Is this essay turning into a weekly thing?

[hackthis_archive]

1. My girl is dating Adrian Brody; Orlando is proposing to Kate, and most importantly -- Angelina is back with Jonny!

2. I watched 10 minutes of the Super Bowl last night; I was just fortunate to make it the interesting ten minutes. In completely non-nipple news though, someone explain to me why all the featured songs were from 1993-1998? I mean I know Puffy hasn’t had a good rap since Biggie died, since Biggie wrote all his stuff, but anybody else? Was it like a poor man’s retrospective or what? Was the flashing supposed to make up for that?

3. I saw five movies this weekend: Lost in Translation, The Station Agent, The Truth About Charlie, Mulholland Drive and Igby Goes Down – the B-movie version All I Want. Let’s not focus on the fact that I was forced to sit through a Wombat movie that wasn’t LOTR-based, instead lets talk about why nobody’s got mad love for The Station Agent? That is a great fucking movie! Peter Dinklage, Patricia Clarkson and Bobby Cannavale (OZ!, baby!) are amazing. I was kinda ‘eh’ about Lost in Translation, though, which I thought was unfortunate because I really wanted to like it.

4. I had massive insomnia last night, and I kept think about a posting someone (who shall remain nameless, unless they prefer otherwise) made about likening fandom to a relationship and asking why people don’t break things off when it’s obvious you’re not in love any more.

I highly doubt this posting was directed at me personally, but at two in the morning, I had a quite a bit of time to mull this over. The more I thought about my stance on something like this, my two bits tends to work as follows:

*(Kindly keep in mind that this is my opinion, and I am not talking about anybody else except for me here. It’s always nice to hear I’m not alone, but I’m not trying to point fingers or whatever. I’m using Smallville because it’s been my fandom of choice for longer than any other)


The Love & The Lust

I first came across Smallville in episode three of season one. The episode in question was ‘Hothead’ and as far as introductions go, well, if you’ve seen the episode, you know it wasn’t necessarily a great one. However, I stuck around because a) it was new b) it was pretty and c) Lex. Shallow reasoning, sure, but I have never claimed to be terribly deep when it comes to my fandom selections, and also, Lex.

Dude, it's always about Lex.

Some people love Clark, some people love Chloe. There are people who think Lana is the be all and end all, but I fell for Lex, and from the outset he’s been my preferred credit card of choice.

in the past, people have talked about the way he moves and the clothing he wears and the cars he drives (well, I’ve talked about the cars) and his general demeanor as their reasoning for the Lex lust. And while I enjoy him for all those reasons, without yanking out the past, I'll just say that I identify with certain elements of his persona and certain facets of his past. Ergo, in Lex, I found a 'kindred spirit;' things I could relate to and that’s what made me want to write him. I know I'm not alone in this as this seems to resonate quite a bit in SV fandom, which to me, is cool because people tend to give him much more consideration when they’re writing him because he's so reflective of everyone who's ever tried to make right after living a less than stellar life. And maybe everyone doesn't see it this way, but at least *I* did/do when I'm writing him.

In the beginning I tended to concentrate on the books he’d read, the clubs he's gone to, the schools, but most of all I just wanted to get in his head, and I figured the best way to do this is was to write him. And boy did I write him. I practiced like all the fucking time -- I used to churn out a shedload of stories. And I read about him, a lot (thank you, Omar, for your great recapping love, and also liviapenn for putting together the SSA, and also to everyone who's ever thought about the Lex they see on the small screen), and lo, I was really fucking happy.

People tend to talk about their bulletproof kink (TM thete1) and when I think about it now, I can pretty much say that Lex is my bulletproof kink. If Lex is in it, I will give it a shot: mpreg, first person POV (if you turn your back on this, you’ll miss out on (I) Forget, which would be wrong), AU’s, gender-benders, cloning, parodies, you name it, and if Lex was in it, I’d give it a shake -- with the notable exception of rape-fic and completely off-the-wall OOC. A girl has to have some boundaries, and everything I read contributed a little more to how much I loved this character. Every person who's ever written about Lex has helped shape my definition of him and the things he is to me and the things that he isn’t. And when I first became enamoured of him, dude, I could talk about him for ages. God knows I probably drove quite a few people mental yammering on about things he might or might not have done. I avidly watched and taped every episode until the middle of season two, and there was nothing that Lex did that I couldn’t reconcile myself to forgiving at some point, because not only was I crazy about him, but most of the people that I talked with were pretty fucking crazy about him, too.

