hackthis_archive | LOTRips – More Times Than the Milkman

It’s a vicious circle of... tag:
I say this;

lalejandra writes this.
She says something else... I write this.

Unbeta’d dysfunctional story alert.

LOTRips
BB & DM & EW in...
More Times Than the Milkman

“We’re all great friends...We’d do anything for each other.”
-Billy Boyd, USA Today, Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Prologue

"I’m not going through this again," he said.

"It’s not like last time."

He flinched when Dominic tried to touch him.

“It’s always like last time, Dom.

They’re on the motorway to the Oscars when he sees the bruises for the first time in ages. Maybe this is what he gets for leaving Dom alone in the States, but it’s all Billy can do not to toss Elijah out the moving car or send Dominic into the front seat along side the driver.

The bruises aren’t even that noticeable as long as Dom keeps his sleeves down, but this is Dom. All he does is move about like a three year-old running loose at Tesco's, and someone is going to notice. Someone already has.

Do they really think that he can’t tell?

Do they really think that he doesn’t know that it’s started all over again?

If they want his attention so badly, can't they just ask for it like everyone else?

He won’t go through this twice. If Elijah and Dom want to get into this sort of twisted power game slash mind-fuck, again, then that’s all them. If Dom wants someone to tell him what to do; if Elijah wants to be that person – well, he won't be coming around for tea. Ta very much.

He’ll send them something from Habitat when he gets home.

This is what kept him from coming to California in the first place. He knew that Dom and Elijah, together, was an accident of epic proportions. Billy knew that they would just fuck themselves up like this all over again. And he’s not wrong. They’re not pear-shaped; they’re completely out of fucking order.

Billy wants to rattle Elijah until the blue scales fall from his eyes, and he looks more human. He wants to drag Dominic home by his entirely too blonde hair and remind him where he comes from, and why this just isn’t on at all.

But Billy won’t say anything.

He can just imagine the headlines if they got into an accident because he’s started a row:

Hobbits Killed Before Oscars
Never had a chance to see sweeping win

Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin Swallowed by Mount Doom
Hobbits killed in massive Oscar pileup

*

It’s the bruises that put Billy off the most. He knows why they’re there, and he knows who put them there, and he’s not going to just go along with it all and pretend that everything’s fine when he knows it’s not.

He’s been here with Dom before.

He's had Dominic in his bed, begging for something he can't define; and Dom's pretty when he's in pain, perhaps, but Billy. Billy knows better. He's already been around this block before. He won’t do it twice. Yes, he adores Dom. In fact, he loves him more than he can say -- but he's just not into hurting people he loves. Billy's already had enough of that in his life; he's got no truck with doing this just for kicks.

And if that means that he can't be around Dom at the Oscars or the aftershows or anywhere anymore, then so be it.

He can tell by the look on Sean's face that he knows what's going through Billy's mind, and maybe he'll just go back to the hotel and be with Ali, because being around Dom and Elijah right now is enough to make him ill.

As far as he’s concerned it doesn't really matter that Dom came to him first.

*

I’m not trying to hurt myself.

Then what would you call it. *Look* at your wrists, Dom.

I’m just – it’s nice to feel alive is all.

And I just don’t do that for you, is that it?

That’s not what I meant at all.

*

The first time Dom asked Billy to tie his hands together, Billy thought it was a bit of a lark. He figured that it would be a bit of a one-off and then they would go back to shagging on the kitchen floor or in the bath or even against the boot of Orlando’s car. But it was just the start of a decent that Billy had no desire to take. The Mines of Moria in the head of Dominic Monaghan weren’t really what he’d signed on for, and sometimes he wonders if Elijah was lurking about just waiting for him to decide he didn’t have the stomach for what Dom wanted.

Because it’s not that Billy doesn’t want Dom, or even that he doesn’t love him, but he just doesn’t understand what Dom gets out of the bruises and all the pain. Isn’t life hard enough anyway?

*

”I can’t be with you when you’re like this.”

“You’re having me on.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You’re just going to leave me then?”

“It’s clear I can’t give you what you want.”

“Bill – Bills, we can work it out.”

“Not if you don’t love yourself as much as I already do.”

*

The only thing worse than realising you're broken -- is realising that maybe you weren’t even that together in the first place, and every time Billy sees Dom fawning all over Elijah, it’s all he can do not to be violently sick.

He gave Dom everything he had and it still wasn’t enough. He knows that it’s not his place to worry about Dom anymore, but the pictures he’s seen speak for themselves, and he’s always going to worry that something’s going to go wrong.

It’s all well and good for Elijah to exercise and become fit, but he’s not old enough to really know what he’s doing, and if he hurts Dom, well, that would be even worse. And maybe, if this is really what Dom wants, then shouldn’t Billy give it to him -- as a friend? Maybe Billy actually wants to give it to him but’s too afraid what that might say about him after all.

If he’s been around this block before, then shouldn’t he have learned something by now?

-end-

Note: I believe everybody’s already seen this image.

Current Mood: twisted
Current Music: The Wallflowers ‘One Headlight’