It's like any relationship -- sometimes it's cool -- sometimes it sucks.

[hackthis_archive]

People, let’s review:

Pimp Rule #381: Thou shalt not attempt to pick up any man/woman when you are leaning against the *station wagon* in which you are currently living in.

Pimp Rule #382: Thou shalt not attempt to pick up any man/woman when you are driving a mini-van/station wagon or any other mode of transportation in which children are the majority of passengers.

[/pimp rules]

Can we just talk about how cool The-Artist-Who-Used-to-be-Known-As-Prince-But-Finally-Realized-Nobody-Could-Say-His-Name-and-changed-it-back was last night? Nothing compares 2 U!

Also, over the last couple days I’ve been seeing posts about general dissatisfaction with one’s writing and perhaps handing over ideas to other people. For what my opinion is worth – about 5/8th of one Euro – I think that everyone has spots when they’re discouraged and aren’t pleased with what they produce. Some of those spots just happen to be longer than others – I mean mine are chronic. I’ve been doing this for three years now, which really isn’t long by most people’s standards, but to me it might as well be donkey years.



When I first got into writing fan fiction it was simply something to do to pass the time. It was never something I was going to do for longer than that one-off piece, and when I got into fandom (AtS) and discovered the talent that was out there? Oh, Christ on a crutch, I was in awe. I was in horror. I wanted to go the hell home. However, I was lucky enough to be graced with the friendship of obsessedmuch and ethrosdemon, and they’ve been amazing enough to encourage me when I had, like, no faith in anything I did.

My first fandom was BtVs/AtS, and while I learned a lot about writing and POVs and style in general, I don’t think I really came into my own until Smallville hit the air. In the two-and-a-half years I’ve been writing Smallville I’ve learned how to incorporate dialogue (there was a long stretch where none of my stories had any because I didn’t think I could do it), exposition, and all sorts of stuff that they don’t teach you when you’re getting your degrees at the fancy universities that cost lots of money each year. I’ve also dabbled in HP, LOTRips, The OC, and Everwood and with every story I write I like to think I learn a little bit more about writing in general and what does and doesn’t work for me as a writer.

I know when I first came to fandom it was really hard for me to read all the amazing stories out there and then come back and produce what I thought was dreck. Even when I had feedback and comments and encouragement it was hard to look at what I was doing and feel it was worth anything. There are some stories I’ve read that have moved me to tears of jealousy and envy, and there are stories that have broken my heart without even trying. Emotions like those are always hard to deal with, especially when there’s a sense of hopelessness about the writing that you, yourself are producing at the time. But, you know, don’t give up. Like everything worth having; this is worth working for -- and at. God knows I’ve wanted to give up before, but I’m glad I haven’t.

I know that I have yet to produce a story that I worship backwards and forwards, but at the end of the day, that’s not really the point. There are stories that I’m fond of and stories that make my head hurt. There are stories that I’m proud to have written because it was me attempting something new (like Telegraph Avenue) and stories that I look back on and wince, but if I hadn’t written them then I’d never know what I’m capable of, and to me, that’s what important.

I say all this to say that I think everybody has stretches of jealousy and irritation and ‘This is/I’m just not good enough’ -- but you are. We all are. It’s okay to get discouraged and sad, but there’s always that delete button. There is always that Ctrl+N for a fresh page and a new start. It doesn’t matter if this story isn’t The Best Thing Ever for you, it might be for someone else; and even if it’s not for someone else, or for you, who’s to say that the next story won’t be The One? If you give up now, you’ll never know.


My dreams are not always realized, but I always hope
-Ovid

Comments

Re:

[sundaysunday.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, Xtina looked so lovely in her suit. She needs to ditch that heavy pancake make-up and bad wig though. ;) So does that mean you didn't see Justin perform? Man, that's sad. He was so good. :D

And I dunno who made me a Justin fangirl but I'm going to go kill them today.