I thought nothing of canceling Tuesday night plans to be home to watch the show. I gave up on Buffy for Smallville, because you know, at the time I could see no wrong with the show, and it’s very easy to be in love when everybody else around you is in love, too.

I wrote story after story after story (I’m in the 70+ stories, and 40+ drabbles range, people, this is not a fleeting love we’re talking about here) featuring Lex with occasional forays into other POVs simply because I think they helped me find other angles for Lex . Of course, like everything that’s really good and really bright and what have you, there are bound to be potholes, things that you do even though you’re not too sure about them. For example: I am not a Superman girl. Give me Batnut any day. Give me Dick or Plastic Man or anybody who’s clearly got some issues. I am all about the issues! – which perhaps is why some people kept trying to push the Chloe/Lex on me, but alas that didn’t work. I always told ethrosdemon that if I wanted het I could just run to the nearest bar and deal with the stupidity there. I say this to say that I continually paired Lex up with Clark because that’s so what seemed most natural. It didn’t really matter that I didn’t like Clark; Lex and Clark have chemistry and denying that would like trying to deny, well, something really obvious... like Lionel & Morgan Edge.

At the end of the day, I say this only to say that even while I’ve never been enamored of Clark, he was good for Lex, and I wanted that. When you’re in love, you want those you love to be happy, too. The problem with all this was as season two went on, the chemistry on-screen kept being shoved aside in favor of Lex Abuse.

I am not down with the Lex Abuse; I don’t care who’s perpetrating it, or for what reason. Now I’m not saying that Lex is anybody’s angel, let’s be honest here, Lex can be pretty damn manipulative and underhanded when he wants to be, but there’s only so much that anybody can expect to watch week after week and tolerate. Especially when each episode seems to hinge on railing on Lex’s *eve-ville* past and how Clark can’t trust him because he’s a Bad Boy, and his father is a Bad Man. Dude, WTF! If we were all judged by the sins of our parents, one-fourth of us would be in jail, another fourth would be in the psych ward, another fourth would be running our respective countries into the ground and the only reputable fourth would probably, well, who knows. They probably would’ve left to colonize Mars or something a long time ago. I digress. I simply say this to point out that there’s only so much reiteration people can take before they begin to believe or they just turn off. I started turning off.


We Need to Separate

The first episode that I actively walked away from was Fever, the fact that it came on the heels of the brilliance of Prodigal was pretty fucking staggering, but the production team has always been really weird about their scheduling, it’s like every great episode must be counter-balanced by three that suck. So, really, I wasn’t expecting much anyway. I actively turned in the next week, and lo, there was Rosetta. A stellar episode by anybody standards. But then came Witness and Accelerate and I really did not like Calling at all. And I know it would seem that perhaps I started falling out of love around the time Lex got serious with Helen, but considering all the holes in that story line, I couldn’t be bothered to take it that seriously. What I fell out of love with was the way that everyone always assumed the worst of Lex no matter what, how he never seemed able to make people think he was doing anything right. When you love somebody, you want them to catch an occasional break, you know? Time and time again, Clark was granted redemption, but could Lex get any slack? No.

They stuck him on an island for three months and a few screws got knocked loose. He comes back and people start trying to kill him all over again. The woman he loved, well, y’all know about her. The Kents, who are more up and down with him than the NASDAQ, can’t figure out whether to love him or take out a restraining order. There are blind spots and then there huge gaping vortex wholes of inconsistency. Lionel – okay, he’s just a wack job, but a magnificent one. And Clark, his “best friend,” how many times has Clark accused Lex of unspeakable crimes? And yes, I will give Clark credit for standing by Lex when the shit was really hitting the fan (Shattered) but by that time, for me, it was just too late.


