Seth would either, especially not over someone like Oliver.
Who lives in a hotel anyway?
“You don’t even know him.”
“I know him better than you.”
“You won’t even give him a chance.”
“To steal my girlfriend? You’re right.”
“It’s always about Marissa isn’t it?”
“You’d prefer for us to fight about you?”
Ryan doesn’t expect much from people. Actually, he tries not to expect anything, period.
He knows that expectation is a road paved with potholes and landmines. Expectations inevitably lead to nothing under the Christmas tree and moms who do runners while you’re still asleep. He knows it’s easier not to be disappointed when you don’t expect anything in the first place. However, since coming to Newport Ryan’s constantly being forced to reconsider and readjust the few expectations he does have.
He never expected Sandy to take him home like a stray puppy. He certainly never expected to be allowed to stay. He never expected to meet Marissa. Or Seth. He never expected to like them. He never expected Kirsten to like him. He never expected to burn down a house. He never expected to be asked to stay *again*.
Every time he's prepared to set his bar of standards a little bit lower, he’s forced to raise it a little bit higher; and just when he thinks he’s found the exception to the norm, he finds that perhaps the norm isn’t quite what he expected either.
It’s not supposed to be Seth and Oliver time.
Ryan’s not giving up Marissa, but he’s sure as hell not giving up Seth.
“You have to listen to me.”
“Why? Because you always know best, dad?”
“Seth, this guy is bad news. He’s manipulating you. He’s manipulating everyone.”
“Right, because I’m so easy to manipulate. Obviously I can’t choose my own friends or anything like that. I’m glad to see you have so much faith in my people skills, because it’s not like I begged my parents to let some delinquent kid from Chino stay in our house or anything.”
Ryan wonders if Seth even knows how much that just hurt him.
The fact that Seth can hurt Ryan at all says a lot about how important he is to Ryan’s peace of mind. Most people never get close enough to Ryan to even know that he genuinely likes some of the music Seth forces upon him, but Seth’s the only one who knows that the band on Ryan’s wrist used to belong to his dad.
Putting his feelings for Seth into a category isn’t quite as simple as Ryan suspects it should be. Seth is his friend, yes, but he’s also his pseudo-brother, except he never got Ryan arrested. The model home doesn’t really count since Seth was only trying to keep Ryan around in the first place.
Aside from that though, Seth is generally the first person Ryan sees in the morning, and occasional sleepovers with Marissa aside, he’s generally the last person Ryan sees at night, too.
Seth is always there; Ryan tries not to remember the time when he wasn’t. The rapport between them has come so easily, Ryan doesn’t tend to dwell on all the components it might entail besides fishing golf balls out of the pool and listening when Seth babbles on about the casting for the new Batman movie. Except the more he tries not to think about what Oliver is taking from him, the more it’s all he can focus on.
He likes Marissa. He really likes her. He needs to make sure she’s okay, and it’s important to him that she be happy, but Seth...
Ryan needs Seth.
If Ryan loves anybody -- it’s him, and the idea that Seth might not feel the same -- that Seth might choose this lying bastard over Ryan, who would pretty much do anything for him?
It’s not something that Ryan has ever expected.
It’s certainly not something he plans to take lying down.
“Seth, the guy is nuts, and he’s dangerous. I don’t – I don’t want you hanging around with him.”
“Yet again, I hear someone who’s not my dad telling me who I can and can’t have as a friend. What’s wrong, Ry, getting jealous that you’re not the only cool guy in town? I think somebody’s having some issues. Only you notice how I never acted like this when Donnie was around?”
“What? This -- It’s not the same.”
“No, it’s always different when it’s about you, right?”
Ryan feels like he’s had this conversation before.
“Seth. You need to listen to me.”
“No, you need to listen to yourself.”
“I’m not doing this with you.”
“Oh, then I guess this conversation is over. Maybe I’ll go see what Oliver is up to.”
“Seth, no.”
Ryan’s never been especially proud of his temper. It’s not something he thinks anyone should take pride in; he just gets angry when people won’t listen. When they don’t understand what he’s trying to say. He only wants what’s best for Seth. He wants Seth to understand this isn’t about anybody else.
It’s a lot easier for Ryan to get angry than it is to talk about what’s wrong.
It’s how things are done where he’s from.
Except that even if he’s from Chino, he’s in Newport now, and boys from Newport don’t shove their friends against the wall and shake them until their teeth clack together and their eyes go wide in fear.
Ryan has never wanted Seth to be afraid of him.
That’s not what they’re about.
Ryan’s fingers go slack on Seth’s biceps even as the rest of his body tenses up. When he steps away Seth looks as though he’s just found out the universe is run by The Man. This is the part where Ryan should go and lock himself in the bathroom or apologize profusely, but he won’t.
“He can’t have you,” Ryan says quietly. “He doesn’t need you. He doesn’t care. If you think I’m letting him have you, you should probably think again.”
The nonplussed look on Seth’s face is the real thing. “Let who have me do what where?”
“Oliver.”
“You think Oliver – you think I would choose Oliver over you? Dude, have you looked in the mirror recently?”
Ryan’s hands hang by his sides limply, but his fists open and close as though they can say all the words that he can’t get out. “I don’t want you hanging out with him, Seth.”
“What’s the worst thing that –“ Seth cuts himself off with a zipping motion across his lips. “Saying that tends to make bad things happen, and you know, I’m thinking with you already in Wolverine-mode maybe I won’t tempt fate, but Ry, dude, you have to know…”
Ryan blinks because he doesn’t know what exactly he’s supposed to know. It could be anything.
