These are not the droids you’re looking for.

[hackthis_archive]

Let’s hear it for the old folks!

So. How about we just give last night a big old ‘meh’ and be done with it?

No?

Okay. Five Good Things About Last Night That I Really Racked My Brain to Find (in no particular order or fandom.)


1. The great power of a long-sleeved black shirt.

Both Lex *and* Ryan were rocking said shirt at the very end of their respective episodes and I have to say, if this is the sartorial wave of the future, bring it the hell on!


2. Judge Abby Ross

She's pretty hot, no? And after squeezing out FIVE sprogs no less! It's great to see that Pete isn't the offspring of phantom parents, as we all know how that goes. Have we even *seen* Gabe since 'Jitters'?


3. Sandy Cohen, Great Jewish Hope

Whether it’s buying an old restaurant, assuring us that Gentiles really aren’t that funny, or assuring Ryan that he’s not going anywhere – Sandy is my new favorite character hands down. Also, um, the old folks were rocking the slash last night. First Sandy and Jimmy and then Kirsten and Julie. And even without the slashiness, it was nice to see grown-ups showing the young ones how the snark should really be done.


4. Lana Lang does indeed have a personality! -- however much like Kryptonite, any sort of proximity to Superman, or Clark Kent, renders her limp and useless. Perhaps if we move her to another show entirely she’ll be really good. I heard they have openings on, like, One Tree Hill or something.

(and last but not least, even though it look me twenty minutes to think of it)


5. Marissa Dumped Ryan! Ryan and Marissa are no more! Ryan is Free from the blob! Thank god that's over for a bit!

*has to be sedated*


Honorable Mention #1: Luke. The Great Gatsby Smackdown? Who knew he was so literary?

Honorable Mention #2: The Glasses. Rock the glasses, Clark!


And now the other list. The one I like to rather succinctly entitle:

LOTS O'CRAP.


1. Danny and Summer? You must be joking.

2. Blind people generally don’t have enough hand EYE coordination to jump on the back of moving vehicles. Seriously. Most seeing people can’t even do that.

3. Ryan faking like he hadn’t thought about the female version of Seth before. Ha!

4. The night watchman catching Ryan out in the file room two seconds after Ryan broke in. Dude. A) I guess we all carry around pocket flashlights b) Why the hell did Ryan listen to Seth in the first place? C) In that enormous fucking school, you wanna tell me that the watchman knew immediately where Ryan had gone? D) What fucked up place leaves the door to the file room unlocked?

5. Ryan, you dummy, you’re already on probation practically, and then you go and start a fight, thereby doing exactly what Oliver wants? This is really the way to win a fight and make your case you know. You can protect a lot of people after you've been *thrown* out of school. *whaps*

6. Don’t you think Clark’s newfound blindness might’ve been a bit more plausible if he’d bumped into something every now and then?

7. There’s this thing, called conflict of interest and recusing one’s self from a case when things like *kidnappings* happen. Perhaps the legal system in Smallville hasn’t heard of it yet.

8. Seth? Stop acting like a little bitch. If you don’t want to be with Anna, break up, but don’t pick at little shit in hopes she’ll do it for you.

9. Chloe, sweetie, when you dance with the devil, you wait for the song to stop before you try and run away.

10. Oliver, the imaginary girlfriend schtick is getting old. Almost as old as Marissa's stupidity, but not quite.


In Three Weeks: A vase gets shot. What, you think it’s gonna be person? Be serious, we’ve already done that storyline. Also, can I just point out how *long* three weeks is now that Josh has been spoiling us for like ages. And also, we just took a three-week break, WTF!

Also, I have no WTF!icon. Will somebody make me a WTF icon?

Comments

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

8. Seth? Stop acting like a little bitch. If you don’t want to be with Anna, break up, but don’t pick at little shit in hopes she’ll do it for you.

I so agree with you. On the other hand, this is so realistic it gives me flashbacks. I suppose i should commend the O.C., but I think I prefer to resent them for it instead.

Also, um, the old folks were rocking the slash last night.

dude, that last scene at the end, when Jimmy comes in at the last minute all, "Am I too late? What if I screw up? Hold me!" and then Sandy's face lit up? Oh, the slash.

Ryan was indeed a massive idiot in this episode. A woobie still, but an idiot woobie.

[semisuper.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, this is so realistic it gives me flashbacks. I suppose i should commend the O.C., but I think I prefer to resent them for it instead.

*cracks up*

I was dying at that. So fucking dumb and so fucking dead on at the same time. Is Anna on indefinitely now, or what? I am sadly uninformed as of late. and jimmy I have a madcrush DON'T YOU DARE TELL.

As for SV, I hardly even watched the majority of the ep; I did other stuff and listened and turned my head only for the pretty boy in the glasses. I am so incredibly meh on all of it right now.

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

I was dying at that. So fucking dumb and so fucking dead on at the same time. Is Anna on indefinitely now, or what?

