oh. this is gonna be funnnnnnn.

[hackthis_archive]

~ * ~



Beautiful is a hackneyed word. People use it, abuse it and apply it to the wrong things. They toss ‘beautiful’ about and grant its innate power to objects that are really only attractive or passable. Perhaps that’s why Lex doesn’t apply the word to much in his life. He prefers to use other adjectives when something is surrounded by that sort of aesthetically pleasing quality.

Breath-taking is better. Gorgeous is a tad plebian, but resplendent. Resplendent isn’t bad, neither is brilliant or magnificent. And then there’s exquisite: a word that Lex reserves for new cars, Clark Kent, and occasionally a supermodel or two. If Lex had ever known that it would be this easy to get all three things in the same room, he would’ve arranged his own car show months ago.

All that shine and gloss and… flannel in one place. It’s almost too good to be believed, but Lex believes.

Lex believes in himself. Lex believes in power and strength and… he believes he’s going to buy a new Aston Martin Vanquish.

“Lex?”

A flash before Lex’s eyes, and something is obstructing his view of his new love.

“Lex?” It takes Lex a minute to realize that he’s supposed to talk to someone, but wow. There’s nothing wrong with being a car collector. A car aficionado.

A car whore.

“Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, Clark?’

“Um, well, it’s nice, if you like your cars fast and sleek with V-12 engines and wrapped in leather.” There’s a pause where Lex almost takes his eyes away from the car long enough to look at Clark. But he can see Clark on the ride back to Smallville.

“Yeah.” Lex is not sighing, really.

“I don’t know if I’d call it beautiful, though. The grille is a bit funny looking. ”

“It’s precise. It blends in with the color, don’t talk badly about a car you’re going to want a ride in.”

“I never said I was going to ask for a ride in it.” Just like Clark’s never said he wants to ride Lex either, but he will. In time. Lex would bet his un-purchased Aston Martin on it.

“It goes zero to sixty in 4.40.”

“Oh, well, *yeah*.”

“That’s what I thought, farmboy. Wait. Did you say it was *nice*?” No one insults Lex’s cars, or future cars, either. “The VW Beetle is *nice*, Clark. It’s cute. If you want a nice car go get a Ford. This car is not nice. This car is fucking…” This car *is* fucking. This car is a quarter of a million dollars worth of fucking.

Maybe if Lex gave Clark the car…

“There’s nothing wrong with Ford.”

“They make trucks.”

“What’s wrong with trucks?”

“I have one collecting dust in my garage. It does nothing for me, but if you’re really so keen…”

“I didn’t mean that. I was just saying that there’s nothing wrong with a Ford car or truck.”

“They’re American.”

“And what’s wrong with being American made?”

“They’re made in *America*, Clark.”

“You’re so unpatriotic, Lex.”

“When it comes to cars you better believe it. Look what happened with Firestone.”

“Not all things made in America blow up on the road.”

“No, sometimes they drop large amounts of twine in the middle of road to eliminate the competition instead.”


TBC most definitely.

Comments

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

Dude, this fic is fucking.... This fic *is* fucking!

sadly there will be no fucking in this fic, but i will make ever effort to have as much gratuitous car whoring as possible to make up for that. *g*

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Well, as long as the cars (to quote Beth) are total whores for the Sexy, who needs fucking?

(We do, of course, but I think you can apply for dispensation on a case by case basis.)