Seth moves pretty gracefully for somebody who’s all arms and legs, and Ryan’s not sure he deserves to be hugged, but it’s better than whatever he was expecting. “Women. Golf. X-men. Whatever. There’s never gonna be anybody else between us. We’re like, like Batman & Robin. Like Kavalier & Clay. We’re like Aragorn and Legolas – except without the blonde hair. Dude, Oliver’s just, he’s just some guy.”
Ryan’s words are muffled against Seth’s shirt. “I don’t like him, Seth.”
“I think somebody’s jealous,” Seth teases detaching himself from Ryan.
“What if I am?”
Ryan’s deadpan delivery catches Seth off guard.
“Are you?” Seth asks eventually.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Dude, that’s not the way to end a conversation.”
“That’s the way this conversation is ending.”
“Ry.”
“Seth.”
“I hate you sometimes.”
“I know exactly what you mean.”
“So, um, really. You and me and the gay thing, what’s up?”
“Who says anything’s up?”
“What? No. Look, I’m up. Ryan, don’t mess around, are you going to kiss me now?”
“Why would I do that?”
“To make me stay away from Oliver.”
“That would be bribery.”
“Bribe away. As a matter of fact, not only do I encourage you to bribe me, I’m also open to extortion, blackmail, sex slavery --”
Seth’s mouth stills under the press of Ryan’s lips, and Ryan smiles as Seth’s eyes flutter closed. He gently strokes Seth’s tongue with his own and stumbles slightly as Seth pulls him into the circle of his arms.
Seth tastes like coffee and sugary cereal, just the way Ryan expected him to. He even makes those little hungry noises in the back of his throat that Ryan wondered about, and Ryan thinks that maybe it’s okay to have expectations from your friends.
And that maybe, sometimes, your friends might even exceed whatever expectations you do have.
-end-
Notes:
serialkarma was my beta, and I heart her. I'm sorry you're having a craptastic day.*Speculation for The Rivals*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 01:45 pm (UTC)best. line. ever.
it only just occurred to me that i'm listening to my seth/ryan mix right now. -.^
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:34 pm (UTC)best. line. ever.
it only just occurred to me that i'm listening to my seth/ryan mix right now. -.^
That line actually came to me after I'd sent the story off to beta, I was walking down the hall and this voice just started *yammering* and I was all 'I hate you -- stop talking!' But no.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 01:50 pm (UTC)See Ryan. See Ryan smoke. The whiskey is implied. Just picture me doing this in about twenty minutes and know that my day will be infinitely better at that point.
Also, this story makes my day better. Thank you sweetie.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 01:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 02:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:38 pm (UTC)I'm more than a little appalled that I wrote that line I have to tell you. Nobody ever has thoughts like those in my stories, it's always implied, or just never covered at all. *whaps with wet noodle* Oh, Merlin, what if I'm going soft? *begins to have panic attack*
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 02:57 pm (UTC)Also, found a typo: Ryan’s feels like he’s had this conversation before.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 02:58 pm (UTC)I think I kind of love you.
This is exactly what I was talking about. Exactly what I wanted to see.
Also, this broke my heart into lots of mulchy pieces, and it was the first damned line of the story:
There’s only one thing that Ryan believes in more than anything:
He believes that Seth is his friend.
Well done you. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:47 pm (UTC)Why thank you very much, ma'am. I'm a firm believer that if there's something you want to read you should write it (or go to B&N), and as we discussed, I totally wanted to see this, et voila!
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:49 pm (UTC)Maybe when I get done with
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 10:40 pm (UTC)In this context, that is so a compliment.*g*
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 03:40 pm (UTC)“He can’t have you,” Ryan says quietly...
Ryan is my hero. Thanks for sharing this!
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:22 pm (UTC)I hope you don't mind me pointing out a couple of possible typos:
He certainly never expected to be allowed [to] stay
and
“What’s the worse thing that –“ - should that be 'worst'?
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 05:07 pm (UTC)This stabbed me to the *heart*, because I've been obsessed with the wrist cuff from the first episode I saw. Oh, the angst and the pain! Aiyeee, you had me very scared there, and then Seth realized how much he meant and came over to Ryan and oh! Happiness!
no subject
Date: 2004-01-20 06:08 pm (UTC)Yes, you are right, this proliferation of happy endings just won't do at all. I need angst. Somebody is going to have to die.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-20 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-16 11:33 pm (UTC)Seth had better say something just like this next week or I'm likely to reach through my TV and bitch slap some sense into that boy.
Excellent story. I loved hearing Ryan's inner thoughts & then listening as he tries to explain what he's feeling to Seth. Hard words for a kid who tries to express most of his emotions through his actions.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-20 06:10 pm (UTC)Excellent story. I loved hearing Ryan's inner thoughts & then listening as he tries to explain what he's feeling to Seth. Hard words for a kid who tries to express most of his emotions through his actions.
Yeah, I'm thinking Seth is going to get the snot kicked out of him by fandom if he doesn't do some serious "I was just playing" damage control.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-17 11:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-20 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-03 06:36 pm (UTC)I just...I love you. I love it. I want to have wild sex with it.
Yay.
I can *so* see the plot bunnies running amok right now.
...
Maybe I'm just high then. Hmm.
Thanks for writing this story (you know, even though, technically, you wrote this months ago.)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-14 06:10 am (UTC)So, thank you for writing this! :)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-14 06:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-11-26 06:50 pm (UTC)