Did I say it gave me flashbacks? I think I meant hives. And I can tell you about Anna, but over in my journal because I don't remember how spoiled Z. is for that story arc.

And oh yes, girls do make passes at boys who wear glasses. At least, ones that look like that.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

As for SV, I hardly even watched the majority of the ep; I did other stuff and listened and turned my head only for the pretty boy in the glasses. I am so incredibly meh on all of it right now.

I watch, but I don't process. It's all very pretty! meh! huh! pretty! meh! huh! -- you get the point. He looked way hot in those glasses though. I mean, like, whoa.

[semisuper.livejournal.com]

sdfjkhsdjkfhsd like whoa is right.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

For me?! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I so agree with you. On the other hand, this is so realistic it gives me flashbacks. I suppose i should commend the O.C., but I think I prefer to resent them for it instead.

*sigh* I know. I was just saying, still.

dude, that last scene at the end, when Jimmy comes in at the last minute all, "Am I too late? What if I screw up? Hold me!" and then Sandy's face lit up? Oh, the slash.

I know. Jimmy is such a girl though, I mean really. At least we see where Marissa gets it from. And the fact that Sandy has a pet name for him? 'Coop!' Ack! *dies from the Sandy love*

[silveraspen]

And here I managed to NOT record the ep last night... drat. Well, at least with the 3-week break there's a chance that they'll rerun it.

[thornsilver]

In three weeks? How did I miss that part? :(

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

I was kind of overjoyed to see Ryan melt down at the end, because, yes he was an idiot, but that's exactly what a boy from Chino with his background would do. He was isolated throughout the episode, with no one backing up his hard-earned instincts. So when Oliver pushed his buttons, he saw red and attacked. And oh! Think of the angst that will ensue. I'm looking forward to that.

[tigress35.livejournal.com]

Whether it’s buying an old restaurant, assuring us that Gentiles really aren’t that funny, or assuring Ryan that he’s not going anywhere – Sandy is my new favorite character hands down. Also, um, the old folks were rocking the slash last night. First Sandy and Jimmy

Word word word word word word!!!!

Oh yeah, did I mention, WORD?

Sherrif and Judge Ross are so doing it too. As well as Lex and Lana.

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Okay in the confines of my LJ I can say that if I was so inclined and so deluded that perhaps, I possibly might've seen the Lex/Lana potential, but then I blinked and it was over and my world righted itself. It never happened! Thank Mordred!

aha!

[(Anonymous)]

I stick to my prior prediction that Lex and Clark are gonna have major fisticuffs over Lana one of these days. Wait for it...
(This and the Oliver spec are from Shirin btw, as if you didn't know.)

Re: aha!

[(Anonymous)]

ok, I'm also gonna rant for a second about next week. How many f*cking times is Lana going to fall for some f'd-up dude who uses some K-induced power to make her nuts, only to be saved by guess who? I'm sure this has been mentioned before, but just saying. If this isn't in the drinking game it damn well should be.

Re: aha!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Dude, how long have you been watching the show again? It's been this way since the beginning of time, you think this is like, gonna change or something?

Re: aha!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

For the fiftieth time I will tell you that there is no way on Merlin's green earth that you are ever going to convince me of the plausibility of anybody fighting over Lana's stupid ass. Really. She's just not worth it in my book. Now I'm certain that the people in charge have other ideas, but to me? Absolutely not.

[teaphile.livejournal.com]

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*cracks up*

Don't you know when the image finally came through I was all WTF is this, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Priceless. Thanks!

[teaphile.livejournal.com]

I've been dying for a way to use it, and you provided the perfect opportunity. Enjoy!

[lalejandra.livejournal.com]

10. Oliver, the imaginary girlfriend schtick is getting old. Almost as old as Marissa's stupidity, but not quite.

Am I the only one who thought that probably Natalie was the girl who filed the restraining order, though?

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

*feels very stupid*

Dude, never even crossed my mind, but you are right. I have no doubts about that now.

gunshot speculation

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, I think psycho-boy will off himself. Or land himself a dramatic, "I-did-it-because-I-love-you/"but-Oliver-that's-not-the-kind-of-love-I-want" stay in the hospital, followed by a long-term stay in the crazy house, never to be heard from again (or at least, until season 3, when he comes back a changed man--or is he??). Either way, out of everyone's hair.

[ficangel.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. 'Cause they couldn't dare damage their precious Marissa. I fear the return of Marissa/Ryan, but I do the dance of joy while it's gone.

*The Slash*

Eep. I didn't want to see it, because adultery is SO FAR ONE OF MY SQUICKS THAT IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY, but yeah. It was there, and there hard.

[serenada.livejournal.com]

Interesting take on Oliver (http://jessicaleejernigan.typepad.com/jessica_lee_jernigan/2004/01/oliver_trask_lh.html).

Doesn't make me want him any less dead, but it's interesting.