I'm Taking the Dog With Me

The show, no, I don’t love the show any more. I know I did at one point, when I thought they were going to give Pete some development and stop trying to ram the whole Clark/Lana thing down our throats, but those days are gone. I get amusement from Chloe, and Adam is pretty intriguing, but for me, I suspect it’s too little too late. That love is over, but Lex? I will always love Lex. And when I can, I’ll always want watch the show and read the amazing stories you guys write just so I can see other takes on the things he does, but the days of blind devotion and taping the show are so over. This doesn't mean I plan to completely stop watching Smallville or totally cease writing about it; I've put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, and I'm not going to just let it die. But perhaps instead of making it my only priority, we'll engage in an open relationship. I think that's the healthest choice of action at this point, but Lex? No, I'm not letting him go.

Comments

[lastscorpion.livejournal.com]

I really agree with you about all the Lex abuse. I'm still watching and taping, though -- I watched and taped Buffy 'til the bitter (bitter bitter bitter) end.

Have you read mobiusklein's essay about Smallville as a condemnation of small town morals?

[stphjay.livejournal.com]

I think Lost in Translation was okay, if way overrated. I say that Scarlett Johannsen was miscast.
The Station Agent is a great, wonderful movie that everyone, everywhere should see.

I'm not down with the Lex abuse either. Poor baby.

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[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I think Lost in Translation was okay, if way overrated. I say that Scarlett Johannsen was miscast.
The Station Agent is a great, wonderful movie that everyone, everywhere should see.

People seem rather enamoured of Scarlett Johannsen, but I just don't see it. She seems rather bland to me.

[sissyfritz.livejournal.com]

Yes! The Station Agent was a wonderful film, I was thrilled to see it make it on to Roeper's top ten films of the year list. And believe it or not, I wasn't exactly thrilled with Lost in Translation either. I found it sort of ordinary.

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[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I wasn't exactly thrilled with Lost in Translation either. I found it sort of ordinary.

I kept thinking that I was missing something or that something more would happen. There was no epiphany. No moment of 'oh, this is actually really good.' It did make me want to go to Japan though, I must say.

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[sissyfritz.livejournal.com]

Actually, the thing I liked about the film the most was it's depiction of Tokyo. Most movies filmed in Japan tend to focus only on the ancient aspects, not on the modern. It was kind of refreshing to see Japan from a slightly different perspective.

[poopins.livejournal.com]

Dreamy sigh Angelina and Jonny. I want to see The Station Agent. I like small people.

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[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Dude, you will be having small people adoration by the time the movie is over. And Angelina and Jonny is all about The Pretty.

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

I didn't read the post you're referring to (or at least, I don't think I have), but it's funny--or, you know, completely predictable--because I've been doing a lot of thinking about my waning interest in SV lately too, and, oddly enough, also thinking about it like a relationship. Mostly, that's revolved about my neuroses about not being able to commit to anything for very long, but let's leave that aside, as you can probably figure out what I'd say anyway.

But yeah, I completely hear you on the general progress of fannish love re: SV. Love, love, love, totally enthralled, tape religiously, panic if taping doesn't work, read everything, ponder constantly, yadda yadda. And then, after a while, for whatever reason, the love wanes and the cracks are more noticeable, and after a while they're unforgiveable and it's like you just have to walk away. Except in my case, I think I just got saturated with the SV and the Clark/Lex and now it's rare to find something new and interesting and unexpected, either on the show or in the fic, and I think that's the major reason why I have mostly moved on.

As for the Lex Abuse, to me, it's not so much that it's frustrating to watch this character never, or almost never, catch a break, it's that the way it's portrayed on the show--especially with the Kents--makes characters who are in most other ways decent, kind human beings look like irrational bigots with blind spots the size of Montana, and I can't accept that we the audience are supposed to watch this and continue to think of them as the Good side. Because they're not. And if I thought the PTB of the show were trying to get the audience to see them as Good But Flawed, and thus the tragedy of Lex's turn to evil lies in their ultimately human failings, I'd actually be okay with that. But that's not the sense I get from the show at all, and whether they're just trying to convey that but not succeeding, or whether they are, in fact, trying to make these characters be people that we should consider respectable and good (and that Lex, in turn, is the one who's screwing up by failing to meet their expectations), it just makes me dislike them and dislike seeing them onscreen. Hence my tendency to emotionally tune out anymore unless it's Lex and Clark in the scene. Which I think is my other reason for not being as into the show anymore.

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[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Mostly, that's revolved about my neuroses about not being able to commit to anything for very long, but let's leave that aside, as you can probably figure out what I'd say anyway.

You and I live on the same page quite often, don't we?

Love, love, love, totally enthralled, tape religiously, panic if taping doesn't work, read everything, ponder constantly, yadda yadda. And then, after a while, for whatever reason, the love wanes and the cracks are more noticeable, and after a while they're unforgiveable and it's like you just have to walk away. Except in my case, I think I just got saturated with the SV and the Clark/Lex and now it's rare to find something new and interesting and unexpected, either on the show or in the fic, and I think that's the major reason why I have mostly moved on.

I was over saturated quite a while ago, but I still happily read it, simply for any sort of chance at redemption that people are willing to give him. It's rather foolish I suspect, and I'd love to be able to explain why I persist in reading about a pairing, one part of which I can't get behind, but I suspect that it really is some sort of manic adoration on my part. Long after the show is gone, I will still think Lex is the best thing since beer. And less fattening, too!

[darkvictory.livejournal.com]

I think my favorite part of the "Orlando is proposing to Kate" story is that he wants it to be a surprise. *wags finger at the millions of people that visit the imdb every day* don't none of you tell her about it! *rolls eyes*

[issaro.livejournal.com]

nothing constructive to add. just the Lex abuse? right there with you, hon. There's only so much you can take ya'know? And for me I think it was Asylum that pretty much killed me. You're absolutely right... it's just too hard to watch him get beaten down every single freaking episode.

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[hackthis.livejournal.com]

It wasn't even the physical abuse that finally did me in, it was just the persistent way in which Lex never seemed able to catch a break and people were always thinking the worst. After a while, you start to believe your own press and it's all, well 'fuck it, might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb!' That's how people get in trouble.

[slodwick.livejournal.com]

Just FYI, I think my girl Scrunchy would be thrilled to have someone else with whom to talk about The Station Agent... she is a *huge* Bobby Canavale fan, and I know she's been crazy excited to see this movie. *g*

[lugonn.livejournal.com]

I started in Smallville late, so I never developed a full relationship. In fact, I only got turned onto the series around the middle of last season. And I just got so tired of Jonathon's "you can't trust Lex" mantra. Come one - the boy has flaws, but he has some goodness and love that he wants to share. Let him try, and he might meet your expectations. If you don't give him the chance, of course he will fail. I didn't even watch much this season -- I caught the pilot and a piece of one episode where a needy Luke was being rejected by Clark (after all Luke has done for him), because (as far as I could tell), Clark knew was scared to trust him. Fuck you, Clark. Sometimes there are more important things in the universe than your secrets. I haven't watched it since.

Ryan is my true love. Or maybe Seth. So Clark and Lex can just take their dsyfunctional relationship somewhere else. :)

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[lugonn.livejournal.com]

needy Luke == needy Lex. Too much O.C., and Luke is so needy right now. :)

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[hackthis.livejournal.com]

You really had me confused there for a bit, I was like Luke's never been to Kansas in his life... even though he does look somewhat like Whitney.

[luciamad.livejournal.com]

I always thought it was odd that Lost in Translation got so much more attention than The Station Agent. They're both about the bonds that come out of loneliness and The Station Agent seemed more accessible. And Peter Dinklage has the best voice.

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[hackthis.livejournal.com]

And Peter Dinklage has the best voice.

Word. I totally admit to have a 30 second crush on him for the duration of that film.